90 Days to Love or to Lose Your Mind? 😬

WEBVTT

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Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

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So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

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His wife just reached out to me.

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Welcome to the meat market.

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The single scene is a slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Lindsay.

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I'm Jess.

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And today, sizzling single is Justin.

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Welcome.

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Thank you for having me.

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So you made a cameo on 90-day fiance.

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Your best friend was on 90 Day Fiance, and they've asked you multiple times to go on.

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Why haven't you gone on?

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Um, because I just don't think I'm built for TV.

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I have more of a face for radio.

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Um is what I've been doing.

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Doesn't he?

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A little bit.

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Yeah.

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That was literally the nicest thing.

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Right when you met me, you said that I'm almost teared up, 100%.

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I was like, oh my gosh, this is gonna be phenomenal.

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Uh yes, one of my good friends out here was on 90-day fiance, and I've met some of the producers through him.

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Uh, we did shoot that did not air, thank goodness, because I was 85 pounds heavier than I was now at that time in my life.

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So good, that was my first part on TV.

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But uh I just don't think that's where I'm gonna find my wife.

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Are do you date internationally?

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Do you date foreign girls?

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I have never dated a foreign girl, but I have when I go there, like I've been on dates like with girls I've met there and like approached or been approached, whatever it is.

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And do you prefer foreign women or at 30 years old and being in Phoenix, I prefer somebody that likes me back?

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To be a hundred.

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If they've asked you to be on the show, like, are they gonna set you up with someone?

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Or then how does that work if you're not actually dating someone from another country?

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Yeah, so how much can I say about that?

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Um, I know that getting in trouble.

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Yeah, I know my NDA ran out, but there are a few things that are definitely secrets, but no, they will never provide you somebody to date.

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You have to bring them up.

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So I because I've never watched the show.

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So it's it's already couples that are that are they're already established.

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So the 90 day comes from, so it's the K1 visa.

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So the K1 visa is the fiance visa.

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So if you're dating someone in another country, you propose to them, you get engaged, you file for the K1 visa.

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Once your K1 visa is approved, you get to bring them to the United States and they have 90 days to live with you and get married to you.

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You have to get married.

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If you don't get married, they have to return to their country and they lose their visa.

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So that's the whole show.

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That sounds actually really good.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Do a lot of people make it?

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Um most of the people do end up getting married, um, but a lot of the people don't stay together long term.

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Got yeah.

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And so the show they don't match make.

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No.

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Okay.

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No, the the the couples are already together before they go on the show.

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Interesting.

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Yeah.

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But I have a friend, so I have a friend who she's now married.

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They have filed a spousal visa, but she also was really, she loved this show as well.

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And she's married to a Panamanian.

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And so they went back and forth whether to do the the fiance visa or the spousal visa, not sure, not sure.

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And one of the things I learned through her is that even if the marriage doesn't end up working out, you're still if you so if you bring them over here, marry them, and then that they can then file for their green card, they can work in the states, they can do all these things.

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Even if you get a divorce from them, you're still financially responsible.

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What?

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So they can come here, marry you, get their green card, work, divorce you, but then still rely on you financially for 10 years.

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Oh, yeah, she knows.

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And she's willing to take the risk.

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Isn't he a lot younger than her?

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Uh-huh.

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Yeah.

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I'll make fun of it.

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So you gotta make sure, you gotta make sure it's real true love because you can you can find yourself in screwed.

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In there some of the couples too, they've it's been real drama.

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They've gone on to have their own spin-offs because things like this come up, and you know, the person gets over here and then it comes out that they were just totally scamming the system and trying to get uh into the state.

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So you really, really want to get married, don't you?

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I wouldn't say really, really, to where I'm gonna settle and like you know, caddy green, or not green.

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I would love the caddy green flags, caddy red flags the whole time.

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But I mean, uh, it's more that my dad raised me um and we grew up very poor.

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Um, dad lost his parents when he was very young, and uh he managed a gas station in a very bad place, California, and he saved cans to put away for my uh college.

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And we lived in a five plex behind the gas station he managed.

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He managed nights, and until he met Rose, my stepmom, and most of my tattoos that I have are for her, all up my arm.

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Um, she's the love of my life.

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And the way she raised me and the way she sees me, the only thing I want to do to repay her is like show her me happy with somebody, um, which is all she wants because every time something doesn't work out, the look on her face, hearing her cry while I'm crying, you know, all of that good stuff is is very heartbreaking to me.

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And I would love to show them a grandkid.

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Um, yeah, that's pretty much just I don't want a big family because I can't afford it.

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Really?

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But uh I would say like perfect world, one boy, one girl.

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Yeah, um, but one would be fine with me.

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But someone's like, I want eight kids, and I'm like, get a dog.

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I don't like I don't want eight.

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That's too many.

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I can't afford that.

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Yeah.

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So I've seen your tick, you only have a couple TikTok videos where you talk about your disaster dates, and they're actually hilarious.

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You need to stick with that because you only have a couple and then you stop.

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But if you continuously do that, you will have a lot of followers because they are hilarious.

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Is it because you don't have a lot of disaster dates, or do you have a lot of disaster dates?

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No, it there are a lot of them are hidden, actually.

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It was one of the big things.

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Um, I had to hide them from my like when I first started dating my ex, one of her big things is like, don't embarrass me publicly.

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And I do definitely agree with that.

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Like, you don't want to embarrass your partner, do something dumb, or you go to a work event and you get drunk at her work event, and then you know, that's so embarrassing.

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And like, if I'm dating her, to be honest, I sort of live in the way of I don't have a past to where there was no girls before you.

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We all know we're all adults that you've been with guys before me, and I've been with girls before you, but like that's that's not you know, right here.

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That doesn't mean anything.

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So I did hide a lot of them just so it's like I don't want her to see that and well, who was this?

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And like, who is this?

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Because I know in me, like I've never cheated, I would never cheat, and it just doesn't matter.

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So I hid a lot of them and I actually just unhid them because I forgot because it's just my humor, it's like satire to where it's like you can laugh at my pain, and uh, I do love those.

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They're funny making like little graphs and stuff behind me on the TV.

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So the graphs are hilarious.

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So, what is the worst that you've been on, would you say?

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Oh um, I would say probably the one of the two that I actually had the video on of the dating update, like the most recent one, which is like a year, year and a half ago, of the girl that I picked up that was already hammered, and everyone's like, That's your fault.

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And I'm like, You think in this life that what we go through, I'm not gonna see that date through?

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Yeah, right.

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I'm a hundred percent gonna see that date through.

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I want to see exactly where that goes because I need that story.

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Like, I need a conversation.

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Did you pick her up at her house?

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Yes, and she was wasted.

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Yeah, at first I was just like, You have a very drunk personality, and then she was like, No, I am, and I was like, Yeah, get in.

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I was like, This is gonna be awesome, like that.

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And we were halfway there, uh, and she was like, pull over, pull over, and I was like, Okay, pulled over, puked, and then we got there, and then they're like drinks, and I'm like, I'm and she was like, Yes, and I was like, Oh no, oh no.

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Um, and then I went on a mini golf date about a year and a half ago, and she thought it'd be funny to Tiger Woods a ball, and she just cranked her little club all the way back.

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Yeah, the putter, hit it as hard as she could.

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It like missile off a rock, came right back, and hit me right here, and it made my nose bleed.

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Oh wow, yeah.

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But uh, I would say those were like the two I would say funniest, but I would just say, like, as of recent, like since my ex of well, what today is the 18th, six months, four days, and who's counting?

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Um, that I went on two dates and they were both disasters in their own right, to where it was just I didn't get catfish.

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Like I wouldn't say catfish, but like the first one when I saw her, she was about 35-40 pounds heavier than her photos, which does happen.

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I understand you gain and you lose weight, which is totally fine.

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But her photos were so edited to where it wasn't like I met you, I know your face from talking to you for a few days before we went on the date.

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And then, oh, you're just a little bit heavier than I thought you were.

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Like her face was so edited, it was like getting to know two different people again.

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And then the second one we just went out to like smoothies or whatever.

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Um, and then when I got there, I thought she was Hispanic.

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And I got there, she was a hundred percent Irish.

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That's how edited and filtered her photos were.

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Yeah, and I was like, wait, I was like, You're not Hispanic, and she was like, No, she's like, I'm 100% Irish, and I'm like, look at your pictures, and she was like, Well, yeah, I don't like how like pale my skin is.

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Oh, God, but yeah, I would say the first one was the worst because it was my friends pushing me.

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Justin, you don't understand how good of a guy you are because I don't think that about myself.

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It's all my friends feeding me and like my parents and everything, and I want to believe them the best of my abilities.

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But I got home and everyone was hyping me up.

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My buddy, who I live with, uh, we have a house down in Gilbert, uh, hyping me up.

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Everyone was like, Go out there, you know, go have fun.

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And I came back, nobody was there, sat down, cried my eyes out.

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I was yeah, it was a whole no-show?

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No, it was the first one where she was heavier, heavier, her face was different, and it was like it was the first time it was supposed to be something like romantic since like the breakup or whatever.

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I got home, I cried my eyes out.

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I was like, I can't do this.

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I was like, this is why I don't.

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Well, and it's unfortunate because you're not the first guest that we've had on that has said that this is a problem, and it's a been a problem more than once, like with women that they filters are out of control.

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Filters are out of control, and it's funny because women complain about men lying about their height and bitch and complain about it all day long, but they're using filters, that's just as bad.

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That's lying about your looks, yeah, right?

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Yeah, I had uh I had a sort of three X's ago.

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One of the funniest things I've ever heard come out of somebody that was supposed to love me's mouth.

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Um, she said, No, I haven't shown my friends any pictures of you because I think you look better in person.

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What?

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And I I've heard that quite a few times.

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So where they're like, No, you you look a lot better in person.

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Because my thing is if I'm gonna go on a date, is why would you have the bar up here if you can't reach that bar?

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I mean, maybe to that person you could reach that bar, but like I would rather them go, Oh, you look so much better in person, you look so much better, or like you're exactly who I thought you would be, is a great bar to have.

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Yeah, like you're exactly who I thought you were.

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Wouldn't you prefer to pleasantly surprise someone than disappoint someone?

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Yeah, for sure.

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Yeah.

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So didn't you go out with someone that had a tickle fetish?

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Oh, yes, I forgot about her.

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Tickle mielmo.

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Wait, a tickle fetish?

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Yeah, it was.

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I don't even know how this came up.

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She asked me about, I feel like as you get older, people like to be a lot more open about like your kinks or whatever.

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And I'm just like, um, she asked me straight up.

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She was like, like, what are like your kinks?

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And I'm like, um, a girl that has a family, wants a family, uh, you know, staying with me through hard times.

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She's like, no, in the bedroom.

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I'm like, I know what you meant.

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All right.

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I knew 100% what you meant.

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And then she's like, well, my thing is tickling.

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And I was like, like Elmo?

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And I didn't mean to say like Elmo, to be 100% honest, but I was really caught off guard about that one.

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And she's like, Yeah, it just does something to me.

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And I'm like, it does something to me too, but don't touch me.

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Like, don't try to tickle me.

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And she's like, Oh, so you're ticklish.

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And I tell everybody, no, I'm not ticklish, so you don't touch me.

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Like, just don't grab me, like fondle me.

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And uh, but yeah, that was her thing.

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And I that was a one and done as well.

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That was Did you ever tickle her?

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No, no, never I'm not a I'm not a big touch person, anyways, because I do think from a woman's standpoint, uh, you definitely not that I can stand on that, but you are definitely touched more than you should be, like even by like men in conversation in workplace and stuff of like the elbow touch and all that kind of stuff like that, where I just don't like being touched myself, and I've seen it happen to women.

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So I'm just like, don't touch me.

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Yeah.

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So didn't you say you went on a date with someone that was driving a Hyundai and you mentioned Hyundai and they were like, What's Hyundai?

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Tell us that story.

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So this was a flight attendant.

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Uh I was you'd expect more from a flight attendant.

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Would you though?

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No, I know I know I know about six, and it's about it's about on par.

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And uh, with all respect to my flight attendants, I love all you.

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All right, I still need your flight passes, I'm poor.

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Um but I was on a flight to San Diego, and I just got on the frontier flight.

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I don't care, just get me there.

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And the guy next to me was like kept nudging me, and he was just like, dude, that flight attendant.

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And I was like, that is a flight attendant.

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You were correct.

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That is a flight attendant.

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He's like, No, she keeps looking at you, and I was like, don't know why, but okay.

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And so I was like, you know what?

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I'm gonna be bold.

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I don't do this, I usually don't approach people, I don't do that.

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But I wrote my number down on like a napkin, and I was like, if you're in Phoenix, let me know we can go on a date.

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And then right when I got off the plane, I got home.

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That's when I lived in Scottsdale, she texted me, so I'm actually Phoenix based, we can go on a date, da-da-da.

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Took her on a date.

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Um, she was great, like she's great.

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It was just some of the things that she said, and I was like, What's your favorite brand of like car?

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Like, if you had a dream car, what would it be?

00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:55.759
And she looked at me and she goes, Hellcat.

00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:58.639
And I go, Pardon me?

00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:00.240
I was like, a hell cat?

00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:02.159
I was like, all right, that's crazy.

00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:03.919
But I'm like, what about another car?

00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:06.639
And she goes, Dodge Challenger.

00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:07.840
And I go, okay.

00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:10.159
I go, let's start naming cars.

00:15:10.399 --> 00:15:15.200
And I go, like, Lamborghini, Ferrari, all this kind of stuff.

00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:17.519
And then she goes, why drive a Honda?

00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:19.919
And I go, No, you don't.

00:15:20.159 --> 00:15:21.600
And she goes, Yes, I do.

00:15:21.679 --> 00:15:24.799
And she took her key fob out and was like, there's the H on it.

00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:29.279
And I go, My love, that's Hyundai, first and foremost.

00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:31.360
And she goes, Hyundai?

00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:32.879
What is that?

00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:43.759
And I go, ma'am, it's the car you drove here to meet me to a date that I'm going to pay for and have to go home and rethink some things about my life.

00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:46.639
I'm like, I have four college degrees.

00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:50.799
I don't think I'm smarter than anybody, but I do know the difference between Honda and Hyundai.

00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:52.080
She goes, I never knew that.

00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:53.279
Oh my god.

00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:55.600
And I was like, oh my gosh.

00:15:55.759 --> 00:16:00.240
And then I got home and I told my best friend out here, like my bestest, bestest friend, Josh Allen.

00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:01.919
And he goes, So are you gonna see her again?

00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:02.480
You're not, right?

00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:03.440
And I go, no, 100%.

00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:07.200
I'm like, there's levels that I need to get to because I gotta figure this out.

00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:09.759
How did she pass the flight attendant class?

00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:13.279
Flight attending classes that I'm sure you have to take tests and stuff, right?

00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:14.320
I don't know.

00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:15.200
I don't know.

00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:16.159
That's crazy.

00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:19.360
So um, is she the one that spelt neck K-N-E-C-K?

00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:21.759
No, she was not actually.

00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:22.960
I'm trying to think who that was.

00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:24.320
I'm sorry.

00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:25.919
K-N-E-C.

00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:27.840
Didn't you say you did it?

00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:30.799
Someone she thought you spelled neck with a K.

00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:34.159
Yeah, she kept saying, and I thought it was like an inside joke.

00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:39.120
Um, because like I don't, well, I haven't cussed in like three, four months.

00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:40.159
I don't cuss anymore.

00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:42.080
And then like I don't like the word horny.

00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:43.200
I don't know what we can say on here.

00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:44.159
I'm sorry, but I said that.

00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:47.279
You can say I don't know, but I don't like to say that.

00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:55.759
So I say herny, H-E-R-N-I, and it's just from like a streamer set at one time, and me and a few of my buddies will say just it's like a funny thing.

00:16:55.840 --> 00:17:08.799
So I thought it was sort of like an inside joke, like, but every time it would come to like something about like I sent her a crew neck, and I go, How do you like the collar of this?

00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:13.599
And then she was like, Doesn't that look like it'd be tied around your neck?

00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:15.359
But it was K-N-E-C-K.

00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:17.440
That is hilarious.

00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:20.400
And I was like, What?

00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:24.480
And this was gosh, this was like four or five years ago, actually.

00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:26.000
This is like right out of college that happened.

00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:27.039
And I was just like, What?

00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:30.559
And then I go, Can you pronounce that for me?

00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:34.799
And she just sent me a voice note and she was like, That would look tied around your neck.

00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:36.720
And I was like, Okay, no, she's doing it.

00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:38.640
Like, I go, I think she does that.

00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:44.480
And she again, she went to ASU, she had a degree, and so she legitimately thought you spelled it K-N-E-C-K.

00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:46.319
Wow, interesting.

00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:47.839
God bless her, is my mom would say.

00:17:48.079 --> 00:17:50.880
And auto auto autocorrect didn't pick that up.

00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:53.839
Well, apparently switch it back to just neck right.

00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:57.359
You just get stubborn enough to go know autocorrect your wrong.

00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:57.839
Yeah.

00:17:58.079 --> 00:18:00.960
I'm gonna click it enough to where autocorrect goes, you got it, girl.

00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:02.160
You just you got it, Queen.

00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:02.880
Do you?

00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:03.759
Yeah, you do you.

00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:05.119
So you have four degrees?

00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:05.839
I do.

00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:08.559
I have two from ASU and then I have two AAs.

00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.240
So in what?

00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.200
Uh I have one in business, I have one in communication.

00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:15.200
Um, those are my two from ASU.

00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:20.720
Then I have one in arts and humanities, and then I have one in social and behavioral sciences.

00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:21.759
And what do you do?

00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:26.160
The best way I can say it is account management for a software startup back east.

00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:26.559
Okay.

00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:29.519
So they everyone's based in like Boston and I'm based out here.

00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:30.799
They're all based on the East Coast.

00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:31.279
I do that.

00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:34.240
I do uh content for them for like their LinkedIn.

00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:38.720
Of course, you've seen the TikToks, they love the personality when I can muster it up.

00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:43.119
But uh I do that for them, a little bit of like design and stuff too.

00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:47.759
But every day, day to day is gonna be like account support and account management.

00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:49.920
And uh, when was your last relationship?

00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:52.160
Your last long term defined long term.

00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:54.720
What is the longest relationship you've been in?

00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.440
Uh my first ever one was like on and off three years.

00:18:57.680 --> 00:18:58.640
Okay, that's a long time.

00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:06.799
Yeah, but I was just 17 to 20, just small town, couldn't get away from each other, sort of a thing.

00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:11.680
And like she's married, you know, good for her, all that kind of good stuff.

00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:22.720
They she still lives in our hometown and everything, but uh um my last one was I met her in October, which I just found out actually when I was in the UK.

00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:31.200
I got a memory that my last three exes, I either met them in October or I asked them to be my girlfriend in October.

00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:33.519
Wow, you got the memories of three different girls.

00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:35.759
I was like, And guess what month it is now?

00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:36.880
October!

00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:38.960
Yeah, guess what month we're skipping?

00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:40.640
Um October.

00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:44.000
But uh, but yes, it was very I love October.

00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:47.759
It's my stepmom's birthday, 1010, and it's like the best month because of her.

00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:50.400
But um, yeah, that was incredibly odd.

00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:57.680
But uh I met her in October, and she ended things uh April 14th.

00:19:58.480 --> 00:19:59.440
And why did that end?

00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:14.960
Um I will fully fall on the sword on that one, and uh I don't think I loved her how she needed to be loved, uh, and that's fully acceptable.

00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:19.440
Right when we met, it was just a series of like emotional events in my life.

00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:23.839
And please, anybody listening and y'all don't take it as an excuse because it isn't.

00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:25.200
I just have to be real with myself.

00:20:25.359 --> 00:20:28.559
Of we met and my stepdad's sister died.

00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:33.920
So, like my step aunt died who had been sick her whole life, and I went out to support my family in Boise.

00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:37.920
Um, that side of the family in Boise, um, right when we met.

00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:47.759
And then right after that, my dad called me and that his heart was acting up again, and he's already had heart surgery, and that weighs on me a lot.

00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:53.920
And then uh in February, it was my dad calls me.

00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:57.839
I was at Fry's getting water in the morning, and my dad calls me in tears.

00:20:58.079 --> 00:21:01.599
My dad's not the man to cry, not the man to cry.

00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:04.160
Um, and I'm like, oh my gosh, what happened?

00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:06.400
And he's like, It's Rose, it's Rose, and I'm like, What happened?

00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:09.359
Like, you know, and he found her bleeding out on our kitchen floor.

00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:10.000
Oh my gosh.

00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:20.400
Um, she fell and uh like cracked her head open, and then like a few weeks after she was having like a follow-up MRI, and they rushed her to the hospital because she had to have emergency brain surgery because she was bleeding into her brain.

00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:33.519
And I thought I was handling it well and like hiding it, and um I think that took a lot away from like the relationship, and that is 100% fair.

00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:37.920
And I know, in all fairness to her, she did see like the sides of me that I do want to show.

00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:50.880
Like, she wrote me letters um that I still like I still have one of them or whatever, and um saying about how lucky she is to find like a guy like me, like in this generation, of course, and like who's caring and thoughtful and like listens.

00:21:51.440 --> 00:22:01.680
And I just think with everything going on, um, I went home and I was home for five weeks and uh to to help take care of my stepmom after her brain surgery.

00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:08.319
My dad, you know, loved him to death, but he gets irritated and just because he can't fix it.

00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:11.519
And um I called her one morning.

00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:20.799
We had like a little tiff the night the day before, and I heard it in her voice immediately uh what was gonna happen, and I just completely shut down and went cold, and it's something I'll always regret.

00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:25.599
Um, my whole body and mind screaming at me, just tell her how much you love her.

00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:27.440
She does not understand how much you love her.

00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:29.279
Like, you don't tell her, da-da-da-da.

00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:41.599
And uh yeah, and then she ended it, which I fully understand, and I realize her reasonings and um I could have been better, and everything along those lines.

00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:44.799
And then I called my uh work husband Tim.

00:22:44.960 --> 00:23:00.160
Um love Tim, he's a 41-year-old divorced gay man, one of the best people in my life, and sobbed my eyes out, and uh I just sat there and I'm like, you couldn't cry to her, but you just cried to when I joke, Tim, my work husband.

00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:08.559
Um and it was yeah, that you always think you hit rock bottom until you dig a little deeper.

00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:11.359
I I didn't talk for five days.

00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:13.440
Like my parents were genuinely worried about me.

00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:19.279
They just would say it, and I was just and I don't think to be fair to myself, it wasn't because she left, right?

00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:27.759
It wasn't just because, oh my gosh, she's gone, because I understood that I just couldn't be that person she needed me to be, and that just was not fair to her, like by any way, shape, or form.

00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:34.240
It was the weight of everything of me hiding it um absolutely just broke me.

00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:46.160
Like it put me in a place that I never thought I could be in, and work saw it, and uh it was the uh it was probably the worst.

00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:49.359
I would say the last six months have been some of the worst times of my life.

00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:56.960
But uh yeah, we lost 50 pounds and uh everything happens for them back on track.

00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:57.920
Yeah, I guess.

00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.160
But uh now you're ready to jump in the saddle again.

00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:02.559
Have you been on many dates since then?

00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:03.519
Just those two.

00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:04.480
Just those two.

00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:05.119
Yeah, yeah.

00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:07.200
What are your deal breakers?

00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:11.599
Um if you have kids, I'm sorry.

00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:15.119
I was raised by a stepmom, so I'm a huge hypocrite on that.

00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:17.039
That she You seem to really love your stepmom.

00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:17.519
I love that.

00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:19.279
Love in my life 100%.

00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:27.359
She's my dad's a very, very, I'm not gonna say a strict guy, but he's definitely very like a harder dad.

00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.559
It wasn't like a feelings relationship with me and my dad.

00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:35.599
It was I played baseball and I felt like sometimes if I did bad, I wasn't a good son.

00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:46.720
And when I did good, I was a good son sometimes, and like Rose was the one that like showed me like real love because I only saw my mom on the weekends, and I'm all I love my mom to death that takes nothing away from my biological mom.

00:24:46.799 --> 00:25:01.039
I love my mom, I just went to the UK with her, so um but yeah, no, she is like the love of my life, uh, my rock and everything, and I try to do everything and live through her and just be the best person I can because that's how she raised me.

00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:04.640
So but you could never date someone that has kids with someone else.

00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:12.720
No, I want to start that family with somebody, and I know I sound like a hypocrite and I want to be fair and I can call that out, but it's just that's a big deal breaker for me.

00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:17.119
Are there anything else that like that you cannot get past?

00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:28.799
Um, some sort of relationship with some higher power, like a god, okay, maybe not like a John Travolta Colt like relationship, but you know it's not like that, but some relationship with God I would love.

00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:32.000
Um I would say that's a huge deal breaker to me.

00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:49.759
Um, somebody that is somewhat focused on their fitness, not or like their health, I should say, not their fitness, because I think it's such a big turnoff and so disrespectful to say I'm 185 pounds, I get in a relationship with a girl that's 135 pounds.

00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:51.680
I don't know a normal weight of a woman, I don't ask.

00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:56.079
So say I'm gonna say 135, 5'4, boom.

00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:06.160
And then we go on and then we're dating for a year, and she's 138 pounds, and I'm 242 pounds, because that's not what you're signing up for.

00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:10.160
Because one, you're only taking years off of your life, you're not taking care of yourself.

00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:18.480
We all do go through things and stuff, but um, someone that's like definitely health conscious a little bit as well, because I've struggled with weight since I got out of college.

00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:24.319
I got all the way up to 268 pounds, like through COVID and stuff, and like this morning I was 183.

00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:27.200
So, like, I definitely you can do it.

00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:29.200
If I can do it, you can do it, sort of a thing.

00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:37.039
So well, and I was having this conversation with someone recently because it's like you want to be able to do fun, active things with your partner.

00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:45.599
And it's like if you like to do things like walk, or even like I was using the have a supai hike as an example.

00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:50.720
Like I when I was with my ex, we took my parents on the have a supai hike.

00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:51.039
Okay.

00:26:51.359 --> 00:27:02.799
And my mom, my dad, and I hiked back out, but my ex took the helicopter out because he wasn't like in the physical shape to do it.

00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:13.359
And it's just like stuff like that, where it's like, come on, like it'd be nice if we were all in the same physical shape to be able to do those things together.

00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:19.920
Because now it's like you missed out on that experience with us because you weren't in the shape to do it.

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:25.680
Like, it's like you don't need to be a bodybuilder or anything, but just to be able to do things together.

00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:27.920
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00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:14.799
Have you ever walked out mid-date or had someone walk out mid-date?

00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:16.240
No, actually.

00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:18.480
I don't think I could ever be that disrespectful.

00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:34.559
Um, I think time is very precious and we don't have much of it to where unless, because I've never had it, unless someone is just being uberly disrespectful to me, or like vice versa, if I was somehow, which would not happen, but if I was being disrespectful to them, I'd they left, I would understand or something.

00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:52.559
But um, even if like say the person that like I knew I was never gonna go on a second date with them, and like sorry, love, I'm not gonna talk to you after this, even though I'm not gonna tell them that, but I will let it die out because I'm like, this feels a lot lighter of a landing than me just telling you, you don't look like what you're supposed to look like.

00:28:52.880 --> 00:29:16.799
Um getting to know somebody and spending time with somebody is still like very precious that not everybody can do, and I'll always have a conversation with anybody that wants to talk because as somebody that's struggled through mental health like their whole life and just discovering it nine years ago that I was even clinically severely depressed by the doctors at my college and everything, to where you don't know what impact you can make on that person.

00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:18.240
Oh it's actually very true.

00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:23.839
Yeah, my buddy Um Derek, I actually have his initials tattooed right here on my arm.

00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:27.680
Um, he was my buddy from college on the back of his gravestone.

00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:32.880
It actually says, make somebody smile today, and I will live by that till the day I die.

00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:40.880
Um it's kind of true because we had a guess that she walks out mid-date all the time and will just block them, won't even give them them an explanation.

00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:43.920
She might be doing damage to some of these guys, you know?

00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:46.640
Like you don't know what effect she's that does.

00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:47.359
Yeah.

00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:47.839
Yeah.

00:29:48.240 --> 00:29:57.200
Do you do you find that you disclose your mental health stuff fairly early when you are getting to know someone that you're dating, or do you sort of keep that?

00:29:57.680 --> 00:29:59.519
Yeah, I think it definitely comes up.

00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:03.039
Um It's just I just struggle sometimes.

00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:04.559
I have good days, bad days.

00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:06.960
Good days, bad months, maybe.

00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:10.480
Um, but you know, uh, yeah, like I'm very open about it.

00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:15.839
I'm very I all joke about it and stuff like that, and it doesn't really bother me if somebody jokes about it or anything.

00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:24.720
Like I've um you know, tried to not be here a few times and think, you know, the Lord that I still am here and everything like that, and it's I don't hide it.

00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:30.319
Like um I have like ways of like I can express things and everything.

00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:40.559
Like what nobody really knows about me is unless you've seen my hinge, because they help me craft it, like friends and family and stuff, they all help me craft my hinge.

00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:49.440
And it's like the two truths and a lie on my thing is is I'm an award-winning poet, I'm an award-winning carpenter, and I have three college degrees, and I have four.

00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:51.920
So it's like even if you're like, I have more.

00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:56.880
Um, to where like I'll like write like poetry or something, um, which I've won awards for.

00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:00.880
Um, I have like my little escapes that I'll like do when I get sad.

00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:02.960
It's just really when I write is when I'm sad.

00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:04.160
That's like the worst part.

00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:05.599
Have you been cheated on?

00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:09.359
Not that I know of.

00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:10.160
Have you cheated?

00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:11.359
Never in my life.

00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:12.160
I couldn't.

00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:21.359
There's I don't I don't see how you can get to that point with somebody that you could do it.

00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:24.240
And it depends how you define cheating as well.

00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:34.000
Never done any, but I can see somebody of like, well, you emotionally cheated with somebody at work because you told her she was cute or something, and I'm like, take a step back.

00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:38.160
All right, like I don't care if you're like, you look good today, John.

00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:40.079
John may have needed that.

00:31:40.480 --> 00:31:44.720
Okay, but doesn't mean you and John went to the broom closet and got it on.

00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:45.119
Yeah.

00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:58.480
Um, but no, like physically cheated, or I would even say emotionally cheated, to where like even when I'm in a relationship where like I don't like my and they hate it because I do have probably four or five girls that are very close to me that I've never been intimate with.

00:31:58.640 --> 00:32:06.319
They just love who I am, and even through boyfriends and stuff, I always tell them if you have a boyfriend, I really don't feel comfortable talking to you because I wouldn't like that.

00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:12.559
That I don't like the girls' pictures, I don't, I'm not gonna go through and unfollow girls, like that is absolutely nuts.

00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:26.960
But uh, I don't go and I'm not liking bikini pictures on Instagram and stuff because I don't want my partner to feel insecure about anything about themselves, because the reason I picked you is because you're perfect, and that's like one of my biggest Achilles heels with dating.

00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:32.640
Is my baseline is 90 days before 90 days after, not the fiance kind.

00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:45.680
But great callback, but uh is 90 days before you ask somebody out, and then depending on how long you've dated officially, 90 days after before you want to really hop into bed, go on another date or anything, because that's where you learn the most.

00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:54.480
And my thing is when I date somebody, it rewires my own mind to where that is now my that's beauty to me.

00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:57.359
Of they like they are the beauty standard.

00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:10.640
So, like, yes, can I look around and go, yes, that person's attractive, sure, but they're not you and like I'm not interested in them, and that's why it's really hard after to where like I haven't been with anybody since my ex you know six months ago.

00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:18.240
I'm not upset about that, is because if I go on a date and I'm still comparing them to this person, you're not ready to go get into bed with somebody.

00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:22.240
That creates a bond, regardless if it's a one-night stand or not.

00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:25.039
Somebody could get attached, you're not ready.

00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:30.480
Now you just hurt somebody that thought you were really interested in them, and I'm just not that.

00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:32.160
I don't need that that bad.

00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:36.720
Are you meeting anyone else on on any other platforms other than Hinge?

00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:38.160
Or are you just using Hinge?

00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:52.960
I using Hinge is if I use something, it would be Hinge, but I don't like Doom Scrolling because you do see your likes sometimes, and I'm just like I'm like, it might be me.

00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:54.400
Like it could be me.

00:33:54.559 --> 00:34:01.279
And I mean, with all respect to them, they're just not my type, and you know, I hope they find the love they're looking for, but I feel like that's a guy and a girl thing.

00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:04.480
You'll see you're most compatible, and I'm like, to who.

00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:06.559
Are you ready for it?

00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:07.279
I'm ready for it.

00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:10.480
The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies.

00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:14.639
They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your relationship.

00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:17.519
All right, so we have a little listener question.

00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:18.719
Oh Lord.

00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:25.760
I recently went over to my boyfriend's parents' house for dinner for the first time.

00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:30.960
Their mom making her secret, her famous secret family recipe.

00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:34.400
Well, I did not love it.

00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:41.679
Should I tell my partner that the secret family recipe is terrible?

00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:43.199
That's tough.

00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:45.119
Why not?

00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:46.880
Life's too short.

00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:50.320
I don't think so, honestly, because what are you gaining from that?

00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:50.639
Right.

00:34:50.800 --> 00:34:51.519
Yeah, it's true.

00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:55.360
If that's going to be your nightly meal, then sure.

00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:59.760
But if this is gonna be for Thanksgiving, the holidays, you're just you're just gonna have to put it down.

00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:00.559
Yeah, you know.

00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:05.920
Because you if you if you are honest, you could you run the risk of offending the family, right?

00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:06.960
Is it worth it?

00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:07.599
Like you said.

00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:17.280
My problem is, is my my face, like that his mom is gonna know that I didn't like the meal as I oh you can't fake it?

00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:19.840
No, I'm so bad at faking stuff like that.

00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:20.480
Really?

00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:21.280
Yeah.

00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:29.679
So if it sounds too nice and I don't like confrontation, that I will act like I love it, even if it's the most disgusting thing I've ever had, of like, oh my god, this is so good.

00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:30.079
Wow.

00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:31.360
See, I can't do that.

00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:32.480
Not genuinely.

00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:37.840
Like it, I feel like the I feel like she would, the mother would know that I was faking.

00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:40.880
Would you say, oh, this is delicious, even if you hated it?

00:35:41.119 --> 00:35:42.239
That's the thing, is I don't lie.

00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:42.960
That's it.00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:44.400


I know, and I have a hard time too.00:35:44.559 --> 00:35:48.480


I think it'd be like, for me, I'd be like, well, it's interesting.00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:52.559


Oh my god, it's interesting.00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:55.199


I've never tasted something quite like this.00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:57.360


I was just gonna say that I'm like, I've never had anything like this.00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.039


That's what I probably would say.00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:00.800


I've never had anything quite like this.00:36:01.199 --> 00:36:02.239


That is hilarious.00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:03.920


I mean, I have a really refined palate.00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:07.679


I don't know if this lands on my palate, but I understand what you like it.00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:08.559


It does.00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:10.960


So you made a comment that you don't curse.00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:13.280


Is that a religious thing or just a personal thing?00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:14.320


Are you religious?00:36:14.639 --> 00:36:16.639


Yes, uh, very religious.00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:22.320


Um, some of my friends, um they brought me back more to God.00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:26.719


Um, and that's one of the things who is hard a little bit for dating uh for me as well.00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:35.039


And this is gonna make me sound sort of conceited or weird, but um, some of my closest friends out here play in the NFL.00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:37.360


Uh, one of my really good friends plays in the MLB.00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:46.000


I have a friend that's an actress to where they're not people you just bring random dates around because like they have their families and stuff and like they trust me and everything.00:36:46.079 --> 00:36:59.599


So it's a little hard to date there because I'm gonna bring them around, this girl, and they are a little bit, they don't act like this by any means with a higher profile of people, make a lot more money and stuff where it is a little weird, and I have to really see like, are you gonna mix with this friend group?00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:05.760


But um, yes, uh my buddy Isaiah, he brought me back to church.00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:10.880


Um, I grew up Catholic, and so I'm Italian, you know, it's Catholic Italian.00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:22.159


Um, but I just really got like over it because it was just so forced, and I went through college and did my stuff, and then he was always just so let's go to church, man.00:37:22.239 --> 00:37:23.679


You know, God's got you all this stuff.00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:27.760


Like I already had like a Bible verse right here, I have another Bible verse right here, like all this kind of stuff.00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:30.400


And he was like, if you're gonna have it, like let's live it.00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:41.199


And um, no, the reason I don't cuss is um I can be open, it's fine, is June 30th, or is June 30th?00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:42.880


June has 30 days, I believe.00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:44.719


Um, four degrees, by the way.00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:47.599


30 days has September, April, June, and November.00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:49.199


Oh, golly, golly.00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:51.440


So yes, June, golly gee.00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:53.199


June has 30 days, it sure does.00:37:53.360 --> 00:37:55.360


Yeah, everyone makes fun of you saying golly too.00:37:55.519 --> 00:37:57.760


Like I have a few friends that say golly because of me.00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:01.039


But uh no, uh, I had a really bad night.00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:06.079


And uh I thought that that was gonna be, you know, my last night here.00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:14.480


And uh texted my manager at work and told her, I go, if you don't see me online on Slack tomorrow morning, it just means that I'm not here anymore.00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:32.320


And called my stepmom and talked to her a little bit and pretty much tried to make that our last phone call and uh sat across the sat across my bed from something that could have taken my life and then um got lucky that my housemate at the time, um, who never would just come in my room, just barged in my room at the last second.00:38:32.400 --> 00:38:35.039


I was sitting there crying and everything, and he's like, dude, what what is going on?00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:36.239


I can hear you, like all this stuff.00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:38.559


And I'm like, geez, I don't ugly cry for one, bro.00:38:38.639 --> 00:38:40.079


Don't come in here and tell me I ugly cry.00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:41.760


All right, I was crying like a man in here.00:38:41.840 --> 00:38:48.559


All right, but uh yeah, after that, it just again, it was just another, I thought I was doing good after the breakup.00:38:48.639 --> 00:38:50.239


It's been two and a half, three months.00:38:50.320 --> 00:38:51.360


I just turned 30.00:38:51.519 --> 00:38:54.159


I had lost like 30 pounds at that time, and I'm like, You're going up.00:38:54.239 --> 00:39:02.559


And that night just broke me back to all the way down to where it felt like we broke up the day before, that uh my stepmom just had the surgery the day before, all of this kind of stuff.00:39:02.639 --> 00:39:10.960


And then it just flipped it again to where since then, like every night, like I read my Bible before bed, I play like my smooth jazz or a jazz record.00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:11.840


I love jazz.00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:12.960


Um, sit there.00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:14.800


I was like, let's really just clean up your life.00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:22.079


Like, let's stop saying that we're changed, you know, you've been in therapy for four plus years, that like you are this perfect person.00:39:22.239 --> 00:39:26.400


Like, let's really try to dive deeper of this quote unquote focusing on yourself.00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:29.440


And uh one of those things I just tried, I was like, stop cussing.00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:35.199


Because I think that if somebody cusses every single sentence, it shows a very limited vocabulary.00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:43.920


And I don't have a very limited vocabulary, but when I was cussing twice a sentence, to me, it just comes off as very unattractive if it's every other word.00:39:44.079 --> 00:39:48.159


Because if someone cusses, I'm like, hey, you're going to H E double hockey sticks, bro.00:39:48.400 --> 00:39:50.000


I don't care about that, but yeah.00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:50.960


Have you heard?00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:52.400


So now we're gonna discuss an article.00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:55.599


Have you there are so many new dating trends out there, it's hard to keep up.00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:57.920


Have you heard of the dating trend Shreking?00:39:58.320 --> 00:39:58.719


Yeah.00:39:58.960 --> 00:39:59.440


You have?00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:00.400


Like the ogre.00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:07.039


So Shreking is when you date down, you date, you're out of their league, so you're dating someone that's less attractive than you are.00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:08.239


Yeah, and you're the princess.00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:12.320


Yeah, and you know you do this so you have the upper hand, and so that you're not gonna get hurt.00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:13.920


That's crazy people do that.00:40:14.159 --> 00:40:16.400


And have you heard of getting Shreked?00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:21.679


When you're when you're Shreking, you're dating someone that's uglier than you, but then you end up getting your heart broken.00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:23.199


You're like, what the fuck happened?00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:24.880


How did I get hurt?00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:29.840


I've I feel like it's this has been a strategy, though, always.00:40:30.800 --> 00:40:31.599


No, there's just a name for it.00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:33.360


There's just a name for it now.00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:34.880


Because I feel like 100%.00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:54.000


I feel like that's it's I mean, you think about like the storylines of like movies and books and things like that, of like the the popular girl all of a sudden dating the nerd, or vice versa, like the she's all that, where he the popular guy doesn't make over on the nerdy artsy girl.00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:54.880


And you know what I mean?00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:56.159


Well, again, that song.00:40:56.239 --> 00:41:00.880


If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you gotta choose an ugly girl for your wife, you know?00:41:01.199 --> 00:41:02.000


Dating them.00:41:02.559 --> 00:41:03.519


Ugly is a little crazy.00:41:03.679 --> 00:41:04.880


Ugly and rich, I'm fine with it.00:41:04.960 --> 00:41:11.360


All right, but uh it's because like in communication, one of the things is the first level of communication is attractiveness.00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:14.239


Like it, there's no people say looks don't matter, it's total BS.00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:15.440


It's just not science.00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:23.679


To where if you put a guy or a girl in a room and there's 10 people, the person they walk up to, they're going to think is attractive every single time.00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:29.360


If you're like, go talk to somebody, it's because they're gonna feel a little bit more like there's gonna be a reward if I talk to this person.00:41:29.679 --> 00:41:35.599


Um yeah, I don't think I could ever but I feel like personality can change looks, right?00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:41.360


There can be someone that's not so attractive, but then if they're very gregarious or funny or witty, they can become good looking, though.00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:42.880


I would be a 10 out of 10.00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:43.440


I'm hilarious.00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:46.239


I think yeah, I think that's funny.00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:51.440


But I think people can become more attractive to you, depending on their personality for sure.00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:52.320


Have you ever struck?00:41:52.559 --> 00:41:59.280


Like, I remember when I was younger, I dated, I had a career, I bought my first condo in Scottsdale, and I dated this guy that was like a doorman at a bar.00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:06.719


And I was like, haha, you know, like I had the upper hand, he's never gonna leave me, I'm never gonna get hurt, and sure enough, he fucking left me and I got hurt tracked.00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:09.199


Like, what the fuck happened?00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:14.719


I mean, I feel like pretty much all of my friends would say no complaints was a show.00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:17.280


You made it down big time.00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:19.280


Well, and even my last ex, I think.00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:24.400


You laid on her stuff, golly, all right?00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:27.840


Everyone knows that, and I know that.00:42:28.159 --> 00:42:32.000


And I ended up cheating on her with multiple women, like Yeah, no.00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:38.480


And then even I mean, even my ex that was an addict, he was he was better looking.00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:47.679


Like he was better looking than than the first time, then no complaints, but he still was not better looking.00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:48.320


You know what I mean?00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:50.000


Like it was like him ugly, yeah.00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:51.360


Yes, yeah.00:42:51.599 --> 00:42:54.480


No, I thought his personality had made him more attractive.00:42:54.880 --> 00:42:59.039


I like the I like a little bit of like a harshly an addict sense of humor.00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:00.559


That's not personality.00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:01.280


Kind of.00:43:01.519 --> 00:43:03.280


I mean, it makes someone less attractive, right?00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:05.760


It does, but being an addict isn't a personality trait.00:43:06.079 --> 00:43:08.320


Being an addict is mental health, you are too.00:43:08.559 --> 00:43:10.800


You have a drunk personality, you know what I'm saying?00:43:11.039 --> 00:43:12.320


That is fair, honestly.00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:17.840


Yeah, say my work personality then once three when three hits, that's not me anymore.00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:18.239


Right.00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:19.599


Um I'm different judgments.00:43:20.079 --> 00:43:23.840


So now we're gonna chat the celebrity cup, will be marinate in the juices of the celebrities.00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:25.440


What is up with Bad Bunny?00:43:25.599 --> 00:43:28.239


Like all the people that are against him performing at the Super Bowl.00:43:28.320 --> 00:43:28.880


Do you get that?00:43:29.039 --> 00:43:29.280


No.00:43:29.519 --> 00:43:34.079


Well, everyone has their panties in a twist, they're all up in arms because Bad Bunny's performing.00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:37.119


And like people are throwing their own halftime show, like turning point.00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:40.000


They're doing their own half, their alternative halftime show.00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:46.159


But then, so I Googled it, and the reasons are people are against it because, okay, he sings in Spanish.00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:49.440


But over 50 million people in this country speak Spanish.00:43:49.679 --> 00:43:52.880


People in this country were speaking Spanish long before they were speaking English.00:43:52.960 --> 00:43:54.719


So I feel like that's not a valid argument.00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:56.400


Then they're saying, well, he's not from here.00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:58.719


He's a US citizen, he's a US citizen, right?00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:02.880


Do you know how many people have performed in the halftime show that are not US citizens?00:44:03.039 --> 00:44:08.400


Rihanna from Barbados, like Sting, Rolling Stones, uh, Shakira from Columbia.00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:11.679


They're not US citizens, but did people complain when they performed?00:44:11.840 --> 00:44:12.719


I just don't get it.00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:13.920


I don't get it either.00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:19.599


Wasn't it because he said this is the only thing I have seen, so I could be totally wrong.00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:30.639


I think it was that he said that he wasn't going to perform in America anymore because of like the deportation policies that Trump put in, and that he's totally flipping on that now to do the halftime show.00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:33.199


That is the only thing I read on it, and I could be totally wrong.00:44:34.239 --> 00:44:34.960


I didn't read that.00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:36.559


I I am I am not sure.00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:40.719


And then people were saying he's not mainstream enough, but he's won three Grammys.00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:45.519


Yeah, songs were the number one stream songs on Spotify for three years in a row.00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:48.239


He's sold millions of tickets for his US tour.00:44:48.320 --> 00:44:49.280


I think he's pretty mainstream.00:44:49.519 --> 00:44:54.880


I could see it, like I could see it if people were upset about his lyrics, because his lyrics are very spicy.00:44:55.119 --> 00:44:55.840


Okay, so I don't know.00:44:56.079 --> 00:44:56.960


Very, very spicy.00:44:57.280 --> 00:45:02.719


But the problem is the people who are complaining about him performing can't understand his lyrics anymore.00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:14.480


So, like, because like that would be my thing, is I'd be like, oh, if I have bilingual kids, I'd be like, ooh, I don't know, like it's a little, the lyrics are a little racy, you know what I mean?00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:17.039


For my kids who are watching the Super Bowl halftime show.00:45:17.199 --> 00:45:27.679


But I feel like the ones who are complaining the most are the ones who are the ones who are like, if you're gonna be in America, speak English, speak English and they're gonna and they don't understand the lyrics anyways.00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:28.400


It's so true.00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:29.039


I don't know.00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:31.360


Aren't a lot of the halftime shows a little risque?00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:33.280


Yeah, people are always complaining about them, right?00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:35.119


It's not appropriate for children.00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:36.159


You hear that every year.00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:37.280


Yeah, I feel.00:45:37.599 --> 00:45:41.679


Anyways, now it's time to get to know you with Zoeo, sponsored by Zoeyo, your neighborhood yogurt.00:45:41.840 --> 00:45:44.000


If you'd like to pick a card, answer it.00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:46.159


I just want to say I did want it to be Metallica.00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:49.119


It's Kingstar's card.00:45:49.199 --> 00:45:51.440


This might be a little this might be a little spicy for him.00:45:51.519 --> 00:45:52.159


We'll see.00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:54.159


Oh, it might be, yes.00:45:54.400 --> 00:45:57.679


Okay, if it's something that I've it says, have you been to a sex club?00:45:57.840 --> 00:45:58.480


Tell us about it.00:45:58.559 --> 00:46:00.159


I have never came close to a sex club.00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:01.199


Strip club, never been.00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:01.679


Really?00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:03.599


You've been never been to a strip club either.00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:04.159


No.00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:06.800


Why am I gonna pay to see boobs?00:46:06.960 --> 00:46:07.760


I don't get it.00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:09.360


I don't really understand.00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:11.519


I don't see like the male attraction to it.00:46:11.599 --> 00:46:15.039


Like, even I've been to two of my friends' bachelor parties and we didn't go either.00:46:15.119 --> 00:46:22.000


And I was just, I don't see me wasting money for somebody that does not care about me.00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:22.880


It's kind of true.00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:37.760


If you were somewhere where it was culturally, like if you were like in Amsterdam or I mean places in Germany, even there's these like black door clubs or black room clubs or whatever they call them, would you go if it was like a cult like a cultural experience?00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:39.840


No, like if you were dating someone, no, ma'am.00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:48.320


No, because I do think that's definitely if you are dating somebody and you go to a strip club for like your friend's bachelor or whatever, I definitely think that's cheating.00:46:48.400 --> 00:46:54.559


Because if my if my fiance had like male strippers that are bachelor at party, I'd be like, but like why?00:46:54.800 --> 00:46:56.159


It'd be a little interesting.00:46:56.480 --> 00:46:56.559


Yeah.00:46:56.719 --> 00:47:01.119


So question for you Do you think watching porn when you're in a relationship is considered cheating?00:47:01.440 --> 00:47:02.559


Yeah, it's a tough one.00:47:02.800 --> 00:47:06.880


Um I don't know.00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:16.960


I truly I don't know because I see both sides so clearly, and it's one of those things to where I get it, it's not that person.00:47:17.440 --> 00:47:23.440


Um you don't know the person, but it's the same thing of the thing of like, well, we're in a relationship.00:47:23.519 --> 00:47:29.920


This is supposed to be something shared through us, and you're doing it with yourself watching somebody else do it.00:47:31.360 --> 00:47:32.239


That's a hard one.00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:33.440


One last question.00:47:33.599 --> 00:47:36.960


Do you have a crazy or unique talent that not many people know about?00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:39.360


So you write poetry, right?00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:40.320


I do write poetry.00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:45.039


Getting broken up within less than six months, uh that's a good one.00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:51.199


Um, I would say living very random lives.00:47:51.360 --> 00:48:08.880


I know that's not a like a thing, but like when say a girl, I go on a date and they really do actually get to know me, and they're just like every single time they're like, You've lived a hundred lives, 90-day fiance, professional athlete friends, you know, award-winning poetry, carpentry, um, how much you love your family.00:48:08.960 --> 00:48:10.559


Like, you don't see all this in one.00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:14.880


And then I'm like, Well, I'll expect you to not reply in one week, because that's what always happens.00:48:15.119 --> 00:48:18.639


But uh, like, I'm like, tell me how great I am, and I won't talk to you anymore.00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:19.440


Not me, them.00:48:19.519 --> 00:48:20.960


They'll just still, no, this is too good.00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:21.440


See ya.00:48:21.760 --> 00:48:24.159


You do seem very genuine and sincere and honest.00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:34.400


And we were just talking with another female guest, how she's like, the most manly thing to me is when a man can be vulnerable and open up with his emotions, which it seems like you can do that, you have no problem doing that.00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:35.519


Like an anomaly.00:48:35.840 --> 00:48:37.599


Yeah, I would say thank you.00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:43.840


Um, I would say like that's one of my biggest regrets was I know the last lie I told.00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:51.280


And it was on the phone call with my ex uh when she was breaking up with me, is she knew that the place I was in wasn't good.00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:55.280


And I was like reassuring her that if you're not happy here, like I don't want you here.00:48:55.440 --> 00:49:01.920


Like if someone doesn't want to be in my life and has gotten to know me well enough to know who I can be, it's just not me at the time.00:49:02.079 --> 00:49:02.960


They don't need to be here.00:49:03.199 --> 00:49:04.159


Did you say she moved on?00:49:04.239 --> 00:49:05.039


Is she married now?00:49:05.280 --> 00:49:06.079


No, that was my first ever.00:49:06.239 --> 00:49:06.480


Oh, okay.00:49:06.559 --> 00:49:07.679


So they might school.00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:10.480


So your chapter might not be closed or finished.00:49:10.719 --> 00:49:11.440


Moving on.00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:12.480


I don't know.00:49:12.719 --> 00:49:14.960


So uh, no, sorry, that sounded so rude.00:49:15.039 --> 00:49:16.239


I did not mean that to be rude.00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:20.159


Um, no, Lord knows what had's gonna happen in the future.00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:30.559


But um the lie I told was she was like, I need you to be okay because she knew what she was doing was going to hurt me, but I don't think she knew how bad, which is fine.00:49:30.719 --> 00:49:36.239


Um, and I told her that I was like, no, I go, I want you to make your decision and everything will be fine.00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:37.280


I'll be fine, I promise.00:49:37.360 --> 00:49:40.320


And that was the last lie I told because I knew I wouldn't I wasn't gonna be okay.00:49:40.639 --> 00:49:42.880


Yeah, like everything happens for a reason.00:49:42.960 --> 00:49:43.679


I'm not from believing.00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:44.639


And it is hard.00:49:44.719 --> 00:49:48.719


I have a friend who she's uh has type one bipolar.00:49:48.800 --> 00:49:51.599


Yeah, and she it's this it's always the same thing.00:49:51.679 --> 00:49:52.880


No, I'm fine, everything's fine.00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:56.079


And it's like, I know that that is not true.00:49:56.239 --> 00:50:04.000


And so that's that's a hard, that's a hard truth sometimes, I feel like, for people to admit.00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:05.360


Do you have any other questions?00:50:05.599 --> 00:50:05.920


I don't.00:50:06.079 --> 00:50:06.960


Do you have any other questions?00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:08.559


Anything else you want to say?00:50:08.800 --> 00:50:12.320


Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market, and thank you so much, Justin.00:50:12.400 --> 00:50:21.360


If you want to snag Justin for a date, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast, and thank you to our sponsor, Arizona Tactical Tax Strategies.00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:25.280


If you want to keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies.00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:27.199


See you next week at the Meat Market.00:50:28.159 --> 00:50:31.039


Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.00:50:31.119 --> 00:50:33.199


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:38.239


So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:40.880


His wife just reached out to me.