Stalkers, Exes, and Capturing Love Through a Lens
Modern dating isn’t one-size-fits-all—and where you live can shape your experience more than you might think. In our latest episode, we sat down with Shelby, a Midwest native who’s dated in both small towns and big cities. Her insights offer a fresh look at how location influences everything from reputation to communication in relationships.
Growing up in a small town, Shelby learned early on that everyone knows everyone. “In a small town, reputation is everything,” she explained. “If somebody does you wrong, it’s going to get around.” That sense of accountability makes people more cautious, sometimes more respectful, simply because word travels fast. Compare that to a big city, where, as Shelby puts it, “If you do somebody wrong, you can kind of run away and disappear.” It’s a different energy—faster-paced, more anonymous, and sometimes more disposable.
One of the most important takeaways from our conversation was about communication. Shelby opened up about her own marriage, which ended in part due to a lack of it. “I didn’t know how to communicate, and I was at this place where I felt I couldn’t talk about how I was growing.” That level of honesty hit home. We all know relationships take work, but sometimes, the missing piece isn’t love—it’s simply not knowing how to say what we need.
We also talked about whether relationships should feel like work. While we agreed that long-term love requires effort, there’s a difference between commitment and forcing something that’s not meant to be. Shelby put it plainly: “Things shouldn’t feel like they have to be forced.” It’s a reminder that ease and flow matter, especially in the beginning.
One of the more eye-opening moments came when we asked how she knows if someone is truly “her person.” Shelby said, “I can always tell right away how deep I want to get into letting the person know what I need from them or what my expectations are.” That kind of self-awareness is powerful. It’s about trusting your instincts and recognizing who feels safe to open up to—and who doesn’t.
We also took a nostalgic detour into how beauty standards have changed over the years. Remember when tanning beds were the go-to? Now it’s all about sunscreen and embracing natural skin. The rise of the “dad bod” and shifting trends in what’s considered attractive reveal just how much culture shapes dating—and how quickly it evolves.
From swiping on dating apps to navigating life after divorce, Shelby brought a realness to every part of the conversation. Her journey as a photographer gave her a unique view into connection too—capturing the quiet, unposed moments of love that often say more than words ever could.
Whether you're in a town with one stoplight or a city that never sleeps, this episode is for anyone trying to find their footing in the world of modern dating. Shelby’s story reminds us that no matter where you are, authenticity, communication, and self-awareness are what really matter.
