If You Can’t Plan, You Shouldn't Date 😉

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Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

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So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

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His wife just reached out to me.

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Welcome to the meat market.

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The single scene is a slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Lindsay.

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I'm Jess.

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And today's sizzling single is Kayla.

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Welcome.

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Hello.

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Thank you for having me.

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So you love to travel.

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Is it true that when you're dating, travel is a make or break it?

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Can a guy the style travel styles can that break a relationship?

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Yes.

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In fact, I did date a guy who had never been on an airplane before, and it was really hard.

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How old was he?

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35.

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Yes.

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Which, yeah.

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Where was he from?

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He's here, from here, the West.

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And born and raised.

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Oh, that's a good idea.

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And he did he did grow up kind of similar background.

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I grew up, you know, poor just like he did, but in Ohio.

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And so I I'm very empathetic and I felt for that.

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So I knew I knew that's why he didn't ever travel.

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So it's not because he had a fear.

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Well, he did too, also have a fear.

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So I was like, this you need to get on an airplane.

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Like every Christmas, I go to Ohio and visit my family.

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I'm going to expect, you know, as we get more serious, you need to come meet my family in Ohio.

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I want you to be there.

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And he was kind of reluctant and said he would at some point, but that was definitely one of the reasons why we broke up.

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So he never got on a flight with you?

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No.

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Do you know if he has sense?

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I don't think he has.

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No.

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Yeah, I know.

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Some people, I mean, I do I do feel bad.

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Some people just really don't get out of their hometown.

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I I don't think he's even really been out of state too much either.

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I mean, it's crazy.

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It is crazy to me how some people won't leave the country.

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And they say, well, why would I leave the country when I haven't seen my own country yet?

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So you want to see every state before you venture out?

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That's crazy to me.

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Yeah, that is.

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I mean, I haven't been to many countries either, but I mean, I love traveling.

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I mean, I I will do a road trip.

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You can make road trips really affordable too.

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I mean, he had a broken down truck.

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I was like, it's okay, you know, we can we can still make it work.

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So I have a little dinky Honda Civic.

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I make it work.

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So is that the reason you broke up?

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Because the whole travel thing?

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Many reasons, but yeah, it's just we couldn't align.

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And, you know, him being on the west side, you know, my friends are like the abs, like, you know, 45 minutes away.

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I didn't want to drive in that traffic.

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I mean, you're risking your life out here every day.

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It's probably more dangerous to drive that 45-minute commute than it is to get on an airplane and fly in Ohio.

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No, seriously.

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Arizona drivers are insane.

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So um, yeah.

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Have you ever dated a guy that you traveled with and your travel styles just didn't vibe?

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Like they wanted, you know, uh a curriculum or what do you call it?

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Itinerary or they want an itinerary, wake up at six o'clock, do this at seven, this eight.

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Actually, I'm more like that.

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So Are you really?

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But yeah, I've dated guys who they want to, they want to sleep in the whole time.

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They want to go on only exclusively like beach vacations, vacations for relaxing, which I do understand that.

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But um, you know, if I want to go to a bucket list destination, I want to see all the things.

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I want to get up early.

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Some of the hiking things that I do, you have to wake up at four in the morning and you're on top of a mountain, you know, for sun sunrise.

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You just have to do those things.

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So he wanted to sleep in the whole time and just not do anything and just drink on the beach all day.

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And I'm not that kind of travel person.

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I feel like one day of like sleeping in and like lounging on the beach all day is good.

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Depends it depends on how long the vacation is.

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But exactly if it's like just like a long weekend, you only have like three days.

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Yeah.

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One day, and then you you do, you have to like get out and do something.

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Yeah.

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Or if I was on a honeymoon or something, you know, you can relax something like that.

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But I guess there's different vacations.

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Like you can go on a historical vacation where you go to Europe and you want to see everything, get up early and cram everything in.

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But then if you go to the Maldives, you know, that's a vacation where you do just want to relax, you know.

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Yeah, it's a time and a place I feel for everything.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Yeah.

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So where are you from?

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Ohio.

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Originally.

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Did you grow up there?

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Long, long story.

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I was born in Flagstaff, actually.

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But my mom and dad, you know, they just had a couple one night stands when they, you know, and and she got pregnant immediately, and then um, they just were never together.

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And she moved away a couple times and um started dating my stepdad in the Air Force.

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So we moved a lot.

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Uh, we lived in Washington, Idaho, California a lot when I was younger.

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But when I was 11, um, they decided let's go to Ohio where my stepdad was from, and you know, we'll start a new life there.

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I don't know.

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Yeah, Ohio's not that great, but I wouldn't have chose that.

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But I was 11 and then they're like, Do you want to go to Ohio?

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I'm like, Yeah, because what?

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And so when did you move here to Arizona?

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Seven years ago.

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Okay.

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Exactly in October.

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So did you date in Ohio?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, in college.

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How is it different?

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Well, I don't know.

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In your 20s, dating's a lot different.

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You know, now I'm about to be 35.

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Um, I don't know.

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I dated a lot of people in college, and I was always attracted to the nerdy kind of guys.

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So it wasn't that crazy.

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I had a lot of long-term relationships, but I had a boyfriend in college who had a two-year-old, and by the time we broke up, he had a five-year-old, and that was just really hard on us, especially being so young.

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Um, so I don't know.

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And then I was dating uh my ex that I moved out here with, he's from Ohio as well.

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And, you know, my dad kept wanting me to come move out to Phoenix, and I didn't really know him very much because I only met him 10 years ago.

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So he said, come move out here.

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And my boyfriend at the time was like, I'm gonna look for jobs in Arizona.

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I'm like, whatever, no, you're not.

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And he found a job in Arizona and was like, you know, I could make twice as much out there.

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Like, we need to go out there.

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And my dad offered me a job here too, making a lot more money.

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So we we made the move across country, both of us from Ohio, leaving our family and just knowing my dad.

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He didn't know anyone, and I just knew my dad, and that's it.

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And when did you and your ex break up?

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Uh 2022.

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So three years.

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Is he still here?

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He is, yeah.

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I don't hear much about him, but yeah, he's he's still here.

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He loves it.

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So there's a ton of people here from the Midwest, because I'm also from the Midwest, and it's just like there's so many people here.

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If you meet a guy and he tells you that he's originally from Ohio, is that a green flag or a red flag?

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It kind of is a green flag.

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I actually, when people say they're originally from Arizona, I kind of like, uh, especially if you went to ASU, I'm like, I don't know.

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I know.

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I'm I don't want to be judgmental, but I'm like, oh, okay.

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Um it's a party school, it's a little bit of a red flag.

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I know, I know.

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Um, but yeah, if someone says they're from the Midwest, I think that's a green flag for sure.

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Midwest people are a lot more real and kind and good-hearted.

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Good people, good.

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Good people.

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Good-hearted is a good way to put it.

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There are some bad ones though.

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I've met some really shitty people that are from the Midwest, so it's not a hundred percent of the time, but I do feel like it's a it's a stereotype for a reason.

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Yeah.

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Have you dated many Scottsdale men?

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Um, so I just got back on the apps, uh, but I was meeting people organically, and I've I've dated a few.

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Um, I even was on that Raya app for a while.

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I would not recommend that.

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Really?

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Why?

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Well, for me, I do think there's a lot more superficial people on there.

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So I don't know if you know much about it, but you know, for women, I think they just kind of you have to be approved, referred.

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And for women, it's more if someone refers you.

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I don't know.

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I think just if they think you're pretty, you know, you get on.

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But for men, you have to have either a prestigious job, make a lot of money, look really good, maybe you're a model, an athlete.

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So a lot of social media following.

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Yeah, like exactly something prestigious.

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And so uh the men on there, you know, again, not trying to be judgmental, but they typically are are pretty, you know, entitled, and and you can't trust a lot of them.

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And um, I was dating a baseball player off there, just minor leagues um from Canada, and I was like, oh, Canada, he's probably so sweet, but I was definitely wrong about that.

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Oh no, what did he turn out to be?

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Well, my mistake was you know, women should always check the social media following.

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Um, and I didn't check that before.

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I don't know why.

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And it was just tons of, you know, just models on there and just girls, you know, that he doesn't even know and talk to, just thousands of them.

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And then he was following them.

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He was following them, yeah.

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They weren't even following him, you know.

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I knew he didn't even know them.

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And, you know, so when you look at that, you're just kind of like, you know, this is what you use Instagram for, you know, I use Instagram for hiking and learning, and I don't really, you know, use it as much for thirst traps, but you know, we all do it.

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So that was one of the red flags, and then it just kept spiraling from there.

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I saw that he was texting different people and things like that.

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Yeah, but I thought he was really sweet at first because Canadians usually are.

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Right.

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So that that was a toss.

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And then um other Scottsdale guys, hmm.

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I don't know.

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Recently I've I've gone on a couple dates with some and it hasn't been that bad.

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Um, I don't think I've ghosted anyone and they haven't ghosted me.

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It just kind of fizzled.

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We realize, yeah, we're not.

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And recently I did tell someone, you know, hey, I don't, I don't think we're gonna be a match, you know.

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I don't, I don't really want to meet up on Thursday, which I've never done before.

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I just said, I don't, I no longer want to meet up.

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And he kept saying, why, why?

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And then he kept prying.

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So I just said, I feel like I'm texting a boy.

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I don't, and he got really mad.

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Yeah, he was just way too mature.

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At least you're honest though, and you're not wasting anyone's time.

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Yeah, it's hard because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but but better to have him do that in the chat versus do it in the person.

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Imagine being on the date and telling him something that he doesn't like.

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Yeah, and I've learned a lot of men have anger problems, like they just do not like the rejection, you know.

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I think that's a sign of maturity if a man can just kind of take the rejection a little bit and handle it in a mature way.

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Um, I've had a lot of men who, you know, as soon as they have a sign of rejection, they just flip.

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You know, they start calling you names.

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Oh, you weren't even that hot anyway.

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You're like, okay.

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That's when their true colors come out.

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Yeah.

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And it makes you feel better about your decision, like dodged a bullet.

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Exactly.

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Yeah.

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I I started talking to this guy um who had moved from another state two months ago, and he already was just, you know, terrorizing the Arcadia area, you know, all these girls on the, have you ever heard of the T app and the Facebook groups and everything?

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Which, you know, it's not to say that all of that is true.

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Maybe a woman could go on there and say something if she's mad at a guy and lie.

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But if all these women are saying the same things, you know, oh, he just invited me over for a nap to sleep together, or you know, true story, or you know, all these things, they're all saying the similar things, and then I had the same experience with a guy.

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It's like, okay, like everybody, you know, is having the same experience.

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And he had only been in Phoenix for two months, and I had already seen all these girls that were just, you know, telling their stories about him.

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Were you so and were you still planning on going on a date with him at this point?

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Or were you still talking to him?

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So this was a weird one because I'm a planner, um, but it was, you know, a holiday weekend, and my dad was throwing a pool party, and I just, you know, asked him, you know, we were texting back and forth or, you know, DMing on Instagram, and I was like, Do you just want to come to this party?

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None of my friends were going.

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And I was like, he kind of just seems like a really cool guy.

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And so I invited him and we had a really good time.

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But then after that, um, he kept wanting to meet up and I said, Yeah, let's plan something, let's plan something.

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And he just wouldn't plan anything.

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And then later I found out that he just wanted to hang out during the week.

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And he said, eventually he said, weekends are for friends.

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And I said such a red flag.

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That is such a red flag.

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And then he kind of made me feel bad, you know, but I knew he was just being manipulative and said, Well, you know, I promised myself when I moved here that I would reserve weekends for friends because I want to make sure I have connections.

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Oh my god.

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And I was like, Well, we can be friends, you know, like let's go, you know, do some photography.

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And, you know, the things that he wanted to do.

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I was like, we could go do that on the weekend.

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He said, no, no.

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And then he would text me at two or three in the morning on the weekend.

00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:21.200
So, so right then and there, you know, we had never hung out again.

00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:24.000
I just told him, Hey, I'm no longer interested.

00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:25.919
And he flipped a switch.

00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:26.399
Yeah.

00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:26.879
Wow.

00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:28.799
So who posted him online?

00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:32.000
Was it like a wife, a girlfriend, someone else?

00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:34.320
I think it was just girls, probably on hinge.

00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:37.279
I never, I actually wasn't even on hinge at this point.

00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.519
Um, but it's anonymous.

00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:40.799
I don't know if you've ever gone.

00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:41.279
Yeah.

00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:41.600
Yeah.

00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:42.960
You can post anonymously.

00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:43.840
So all the girls.

00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:48.879
Sometimes they're like in the comments, you'll see like this is his wife who's posting.

00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:49.600
You know what I mean?

00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:53.679
And so then and then so then sometimes, sometimes if it's really scandalous.

00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:55.360
What are his initials?

00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:00.000
No.

00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.240
Men are already on that.

00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:06.639
They they have little, you know, girlfriends and everything trying to screenshot things.

00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:10.159
And did you have a male guest that said he was on one of those?

00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:11.919
How did you get on?

00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:17.120
Yeah, they create fake profiles to uh and to get accepted into the groups.

00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:25.039
And you know, I do feel for men dating right now too, because it is hard, and I would fear that I would be on there for the wrong reasons.

00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:31.519
You know, you make a girl mad about something and they start telling lies, and that can really affect you.

00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:35.919
But I mean it's anonymous and hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned.

00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:36.320
It's true.

00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:37.840
Women can be crazy.

00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:40.799
Like if women get rejected, they can go just as crazy as them.

00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:41.600
Exactly.

00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:44.159
And they they want to F it up for him and his future.

00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:45.519
Exactly.

00:14:45.759 --> 00:14:51.360
But like I said, you can totally tell the women that are actually, you know, telling the truth.

00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:58.240
And if they're all saying the same thing and having the same experiences, then obviously this is the type of guy he is.

00:14:58.480 --> 00:14:58.720
Yeah.

00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:02.399
So yeah, I try to go on there now and just read.

00:15:02.559 --> 00:15:08.000
You know, I don't post anything, I just read and see like who says something about this guy.

00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:11.039
Um, you know, you ever search for a guy that you're talking to?

00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:18.799
Yeah, but there were a couple, you know, bland names like uh, you know, Ryan, and then like a million mic or something.

00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:21.360
Or even my dad, he's like, you know, my dad's name is Dave.

00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:22.480
He's like, Am I on there?

00:15:23.039 --> 00:15:24.080
I was like, I don't know.

00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:25.600
That would be so hard to find you.

00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:27.200
Like he's like, show me, show me.

00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:33.759
So we, you know, at dinner, I'm trying to like look up a Dave in Arcadia, and he's like, I, you know, we can't find him.

00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:37.440
So it was it's only men who have like different kinds of names, I think.

00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:37.919
I don't know.

00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:39.120
Is your dad's single?

00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:40.480
Yeah, and he's dating.

00:15:40.559 --> 00:15:42.240
Yeah, and he's what is your dad doing?

00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:44.720
Don't worry that he's more wild than I am.

00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:46.080
He is crazy.

00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:48.879
He he will text me on the weekend, you know.

00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:52.639
I'm at Patty's, I'm like, you know, on a I'm a Friday night.

00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:54.480
I already have my hair mask and everything.

00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:55.679
And he's like, come out.

00:15:55.759 --> 00:15:56.960
And I'm like, no, I'm fine.

00:15:57.360 --> 00:15:58.960
Oh my god, yeah, dad's getting into some shit.

00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:00.159
Yeah, dad's in the street.

00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:03.200
He's super extroverted.

00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:04.879
His whole house is just party house.

00:16:05.039 --> 00:16:06.080
He has a disco on.

00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:08.159
I'm more discount.

00:16:09.679 --> 00:16:11.440
We shouldn't have your dad come on with you.

00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:14.720
He let him back on.

00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:19.120
So yeah, he throws some crazy parties, yeah.

00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:21.759
But I'm a little more reserved, so yeah.

00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.399
So are you looking to get married, have kids?

00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:26.240
Uh, I definitely want to get married.

00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:30.639
I think that's an ultimate commitment, even though I've heard horror stories.

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:32.720
I don't know about children anymore.

00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:40.799
I I wanted to have kids when I was younger, uh, but I'm the oldest sister, and I feel like I've taken care of my brother and sister.

00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:45.840
I feel like I still have to kind of take care of my family a little bit, and I don't know.

00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:50.000
And these in this economy and this expensive.

00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:52.159
It's just it's crazy.

00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:58.799
And and now I feel like I've become, you know, this travel uh just selfish a little bit.

00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:00.080
So I'm like, I love it.

00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:02.720
Going back to the travel, do you travel alone?

00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:05.039
Only a couple times.

00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:07.200
I really, I really don't.

00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:17.039
Um, I just I envy, I have a few friends, you know, who do that, and I I think it's super cool, but it's just so unsafe to me.

00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:21.440
I feel like I've gone to a couple of road trips, you know, to Vegas.

00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:26.079
Um, you know, I went to Oatman where there's like the donkeys everywhere.

00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:27.839
Yeah, I went there by myself.

00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:28.400
Yeah.

00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:36.400
And then I try not to post, you know, in real time where I am, you know, like I'm on my way here.

00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:41.680
Because I've I've had some guys tell me, hey, you know, were you just at Paiesowa Peak?

00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:46.000
And I'm like, I was, you know, like they knew I was there, just creepy stuff.

00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.359
So you never know.

00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:55.680
You hear about all those stories of people getting, you know, shot at campsites, or I just I'm not comfortable traveling alone.

00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:59.839
Have you ever had a romance where you met someone while you were traveling?

00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:00.720
Hmm.

00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:02.960
No.

00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:03.359
No.

00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:07.279
Have you had someone traveling and travel bang?

00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:07.759
Have I?

00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:10.079
Traveling.

00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:10.960
Yes, I have.

00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:12.319
You have like a travel fling?

00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:12.640
Yeah.

00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:13.839
I have the travel flings.

00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:14.240
Yeah.

00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:14.720
Yeah.

00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:15.440
Oh yeah.

00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:25.759
I guess like flirting here and there, and just kind of, you know, my friend and I went to Turks and Caicos, and we kind of, you know, my dad said, do not talk to the staff, and we're like, we won't, we won't.

00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.119
And they're just very friendly.

00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:29.039
And but you know the game.

00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:36.160
They they work there and they know a new group of girls, you know, bachelorette parties are coming in every five days.

00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:37.279
They got a new group of girls.

00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:39.440
So you just wonder what's really going on.

00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:39.920
Yeah.

00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:41.599
I love the Texas K coast.

00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:42.000
Yeah.

00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:43.119
Beaches are beautiful.

00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:44.160
Yeah.

00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.599
So you're on real estate?

00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:47.839
What brokerage are you with?

00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.839
So it's not typical real estate.

00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:52.160
I do real estate with my dad, but it's more investing.

00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:54.880
Oh, yeah, as a nation, and he's teaching me.

00:18:55.119 --> 00:19:03.279
I don't share too much usually just because, you know, if I teach people what I do, then they could become our competition.

00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:04.559
Oh, that makes sense.

00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:04.880
Yeah.

00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:07.759
So it's mostly something that just my dad and I do.

00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:12.000
And then um eventually, you know, I'll take over the business.

00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:14.000
So yeah, it's going pretty well.

00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:14.480
Yeah.

00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:14.799
Yeah.

00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:16.720
So I don't have my real estate license or anything.

00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:17.119
No.

00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:17.839
Mm-hmm.

00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:20.960
And um, have you ever been on cra any crazy dates here?

00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:24.000
Have you ever been catfished or what's the worst that you've been on?

00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:36.079
I haven't been exactly catfished, but I do know what it's like to see someone's pictures and then you meet them in person and you're like, you do not look anything like that.

00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:39.839
Which I know that typically happens to guys, but that's happened to me a few times.

00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:43.279
I'm like, okay, you you were they just posted really old pictures.

00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:44.720
So I think so.

00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:47.279
I think men, that's I think men do that more.

00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:50.640
Men post older pictures and women post filtered.

00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:51.200
Filtered.

00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:51.920
Yes.

00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:52.240
Yeah.

00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:56.640
And so it's like they we both do it, but in sort of a different way.

00:19:56.799 --> 00:19:56.960
Yeah.

00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:57.519
That's true.

00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:05.119
And men, a lot of men on these apps will put group photos as they're and we're like, I don't know which one you are.

00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:07.759
So then you kind of have to, you know, hopefully they put more photos.

00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:12.000
No like emojis or something.

00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:12.240
No.

00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:13.039
Stupid.

00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:17.200
There's a couple profiles I went over that there's no solo picture.

00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:23.279
He is with someone in every single one, or he's with a girl that looks his age, so I know it's not his mom or anything.

00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:24.880
And I'm like, okay.

00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:30.799
And then they post monogamy, and I'm like, okay, like who is this girl in your photo?

00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:32.720
Like, don't even try to crop her out.

00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:33.119
Yeah.

00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:36.079
I'm like, okay, you know, I don't know.

00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:38.319
There's a lot of filtering going on.

00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:39.039
Interesting.

00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:40.960
Have you ever walked out midday?

00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:43.680
No, I could never do that to someone.

00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.759
I've definitely felt that way before, though.

00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:46.559
I'm like, ooh.

00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:47.519
I'm the same.

00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:52.319
I could never, but we have a lot of guests, a lot of women that do they just say they go to the restroom, leave, and block the door.

00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:54.799
I could never do that so bad.

00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:56.240
I could never do that.

00:20:56.480 --> 00:20:56.720
No.

00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:57.359
No.

00:20:57.519 --> 00:20:59.119
So do you just eat really fast?

00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:02.559
It really hasn't happened that many times.

00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:04.799
I feel like I get to know people really well.

00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:05.599
And I don't know.

00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:06.799
I usually have a good time.

00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:10.160
Or at least I leave knowing that maybe we could be friends.

00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:15.759
I've had a lot of civil, you know, we kind of had a good date, but it just fizzled.

00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:17.119
Like wasn't romantic.

00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:17.519
Yeah.

00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:21.279
Or we thought it was going somewhere we both really enjoyed our time.

00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:24.000
You know, I had a lot to talk about, they had a lot to talk about.

00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:31.519
But there's a lot of men out there who don't ask you questions and try to get to know you, and that's extremely frustrating.

00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:32.400
So rude.

00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:33.279
We get that all the time.

00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:35.200
Women say they just don't ask questions.

00:21:35.599 --> 00:21:36.720
Like, how do you get to know someone?

00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:40.400
How do you know if you want to go on a second date with someone if you don't if you're not asking questions?

00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:42.720
But then also, how do you get through the date?

00:21:42.960 --> 00:21:44.160
They talk about themselves the whole time.

00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:46.559
Yeah, they just talk about themselves the entire time.

00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:47.039
Oh.

00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:50.640
Do you really want to date a guy continuously that only talks about himself?

00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:58.720
Which isn't always the worst because then I get more of an assessment of them because they're talking so much, I'm kind of like evaluating it.

00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:02.720
But then I don't know if we're gonna be a good match because I don't know if they like my personality.

00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:04.559
But it screams narcissism to me.

00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:04.880
Yeah.

00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:09.680
It screams like they think so highly of themselves and they think they're so great that you want to know all this.

00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:13.200
And yeah, and it screams to me that they have no desire to really get to know you.

00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:13.759
Uh-huh.

00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:13.920
Yeah.

00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:16.079
And there's that or autism.

00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:21.519
Yeah, like they don't have the so they don't have the social cues.

00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:30.000
Like they don't understand an engaging conversation that in order to have an engaging conversation with someone, you have to ask questions back to them.

00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:34.799
I mean, like I said, I'm a very empathetic person and I do give people the benefit of the doubt.

00:22:34.880 --> 00:22:36.480
And I do go for nerds a lot.

00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:43.039
So that's not always, you know, the worst thing at first, but I kind of, it's all the pieces together.

00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:45.119
I'm like, okay, I remember this about him.

00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.480
Okay, he talks about himself.

00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:47.119
He does this.

00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:50.079
I'm kind of like, okay, this isn't gonna be a good match.

00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:54.079
Or I'm running into the problem, men are really niche.

00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:57.039
And I am a very well-rounded person.

00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:58.720
I like to do so many different things.

00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:02.559
Like sometimes on the weekends, I'm going to bars, getting wild with my friends.

00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:05.519
Other times I'm, you know, have a whole sober weekend.

00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:09.680
I'm riding my bike and working out, or another weekend I'm traveling.

00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:14.319
And, you know, it seems like a lot of men are just either either or.

00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:18.960
And um though there was this one guy, he loved camping.

00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:20.079
And I was like, this is great.

00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:21.359
I love camping too.

00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:28.880
And he just seemed super cool, not into the whole social media thing, wasn't wrapped up into any of that bad behavior.

00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:35.359
But then I realized he wanted to go camping every single weekend, every single weekend.

00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:36.400
Oh, that would get old.

00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:37.920
And I was like, How about we try this?

00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:39.519
Well, that's not really my thing.

00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:41.359
Well, how about we try this new restaurant?

00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:45.039
No, he just never wanted to go out and try anything.

00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:46.720
And I'm like, I want to get dolled up.

00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:47.440
I want to dress up.

00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:50.559
I don't want to be camping and be dirty all the time.

00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:51.680
Yeah.

00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:55.599
So when you count, do you tent camp or um yes?

00:23:55.839 --> 00:24:00.480
But I did, I was dating a guy who had one of those campers on top of his car.

00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:03.920
And I was like, okay, camping in a tent is for the birds now.

00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:05.920
I'm getting one of these because they are amazing.

00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:11.279
He had like a temper Pedic mattress in there, and yeah, super fancy king-sized bed.

00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:14.960
So I was like, okay, I don't want to tent camp anymore, but I still will.

00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:18.480
So you seem beautiful, smart, laid back.

00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:19.839
I love how you're versatile.

00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:21.920
What does it take for a man to land you?

00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:25.039
Like, what is what are the qualities that you're looking for?

00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:31.200
I think I don't know.

00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:52.240
I I'm looking for a masculine man, but I think, you know, a lot of men out there who tend to be masculine don't understand that masculine also means being emotionally vulnerable, and there's all these other kind of things that have to do with masculinity.

00:24:52.400 --> 00:25:04.480
And I feel like I'm getting the side where, you know, either guy's not masculine enough or he is, but he has a temper, or you know, all those toxic masculinity traits that I don't want.

00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:08.480
So I think that's we get that a lot when you want a manly man.

00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:11.519
Like that's they're very few and far between nowadays.

00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:12.400
Yeah.

00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:31.599
But but it I can't get past um the first, I don't know, this the initial dates, I guess I'm kind of I write it off a little bit if a man doesn't plan and he doesn't take initiative enough, I just start to kind of lose interest and then it fizzles.

00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:33.359
And that's what I've found lately.

00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:35.279
What are your deal breakers?

00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:43.759
Well, for now, since I don't have kids, I I am not dating anybody who has kids.

00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:51.039
Um but personality-wise, I mean, I don't know if we're gonna talk about politics.

00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:58.559
So I I do lean a little bit left, but I date conservative men all the time, and I'm totally fine with that.

00:25:58.799 --> 00:26:21.839
Um, and I'm fine with religion and I believe in a God, but I will not date a man who's wants to go to church every weekend or is just super, you know, super, super conservative, just because those aren't my values, you know, like the ultra going to church all the time, and um they're just not the same, my beliefs.

00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:23.519
And now physically watch your type.

00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:32.400
That one's a really hard one because I like the outdoor guy, but I've dated guys, you know, with a bunch of tattoos.

00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:35.440
I have dated really nerdy guys.

00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:38.000
So it's all about the personality that can change.

00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:38.559
Yeah.

00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:44.240
I mean, my my uh somebody I was dating last year, he was the quarterback for Georgetown.

00:26:44.319 --> 00:26:46.000
So and he was a total jock.

00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:47.920
And he was kind of ditzy too.

00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.240
So I I've dated it all.

00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:52.160
Yeah, I can appreciate any kind of man.

00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:54.720
So I don't know if I have a certain type exactly.

00:26:55.119 --> 00:26:56.000
And one last question.

00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:01.680
Do you have a crazy hidden talent that not many people are aware of, or something unique about you that you don't tell too many people?00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.240


I cannot think of any, actually.00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:08.480


No.00:27:08.799 --> 00:27:09.279


No worries.00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:10.240


Are you ready for it?00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:11.119


I'm ready for it.00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:14.160


The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies.00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:15.759


They help you keep more in your wallet.00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:18.240


We help you keep more in your relationship.00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:21.920


Okay, so we have a question, a listener question.00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:23.359


All right.00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:29.519


So it says the other night in bed, my partner was snoring so loud.00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:34.480


I took out my phone, recorded it, and sent it to the family group chat.00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:39.279


He hasn't spoken to me and it's been almost a week.00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:41.119


Am I in the wrong?00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:44.240


Does it say how long they've been together for?00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:44.799


No.00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:47.920


Ah it's just the family group chat.00:27:48.319 --> 00:27:49.599


I think it's lighthearted.00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:52.559


It's not like she was bitching and complaining about him, right?00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:53.759


Well, maybe not.00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:54.400


That's true.00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:57.039


She didn't say what she said in the text.00:27:57.359 --> 00:27:59.440


Or if the family group chat roasted him.00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:02.240


Yeah, I just there's I have so many questions.00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:03.599


It's hard to give advice.00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:06.319


And you know, was she speaking negatively about him?00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:08.000


I don't I think it's family.00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:10.400


She it's she was probably doing it for a joke.00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:11.119


Yeah.00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:11.680


I wouldn't.00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:18.319


But I mean, I wouldn't want somebody to record me not knowing, you know, and then sending it to a group chat.00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:18.799


Yeah.00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:23.759


I guess if she did it behind his back and didn't tell him, if she joked about him, said, Look what I sent them.00:28:23.839 --> 00:28:28.640


You were snoring so loud, I took an audio clip and sent it to my family, then that's a different story.00:28:28.799 --> 00:28:29.119


Yeah.00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:30.400


But men snore.00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:31.039


I mean, come on.00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:34.400


There's way more worse things you could.00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:34.799


Yeah.00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:40.000


And I feel like if they can't get past this, they probably should end the relationship because there's a lot more.00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:42.559


Yeah, honestly, it sounds a little boring.00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:44.000


You know?00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:45.039


What do you think?00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:45.759


I agree.00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:46.240


Yeah.00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:49.920


So another episode, another dating trend.00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:51.599


This one is a toxic dating trend.00:28:51.680 --> 00:28:53.200


Have you heard of monkey barring?00:28:53.440 --> 00:28:53.759


No.00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:55.839


This is my absolute pet peeve.00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:00.480


I know so many guys who have done so many of my exes were guilty of this, and I could not stand it.00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:07.279


So the actual definition of monkey barring is when someone can't let go of one relationship before grabbing onto the next.00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:09.359


Think of it like dangling between two monkey bars.00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:14.400


You're still gripping one hand on your current partner while already reaching out for someone new.00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:21.119


You know, when like they have to line up their next girlfriend before, and they can't leave you until they do have someone to move on to.00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:23.920


Have you had didn't your ex do that?00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:25.200


Yeah, yeah.00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:31.599


But he would continue to talk to his exes, and I think that's why it was like to keep them on.00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:32.559


Just in case.00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:33.279


Wow.00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:34.319


Such a terrible thing.00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.440


And it doesn't like it doesn't bother me when guys are friends with their exes.00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:39.759


So it that it never bothered me.00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:43.279


And then, but then after we split, I was like, oh, that's why he does that.00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:43.839


Yeah.00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:44.240


Okay.00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:47.119


You need to have some time off so you can work on yourself.00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:49.359


I I love just working on myself.00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:54.400


Like when I be in between relationships, I'm like, all right, that just means I'm gonna go to the gym more.00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:57.279


I'm gonna, you know, go get some treatments, whatever.00:29:57.440 --> 00:29:58.960


You know, I'm it's so important.00:29:59.119 --> 00:29:59.599


Yeah, read.00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:01.359


Read some books or something.00:30:01.519 --> 00:30:11.039


Because when I'm talking to someone and I'm in a relationship, I'm actually really busy and I don't have time to do some of the things that you know dating can take up a lot of your life.00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:15.119


So I I'll read a book, I'll do all the things that I wanted to do in between relationships.00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:17.279


And I feel like it kind of resets you a little bit.00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:20.640


But I think people just need to always have someone to talk to.00:30:21.279 --> 00:30:23.599


That was always a deal breaker for me and such a red flag.00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:29.599


If I was dating a guy and he did that, like I hate that quality in a person, it screams red flag to me.00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:38.160


Like I what I loved about my husband is that he was single for so long before we met and he broke up with a girl just because they weren't a good fit and he didn't have anyone to go to.00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:41.039


He just would prefer to be alone than to be with the wrong person.00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:46.319


Like it's so unattractive to me when there's a guy that's so needy, has to be in a relationship the whole time.00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:50.240


And you're you're just stringing them along and wasting their time.00:30:50.319 --> 00:30:51.839


They could meet someone else, you know?00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:52.319


Right?00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:54.160


I you don't want to lead someone on like that.00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:56.880


Yeah, so it says it's a toxic dating behavior.00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:59.119


Um, sorry, it says um it comes down.00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:00.319


Why do people do it?00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:02.240


It comes down to a fear of being alone.00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:09.119


They rely on someone else's attention and affection to feel stable and worthy instead of developing their own emotional regulation skills.00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:11.119


People monkey bar out of fear.00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:14.079


Fear of being alone, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown.00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:19.119


Even if their current relationship isn't great, they'll cling to it until there's a guaranteed next choice.00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:22.160


It feels safer than facing the free fall of a breakup.00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:25.839


Like how sad to be so miserable alone that you can't be alone.00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:27.519


You will stay with the wrong person.00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:29.839


I feel like a lot of people are like that out there right now.00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:31.039


Yeah, there is a lot of people.00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:36.720


Even if it's even if it's just like a DM or something, they they have to just be talking to someone just to entertain them.00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:37.359


Yeah.00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:48.160


I mean, there's people out of state that talk to me, you know, like I can tell they don't want to date me, but they want to just keep keep streaming along, like, oh, I'm gonna come to Arizona, you know.00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:50.559


I'm like, okay, I don't think you have good intentions.00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:50.960


Yeah.00:31:51.519 --> 00:31:57.519


You must be really miserable with yourself, or you must hate yourself a lot to be to not be able to be alone with yourself.00:31:57.920 --> 00:31:58.640


You know, yeah.00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:02.319


Now it's time for the celebrity cup where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities.00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:03.200


Do you guys know Clayton?00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:05.039


Clayton Eckhart, is that how you pronounce it?00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:05.680


He lives in town.00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:07.599


He was on The Bachelor, he was The Bachelor.00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:10.640


Oh, I'm not good with reality shows, but all my friends would know.00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:11.759


They would probably be mad at me right now.00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:15.839


So he was on The Bachelor, um, he moved here, then he was on The Perfect Match.00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:16.960


Did you see him on The Perfect Match?00:32:17.119 --> 00:32:18.000


No, I don't watch that show.00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:27.440


Anywho, so he was in this lawsuit because he I don't know if he dated her, but this girl, Laura Owens, took him to court because she claimed that she was pregnant with his twins.00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:28.319


Oh my god.00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:30.640


So she falsely claimed she was pregnant with his twins.00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:32.240


She filed a paternity suit.00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:34.799


Um he claims that they never even had sex.00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:36.880


They never ever had intercourse.00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:41.519


Um then it went to court, and the judge found it based on fabricated evidence.00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:50.160


The ultrasound was fake, the pregnancy video was fake, she lied under oath, and she was indicted on several felony charges.00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:54.480


And what's fun, and she still is pleading not she Wait, she doesn't even have twins?00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:55.680


No, nothing.00:32:56.480 --> 00:32:58.799


How could you take someone to court with no Right?00:32:58.960 --> 00:32:59.119


What?00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:02.319


So then um, because then he countersued her.00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:07.279


The judge found that she was faking everything, and I guess she has a history of doing this.00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:12.079


She's like done this in the past with other speaking bitches be crazy.00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:14.720


Yeah, that makes me feel very normal.00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:15.279


Right?00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:19.519


And can you imagine if she was on that Facebook page slamming guy, slamming Clayton eckhart?00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:23.200


He got me pregnant and doesn't want to be involved in the kids' lives.00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:25.920


So that's that's scary.00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:27.119


That can ruin someone's life.00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:28.640


It can ruin someone's rain.00:33:29.119 --> 00:33:29.839


It is deranged.00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:38.400


Like, how do you even think of doing I guess so then what would I guess you tell a lie and it goes too far and then it snowballs, and then pretty soon you have to come up with an ultrasound.00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:41.599


And then pretty soon you have to come up in, so then I guess you figure it out.00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:42.240


Yeah.00:33:42.480 --> 00:33:45.440


Well, I know that a lot of women do that to stay in a relationship.00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:49.119


They fake a pregnancy because they don't want to lose their their significant other.00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:49.759


But then what?00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:51.359


Do they fake a miscarriage?00:33:51.519 --> 00:33:58.640


Like, how does that because if they're not pregnant, you know, it's gonna I think sometimes I knew a woman once who faked a pregnancy and then she faked a miscarriage.00:33:58.720 --> 00:33:59.920


Oh wow for attention.00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:05.119


But like she wasn't even pregnant, so and they they didn't even have um sorry, they didn't even have intercourse.00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:06.880


So how could he believe her?00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:08.639


Like, is she on crack?00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:11.199


Like, how would he believe her when they didn't even have sex?00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:12.000


How could that be?00:34:12.239 --> 00:34:12.880


That's crazy.00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:14.079


That is crazy.00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:16.719


Where's your favorite place to go on a first date?00:34:16.960 --> 00:34:17.440


Hmm.00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:19.039


Well, I live in Old Town.00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:30.480


I like AZ88 and uh the Beverly, they're like little martini bars, um, but you have to be careful because you don't want to, you know, drink too many martinis and then you don't remember the date.00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:34.239


I know an AZ88 pours good martinis.00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:35.280


I mean, there's Michael.00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:41.519


Um, but I could just walk there, so that's nice.00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:47.440


Uh I yeah, I actually I feel like there's two types of women.00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:50.719


There's a lot of women who get really mad about the coffee dates.00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:53.440


Guys will be like, let's go on a coffee date for the first date.00:34:53.679 --> 00:35:00.239


And women will get so mad because they want to go on a dinner date for the first date because they think that's very, you know, like a slap in the face.00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:02.159


And I actually am the opposite.00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:08.880


I think that it would be really nice to even see if you have a connection, you know, face to face, coffee date first.00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:13.039


But then after the coffee date, I would expect you to kind of take me on a proper date.00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:33.119


And I think that's where I'm also having trouble is because a lot of men, it's almost like they get their foot foot in the door, they have this casual date with you, and then they just now they're asking you to come over to their house and watch movies or something, or they want to come over to the pool or we're barbecuing, and I'm kind of like, you know, wanting them to actually ask me on a real date.00:35:33.199 --> 00:35:38.559


But since we already had so much fun and had this casual date, they kind of think like that steps over.00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:43.679


Um, but so yeah, I I wouldn't say a dinner date for a first date.00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:44.800


I think that's a little too much.00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:52.480


Again, in this economy, you can't expect a guy to pay a hundred dollars for a first date, but I mean I want if you're not interested in him.00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:54.320


What if he's boring or talking about himself the whole time?00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:56.079


Then you're stuck in this whole elaborate dinner.00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:56.719


Exactly.00:35:56.800 --> 00:35:58.480


And I think there's a misconception right now.00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:07.760


I know there's some women who do use men for for food, for dates, I guess, but that doesn't make any sense to me because I take a really long time to get ready.00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:17.119


I'll make sure, you know, all the perfume and my hair and the hairspray makeup, my outfit, you know, that could be like a two-hour thing, you know, just for a piece of steak.00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:18.480


I'm not gonna do that.00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:20.800


I mean, I really don't think it's worth it.00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:23.760


I I don't, you know, guys are like, oh, they're just using me for dinner.00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:28.800


I I will buy my own dinner and just not get ready and just waste all that time.00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:30.159


That makes no sense to me.00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:30.400


Yeah.00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:38.000


But I know some women, you know, on a Friday night, maybe they'll ask a guy, uh, you know, let's go on a date, and then they'll go leave with their friends.00:36:38.079 --> 00:36:43.519


They're like, okay, I'm already fed, I got a drink, like everything's for free, you know, didn't get ready for nothing.00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:44.559


So I get it.00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:45.360


It is crazy to me.00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:51.920


We had a male guest on that says that it happens to him a lot, he gets used for free meals because they'll order food, won't eat it, and we'll box it up to go.00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:54.320


Like, oh, how cringe is never do that.00:36:54.559 --> 00:36:55.360


Like, how embarrassed.00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:06.400


Gosh, some people just have no dignity, no shame.00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:07.679


I could never do that.00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:08.960


I could never like you.00:37:09.039 --> 00:37:12.800


I couldn't be bothered to leave my house with someone on my I'd rather just eat at home by myself.00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:13.360


I would too.00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:14.960


I'd rather don't have something.00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:17.760


That's why this guy that I didn't I didn't want to meet him anymore.00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:21.199


We were supposed to meet on Monday, and you know, he's like, I want to take you on a date.00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:22.880


And I was like, I just don't want to waste each other's time.00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:23.920


He's like, let's just try it out.00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:25.039


I'm like, I already know.00:37:25.119 --> 00:37:26.719


It's just I don't want to waste my time.00:37:26.800 --> 00:37:27.440


I'm sorry.00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:29.760


I want to be home on a Monday night and watching TV.00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:31.760


I don't want to get all dolled up and yeah.00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:37.519


I still don't get if I was single, I would never ever go out on a date unless I FaceTimed them first.00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:37.840


Ever.00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:38.880


Like, why don't people do that?00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:40.000


Then it'll no, I know.00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:41.440


But you don't do that, right?00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:43.360


Well, I don't I don't date online.00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:47.920


So Because with all the catfishing and you never know, I would always be like, let's do a FaceTime first.00:37:48.960 --> 00:37:52.239


If I did date online, it there would have to be a FaceTime.00:37:52.559 --> 00:38:01.280


I the guy, like most recently, I was set up by a friend, and he he and my first conversation was a FaceTime call.00:38:01.519 --> 00:38:08.480


Smart because it was like, why like why would we not just FaceTime each other first?00:38:08.880 --> 00:38:15.760


Because And then you can see their mannerisms, how they speak, you know, you can just I feel like you can tell so much in a FaceTime.00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:16.400


Yeah, right.00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:21.199


So then you don't wouldn't have to bother going out with them in person if you don't really feel it over FaceTime.00:38:21.519 --> 00:38:22.320


Yeah, that's a good point.00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:24.320


I actually don't do that, and I don't know why.00:38:24.559 --> 00:38:26.880


Because I think I feel like I'm awkward on FaceTime.00:38:26.960 --> 00:38:28.000


They're like, Let's FaceTime.00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:29.760


I'm like, uh, we don't need to do that.00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:33.280


And I thought some men might think it's weird, like, why do you want a FaceTime?00:38:33.599 --> 00:38:35.039


Do you think some people might judge?00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:36.000


Maybe.00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:37.280


I don't know.00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:45.280


Like this this example, it was like literally our mutual friend gave him my number.00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:49.039


He texted me, he was said, Hey, so-and-so gave me your number.00:38:49.119 --> 00:38:52.719


She said we might, you know, uh get along or whatever.00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:55.360


He's like, Do you have time for like a quick phone call this week?00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:57.679


Yeah, whatever night this time.00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:58.639


Okay, cool.00:38:58.719 --> 00:38:59.840


I'll call you then.00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:04.559


And then it was like there was no like excess texting conversation.00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:10.079


It was just like the day that we were planning to do a FaceTime call, it was, hey, are you still available in 10 minutes?00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:12.559


Yeah, like give me a call, whatever.00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:13.920


And fine, it was fine.00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:15.360


Like, how easy is that?00:39:15.519 --> 00:39:15.679


Right?00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:16.239


So easy.00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:16.880


Like, yes.00:39:17.119 --> 00:39:23.920


So if you start texting someone for a while and then you get kind of connected, yes, and then before you've even seen their face.00:39:24.400 --> 00:39:25.360


Yeah, what a waste.00:39:25.440 --> 00:39:28.719


If exactly it's fake, it's fake intimacy.00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:29.840


I don't like doing that.00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:30.800


Yeah, it's so true.00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:32.800


Yeah, because women get attached really.00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:34.400


I get attached pretty easily too.00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:37.440


So I and I get attached by you know, words.00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:47.119


So if you're telling me all the right things and then I haven't met you yet, and then you know, I can every day saying sort of the same like reassuring, reassuring, reassuring.00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:47.760


Exactly.00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:48.559


Yeah, yeah.00:39:48.800 --> 00:39:49.199


I can see that.00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:53.039


Well now it's time to get to know you with Zoya, sponsored by Zoya, your neighborhood yogurt.00:39:53.199 --> 00:39:54.880


If you want to take the top car.00:39:56.079 --> 00:39:56.400


Oh.00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:01.679


Okay.00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:02.719


Truth.00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:05.760


What is the worst lie you have ever told?00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:08.559


You seem like such an honest person though.00:40:08.719 --> 00:40:09.920


I can't imagine that you would.00:40:10.239 --> 00:40:11.519


I actually really am.00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:14.639


Um have you ever lied to get out of a date?00:40:15.199 --> 00:40:18.559


Uh probably, but I don't really know.00:40:18.880 --> 00:40:25.280


I think, or maybe just the nice lies, you know, like when your mom is like, do, you know, do I look bad in this?00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:27.679


And you're like, no, you don't, you know.00:40:27.840 --> 00:40:28.400


I don't know.00:40:28.559 --> 00:40:33.440


I'm not that innocent, but I guess I just can't really think of like the worst lie I told.00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:42.239


I I I cannot think of something specific, but I know there's been times where I've told a little bit of a lie and like we were talking, like it just snowballs, not like that girl.00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:47.519


I didn't take a twin pregnancy.00:40:48.159 --> 00:40:49.440


Maybe I would, honestly.00:40:49.599 --> 00:40:53.760


No, I like I will snowball and just be like, oh wow, that went really far.00:40:54.000 --> 00:41:00.239


That is the worst than like you tell like a white light to get out of something and then like comes back and bites you in the arm.00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:05.039


Like you make a comment that you're like, oh shit, I just gave my stuff away.00:41:05.360 --> 00:41:20.719


Yeah, like my my friend is kind of ornery, and you know, she's made fake profiles of me, and you know, she says her name, you know, her name is Liz, so she'll put my name is Liz and her name is Kayla, or we lie about like where we work, or like on vacations, we've said stuff like that.00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:26.480


Just a whole new identity, and then they just keep asking you questions, and you just have to make up a whole new life.00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:27.920


We have done that before.00:41:28.079 --> 00:41:35.360


I remember being in Hawaii at a club, and this guy was hitting on me, and I was like, Je ne parlais anglaise, like je suis français.00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:43.760


That's like the only thing I can speak in French, and he's like, And now you have to learn French.00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:45.760


And then you're just like run off.00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:51.679


Now your weekends are just on Duolingo and you're just like I'm French now.00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:53.119


Do you have any other questions?00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:54.800


Oh, do you have any other questions?00:41:55.280 --> 00:41:55.920


Well, thank you so much.00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:56.800


Thank you so much, Kayla.00:41:56.960 --> 00:42:01.519


If you want to go on a date with Kayla, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast.00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:04.079


And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies.00:42:04.159 --> 00:42:08.320


If you want to keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies.00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:10.639


We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.00:42:11.199 --> 00:42:14.079


Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.00:42:14.159 --> 00:42:16.239


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:21.280


So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:42:21.440 --> 00:42:23.920


His wife just reached out to me.