Love in the Meet Market: A Single’s Survival Story 🚩

WEBVTT

00:00:01.300 --> 00:00:03.927
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

00:00:04.008 --> 00:00:11.070
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

00:00:11.070 --> 00:00:13.214
His wife just reached out to me.

00:00:15.621 --> 00:00:16.803
Welcome to the Meat Market.

00:00:16.803 --> 00:00:20.292
The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.

00:00:20.292 --> 00:00:21.282
We are your hosts.

00:00:21.282 --> 00:00:25.292
I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess and today's sizzling single is Cassie.

00:00:25.292 --> 00:00:27.301
Welcome, hi.

00:00:27.301 --> 00:00:30.530
So you've been engaged not once, not twice, not three times, not four times.

00:00:30.530 --> 00:00:32.146
Six times you've been engaged.

00:00:32.146 --> 00:00:36.621
I've been asked oh, you've been asked Okay, and how many times did you say yes, three.

00:00:36.923 --> 00:00:38.746
Three yeah, so you have a 50-50 chance.

00:00:41.151 --> 00:00:42.673
Yes, no there's two options.

00:00:47.841 --> 00:00:49.064
So have you walked down the aisle Once?

00:00:49.064 --> 00:00:50.726
Once okay, yeah, that took therapy.

00:00:50.726 --> 00:00:52.131
Did you keep all the rings?

00:00:52.131 --> 00:00:52.432
No, no, no, what?

00:00:52.432 --> 00:00:52.572
What's?

00:00:52.572 --> 00:00:53.954
Did you keep any of the rings?

00:00:53.954 --> 00:00:54.938
Only the one?

00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:58.557
that was that you got that you got married yeah, and he refused to take it back.

00:00:58.557 --> 00:01:05.433
So I was still gonna do like the honorable thing and give it back, but he's's like no, you, you endured enough of me.

00:01:05.552 --> 00:01:08.585
So this is your consolation prize.

00:01:08.585 --> 00:01:11.210
Yeah, diamond, yeah, he's like haunted, or?

00:01:11.251 --> 00:01:13.802
something Like he just didn't want to have any memories.

00:01:13.823 --> 00:01:16.911
So how do you say no when someone proposes?

00:01:16.911 --> 00:01:20.284
That would I, cause I'm too nice, I'd probably say yes.

00:01:22.727 --> 00:01:29.144
Honestly, I think it's just like it was this terrifying impending fear of my life being tied to theirs for so long.

00:01:29.144 --> 00:01:32.611
I was like, oh, my god, uh, we don't even like each other.

00:01:32.611 --> 00:01:36.067
Like I would just start listing all the reasons we were wrong for each other.

00:01:36.549 --> 00:01:40.661
So then yeah, that was do you regret saying no to any of them?

00:01:40.661 --> 00:01:49.534
Um one but uh, you see the one who got away he still had problems.

00:01:49.674 --> 00:02:04.734
Well, it was still not perfect, but it was like out of the three that was the most mentally stable out of them so like maybe were they all like official proposals, like got down on one knee, did the big thing um?

00:02:04.734 --> 00:02:08.181
One was in a tiffany's, so we went to tiffany's.

00:02:08.181 --> 00:02:09.365
The whole store was shut down.

00:02:09.365 --> 00:02:11.651
What, yeah, um?

00:02:11.651 --> 00:02:21.082
And you said no, this man was a severe alcoholic and mentally deranged and he already had four kids like it was just like how did it get that far, though?

00:02:21.122 --> 00:02:23.191
how did you get into the jewelry store?

00:02:23.973 --> 00:02:24.496
um, okay.

00:02:24.496 --> 00:02:29.014
So he said it was just like for mother's day and we're gonna go look for some earrings ah, so he bamboozled you.

00:02:29.014 --> 00:02:40.563
Yeah, and then we're in tiffany's and he's like we'll pick out the one you want, and I was like the earrings we're gonna, so I'm like, looking at the earrings, thinking I'm getting a pair of earrings still confused why we're in tiffany's?

00:02:40.644 --> 00:02:43.389
I'm like we could have gone anywhere else, it didn't matter.

00:02:43.389 --> 00:03:04.163
But then he's like well, no, I wanted you to pick something out from here and I'm like the engagement ring section wow, how awkward um, I was like we're not even dating, like I didn't even know we were dating, like I'm confused here.

00:03:04.163 --> 00:03:04.966
What's going?

00:03:05.086 --> 00:03:08.347
on so uh yeah so how long did your marriage last?

00:03:08.347 --> 00:03:11.235
Only a year, yeah, yeah, um.

00:03:11.235 --> 00:03:13.902
Was it you or him that wanted to go separate ways?

00:03:14.364 --> 00:03:14.784
um.

00:03:14.784 --> 00:03:16.649
So first it was him.

00:03:16.649 --> 00:03:19.361
He was like I just don't think this is gonna work and I was like, cool, fine.

00:03:19.401 --> 00:03:35.991
So I moved out the very next like week, and he freaked out afterwards because he realized, like all the things I did, um, we had two dogs, I had my little girl, but like I kind of ran the house and made sure, like you know, I did girl stuff for the house.

00:03:35.991 --> 00:03:42.370
And he's like, oh, I'm realizing how much it costs for a dog sitter, I'm realizing how much it costs to, like, get the house clean.

00:03:42.370 --> 00:03:44.222
I'm realizing all the small things you did.

00:03:44.222 --> 00:03:52.223
And I'm like, well, until you figure out, like the alcohol isn't this bad, like I, I really just don't see us being a good spot.

00:03:52.223 --> 00:03:54.920
And then he freaked out and he's like, well, then, I just don't want to do this at all.

00:03:54.920 --> 00:04:00.453
And I was like, well, okay, um, and then he sold the dog and sold the house he sold my dog.

00:04:00.961 --> 00:04:02.623
I know sold the dog.

00:04:02.623 --> 00:04:11.794
Yeah, it was a English cream golden retriever oh, yeah, yeah, those are they're cute, cutest little puppy so you're a teacher.

00:04:11.854 --> 00:04:12.777
Thank you for all you do.

00:04:12.777 --> 00:04:16.166
I know teachers work so hard and don't get paid jack, so thank you.

00:04:16.166 --> 00:04:17.088
What grade do you teach?

00:04:17.449 --> 00:04:17.649
um.

00:04:17.649 --> 00:04:30.473
So last year I got to have seniors and I had them for two years, so I had them as juniors and seniors, um, and I teach at a school where, like, athletics is a big part of it, so I had a lot of the athletes and it was really really.

00:04:30.473 --> 00:04:39.860
Honestly, I was so spoiled last year, um, next year, this coming in two weeks, I have just sophomores and it's like my least favorite grade.

00:04:39.860 --> 00:04:44.723
Why, um, honestly, sophomore slump is real, really.

00:04:44.723 --> 00:04:48.507
That is the grade statistically where most kids drop out.

00:04:48.507 --> 00:04:49.567
If you didn't know that.

00:04:49.648 --> 00:04:54.192
I did not know that 10th grade is like that breaking point and that like real life decision.

00:04:54.531 --> 00:04:57.913
It's crazy to me how parents allow kids to drop out of high school isn't it.

00:04:57.913 --> 00:05:02.218
Yeah, like my parents would have never allowed that You're living under my roof.

00:05:03.620 --> 00:05:04.062
You live by my rules.

00:05:04.062 --> 00:05:06.362
I were a teacher, I think high school would be.

00:05:06.362 --> 00:05:11.740
I wouldn't, I don't, I think that would be my least interest well, and they're so big.

00:05:11.781 --> 00:05:14.107
Nowadays, the students are huge, aren't they?

00:05:14.146 --> 00:05:18.867
they're kind of intimidating I had one who was six, five oh my gosh for the jayhawks now.

00:05:18.867 --> 00:05:24.100
Wow so like big, big old boys yeah boys, but like still kids.

00:05:24.100 --> 00:05:32.201
Like we're playing games online for like a review game and they get mad at each other because one of them got the parrot and they all wanted the parrot.

00:05:32.201 --> 00:05:42.939
And I'm like y'all are like 18 and we're fighting over a parrot, but okay, like like the body is full grown but the brain is not developed yeah, like it doesn't match, it's so that's funny.

00:05:43.261 --> 00:06:00.452
It's so like I have to remind myself like, even though we'll give a different name, johnny is, you know, six foot five and 280 pounds he still has, you know have you had any students say anything inappropriate to you?

00:06:00.473 --> 00:06:06.480
students, students, students oh bless it say anything inappropriate to you or act inappropriate?

00:06:07.543 --> 00:06:08.927
I usually shut it down pretty quickly.

00:06:08.927 --> 00:06:12.966
In the older I've gotten, like, the more scared they are, so I'll have kids that don't even want to speak to me.

00:06:12.966 --> 00:06:14.410
So I think that's pretty fun.

00:06:14.410 --> 00:06:16.502
Like I'll be like okay, well, you do need to respond.

00:06:16.502 --> 00:06:21.190
He's like okay, because I'm speechless.

00:06:21.190 --> 00:06:25.387
Yeah, no, but um, it's gotten least, it's gotten less and less.

00:06:25.387 --> 00:06:31.752
But like when I was really first starting off, like the boldness the boldness, because you're super cute.

00:06:31.853 --> 00:06:33.283
I can imagine a lot of them.

00:06:33.283 --> 00:06:37.903
Thank you, think they can, you know, be a little cheeky and naughty with you oh no, they have.

00:06:38.283 --> 00:06:42.333
And then I've said some clap backs that, thank god you put them in their place.

00:06:42.620 --> 00:06:43.423
Yeah, quick, good.

00:06:43.423 --> 00:06:45.490
Yeah, no, what about parents?

00:06:45.490 --> 00:06:46.701
Have any parents asked you out?

00:06:47.262 --> 00:06:57.442
uh, I think one did pat, like, but I didn't understand that he was because he's like well, here's my personal email, here's another like he gave me like his phone number email.

00:06:57.442 --> 00:06:59.887
I'm like he just gave me four different ways.

00:06:59.887 --> 00:07:03.060
Yes, like I was like one, four, three, what, what's going?

00:07:03.182 --> 00:07:03.302
on.

00:07:03.302 --> 00:07:09.329
This is how you reach me if you'd like to send me a smoke signal yes, and I it didn't clock.

00:07:09.930 --> 00:07:12.475
Oh, I was like man, is this kid really bad?

00:07:12.475 --> 00:07:14.062
And the kid was really really quiet.

00:07:14.062 --> 00:07:20.988
I mean he wasn't like the smartest you know, nasa wasn't gonna take him on anytime soon but he wasn't bad.

00:07:21.108 --> 00:07:31.206
So I was really confused, but I think that's the closest, yeah we had a teacher on previous and she had said that statistically teachers it's the number one profession where people cheat.

00:07:31.206 --> 00:07:32.088
Do you agree with that?

00:07:32.088 --> 00:07:34.723
Do a lot of teachers Do they intermingle.

00:07:35.024 --> 00:07:40.351
Where you teach Is there a lot of inter-staff dating and sleeping together.

00:07:41.100 --> 00:07:46.233
Well, I mean at a previous school, was uh, one affair that ended up in a marriage?

00:07:46.233 --> 00:07:55.906
Oh interesting and then um, I was seeing a co-worker at one point okay but he was a lot younger and I think I broke his brain.

00:07:55.906 --> 00:07:57.249
I think I did what's he?

00:07:57.269 --> 00:07:59.802
he was another teacher yeah, he's no longer what?

00:07:59.802 --> 00:08:01.024
No, what subject did he teach?

00:08:01.245 --> 00:08:02.067
He was a science teacher.

00:08:02.307 --> 00:08:06.194
Science teacher Ooh lots of chemistry there.

00:08:06.254 --> 00:08:07.055
Sparks are flying.

00:08:07.379 --> 00:08:13.547
Yeah, no, apparently not what would your, if you were to date a teacher, what would you prefer that his grade be?

00:08:13.547 --> 00:08:14.209
That he teach.

00:08:14.649 --> 00:08:15.050
Maybe PE.

00:08:15.050 --> 00:08:16.346
I was going to say PE.

00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:22.468
It's so funny because it just reminds me of her uncle teaches PE or he did he's retired now, but he was a PE teacher.

00:08:25.439 --> 00:08:25.540
But I.

00:08:25.560 --> 00:08:27.367
He's retired now, but he was a PE teacher but I think I would date the PE teacher also.

00:08:27.389 --> 00:08:29.778
They always seem so fun and they're typically athletic because they don't have to make lesson plans.

00:08:29.778 --> 00:08:30.882
They're like they are not.

00:08:30.882 --> 00:08:31.947
They're not grading.

00:08:32.207 --> 00:08:34.739
No, that's what I would tell her her uncle all the time.

00:08:34.739 --> 00:08:48.552
I'd be like you have the greatest life hack because it's like you are getting paid to teach but you essentially don't have to do any of the work that the teachers do but, you still get the great benefits, you get the retirement, you get all of this.

00:08:48.552 --> 00:08:58.628
And now he's retired and he has these like great retirement benefits and he never had to write a single lesson plan because he was the teacher oh no, it was so annoying.

00:08:58.687 --> 00:09:00.230
We worked at the same school for two years.

00:09:00.230 --> 00:09:08.426
I did middle school and that that is for like insane people, if you want to like, if you want to really find some people middle school teachers.

00:09:08.426 --> 00:09:20.124
He did middle school for 27 years and I'm like, geez, this is not for me like, but he would come by and just like hang out in my classroom sometimes and I'm like don't you have something?

00:09:20.163 --> 00:09:33.154
to do no papers to grade no lesson plans to write no nothing no, I'm just kind of chilling and I'm like fighting for my life in that class every two seconds.

00:09:33.154 --> 00:09:37.144
Like funny telling a kid not to make a shiv out of a plastic fork.

00:09:37.144 --> 00:09:47.504
God no, it was so funny, I was so jealous, but we do have a family of like 16 teachers, if you all didn't.

00:09:47.504 --> 00:09:48.688
Yeah, it's the family business.

00:09:49.220 --> 00:09:50.225
Isn't there a story in the news?

00:09:50.225 --> 00:09:55.191
There's a female teacher that was having inappropriate relations with one of her students.

00:09:55.191 --> 00:09:56.033
Did you hear that?

00:09:56.033 --> 00:10:00.150
And she's in court now but her husband's standing by her.

00:10:00.150 --> 00:10:06.582
But in one of the voicemails she had, the student it's like hey, we're gonna take all my husband's money.

00:10:06.582 --> 00:10:08.126
Did you hear this story in the news?

00:10:08.126 --> 00:10:14.837
And like in the voicemail she's like planning on screwing over her husband and enjoying the life of the student.

00:10:14.837 --> 00:10:17.726
And the husband heard this but he's still sticking by her.

00:10:17.726 --> 00:10:19.350
Interesting, you haven't seen that in the news.

00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:20.763
No, I have not.

00:10:20.903 --> 00:10:30.669
She must have a really good retirement right, right because you hear that all the time in the news these females you see females with male students more than you see males with females.

00:10:30.669 --> 00:10:31.071
Right.

00:10:31.792 --> 00:10:35.264
And my like, my thought process to that is like where is he going to take you?

00:10:35.264 --> 00:10:36.684
Like where are you guys going on dates?

00:10:36.684 --> 00:10:39.443
Like is mom picking you up in the minivan?

00:10:39.443 --> 00:10:39.985
Like what?

00:10:40.325 --> 00:10:41.145
Yeah, why?

00:10:41.145 --> 00:10:42.148
Yeah, that's the thing.

00:10:42.148 --> 00:10:52.145
I have a patient who client who is constantly telling me he's like I want to come on your podcast, I want to come on your podcast, I want a girlfriend.

00:10:52.145 --> 00:10:53.328
I want a girlfriend and I'm like, bro, you're 18.

00:10:53.328 --> 00:10:54.331
Like where, what are you going to do?

00:10:54.331 --> 00:10:56.761
Like you can't even take a girl out for a drink yet.

00:10:56.761 --> 00:11:02.447
Like no, I'm not setting you up on a date with somebody.

00:11:02.447 --> 00:11:05.409
You can't even take a girl out for a drink.

00:11:05.409 --> 00:11:06.991
Like no, it's not happening.

00:11:07.432 --> 00:11:12.557
It's just weird to me that these women find these kids like what's attractive.

00:11:12.557 --> 00:11:13.782
You know what I'm saying.

00:11:13.782 --> 00:11:14.845
Like don't you want a man?

00:11:14.845 --> 00:11:17.212
Yeah, it's gross, yeah, anyways.

00:11:17.212 --> 00:11:19.708
So tell us about some of the bad dates you've gone on.

00:11:19.708 --> 00:11:21.222
I've heard you've had some pretty bad ones.

00:11:22.024 --> 00:11:25.630
I mean, it's just a plethora, the latest one.

00:11:25.630 --> 00:11:31.943
So I tell my uncle, I'm like I think I'm going to do the podcast.

00:11:31.943 --> 00:11:33.089
Do you think someone will actually want me in a month?

00:11:33.089 --> 00:11:33.230
Though?

00:11:33.230 --> 00:11:34.153
Like what if I actually start dating someone?

00:11:34.153 --> 00:11:36.181
And then we both laughed at each other and he's like yeah, no.

00:11:36.181 --> 00:11:39.943
And I was like okay, my dreams were high, so I go on this date like with low.

00:11:39.943 --> 00:11:41.905
I was like this is probably not going to turn out well.

00:11:41.905 --> 00:11:52.256
Anyway, right, it may have been my mindset going into the date, but then I got to the date and he was a recovering addict, didn't know that From heroin.

00:11:52.817 --> 00:11:52.937
Oh.

00:11:52.976 --> 00:12:06.345
God so you're like already, in this situation where you're like, okay, this is going to go great, like does he even have money to pay for this date, like you're slowly traumatizing yourself and he just keeps telling me more and more.

00:12:06.345 --> 00:12:11.350
And it's getting more and more interesting Because then I find out he was a felon.

00:12:11.350 --> 00:12:15.413
He just did six years and got out a couple years ago.

00:12:15.474 --> 00:12:16.956
Yes, how did you find this out?

00:12:16.975 --> 00:12:24.663
Did he tell you yeah, but before then he was like you know, I'm a personal trainer.

00:12:24.663 --> 00:12:25.823
Now this is like I'm terrified of personal trainers.

00:12:25.823 --> 00:12:26.283
Now I'm like are you?

00:12:26.283 --> 00:12:31.889
But he's a personal trainer supposedly and he like does kayaking and some other stuff, I don't know.

00:12:31.889 --> 00:12:36.114
It sounded interesting and I was like, okay, you know, like we all have weird pasts.

00:12:36.114 --> 00:12:38.836
And you found yourself and he's around my age.

00:12:38.836 --> 00:12:45.881
So I was like this is age appropriate.

00:12:45.902 --> 00:12:48.528
So after you're almost co-worker sort of thing, who's a decade younger than you, you're like maybe I need to recalibrate.

00:12:48.528 --> 00:12:49.811
Well, then it gets a little weirder.

00:12:49.811 --> 00:12:53.866
Because he's sober and recovering, so he doesn't drink alcohol at all.

00:12:53.866 --> 00:12:56.059
So he wants to drink like non-alcoholic beer.

00:12:56.059 --> 00:13:00.268
So we have to go to a different spot after dinner to drink a non-alcoholic beer.

00:13:00.268 --> 00:13:04.936
So he gets one and I get my usual drink, a mezcal, because I'm a broken soul.

00:13:04.936 --> 00:13:08.342
And then he wants me to pay for it, and I was.

00:13:09.385 --> 00:13:12.273
I was really confused because he wanted to go get the other drink.

00:13:12.273 --> 00:13:13.884
But he's like well, mine only costs four dollars.

00:13:13.884 --> 00:13:15.006
Oh my god really.

00:13:15.006 --> 00:13:17.019
And I was like I'm sorry, I didn't know that.

00:13:17.019 --> 00:13:18.585
We were just going out to be friends.

00:13:18.585 --> 00:13:22.166
If you would have told me I would have prepared better, I apologize and he flips out on me.

00:13:22.908 --> 00:13:37.490
And so I start apologizing because I'm confused and I'm like well, I've always been taught like men that's just kind of my experience that I have is that men provide if you, if you're the one asking on the date, you are the one paying.

00:13:37.490 --> 00:13:40.225
So if you're the one asking to go here, you're going to be the one paying.

00:13:40.225 --> 00:13:43.282
So if I ask you, it means I have the intention of paying.

00:13:43.282 --> 00:13:43.602
That's.

00:13:43.602 --> 00:13:48.572
That's what kind of the family rule has always been and kind of the dynamic I've worked in, and he kind of freaked out.

00:13:49.280 --> 00:13:53.649
Well, then after that he's like we go on this loop-de-loop.

00:13:53.649 --> 00:14:05.393
I think I was gaslit, like now I realize it now, but it was confusing and then he starts trying to make out with me on the corner in Tempe and I was like I guess this is normal, so I'm like trying to be okay with it and trying to like regulate.

00:14:05.393 --> 00:14:09.331
Well, then afterwards he's like would you like to like continue to see me?

00:14:09.331 --> 00:14:13.590
I was like, I think, like I'm still confused about what, what's all happened.

00:14:13.590 --> 00:14:21.566
But then he's like, by the way, as we're driving to his place, he's like, by the way, I have five roommates.

00:14:22.748 --> 00:14:25.371
What, what?

00:14:25.371 --> 00:14:27.042
Is he still living in the halfway house?

00:14:27.335 --> 00:14:28.905
Yeah, like that was the question.

00:14:28.905 --> 00:14:32.864
No, so then I'm like, wait, do I ask if it's a halfway house?

00:14:32.864 --> 00:14:33.807
Is it not a halfway house?

00:14:33.807 --> 00:14:46.964
Like so I go in there to use the restroom and then the bar stools are on top of the cabinet and I'm like this has got to be a halfway like this is like they were in for their inspection or something.

00:14:46.964 --> 00:14:47.625
So I'm like you know what?

00:14:47.625 --> 00:14:48.427
I gotta, I gotta go.

00:14:48.427 --> 00:14:49.552
It's just not gonna now.

00:14:49.591 --> 00:14:51.878
I'm good, I'm now I'm good, so it was a house in tempe.

00:14:52.340 --> 00:14:59.124
It was a house in mesa, so I was in the middle of mesa, in the middle of nowhere so it legitimately was a halfway house I guess I I have no clue.

00:14:59.144 --> 00:15:03.278
No clue, I just got out of there as fast as I could, but at this, point.

00:15:03.318 --> 00:15:05.284
I'm like man, what?

00:15:05.284 --> 00:15:07.940
Why is this?

00:15:07.940 --> 00:15:08.778
What keeps like?

00:15:08.778 --> 00:15:09.841
What am I attracting here?

00:15:09.841 --> 00:15:11.221
What energy am I bringing out?

00:15:11.221 --> 00:15:13.841
But this is like online dating and that's why I was like you know what?

00:15:13.841 --> 00:15:14.879
We're cold turkeying this.

00:15:21.475 --> 00:15:23.217
We can't do this because I'm gonna end up with another.

00:15:23.217 --> 00:15:23.778
Are you still on the apps?

00:15:23.778 --> 00:15:24.179
Oh?

00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:24.440
hell, no, no.

00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:25.361
Did you have any good experiences at all?

00:15:25.361 --> 00:15:29.609
Um, yes, but like after three dates, he ghosted me.

00:15:29.609 --> 00:15:31.479
This was like tears and I was so sad.

00:15:31.479 --> 00:15:32.181
I was so confused.

00:15:32.181 --> 00:15:32.982
That's so rude.

00:15:32.982 --> 00:15:38.503
When people do that well, like after three dates, I'm like I would at least like to have known what was going on.

00:15:38.503 --> 00:15:39.825
You you know.

00:15:40.145 --> 00:15:43.220
At least say hey, you know I had a great time, but it's just not going to work out.

00:15:43.259 --> 00:15:46.222
Or I met someone yes, just like anything, right?

00:15:46.222 --> 00:15:49.725
So instead I'm like left with the emotional burden of having to send out a.

00:15:49.725 --> 00:15:54.865
It was great getting to know you, but I really would appreciate it if you would have told me otherwise how things would have ended.

00:15:54.865 --> 00:15:56.037
So blah, blah well you know, like?

00:15:56.037 --> 00:16:08.442
Did you say that, oh yeah, I always send my goodbye text, my best wishes, and did he respond no, you're having a nice life, but mine is like so professional, like I'm always, like I'm still hoping for your greatest good.

00:16:09.024 --> 00:16:15.765
I just would really encourage you to maybe be more forthright and like about the way you feel if you're not interested about someone.

00:16:15.765 --> 00:16:18.918
I think that's very like kind and I would really encourage you to do that.

00:16:18.918 --> 00:16:27.015
Like it's like the mom text, like it's not even mean so the fact that you can't even respond to the guilty mom text, I'm like really.

00:16:27.476 --> 00:16:28.760
I don't get why people don't do that like.

00:16:28.760 --> 00:16:38.865
It's so quick, easy, it doesn't take much to write a simple text saying you know explaining and it's courteous, it's considerate right it is, but you never used to do that.

00:16:38.865 --> 00:16:44.745
After three dates maybe I probably would have said something like oh, I'm just not ready for a relationship.

00:16:44.745 --> 00:16:49.797
I would have given a bs excuse, but I would have said something, something, yeah, after three days if it was after one date.

00:16:49.797 --> 00:16:52.888
Yeah, I've not responded, yeah, but I think three dates.

00:16:53.269 --> 00:16:53.912
It was confusing.

00:16:53.912 --> 00:16:54.553
It was confusing.

00:16:54.553 --> 00:16:56.716
I was like oh yeah, I thought it was going well.

00:16:56.716 --> 00:16:59.139
Yeah, especially if you think it's going well, you know.

00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:00.501
Yeah, yeah, no.

00:17:00.942 --> 00:17:01.743
His loss, not yours.

00:17:01.743 --> 00:17:08.550
I was going to say people can't handle conflict, confrontation Like it's just, it's a thing, like people just can't, they can't.

00:17:08.550 --> 00:17:12.807
They're so scared of what the response is going to be that they can't put it out there.

00:17:12.807 --> 00:17:13.329
I guess.

00:17:13.714 --> 00:17:15.459
I think a lot of it is too like.

00:17:15.459 --> 00:17:18.305
Like they want this idea that they still have options.

00:17:18.305 --> 00:17:22.258
It's not even that they want the option, they want the idea of options Like.

00:17:22.258 --> 00:17:23.943
I never close the door on that.

00:17:23.943 --> 00:17:29.203
So maybe I have an opportunity to say something I'm like, yeah, I'm with social media.

00:17:29.335 --> 00:17:30.580
There are so many options out there.

00:17:31.055 --> 00:17:43.531
I did see a post recently, though, that Tinder is laying off a bunch of people Like they're doing, like a massive layoff, because they're saying that the dating apps are like done like they're like.

00:17:43.531 --> 00:17:47.400
No one wants to be on the apps anymore well, pretty much mostly women it's.

00:17:47.621 --> 00:17:51.595
It's a decline in women well, most of our guests aren't on the apps anymore.

00:17:51.595 --> 00:17:59.818
That's why we started the podcast, because people have just done with the apps well, it's because it does feel like a meA tea market.

00:17:59.980 --> 00:18:03.285
Yeah, I'm like this is a nice tenderloin steak.

00:18:03.285 --> 00:18:04.787
Oh, this is ground beef.

00:18:04.926 --> 00:18:21.037
This is a ribeye Like you're just like Well, and I feel there are so many spam accounts, there are so many like OnlyFans models out there that try to lure these guys in, and then they're like they send them to their OnlyFans account and ask them to pay, Right right, they're escorts.

00:18:21.057 --> 00:18:21.819
Yeah, it's all about the money.

00:18:21.819 --> 00:18:22.181
Money, yeah, well.

00:18:22.181 --> 00:18:26.896
And and when you monetize something like that, like on top of that, the app itself is monetized and it works off of like an algorithm for money.

00:18:26.896 --> 00:18:33.538
So you start to get in this mindset that people are products, and I think that's where people are exhausted.

00:18:33.538 --> 00:18:42.008
We're exhausted from dating because I'm tired of feeling like a product, because I treat myself like chan Chanel and you treat me like I'm Timu.

00:18:42.496 --> 00:18:43.601
And it kills my feelings.

00:18:44.795 --> 00:18:46.800
You're not Timu, I'm not.

00:18:46.820 --> 00:18:47.983
Timu, you're Gucci.

00:18:47.983 --> 00:18:52.625
Yes, I'm at least Lululemon on sale, okay.

00:18:52.625 --> 00:18:56.321
So what do you do in your free time?

00:18:56.321 --> 00:18:56.884
What are your hobbies?

00:18:57.435 --> 00:18:59.442
Most of mine center around my 11 year old diva.

00:18:59.442 --> 00:19:00.917
What's her name?

00:19:00.917 --> 00:19:02.545
Name's lily josephine.

00:19:02.545 --> 00:19:04.713
That's a beautiful name, lily josephine.

00:19:04.713 --> 00:19:05.055
I love that.

00:19:05.055 --> 00:19:10.460
But she's gotten really into the fact that we're from the south and she, like, is trying to embrace her southern hood.

00:19:10.460 --> 00:19:18.804
I guess I'm like this is this is way too close to being a clan rally, lily like we gotta get back to like casual southern, sweet southern, she like.

00:19:18.844 --> 00:19:24.102
But I just want to know, like sweet tea and blah blah, and I'm like I okay, if this is your identity, this is your identity.

00:19:24.102 --> 00:19:28.243
She's gotten into makeup now, so she's how fun, it's a fun age.

00:19:28.243 --> 00:19:42.247
It's really brutal because she'll tell me what certain things look like, so I'll put on an outfit and she'll be like you look like cheese whiz and I'm like and I've never worried this again.

00:19:42.247 --> 00:19:51.621
So we went through like oh, as I'm moving, we've gotten rid of so much of my closet because she's just like giving me the 11 year old impression of what my clothes look like as a millennial mom.

00:19:51.621 --> 00:19:54.490
And it's been really, really sobering.

00:19:54.731 --> 00:19:56.096
Kids are the toughest critics.

00:19:56.096 --> 00:19:59.143
Like they will just say whatever.

00:19:59.143 --> 00:20:02.817
Yeah, they will literally whatever is on your mind mom, your teeth are yellow.

00:20:02.897 --> 00:20:07.219
Mom, you need to put your hair down, because you look older when you wear your hair up, like they're so honest.

00:20:07.219 --> 00:20:08.742
How old are yours?

00:20:08.742 --> 00:20:12.578
Seven and eight, and then Grayson is 14.

00:20:12.578 --> 00:20:14.582
Okay, so you, you get it.

00:20:14.582 --> 00:20:14.803
Then.

00:20:14.803 --> 00:20:15.644
Yeah, I get it.

00:20:15.644 --> 00:20:18.996
Yeah, they're so honest, but I appreciate it, you know.

00:20:18.996 --> 00:20:20.500
Okay, time to whiten my teeth.

00:20:21.284 --> 00:20:24.101
Yeah, I'm like, okay, great, that's a new insecurity unlocked.

00:20:24.101 --> 00:20:25.885
I didn't realize that she'll be like.

00:20:25.885 --> 00:20:30.644
You know, you realize you like bite the side of your cheek sometimes and I'm like, didn't I do?

00:20:31.547 --> 00:20:36.987
and then you're super like, hyper aware of it yeah, so are you looking to get married?

00:20:37.047 --> 00:20:38.277
are you looking to have more kids?

00:20:38.277 --> 00:20:38.938
What are you looking for?

00:20:39.479 --> 00:20:39.839
okay.

00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:47.538
So I'm at peace with the amount of children the whole one I have, with my financial like being a teacher.

00:20:47.538 --> 00:20:50.282
You're like monetarily can I afford another one?

00:20:50.282 --> 00:20:55.140
But if my partner really wanted kids of his own, I'd be excited about that.

00:20:55.140 --> 00:21:10.104
I am looking for like a marriage, but I feel like people hyper focus on that being when you tell people that I think they they get in this idea of like whoa, this is all going to be business and serious and that kind of like deflates the fun out of it.

00:21:10.104 --> 00:21:14.462
I kind of just want to date someone and then if we end up getting married, that's cool.

00:21:15.476 --> 00:21:16.179
Kind of go with the flow.

00:21:16.962 --> 00:21:20.684
Not like well, there's a plan, but it's like a light blueprint.

00:21:20.684 --> 00:21:26.855
There's nothing like at the seven-month mark we're doing yeah, there's not this scary timeline.

00:21:26.855 --> 00:21:34.106
It's more like okay, we care about each other and we're progressing naturally in a healthy, normal dynamic.

00:21:34.106 --> 00:21:38.226
Because all of those marriage proposals were within under a year.

00:21:38.226 --> 00:21:45.407
So now I'm just kind of like okay, if it's within six weeks, that's probably not a good time for him to ask me.

00:21:45.407 --> 00:21:49.904
He should not ask me to marry him in six weeks, like he doesn't even know me yet yeah.

00:21:50.005 --> 00:21:59.519
And then, like six months, still probably not a good time Like so do you move really fast in relationships historically Is that sort of like your pattern.

00:22:00.442 --> 00:22:05.403
I think that I moved at their pace and their pace was always trying to hide something.

00:22:05.403 --> 00:22:10.761
So like every time I've been dating now it's been with this intention of like and we're slowing things down.

00:22:10.761 --> 00:22:16.423
But I do want like a clear timeline, kind of like just some safety.

00:22:16.423 --> 00:22:17.425
Women just want safety.

00:22:17.425 --> 00:22:21.266
We're not really difficult creatures, honestly.

00:22:21.266 --> 00:22:23.535
We're complex creatures but we're not difficult.

00:22:23.535 --> 00:22:34.001
As long as you make me feel comforted and safe and you are actually listening to what I say, we could probably actually just be fine for the longest time.

00:22:34.001 --> 00:22:35.005
It's not difficult.

00:22:35.005 --> 00:22:36.307
What are your deal breakers?

00:22:39.336 --> 00:22:47.864
I'm sorry if you are in the halfway house it's just not it's just a no for me right now, Like I think you just need to feel better about yourself before we talk.

00:22:47.864 --> 00:22:54.202
Yeah, so halfway houses are probably a no Recovering addicts I don't think we're on the same timeline.

00:22:54.202 --> 00:22:55.066
That was really stressful.

00:22:55.434 --> 00:22:56.538
That was a stressful day.

00:22:56.577 --> 00:22:57.579
Like too stressful.

00:22:57.579 --> 00:23:08.211
Yeah, if you hate kids, like I think that's really like if you hate children, something's going on here that you probably still need to unpack.

00:23:08.211 --> 00:23:12.768
Uh, hopefully you've been to therapy, that's probably like you are, not?

00:23:12.768 --> 00:23:15.954
You don't think therapy's for pant pansies?

00:23:16.355 --> 00:23:26.356
there's the p word I wanted to use therapy's becoming quite popular now and a lot of people like it when people go to therapy, because it shows that you're doing the work on yourself so you're in a better place to be in a relationship.

00:23:26.625 --> 00:23:28.092
And you have to at least be open to it.

00:23:28.092 --> 00:23:38.236
I mean, if you don't have a whole bunch of childhood trauma to unpack, like I understand you don't want to pay for therapy, but like maybe you should just go, like just to see what else.

00:23:38.236 --> 00:23:50.478
Financially stable doesn't mean that I want to be taken care of, doesn't mean that I want to be taken care of, but if that is your natural inclination, far be it for me to say anything Like we can figure that out.

00:23:50.478 --> 00:23:54.221
But it's not like I want to be taken care of in this this, this way.

00:23:58.684 --> 00:24:07.246
Like I have heard of horror stories from the other end of males dating women, where they're like she expected me to buy her a purse on the first day and the purse was like a Chanel bag, like.

00:24:07.246 --> 00:24:09.476
And then she expected to have a weekly allowance and I'm like, were you dating a sugar baby?

00:24:09.476 --> 00:24:10.440
Like I'm really confused here.

00:24:10.440 --> 00:24:14.536
So that's definitely not my desire.

00:24:14.536 --> 00:24:18.872
But like I have my own job, I do buy my own shoes.

00:24:18.872 --> 00:24:21.593
I mean they are not Chanel, but I do buy my own shoes.

00:24:21.752 --> 00:24:22.355
I'll be okay.

00:24:22.904 --> 00:24:23.426
Are you ready for it?

00:24:24.108 --> 00:24:24.851
I'm ready for it.

00:24:24.851 --> 00:24:28.068
The keep more minute brought to you by tactical tax strategies.

00:24:28.068 --> 00:24:29.773
They help you keep more in your wallet.

00:24:29.773 --> 00:24:31.686
We help you keep more in your relationship.

00:24:31.686 --> 00:24:35.416
So we have listener question for this little segment that took you by surprise.

00:24:35.416 --> 00:24:37.086
In it she's like what are, what are we ready for?

00:24:37.086 --> 00:24:39.430
Oh, okay.

00:24:39.430 --> 00:24:43.575
So the question this week is from social media.

00:24:43.575 --> 00:24:48.300
It says he moaned his ex's name twice.

00:24:48.300 --> 00:24:51.674
It happened during sex, not once, but twice.

00:24:51.674 --> 00:24:53.571
He says it was an accident.

00:24:53.571 --> 00:24:56.354
I say it's a psychological crime.

00:24:56.354 --> 00:24:57.968
What do I do with this?

00:24:57.968 --> 00:24:59.030
Twice.

00:25:01.217 --> 00:25:01.596
I don't know.

00:25:01.596 --> 00:25:04.352
First time, maybe I'd let it slide.

00:25:04.352 --> 00:25:06.890
The second time he's got to have feelings for her.

00:25:06.890 --> 00:25:08.355
Still, right, don't you think?

00:25:08.355 --> 00:25:09.647
I wonder how long ago they broke up.

00:25:09.647 --> 00:25:10.811
She didn't say, right, no?

00:25:10.932 --> 00:25:14.009
Yeah, okay, if I'm the ex, he probably still is moaning my name.

00:25:14.009 --> 00:25:17.518
Sorry, same girl, same.

00:25:17.518 --> 00:25:31.391
I'm so sorry, but like I okay, I think you actually at least need to have a conversation a hundred percent because I'd be worried that they're still having sex together if he's still moaning her name twice, like maybe they're still doing.

00:25:31.411 --> 00:25:32.174
That's the routine.

00:25:32.174 --> 00:25:33.763
Are you still in the routine what's the routine?

00:25:34.405 --> 00:26:01.054
either that or she's still so heavily on his brain that he can't get her out of his head it's worrying and so it doesn't necessarily mean that he has feelings for her and it doesn't necessarily mean that they're still having sex, but there's something going on where she's still very heavy on his mind, I think there's still some sort of emotional connection or spiritual connection to that and yeah you know?

00:26:01.094 --> 00:26:10.240
but, like we always say, communication is key, so just have a conversation or just say someone else's name the next time you're doing it and see how he responds.

00:26:10.300 --> 00:26:11.164
Give him a little taste.

00:26:12.006 --> 00:26:20.027
Be a petty betty like give him a little taste of his own medicine or just be like, just be a touch toxic and like.

00:26:20.027 --> 00:26:22.170
This is why why aren't you dating Cassie Cause?

00:26:22.170 --> 00:26:22.611
You do this.

00:26:23.711 --> 00:26:27.679
One of his best friend's names Like right, right, take it the next level.

00:26:27.719 --> 00:26:28.559
That's the next level.

00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:31.292
I put us on the edge and you pushed us over.

00:26:31.313 --> 00:26:37.740
Yeah, I'm like oh, you love that Derek's hairline isn't past his past, his cranium.

00:26:37.740 --> 00:26:39.931
Oh yeah, okay, derek Derek's in the lock now.

00:26:45.505 --> 00:26:46.928
I'm now I'm gonna use derek's name, like that's terrible.

00:26:46.928 --> 00:26:49.031
So now we're going to discuss controversial dating topics, oh lord.

00:26:49.031 --> 00:26:51.877
So first date sex is that still a mistake or is that normal now?

00:26:51.877 --> 00:26:54.190
Is it empowering or are people still judging?

00:26:54.190 --> 00:26:58.307
What do you guys think people say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

00:26:58.307 --> 00:27:03.588
But you're not giving away the milk for free because we're all just cows in the pasture, right like?

00:27:03.588 --> 00:27:08.199
Is it still controversial nowadays to have sex on the first date at our age?

00:27:08.239 --> 00:27:11.727
I mean, come on a little bit I it is still controversial.

00:27:11.727 --> 00:27:16.845
I feel, and I do think there are situations going on, are people owning it more?

00:27:17.045 --> 00:27:24.913
and yeah, I think, if you want to do it, just do it, because what, how often do you go on a first date and the chemistry is there and you're super attracted to him and it's great.

00:27:24.913 --> 00:27:28.593
If you have the opportunity, like I, would jump on it, literally, you know.

00:27:29.645 --> 00:27:41.069
I'm sorry, I'm in my mid thirties, the wind blows and I'm like, yes, so like, if I like you, like I have to like you and have some sort of emotional connection to even want to do that.

00:27:47.025 --> 00:27:56.512
So if the breeze is blowing and you're funny, if you're funny honestly, I'm, I'm a goner and we'll figure it out later and I feel if a guy's gonna judge you for doing that, you don't want to be in a relationship with him anyways, right?

00:27:57.114 --> 00:28:08.047
I feel like it's not as big of a deal as it used to be, but I do feel like it does still raise the question of does she do this with everyone on every first date?

00:28:08.047 --> 00:28:11.335
And by some reason does he do this with everyone on the first date.

00:28:11.335 --> 00:28:15.431
So I do think there is still that piece to work through.

00:28:15.431 --> 00:28:21.930
And then, and then, do you trust the person when they say I don't normally do this, you know what I mean.

00:28:21.971 --> 00:28:34.632
Before've never done this before, exactly exactly do you trust that like, because if you're doing it with me here on this first date you know how many, how many others, it's true, have you done this with?

00:28:34.632 --> 00:28:41.934
So I think it's like it's kind of a double-edged sword, because it's like do what you want, but also realize that there is still consequence.

00:28:41.934 --> 00:28:47.170
Consequence and a little bit of a stigma attached to it the three-day texting rule.

00:28:47.230 --> 00:28:50.520
do people still follow that rule, Like, should you wait three days?

00:28:50.520 --> 00:28:52.471
Does that mean you're eager beaver if you don't wait?

00:28:52.490 --> 00:28:52.872
the three days.

00:28:52.872 --> 00:28:55.169
No, I don't think there should be a rule like that.

00:28:55.388 --> 00:29:01.828
I think nowadays people are into loud looking they call it, which is just, you know, being very direct about what you want, which I love.

00:29:01.828 --> 00:29:03.952
So I think people aren't waiting the three days.

00:29:03.952 --> 00:29:10.768
They're just, you know, saying what they want right off the bat and not thinking too much about it, because that's so lame to put rules.

00:29:10.768 --> 00:29:14.886
And oh, I can't text her today because it's only been two days, you know like how lame is that?

00:29:15.067 --> 00:29:20.666
well, by that time, I think you've lost interest just because of how quickly dating that's actually a good point.

00:29:20.707 --> 00:29:24.132
Three days is like so long nowadays with social media.

00:29:24.152 --> 00:29:33.578
Yeah, I saw a video of this woman and she basically she said um, she was like, if you're not texting me every day, there's another man who is.

00:29:34.061 --> 00:29:36.892
It's kind of true, it's like that is kind of true.

00:29:36.892 --> 00:30:05.993
Whereas, like if, if you are in that space where you're dating with intention and you are trying to build something with that person, if you're not in their inbox in some way whether it's a text or social media or an email or a phone call or what like, whatever it is if you are not in some sort of communication with them every day, there's probably somebody else that is good catches are getting inundated on social media, whether it be instagram or Facebook or TikTok, with messages.

00:30:06.054 --> 00:30:10.214
Yeah, so yeah, if you wait, you snooze, you lose, you snooze, you lose.

00:30:11.826 --> 00:30:16.049
I'm just by that time I'm like okay, well, this guy was not interested, like, why are we doing?

00:30:16.090 --> 00:30:16.191
this.

00:30:16.191 --> 00:30:19.192
I take it as a sign of disinterest too.

00:30:19.373 --> 00:30:24.563
Very true, okay, and moving forward leads you to number three, playing hard to get.

00:30:24.563 --> 00:30:26.328
Do people really want what they can't have?

00:30:26.328 --> 00:30:27.712
I feel like a lot of women do.

00:30:27.712 --> 00:30:28.935
Like the chase, don't you think?

00:30:30.027 --> 00:30:31.089
yeah, I think both.

00:30:31.089 --> 00:30:33.394
I think everyone likes the chase a little bit, don't they?

00:30:33.414 --> 00:30:41.352
I don't know, I never really did, but then I feel like it's double that show, because then the nice guys typically do finish last, right.

00:30:41.352 --> 00:30:44.623
So I don't know okay, what about sorry?

00:30:44.623 --> 00:30:45.484
I was gonna say what about you?

00:30:45.484 --> 00:30:46.267
Do you like the chase?

00:30:46.928 --> 00:30:50.974
so I, I I'm rooting for the nice guy.

00:30:50.974 --> 00:31:08.016
Yeah, at this point in my life I've dealt with enough trauma and enough bad boys to be like you know what, if you are a nice guy, it's because you're strong enough to make sure everyone is getting across the finish line before you do, and in the bedroom you really do hope he finishes last.

00:31:08.016 --> 00:31:25.644
So, like that's what I'm hoping for is be the nice guy, yeah, and I would like a little chase, like maybe, maybe give me a couple of hours of confusion, but I honestly I don't like being confused and I think games are frustrating.

00:31:26.046 --> 00:31:36.804
I think whenever anyone's playing quote-unquote hard to get it's frustrating juvenile and very juvenile yeah, and, to be honest, I just don't have time for it exactly, and why waste time?

00:31:36.824 --> 00:31:38.509
if you like someone and they like you, just be together.

00:31:38.509 --> 00:31:39.191
Why play games?

00:31:39.191 --> 00:31:40.273
Yeah, why prolong it?

00:31:40.294 --> 00:31:46.412
well, if you're playing a game, you're probably gonna miss out on a date with me because I can't get childcare then.

00:31:46.951 --> 00:31:47.573
That's funny.

00:31:47.573 --> 00:31:48.634
We're done, sorry.

00:31:48.634 --> 00:31:53.138
Should your partner have your phone passcode, I don't see why not.

00:31:53.138 --> 00:31:57.289
I feel like if you have nothing to hide, why do you have to keep it a secret?

00:31:57.289 --> 00:31:58.896
Why do you get upset that they have your passcode?

00:31:58.896 --> 00:32:00.718
You know, some people are very territorial and don't like it.

00:32:01.357 --> 00:32:10.281
I feel like I feel like we've talked about this before, because I said I need I need someone to have the passcode to my phone so they know which pictures to use for my funeral slideshow.

00:32:10.281 --> 00:32:12.742
Like you know what I mean.

00:32:12.742 --> 00:32:22.104
Like I need somebody to be able to get into my phone so they can go into my photos so that I can have a bomb ass funeral slideshow.

00:32:22.104 --> 00:32:23.270
You want your way to look good.

00:32:23.371 --> 00:32:34.278
Yes of course, Because my funeral is going to just be like a big party and it's like I need all I need my life, I need my all, everybody to remember all the great times they had with me throughout my life.

00:32:34.278 --> 00:32:39.828
And how is anyone going to be able to get those photos off my phone if they don't have my phone passcode?

00:32:40.170 --> 00:32:47.718
But I'm sure, if, like you pass, like you can go to the phone store and this has happened, I'm sure it's happened before why you, they, you can now we're getting technical.

00:32:47.738 --> 00:32:48.659
Can you be friends with?

00:32:50.605 --> 00:32:51.307
opposite sex?

00:32:51.307 --> 00:32:52.509
This one, I don't know.

00:32:52.509 --> 00:32:52.971
Can you?

00:32:52.971 --> 00:32:57.752
People say you can, but I feel like one of them always wants something more it's hard.

00:32:57.752 --> 00:33:01.707
It's hard, but if you set boundaries, I feel like it's the men that always want to bang.

00:33:01.707 --> 00:33:03.148
The men always want more.

00:33:03.148 --> 00:33:07.258
I think, like you say, you have a lot of guy friends and you say they wouldn't, but I guarantee they would?

00:33:07.278 --> 00:33:07.878
I don't know.

00:33:07.878 --> 00:33:15.431
The thing is, I'm very good friends with her uncle and he is one person who I know I'm not his type physically Like I know I'm not.

00:33:15.431 --> 00:33:16.951
I'm taller than him.

00:33:16.951 --> 00:33:18.751
I'm not Asian.

00:33:26.805 --> 00:33:27.867
Do you think they can be't know men and women?

00:33:27.867 --> 00:33:34.126
Um, I, honestly all of the guy friends that I've had in my life really struggle to be my friend in a relationship and I think that told me a lot about the way they see me.

00:33:34.126 --> 00:33:45.077
And, um, I think it's really hurtful because it's like oh, you weren't my friend, you wanted to sleep with me, like yeah, you have to try to sniff that out.

00:33:45.097 --> 00:33:50.955
I feel like in the beginning, because it's that intention or whatever.

00:33:50.955 --> 00:34:00.644
But a lot of times I think you just have to be careful and set boundaries, because I do think that it's a slippery slope into the more than friends.

00:34:00.826 --> 00:34:12.652
I do have one guy friend and we actually just kind of use each other as emotional support through dating and I think that's the safe, that's our boundary, like because he's dating people.

00:34:12.652 --> 00:34:19.413
But he'll ask me sometimes like I don't feel like planning a date and I'm like dude, that's your job, I'm not dating her.

00:34:19.413 --> 00:34:28.139
So like just reinforcing that boundary and just being like this is not a dynamic where you're going to get like free emotional labor here.

00:34:28.179 --> 00:34:28.458
Could you?

00:34:28.478 --> 00:34:28.920
date him.

00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:34.632
That's a confusing slope.

00:34:34.632 --> 00:34:38.494
It's a slippery slope Like that's just like he's terrified of children.

00:34:38.494 --> 00:34:40.452
So I was like deal breaker.

00:34:40.452 --> 00:34:41.764
Yeah, deal breaker, for sure.

00:34:42.025 --> 00:34:47.594
I think you can only be friends with the opposite sex if you're not attracted to them physically.

00:34:48.465 --> 00:34:52.072
But I feel like one of the partners is always attracted Physically attracted.

00:34:52.072 --> 00:34:57.452
Yeah, ghosting Ever justified or always trash behavior.

00:34:57.452 --> 00:35:00.092
Sometimes ghosting is self-care, they say.

00:35:00.092 --> 00:35:01.811
Or is that just what toxic people say?

00:35:01.811 --> 00:35:02.494
What do you think?

00:35:02.764 --> 00:35:06.409
That's just what toxic people say I think you're a child.

00:35:06.409 --> 00:35:07.572
You shouldn't be dating.

00:35:07.572 --> 00:35:09.195
If you ghost people, yeah I?

00:35:09.396 --> 00:35:18.034
I agree, but devil's advocate, do you think some people need to be ghosted, like the really persistent ones that just don't stop and you try to give them the hint and they don't take the hint.

00:35:18.034 --> 00:35:20.246
At some point do you feel you need to?

00:35:20.286 --> 00:35:32.927
just I, think you need to stop hinting and be direct and say please stop contacting me, I will not spell it out, I will not be responding after this point, and then you can ghost and block or whatever.

00:35:32.927 --> 00:35:42.092
Yeah, um, but I don't think that just ghosting is ever an okay thing to do treat other people how you want to be treated.

00:35:42.853 --> 00:35:46.983
Liking old pictures on Instagram is that flirty or being creepy?

00:35:46.983 --> 00:35:47.925
I think that's creepy.

00:35:47.925 --> 00:35:55.514
When you get like 250 notifications from the same person liking all your pictures and the pictures are like from 10 years ago, don't you find that kind of creepy?

00:35:55.514 --> 00:35:57.192
They're going through all your old pictures.

00:35:57.192 --> 00:35:59.018
I think that's lazy love bombing.

00:35:59.184 --> 00:36:06.597
I think it's lazy love bombing too and it's a little flirty because there are, I like, I mean, I got some good pictures from a long time ago.

00:36:06.777 --> 00:36:10.664
Yeah, I know I was kind of cute, so like go through my stuff You're like oh yeah that was a good picture.

00:36:10.664 --> 00:36:10.784
Yeah.

00:36:11.344 --> 00:36:12.570
It like kind of reminds me.

00:36:12.570 --> 00:36:14.918
I'm like, oh yeah, like how could I not?00:36:14.940 --> 00:36:15.322


do that.00:36:15.322 --> 00:36:16.911


That is hilarious.00:36:16.911 --> 00:36:29.867


Do you owe someone honesty if you're just?00:36:29.887 --> 00:36:30.088


having fun.00:36:30.088 --> 00:36:31.371


Do you really need a serious conversation policy on this?00:36:31.371 --> 00:36:39.465


My policy is always honesty, like if I don't feel a connection with someone romantically, I am the first one to say, hey, I don't really see this going anywhere romantically.00:36:39.465 --> 00:36:48.139


But like this is a really cool concert we're at, or this is a really cool concert we're at, or this is a really cool food truck festival you invited me to, I'm still open.00:36:48.139 --> 00:36:58.775


I am going to stay here and hang out by myself because I'm here and it's fun, and so if you would like to stay and hang out with me, you are more than welcome to, but it's not a romantic thing for me.00:36:59.025 --> 00:37:01.932


I guess it's always better to be honest so that you're on the same page.00:37:01.932 --> 00:37:02.956


Yeah, I think so.00:37:04.985 --> 00:37:05.447


What do you think um?00:37:05.447 --> 00:37:14.072


I think it's more confusing for me when other people aren't honest and that's that's stressful because I'm like am I infringing on your boundaries?00:37:14.072 --> 00:37:18.610


Am I disrespecting you with my behavior in some way if we aren't on the same page?00:37:18.610 --> 00:37:22.505


So like I'll casually be like so are we like just chilling?00:37:22.786 --> 00:37:34.230


is this like one time hangout, like it's not gonna bother my feelings, but talking to multiple people, normal or shady, you're not exclusive until there's a conversation, right?00:37:34.230 --> 00:37:37.987


I think that you can talk to as many people as you want until you've had that conversation.00:37:37.987 --> 00:37:38.469


What are we?00:37:38.469 --> 00:37:38.971


What are we doing?00:37:39.030 --> 00:37:40.275


right agreed yeah.00:37:40.275 --> 00:37:45.556


I I think it once again I'm just a golden retriever trapped in this angry little body.00:37:45.556 --> 00:37:52.639


So like I already have decided, like I have feelings for you long, long before we've actually had the conversation Right.00:37:52.639 --> 00:38:01.344


So I'm probably not talking to anyone the same way I'm talking to you, but I don't think it's like bad behavior to be talking to multiple people.00:38:01.344 --> 00:38:03.186


It's just that it's something I can't do.00:38:03.867 --> 00:38:05.188


Do you think people need to be honest about?00:38:05.188 --> 00:38:07.108


Hey, just to let you know I am talking to other people.00:38:07.429 --> 00:38:08.590


No, I think that's implied.00:38:08.590 --> 00:38:14.175


If you haven't had a conversation about exclusivity, I think it's implied that you're both talking to other people.00:38:14.175 --> 00:38:17.356


And it's interesting because I see all the time on the.00:38:17.356 --> 00:38:18.498


Are you in the?00:38:18.498 --> 00:38:20.159


Are we dating the same guy group?00:38:20.398 --> 00:38:20.699


Yeah.00:38:20.759 --> 00:38:32.030


So all the time girls will be like, just started talking to this guy, wondering if he's talking to anyone else, and it's like, yes, bitch, he's talking to other people Like you.00:38:32.030 --> 00:38:34.315


You, you literally just said I just started talking to him.00:38:34.315 --> 00:38:37.168


Why would he not be talking to other people?00:38:37.168 --> 00:38:39.052


And it's perfectly okay if he is.00:38:39.052 --> 00:38:40.657


And it's perfectly okay if he is.00:38:40.657 --> 00:38:47.190


Like, if you just started talking to him, clearly you guys haven't had a conversation yet, that you're only dating each other.00:38:47.190 --> 00:38:54.298


And if you haven't had that conversation yet, like he's more than welcome to talk to whoever he wants.00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:56.726


Yeah, last one is it okay to be friends with your ex?00:38:56.726 --> 00:39:08.088


I feel that if you're in a new relationship, it's disrespectful to be friends with your ex, but if you're single still and you're okay with it, I don't know.00:39:08.088 --> 00:39:08.630


What do you guys think?00:39:10.106 --> 00:39:22.891


I have one really close friend that is an ex and I would be lying if I said that that relationship has blocked probably some blessings in my life.00:39:22.891 --> 00:39:23.434


You know what I mean.00:39:23.434 --> 00:39:28.755


Like you probably have blocked yourself by having that friendship, so like setting boundaries there.00:39:28.755 --> 00:39:30.237


You can be cordial to them.00:39:30.237 --> 00:39:37.697


You can be like respectful, but doesn't mean that you guys should be like besties hanging out on weekends and I think it's situational too.00:39:37.757 --> 00:39:42.646


I think it depends on how deep and involved the relationship was.00:39:42.646 --> 00:39:59.023


If it's an ex, quote-unquote ex, if it's someone that you just went on a few dates with, you were never really exclusive, so you call them your ex because you kind of dated but figured out you were better as friends, I don't see a problem with that.00:39:59.023 --> 00:40:10.137


But if it's someone that you dated for you know, three, four or five years, never had kids with, never got married to and it ended, I don't know.00:40:10.137 --> 00:40:18.242


I don't know why there's a reason to still be friends with someone that you had super, super, super deep romantic feelings towards.00:40:18.242 --> 00:40:19.615


I feel like it just gets in the way.00:40:20.210 --> 00:40:24.001


So now it's time for the celebrity cut, where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities.00:40:24.001 --> 00:40:30.182


So did you see that interview that Charlize Theron was on with Alex Cooper from Call Her Daddy, did you see that?00:40:30.182 --> 00:40:37.117


So I always liked Charlize Theron, but I fell in love with her even more after this interview because she was very candid, very real.00:40:37.117 --> 00:40:46.547


She was talking about how she recently shagged a 26 year old because she's 49 and she's like yeah, I recently banged a 26 year old and it was fucking amazing, it was fucking fantastic.00:40:46.547 --> 00:40:48.954


She was just raw and real, which I appreciated, you know.00:40:48.954 --> 00:40:55.034


But Megyn Kelly you know, megyn Kelly, she slammed Charlize Theron like just went off.00:40:55.034 --> 00:40:57.599


She was trashy and vulgar and inappropriate.00:40:57.599 --> 00:40:58.402


She needs to act.00:40:58.402 --> 00:40:59.030


Her rage.00:40:59.030 --> 00:41:00.875


She's one of the biggest celebrities.00:41:00.875 --> 00:41:02.177


She needs to act like it.00:41:02.177 --> 00:41:04.451


Why does she need to act like someone?00:41:04.451 --> 00:41:04.853


She's not.00:41:04.853 --> 00:41:06.197


Why does she need to pretend to?00:41:06.217 --> 00:41:08.192


be someone why does she need to filter herself?00:41:08.291 --> 00:41:10.597


yeah, let her live her life right.00:41:10.597 --> 00:41:18.025


There are multiple male celebrities that have dated 25 year olds and below right, so I'm really confused.00:41:18.025 --> 00:41:19.730


Is that just the double standard?00:41:20.231 --> 00:41:23.940


exactly, and megan kelly said oh, also, I think she's lying about the 26 year old.00:41:23.940 --> 00:41:25.934


I don't think she did bang a 26 year old.00:41:25.934 --> 00:41:29.003


Uh, what 26 year old male would not bang charlie sauron?00:41:29.003 --> 00:41:34.097


I'm a married woman, straight woman, and I would bang charlie sauron seriously.00:41:34.097 --> 00:41:35.621


Why is that so hard to believe?00:41:36.454 --> 00:41:40.471


I don't know yeah anywho I already need something to talk about.00:41:40.630 --> 00:41:41.492


It's true, yeah.00:41:41.492 --> 00:41:43.597


Where is your favorite place to go on a first date?00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:45.201


okay.00:41:45.201 --> 00:41:56.402


So as this, when men around here hear that like I'm in scottsdale, they kind of get this impression that you know there's certain really weird standards.00:41:56.402 --> 00:41:59.371


But like minor family spots, this is so dumb.00:41:59.371 --> 00:42:02.418


But like Diego Pops is one of my go-tos, yes.00:42:02.418 --> 00:42:05.690


Or like I want to sit down and eat.00:42:05.690 --> 00:42:13.920


I love people that want to like actually be able to multitask, but I'm if I'm trying to play top golf and actually look decent, I'm not.00:42:13.920 --> 00:42:16.630


I'm not spending time actually thinking about what you're saying.00:42:16.630 --> 00:42:17.411


I'm gonna be honest.00:42:17.411 --> 00:42:23.282


So if I'm actually on a first date, it's like diego pops or grimaldi's I love.00:42:23.282 --> 00:42:35.471


Or, um, just went to a place the other day that was actually really good the pear and the the perfect pear yeah, the perfect place is delicious that grilled cheese sandwiches oh, I love a good grilled cheese.00:42:35.530 --> 00:42:36.552


Do they put tomato on it?00:42:36.552 --> 00:42:38.317


They have a bunch of different options.00:42:38.317 --> 00:42:42.666


Oh, they do, and uh evo has some of the best choices.00:42:42.666 --> 00:42:49.829


Good, so like just, I don't know something like that now it's time for zoyo intel, sponsored by zoyo, your neighborhood yogurt.00:42:49.829 --> 00:42:56.539


So rapid fire questions to really get to know you the best or worst pickup line you've ever heard, or a pickup line you like to tell.00:42:57.920 --> 00:43:07.163


I okay, this one was so dumb, but it was like so I just talked to future me and he said that today I'm talking to my wife, when are we going?00:43:07.163 --> 00:43:09.394


It was something so dumb as that.00:43:09.394 --> 00:43:11.280


Oh, that's kind of cute, I think it's kind of cute, yeah.00:43:11.690 --> 00:43:15.802


Favorite body part on a partner I love hands, hands, yeah.00:43:21.949 --> 00:43:25.668


What gives know I love hands, hands, yeah, what gives you the ick like just grosses me out, period um just human indecency, like you are not a decent human being, you're not a good person.00:43:25.668 --> 00:43:26.068


It grosses me out?00:43:26.090 --> 00:43:27.813


is watching porn considered cheating?00:43:29.016 --> 00:43:33.226


what type of porn like where what?00:43:33.485 --> 00:43:35.230


what am I maybe just regular?00:43:35.230 --> 00:43:36.552


Regular or porn is.00:43:36.552 --> 00:43:37.893


Is that cheating?00:43:38.875 --> 00:43:42.882


I mean, if you're really bad at it and you really need some techniques, you're trying to go for it.00:43:42.882 --> 00:43:44.824


Let's just have a conversation about it.00:43:45.465 --> 00:43:48.867


Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?00:43:50.190 --> 00:43:53.039


I love the fact that you really are into counting things.00:43:53.039 --> 00:43:57.360


You probably need to get tested, that's funny.00:44:00.150 --> 00:44:00.931


Yeah, is it acceptable to have sex on?00:44:00.952 --> 00:44:03.137


a first date sometimes you break rules.00:44:03.938 --> 00:44:08.496


Should you disclose mental health issues early on ina relationship what do we call it mental health?00:44:09.179 --> 00:44:12.929


like um, I think you should be honest and candid.00:44:12.929 --> 00:44:20.333


If it is going to affect the dating, like dynamics, you should be candid and what is your favorite sexual position and why?00:44:20.333 --> 00:44:24.400


Oh wow save the best for last.00:44:24.400 --> 00:44:31.054


Um, honestly, I just like a man's body weight on me, I don't know, like just crush me.00:44:31.054 --> 00:44:35.389


It doesn't matter the position, just I want to feel kind of crushed.00:44:35.389 --> 00:44:36.552


I'm tired of being on top.00:44:36.552 --> 00:44:37.452


You guys are lazy.00:44:39.074 --> 00:44:42.599


Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at the Meat Market, and thank you so much, cassie.00:44:42.599 --> 00:44:48.766


If you want to snag a date with Cassie, go to at Meat Market podcast on any of our social media platforms and send us a DM.00:44:48.766 --> 00:44:51.353


And thank you to our sponsor, tactical Tax Strategies.00:44:51.353 --> 00:44:55.998


If you want to keep more of your own wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies.00:44:55.998 --> 00:44:58.159


We'll see you next week at the meat market.00:44:58.159 --> 00:45:02.324


Oh my God, I just totally got catfished.00:45:02.405 --> 00:45:09.481


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:45:09.481 --> 00:45:11.626


His wife just reached out to me.