June 11, 2025

What Your Love Language Really Says πŸ‘€

Pam’s dating life? Absolute chaos, and we’re here for it. She once caught her live-in boyfriend cheating and pulled a full Jerry Springer move by hiding the other woman in the stairwell for a dramatic reveal. Iconic. From NFL flings with mugshots to men who think β€œWhat's your favorite color?” is deep conversation, Pam has seen it all. She’s a doctorate-holding business owner who wants masculine energy, attention to detail, and zero nonsense. Oh, and did you know only 7% of guys message first ...

Pam’s dating life? Absolute chaos, and we’re here for it.

She once caught her live-in boyfriend cheating and pulled a full Jerry Springer move by hiding the other woman in the stairwell for a dramatic reveal. Iconic.

From NFL flings with mugshots to men who think “What's your favorite color?” is deep conversation, Pam has seen it all. She’s a doctorate-holding business owner who wants masculine energy, attention to detail, and zero nonsense.

Oh, and did you know only 7% of guys message first on dating apps? No wonder Pam’s got stories.

Buckle up for laughs, gasps, and maybe a little secondhand rage. This one’s wild.

A big shoutout to our amazing sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies! You can check them out at steptax.com. Remember, we drop your drawers, and they drop the tax—making life a little smoother for everyone. Thanks for keeping us covered!

00:00 - Dating Mishaps and Show Introduction

06:25 - The NFL Player Who Disappeared

15:31 - Confronting a Cheater Jerry Springer-Style

24:17 - Love Languages and Relationship Communication

31:51 - Dating App Statistics and Modern Dating

39:00 - What Makes Men Unattractive

WEBVTT

00:00:01.241 --> 00:00:03.867
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

00:00:03.867 --> 00:00:05.913
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

00:00:06.379 --> 00:00:11.029
So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

00:00:11.029 --> 00:00:13.153
His wife just reached out to me.

00:00:15.441 --> 00:00:16.704
Welcome to the meat market.

00:00:16.704 --> 00:00:20.152
The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

00:00:21.222 --> 00:00:25.192
I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess and today's sizzling single is Pam.

00:00:25.192 --> 00:00:27.503
Welcome, hello, I'm so happy to be here.

00:00:27.503 --> 00:00:32.764
So you had an NFL player pursue you and then you found out he was headed to jail?

00:00:32.764 --> 00:00:34.088
Tell us about that.

00:00:34.270 --> 00:00:36.057
I mean that is a great way to start it off.

00:00:36.137 --> 00:00:37.420
It was really hilarious.

00:00:38.783 --> 00:00:45.713
I was on a plane and we had a layover in Dallas somewhere and they were like you can get off the plane.

00:00:45.713 --> 00:00:53.252
I'm like okay, and I'm such like I don't like to be late and so, even though it was an hour, I'm like I have to hurry to the quickest market, get something and run away.

00:00:53.252 --> 00:01:08.090
And I happened to meet this guy in the little market and he just commented on my shoes I'm a huge fan of Chucks, I only wear Chucks and then I had a Snoop Dogg shirt on, so he quickly just mentioned something about that.

00:01:08.090 --> 00:01:10.822
And then we both like headed to the line he's like gorgeous ladies first.

00:01:10.822 --> 00:01:15.561
And I was like, oh, that was really sweet, paid for my stuff and just wished him a safe travel.

00:01:15.561 --> 00:01:26.152
And I walked to my plane and um sat in my seat and one of the flight attendants came over and was like hey, there's a card that this guy he's like you didn't see this huge man running after you.

00:01:26.152 --> 00:01:28.594
And I'm like I'm in my own little world.

00:01:28.754 --> 00:01:29.036
No.

00:01:29.775 --> 00:01:32.873
So he had a card on it and he's like, hey, from the guy that met you in the market.

00:01:32.873 --> 00:01:35.542
And I was like, okay, so I'm like why not?

00:01:35.542 --> 00:01:45.195
So I text him while I'm sitting there and we started texting back and forth and about like a month later he happened to travel back to Arizona.

00:01:45.195 --> 00:01:49.572
So we hung out and had dinner and everything was wonderful.

00:01:49.572 --> 00:01:58.590
And then we were planning on me going out and meeting up where he was traveling next and it was just, it was really funny.

00:01:58.590 --> 00:02:00.927
I was like, okay, I just want to make sure this guy's like not married.

00:02:00.927 --> 00:02:08.191
So Googled him and, of course, got his history in the NFL and all the things he did, and he's been retired for quite a while.

00:02:08.191 --> 00:02:13.348
So, um, and I was like, okay, he's being honest about stuff Like you never know what someone's going to lie about.

00:02:13.348 --> 00:02:22.746
And then, but the one photo that I clicked on was a mugshot and I was just like I mean you know everyone has a past, like it could happen, Like I Like.

00:02:23.126 --> 00:02:27.588
I'm not here to get all upset about that, and so it was really, really interesting.

00:02:27.588 --> 00:02:32.431
And so there was a pending case and I was like this is probably something that's going to go somewhere.

00:02:32.431 --> 00:02:33.913
And we kept talking.

00:02:33.913 --> 00:02:37.936
I was waiting for him to bring it up, just because I'm such not a judgmental person.

00:02:37.936 --> 00:02:39.817
Like things happen, we all do stupid stuff.

00:02:39.817 --> 00:02:42.563
Some of us get caught, Some don't.

00:02:42.563 --> 00:02:53.766
And so right after New Year's he had texted me his long message right on New Year's and all of this stuff and then gone Like never heard from him again.

00:02:53.766 --> 00:02:56.705
I was like okay.

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So then I was trying to Google.

00:02:57.588 --> 00:02:59.706
I'm like maybe he did go to jail, I don't know what happened.

00:02:59.727 --> 00:03:00.569
Did I serve that sentence?

00:03:00.569 --> 00:03:00.669
Yeah?

00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:08.009
I couldn't find anything about it and I was like, okay, and it of that, yeah, I couldn't find anything about it and I was like, okay, and it happened.

00:03:08.009 --> 00:03:12.444
I think it was like a year later, on New Year's, I just happened to send a message um to his phone, just like hey, it's been a year, hope you're doing well.

00:03:12.444 --> 00:03:14.149
And it went undelivered.

00:03:14.149 --> 00:03:17.348
So I was like, okay, either his phone's off or phone number isn't working anymore.

00:03:17.348 --> 00:03:19.014
But and that was it.

00:03:19.014 --> 00:03:21.401
Yeah, that was it, and you never heard from him again.

00:03:21.481 --> 00:03:22.563
No, that is so.

00:03:22.563 --> 00:03:25.830
He could be still in jail, maybe, wow.

00:03:25.830 --> 00:03:32.923
I don't know yeah, and you never found out the reason why he went to jail or the reason why he was arrested it had to do with something, something.

00:03:32.943 --> 00:03:38.920
There was an assault that happened and, yeah, that's crazy yeah, talk about no.

00:03:38.980 --> 00:03:41.947
Closure right, talk about no oh, my gosh at all.

00:03:42.228 --> 00:03:43.310
And were you interested in him?

00:03:43.912 --> 00:03:47.288
I was like we actually connected a lot and and everything was great.

00:03:47.288 --> 00:03:54.867
But you know people can fluff up things through text and phone calls and visiting and everything, and so, yeah, I was like, oh well, that took a turn.

00:03:55.088 --> 00:03:55.751
Disappointing.

00:03:55.751 --> 00:03:58.007
He might creep back up.

00:03:58.007 --> 00:04:00.426
He might pop back up once he gets released.

00:04:00.526 --> 00:04:01.370
Do you know what I mean?

00:04:01.430 --> 00:04:06.163
It can happen Like release there you go, like after his release day.

00:04:06.163 --> 00:04:08.770
He's probably been thinking about you all these five years later he reaches out to you.

00:04:08.830 --> 00:04:16.930
He just got out of prison like oh my goodness, so we have a lot to talk about you're like maybe I should have brought it up that I googled you.

00:04:17.711 --> 00:04:29.093
I know I should hang out, it's like it's like we're so worried, like, oh, it's too soon for the crazy to come out like he can't see how crazy I am, that I Googled him and I know all this about him.

00:04:29.093 --> 00:04:35.146
I can't bring it up yet, but then maybe you should have brought it up, maybe you should have seen that side.

00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:37.233
I'm like there's no playbook to say when do you bring up?

00:04:37.233 --> 00:04:38.240
Hey, I saw your mugshot.

00:04:40.526 --> 00:04:43.132
Like you should have texted it to him.

00:04:43.132 --> 00:04:46.762
Hey, this is a great picture of you.

00:04:46.781 --> 00:04:47.463
I know the lighting is perfect.

00:04:47.463 --> 00:04:47.964
That'd be terrible.

00:04:47.964 --> 00:04:48.225
Oh my gosh.

00:04:48.225 --> 00:04:49.689
I'd probably cry for him for myself.

00:04:49.689 --> 00:04:56.906
But yeah, it was just like you know, I didn't again, I didn't want to be judgmental about anything and I was like there could be a logical explanation for it and stuff.

00:04:56.906 --> 00:05:01.223
So I was just kind of letting him dive into that and, yeah, never got there.

00:05:01.223 --> 00:05:02.867
So wow, who knows?

00:05:03.108 --> 00:05:07.966
So you had someone else that cheated on you and you confronted the woman?

00:05:07.966 --> 00:05:08.891
Tell us about that.

00:05:08.911 --> 00:05:12.180
That that really was like a Jerry Springer episode.

00:05:12.180 --> 00:05:14.925
And, um, yeah, so I'd been.

00:05:14.925 --> 00:05:18.213
No, it's just Scottsdale right, oh my gosh.

00:05:18.213 --> 00:05:19.033
So I was.

00:05:19.033 --> 00:05:27.338
I was in a relationship with a gentleman and we were living together and I was working a lot and very busy.

00:05:27.338 --> 00:05:28.661
He was also very, very busy.

00:05:28.661 --> 00:05:36.473
So you know, we didn't have a lot of quality time together and you kind of get those red flags a little bit, but you're like you can brush it off to something.

00:05:36.473 --> 00:05:45.533
And I was going with a friend out of town and I get a message on Facebook messenger and was like hey, are you still dating so-and-so?

00:05:45.533 --> 00:05:51.149
And I was like yes, and they were like, oh well, he's also dating my friend.

00:05:51.149 --> 00:05:53.848
And I was like okay.

00:05:53.848 --> 00:06:01.451
So I said would you like to have your friend contact me Because I want to make sure, like we get our like what's truly happening yeah.

00:06:02.221 --> 00:06:04.528
I'm literally what is with me in airports, Okay.

00:06:04.528 --> 00:06:16.023
So I'm literally about to hop on a plane with a friend of mine to help take care of a family member that needed some medical help and, um, so I'm like, okay, so that whole weekend her and I are talking about what's going on.

00:06:16.023 --> 00:06:29.744
She three-way calls him a couple times to confront him about me and just all the things he was saying about we're just roommates and he doesn't want to leave because he feels bad and you're on the call.

00:06:29.744 --> 00:06:30.708
Oh, I'm listening, Wow.

00:06:31.440 --> 00:06:32.526
So, listening to all of this.

00:06:32.526 --> 00:06:42.759
And so then, about two days after I'm gone, I called him and I'm like, just, I try to play it off cool the entire weekend, except for the day before I came home.

00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:48.944
I called him and I was like, hey, I have a question, who's so-and-so?

00:06:48.944 --> 00:06:51.048
And he's like, just you could.

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I could picture the face and I'm like, okay, Um, so you need to be, I don't want you home.

00:06:58.930 --> 00:07:00.903
When I get there, you need to start packing your stuff.

00:07:00.903 --> 00:07:01.505
I will be home.

00:07:01.526 --> 00:07:02.810
I think it was like Monday at five.

00:07:02.810 --> 00:07:14.343
Um, I want all of your stuff gone.

00:07:14.343 --> 00:07:15.367
You will come over and I want this explained to me.

00:07:15.367 --> 00:07:17.759
So he comes over and I start talking with him and I'm just like, tell me about this relationship, what's been going on?

00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:19.942
Like I want to know everything.

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And so then I started asking very purposeful questions about her as well and to make sure, like what he was gonna say.

00:07:29.744 --> 00:07:34.221
And so I was just like, hey, so do you know where I know all this and how I know all this information?

00:07:34.221 --> 00:07:37.548
She was in my stairwell that he couldn't see her.

00:07:37.709 --> 00:07:46.749
so she comes down so she not only got to hear all the stuff he said about her, so that he can't then go to her and be like hey, I actually finally broke it off, smart.

00:07:46.749 --> 00:07:48.274
Yes, so she heard that.

00:07:48.274 --> 00:07:57.225
Then I kicked them both out because she was in the wrong, she knew about me she met me at dinner from the beginning from the beginning he took me to meet her where she was working.

00:07:57.526 --> 00:07:59.291
They because they've known each other from growing up.

00:07:59.291 --> 00:08:02.947
So I was like oh, okay, and he told me about it, so I initially didn't think anything of it.

00:08:02.947 --> 00:08:08.473
But yeah, I really wish like TikTok was around at that time, because that would have been right.

00:08:08.553 --> 00:08:09.800
Yeah, that would have gone viral.

00:08:09.800 --> 00:08:11.968
Yeah, that was, that was impressive.

00:08:12.129 --> 00:08:19.016
But yeah, I wasn't gonna let him, even though I was still frustrated with her, it's you know he, he was doing a lot, but she also knew about me.

00:08:19.016 --> 00:08:23.148
So it's like, yeah, okay, you were both, you were both at wrong here, so how?

00:08:23.148 --> 00:08:28.173
Long were you with him for at that time was like about a year wow, and did they date afterwards?

00:08:28.233 --> 00:08:29.057
or was she done with him?

00:08:29.057 --> 00:08:32.245
Good, so he walked away with no one.

00:08:32.245 --> 00:08:33.528
Ha ha ha karma.

00:08:34.590 --> 00:08:37.821
Right, that was, that was an impressive, yeah, yeah, impressive one.

00:08:37.821 --> 00:08:39.284
So how has dating been for you?

00:08:39.284 --> 00:08:39.985
So how long have you been?

00:08:39.985 --> 00:08:42.392
Single for um, my kids.

00:08:42.392 --> 00:08:44.144
Dad and I, we were together for quite a long time.

00:08:44.144 --> 00:08:49.711
Um, we've been apart since 2018, I believe like right in the beginning of 2018, we separated.

00:08:49.750 --> 00:08:50.600
So why did that end?

00:08:51.221 --> 00:09:03.730
It was just, you know, we are very, very different people and I think we we just do not have the ability to communicate well, um, with us, and we're just just we are such drastic people.

00:09:03.730 --> 00:09:05.352
So I think that it was best.

00:09:05.352 --> 00:09:10.030
And now he's remarried to a lady who I just absolutely adore her.

00:09:10.030 --> 00:09:14.586
So her and I really co-parent very, very well and stuff like that.

00:09:14.586 --> 00:09:21.549
So I think, um, you know, it kind of ended up working out really well, because now they also get another woman in their life who's just absolutely incredible for them.

00:09:21.650 --> 00:09:22.822
So oh, that's wonderful.

00:09:22.841 --> 00:09:24.505
Yeah, yeah and how old are your kids?

00:09:24.505 --> 00:09:26.090
They're 10 and almost 9.

00:09:26.090 --> 00:09:27.533
Oh, fun ages.

00:09:27.533 --> 00:09:28.844
Yes, they're exhausting.

00:09:29.065 --> 00:09:30.850
But so much fun, I just love them.

00:09:31.181 --> 00:09:32.981
It is fun with the ages, like my oldest son.

00:09:32.981 --> 00:09:41.907
Now he's big enough to where he can come to the gym with me and he's finding all of those things out, and my little guy is coming along in life and just doing all the fun things, so it's really great.

00:09:41.907 --> 00:09:42.467
Do you want more?

00:09:42.869 --> 00:09:45.432
No, no, you're done, someone else's bonus kids?

00:09:45.533 --> 00:09:46.955
absolutely, my uterus is weird.

00:09:46.955 --> 00:09:48.927
No, that is not happening.

00:09:50.100 --> 00:09:52.187
So you have your doctorate degree.

00:09:52.206 --> 00:09:53.390
I do yeah, and what was that in.

00:09:53.740 --> 00:09:55.206
It's in a doctorate of nursing practice.

00:09:55.206 --> 00:09:57.245
Oh okay, and you run a mobile IV company.

00:09:57.245 --> 00:10:06.879
I do so.

00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:09.591
I'm the president of of a large national chain of mobile clinics and so I've been doing that since about 2021.

00:10:09.591 --> 00:10:11.258
I've been in this position with this company, so you're super successful and smart.

00:10:11.258 --> 00:10:11.659
It's wonderful, it's.

00:10:11.659 --> 00:10:12.621
It's a lot going from.

00:10:12.621 --> 00:10:22.831
I was a bedside nurse in pediatrics for 18 years and I did a lot in the national or the natural world and I loved that.

00:10:22.831 --> 00:10:27.965
And then just then, just yeah, right before the COVID times or during the COVID times, I'm like I'm just done.

00:10:28.386 --> 00:10:29.890
I needed a break and I I love.

00:10:29.890 --> 00:10:33.890
Now I get to be with my kids a lot more, so I'm a lot more flexible versus the shifts.

00:10:33.890 --> 00:10:36.361
I was always missing things and that was really, really difficult.

00:10:36.361 --> 00:10:43.503
So I'm like, all right, we're gonna hang up those scrubs and now I work in business and it's absolutely wonderful you love it, oh good.

00:10:43.523 --> 00:10:46.408
Oh good, Gosh, I freaking love it, and are you on the dating apps?

00:10:47.168 --> 00:10:48.851
I've tried twice.

00:10:48.851 --> 00:10:50.595
Really that's it.

00:10:50.595 --> 00:10:51.682
Try, yeah, and it's just been.

00:10:51.682 --> 00:10:54.409
I haven't done like Tinder or Bumble or anything else.

00:10:54.409 --> 00:11:09.101
Like I'm just I don't know, I'm I get enough disgusting DMs as it is on, like just Instagram and I'm like you think that's an appropriate message to someone right like I couldn't get myself there, but I was on match like a couple years ago and actually met a really wonderful gentleman.

00:11:09.101 --> 00:11:14.160
We were dating for about nine months and then, um, he had to move across the country.

00:11:14.160 --> 00:11:25.083
So now we're actually still really good friends, um, but yeah, he's all the way across the country, so that wasn't gonna work that sucks, yeah, and is there anywhere else that you find have found success meeting men?

00:11:25.104 --> 00:11:25.804
do you meet men at work?

00:11:26.525 --> 00:11:27.488
no, because I work from home.

00:11:27.488 --> 00:11:36.759
So and I, yeah, yeah yeah, we have, like we have a large group of people, but it's all work related and that's not something I would get into.

00:11:36.759 --> 00:11:43.514
But, um, yeah, so I'm between being home working at the gym or sometimes when I go out with friends.

00:11:43.514 --> 00:11:48.302
Um, it's, yeah, to meet men in the wild is kind of interesting.

00:11:48.302 --> 00:11:49.525
Like no one talks anymore.

00:11:49.525 --> 00:11:52.030
That's so depressing.

00:11:52.171 --> 00:11:53.134
What a world.

00:11:53.279 --> 00:11:55.065
It is, it is, it is.

00:11:55.225 --> 00:11:59.461
And it would be nice to meet someone at the gym, but when I'm at the gym I don't want to talk to anyone.

00:11:59.461 --> 00:12:01.644
I just want to like go get my workout and go home.

00:12:01.884 --> 00:12:13.509
Right, no one's really talking to each other, or I think because of like so many horrible videos out there, it's like it's like the men are scared because of the videos that women post and it's just like yeah.

00:12:14.032 --> 00:12:16.543
I'm like if someone comes up and talks to me in the gym, I'm so nice.

00:12:16.543 --> 00:12:19.110
I'd be like this lovely old gentleman.

00:12:19.110 --> 00:12:20.491
He was oh God, he was the cutest.

00:12:20.491 --> 00:12:24.474
Um, he looks like a guy who used to like bodybuild, with Arnold back on like.

00:12:24.474 --> 00:12:29.655
Newport Beach or something and he was in the gym every single day and he would just randomly.

00:12:29.655 --> 00:12:30.755
Can I work in sure?

00:12:31.157 --> 00:12:37.123
oh, I'll 100% you come on like you're just so nice and I think he was in his 70s now, but he worked out every day.

00:12:37.123 --> 00:12:38.288
He was at the gym every day.

00:12:38.288 --> 00:12:40.740
I think that was just kind of his his life there.

00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:41.541
He was the sweetest.

00:12:41.541 --> 00:12:44.404
But I'm like, if someone approaches me in the gym, I'm not an ass.

00:12:44.404 --> 00:12:46.607
Yeah, like, be nice, be courteous.

00:12:46.607 --> 00:12:51.975
I mean, if someone's going to like be rude, I think that would be a good place to meet people, because you're au naturel.

00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:56.721
Like typically no makeup, no hair, you know Well.

00:12:56.721 --> 00:12:58.203
But the girls now they're doing these.

00:12:58.203 --> 00:13:01.648
Like there was a video, it was like like a photo or whatever.

00:13:01.648 --> 00:13:08.216
That was kind of going viral and it was this girl and she had on her like little short, short, shorts.

00:13:08.336 --> 00:13:08.635
Right.

00:13:15.019 --> 00:13:26.808
And then the bra top and then her T-shirt like tucked in so that her butt was like out, and she was doing a video and there was a guy standing at a weight bench like kind of kitty corner to her and was like looking at her and it said it was something like her.

00:13:26.808 --> 00:13:29.565
Like she turned and was like why are you staring at me?

00:13:29.565 --> 00:13:32.471
And he was like why is your ass out in the gym?

00:13:33.221 --> 00:13:37.269
like everyone's gonna look, exactly like everyone's gonna stare at you.

00:13:37.629 --> 00:14:04.861
So it's yeah, social media has created this whole gym environment where it's turned into this social media moment for a lot of so many fitness influencers I've heard that lifetime fitness it's all influences there and that would kind of annoy me if you go to work out and then everyone's on their phone filming like yeah, dude, that's kind of annoying over tripods and everything else, oh, tripods yes tripods are set up like.

00:14:04.903 --> 00:14:05.826
That's how they set, that's how.

00:14:05.826 --> 00:14:07.903
How else do you expect to get the full?

00:14:07.923 --> 00:14:10.702
body stuff, like that's what this video was Like.

00:14:10.702 --> 00:14:15.600
She had her camera set up and she was filming and there was a guy looking at her.

00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:20.687
Because what are you going to do when there's a half naked person filming themselves at?

00:14:20.707 --> 00:14:23.043
the gym and you're trying to use the space.

00:14:23.082 --> 00:14:33.629
If something's hanging out, I'm going to look at it right, exactly, exactly exactly that's why I'm glad I work at an EOS, because there's no tripods there, no influences come to my house because I'm.

00:14:34.291 --> 00:14:36.657
I will never meet a man at the gym.

00:14:36.657 --> 00:14:39.046
I know I'm like comes to my house.

00:14:39.466 --> 00:14:40.509
Oh my gosh, it's terrible.

00:14:40.509 --> 00:14:45.330
Like there's a couple gyms that I'll go to, depending on, like, if I have my son with me or I just have a really quick workout.

00:14:45.330 --> 00:14:45.892
I need to get in.

00:14:45.892 --> 00:14:47.384
But yeah, I think that's right.

00:14:47.384 --> 00:14:51.572
It's so many men don't want to approach women because of that.

00:14:51.572 --> 00:15:02.991
They're going to be like, oh my gosh, it's a video up and now I'm going to be called a creep and a predator online.

00:15:03.232 --> 00:15:04.575
I'm going to end ass out.

00:15:04.654 --> 00:15:09.086
So it's just like you're damned if you do and I'm not the girl at the gym in skimpy clothes Like I can't.

00:15:09.086 --> 00:15:09.727
I'm not either.

00:15:09.727 --> 00:15:10.169
I'm sorry.

00:15:10.470 --> 00:15:11.131
I'm not either.

00:15:11.131 --> 00:15:16.442
I'll work on some glutes, but it does not need to be for everyone to see, and I'm like no, so I'm in.

00:15:16.442 --> 00:15:17.024
I'm in pants.

00:15:19.003 --> 00:15:20.504
I have some crop tops, boobs falling out.

00:15:20.524 --> 00:15:21.566
Like I just can't.

00:15:21.566 --> 00:15:23.308
I remember one time I went to the gym on my slippers.

00:15:23.308 --> 00:15:26.133
My sister took a picture of me.

00:15:26.133 --> 00:15:27.033
Everyone was making fun of me.

00:15:27.033 --> 00:15:28.076
That's so gross.

00:15:28.076 --> 00:15:37.000
So you had a boyfriend cheat on you with a stripper and you saw the text oh yeah.

00:15:37.041 --> 00:15:37.760
That was cute.

00:15:37.760 --> 00:15:41.625
Um, yeah, I happened to.

00:15:41.625 --> 00:15:53.456
Just, you know, I was with someone for a short period of time and I kind of started like feeling some things like why are you coming home from work a little extra late?

00:15:53.456 --> 00:15:54.966
Like things are kind of weird.

00:15:54.966 --> 00:16:09.783
And for some odd reason he just went to the bathroom and picked up their phone and I was just like, and I saw I looked through the text and there was one text and it was only two messages and it said hey, I'm so sorry, I won't see you, I can't come play tonight.

00:16:09.783 --> 00:16:15.032
And I was like that's weird, you don't text a guy friend that.

00:16:15.032 --> 00:16:21.914
And then, um, the response back was oh, that's so sad, I was hoping you would be here and I was like, all right.

00:16:21.934 --> 00:16:31.291
So I sat on that for a little bit and then kind of after a couple of days, I was watching like when he was coming home from work or when he would be off work and talking to me and things like that.

00:16:31.291 --> 00:16:36.259
And then, um, yeah, so I finally confronted, I was like, hey, what's this?

00:16:36.259 --> 00:16:44.996
I took a screenshot and kind of fumbled with the swords a little bit and then was just like oh, so I've been playing poker at strip clubs, like after work.

00:16:44.996 --> 00:16:52.215
And I was like, okay, well, one, why wouldn't you tell me that number one, because most of the time I probably wouldn't care if you said something to me.

00:16:52.215 --> 00:16:56.535
And then two, why is one of the dancers texting you?

00:16:56.535 --> 00:16:58.145
Because I asked.

00:16:58.145 --> 00:16:58.748
I was like, well, who was that?

00:16:58.748 --> 00:16:59.570
Why are they checking in with you?

00:16:59.570 --> 00:17:00.774
Oh, it's one of the dancers.

00:17:00.774 --> 00:17:01.294
What is she like?

00:17:01.294 --> 00:17:05.354
Also a coordinator, like for poker nights or something like right

00:17:05.374 --> 00:17:05.734
why is she?

00:17:05.734 --> 00:17:10.732
Texting you and that he couldn't um and is that common to play poker at strip clubs?

00:17:10.732 --> 00:17:12.396
I don't think so.

00:17:12.517 --> 00:17:15.411
I've never heard about it, but I mean, I guess people go for chicken wings too.

00:17:15.652 --> 00:17:24.578
So you know, maybe they do have some good food sometimes yeah yeah, yeah, strip clubs usually have pretty good food.

00:17:24.705 --> 00:17:26.092
Wow, interesting, I never knew that.

00:17:26.815 --> 00:17:35.084
Yeah, I've never but I've never seen a group playing poker at a strip club, to be honest yeah, I was like okay, so we we ended things after.

00:17:35.104 --> 00:17:45.840
Yeah, we ended things after that that's kind of disrespectful, because if you're sleeping with a stripper and then coming home and being intimate with you, like who knows what he's bringing home, you know, and things he's spreading, that's disrespectful.

00:17:46.262 --> 00:17:47.648
Oh, 100%, I'm just like.

00:17:47.648 --> 00:17:52.292
You know, I think so many people just can't be honest, whether it's just like hey, I'm not feeling your vibe.

00:17:52.292 --> 00:17:56.256
Can we just not like, say something?

00:17:56.256 --> 00:18:09.525
I think that's what I've noticed with a lot of people that I have talked to, a lot of men that I've talked to is it's so hard for people to just be honest about what they're feeling, like they either don't want to hurt somebody or whatever.

00:18:09.525 --> 00:18:12.893
Like I'm perfectly happy to block you on social media, like if it's not vibing.

00:18:12.893 --> 00:18:16.461
Or you're sending me photos of you in your underwear and I'm telling you that's not my thing.

00:18:16.461 --> 00:18:16.789
Like it's not vibing.

00:18:16.789 --> 00:18:18.317
Or you're sending me photos of you and your underwear and I'm telling you that's not my thing.

00:18:18.317 --> 00:18:19.219
Like it's.

00:18:19.219 --> 00:18:22.321
The amount of messages are just kind of gross.

00:18:22.402 --> 00:18:28.848
Yeah I feel it's more hurtful in the long run to not be honest right, oh for sure yeah, for sure I'm just like, just say you don't want to.

00:18:29.751 --> 00:18:32.041
You want to go bang over the people like then please go do that.

00:18:32.061 --> 00:18:34.467
there's nothing wrong with that, but just don't lie about it.

00:18:34.467 --> 00:18:37.029
Just be honest, yeah for sure.

00:18:37.109 --> 00:18:39.432
I ran into my friend's husband at a strip club once.

00:18:39.432 --> 00:18:40.954
Did she know he was there?

00:18:40.954 --> 00:18:43.778
No, she did after we ran into him.

00:18:43.778 --> 00:18:45.201
What yeah?

00:18:45.221 --> 00:18:45.760
Was he in trouble?

00:18:46.144 --> 00:18:47.811
Yeah, I think so.

00:18:47.811 --> 00:18:49.692
I'm sure he was.

00:18:49.692 --> 00:18:56.118
They sort of played it off that she knew that he would go there sometimes.

00:18:56.118 --> 00:19:00.151
But no, know they she that she knew that he would go there sometimes?

00:19:00.151 --> 00:19:22.673
But no, I have a girlfriend who's kind of into girls and so she likes she always, you know, she likes to go to the club every once in a while and it was her birthday and typically I don't go with them, um, but it was her birthday and it was like, yeah, whatever I'll go, you know, and we get there, and it was like four or five of us girls and we were sitting at the table and, like the server had just brought our bottle and you know, we were kind of getting settled in.

00:19:22.744 --> 00:19:42.412
And I looked up and across the, I made eye contact with him and I was like, as I was about to say, oh my gosh, I think that's he looks up and we make eye contact and we were like, yeah, cause, I feel like that's when it becomes wrong, because had he been honest about it with his wife, she probably would have been okay with it.

00:19:42.464 --> 00:19:45.029
The fact that he's lying, that's what makes it wrong.

00:19:45.065 --> 00:19:50.047
And the fact that it was happening so frequently, I'm like okay, I'm just not okay with that.

00:19:50.186 --> 00:19:56.056
Well, cause if was he going multiple times a week, I believe so yeah.

00:19:56.236 --> 00:20:04.228
Yeah, and I'm just like okay, this is that's a lot, that's excessive.

00:20:04.228 --> 00:20:04.778
That's excessive.

00:20:04.778 --> 00:20:08.279
If you want to get a group of guys together and that's what you guys want to go do on a Friday night or something like, I'm not going to be the one to be like you can't go.

00:20:08.299 --> 00:20:08.920
Like I don't.

00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:12.580
I don't care, if I trust you, then I'm going to trust you to go do what you, what you do.

00:20:12.580 --> 00:20:14.321
But yeah, that was just yeah.

00:20:14.321 --> 00:20:16.061
I'm like don't, don't lie about things.

00:20:16.623 --> 00:20:17.923
So what are you looking for in a partner?

00:20:18.623 --> 00:20:27.038
You know, I think one of the hardest things is is what I'm looking for is so hard to find, which is I always say it's like my um is.

00:20:27.178 --> 00:20:42.237
I love this psychic that I've gone to and he's told me, like you were married to a Viking in your past life and he was like that's why you're very attracted to very masculine men and masculinity not just in the way that they look, but it's more the vibe that they carry themselves.

00:20:42.237 --> 00:20:45.499
Like I'm very, very big on traditional roles of men and women.

00:20:45.499 --> 00:20:49.642
Men are supposed to lead and women are supposed to support that process of leading.

00:20:49.642 --> 00:21:20.644
And I think that just in the culture that we're in, women have had to take over such a huge role of being independent and being dominant that men take a step back, but then they also take a step back because women aren't being supportive of them, and so I feel like we've just kind of like lost all of that, and so I think that that's what's so hard to find, and I'm like I typically will date men who are mid to later 40s, because there is that's a little more found in that age range.

00:21:20.765 --> 00:21:22.492
It's more ingrained in them, right.

00:21:22.684 --> 00:21:28.894
Versus, like men in their 30s have seen and this is my experience is talk with me for a little bit.

00:21:28.894 --> 00:21:31.634
They'll see a photo of me and they're like, oh, I desire you Cool bro.

00:21:31.634 --> 00:21:33.169
Like got it?

00:21:33.169 --> 00:21:34.614
Why?

00:21:34.614 --> 00:21:36.608
Like I'll fight back.

00:21:36.608 --> 00:21:38.996
I'm just like why you know nothing about me.

00:21:38.996 --> 00:21:44.016
You just saw some photos and you're like, hey, and I'm like, no, like, I just don't.

00:21:44.144 --> 00:21:45.550
You know nothing about me, right?

00:21:45.644 --> 00:22:00.145
And that's where I'm just like OK, ok, like stuff, like comments like that, or this one gentleman yesterday I had to block him on social media because he would send me like photos of him in his underwear, like posing in front of the mirror, and I'm like, I'm just not this kind of girl Like, and he was like would you let me toss you around the room?

00:22:00.145 --> 00:22:04.755
And I was like you've, you don't know me.

00:22:04.755 --> 00:22:07.486
I mean, you look big enough, you could sure.

00:22:07.486 --> 00:22:12.633
But I was like, are really, those are the messages you think are going to attract women?

00:22:12.633 --> 00:22:13.394
I just don't get it.

00:22:13.394 --> 00:22:15.116
And what are your deal breakers?

00:22:15.698 --> 00:22:20.148
Deal breakers, um, a big thing for me is smoking or a really unhealthy lifestyle.

00:22:20.148 --> 00:22:28.974
If it's someone who just have cognizant of health and you know, if you eat fast food a couple of times here and there, like I don't really care.

00:22:28.974 --> 00:22:33.551
But I think people who are just generally kind of an unhealthy thing, they're not active at all.

00:22:33.551 --> 00:22:36.957
You don't have to be in the gym lifting weights five days a week, but just be active.

00:22:36.957 --> 00:22:38.338
If we want to go for a hike, let's go for a hike.

00:22:38.338 --> 00:22:43.415
If we want to go to the lake, like, let's go, not just sitting around playing video games all day.

00:22:43.415 --> 00:22:44.298
I think those are.

00:22:44.298 --> 00:22:50.051
So I think it's like keeping up with yourself is very healthy to me, um.

00:22:50.051 --> 00:22:54.396
So, yeah, smoking's a huge no, um, and I love people who have a passion for something.

00:22:54.396 --> 00:23:02.554
I am someone who it doesn't matter how much money you make, I don't really care about that but it's more like have a passion for doing what you do.

00:23:02.554 --> 00:23:08.412
If you really hate your job and you're not working towards something else, those are deal breakers for me.

00:23:08.904 --> 00:23:10.290
Yeah, that's unattractive.

00:23:10.290 --> 00:23:10.645
And what?

00:23:10.665 --> 00:23:11.769
do you do in your free time?

00:23:11.769 --> 00:23:12.413
What are your hobbies?

00:23:14.086 --> 00:23:19.847
You know I'm really kind of boring, but I'll kind of do anything if there's something to go do.

00:23:19.847 --> 00:23:24.178
I don't care whether it's going to a farmer's market, going to the lake, getting a hike.

00:23:24.178 --> 00:23:25.950
You want to go to a painting class, a dancing class?

00:23:25.950 --> 00:23:30.873
I'm like if someone's like, hey, this is going on, I'll be excited you'll try anything you're, I will go out and do whatever.

00:23:30.913 --> 00:23:31.655
It doesn't matter to me.

00:23:31.655 --> 00:23:44.452
I will more than likely half the time make a fool out of myself, but if it's entertaining like, let's go well, and it's hard to have hobbies true hobbies when you have two kids and when you work full time and you have kids and you go to the gym, where do you find the time?

00:23:44.492 --> 00:23:49.435
yeah, sanity yeah, I don't have that yet, but I'm finding it no it's.

00:23:49.576 --> 00:24:01.468
I think it's it's priorities, right, like some people be like you have such a busy life and I'm like, because that's I'm at right now, but as soon as there's other things that my mind needs to go to, then you make it work and you, you fit those things in.

00:24:01.468 --> 00:24:04.977
But yeah, right now I'm just like someone's doing something.

00:24:04.977 --> 00:24:05.684
Sure, let's go.

00:24:05.684 --> 00:24:09.751
Yeah, yeah, I'm just kind of an up for just about anything kind of person.

00:24:09.811 --> 00:24:13.356
But you're ready for it, I'm ready for it.

00:24:13.837 --> 00:24:14.699
The Keep.

00:24:14.719 --> 00:24:17.423
More Minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies.

00:24:17.423 --> 00:24:18.948
They help you keep more in your wallet.

00:24:18.948 --> 00:24:21.394
We help you keep more in your relationship.

00:24:21.394 --> 00:24:30.076
So we've got listener questions and today's question comes from Roberta.

00:24:30.076 --> 00:24:35.009
Roberta asks my partner and I have completely different love languages.

00:24:35.009 --> 00:24:39.739
I'm all about words of affection, while they show love by buying stuff for me.

00:24:39.739 --> 00:24:42.493
I know they care, but I don't always feel it.

00:24:42.493 --> 00:24:45.798
How can we bridge the gap without making it a big issue?

00:24:45.817 --> 00:24:47.424
Oh, I love that.

00:24:47.424 --> 00:25:03.990
I think so many people have like such different connection points and I've always loved different games or words or like if you want to have a big jar, and it's like how can you make me happy, like, put 20 things in there of little things that you could do, and each day pick a card out and say how can I do that?

00:25:03.990 --> 00:25:06.557
And so you might be surprised you never know what it is.

00:25:06.557 --> 00:25:10.940
And then you kind of learn what that other person needs, like I've loved doing that.

00:25:11.682 --> 00:25:15.131
That's cute, those are really cute options that is kind of like a deal breaker for me.

00:25:15.131 --> 00:25:21.967
If he's just buying you stuff and doesn't use words or affection, you know, if he just thinks he can buy your affection, right.

00:25:22.208 --> 00:25:27.204
But she's saying that his love language is gifts, so he's not trying to buy her affection.

00:25:27.204 --> 00:25:38.557
What she's saying is his love language is gift giving so he thinks that's what she wants and so by him expressing his love in that way, he's thoughtfully picking out gifts that he feels like she will like.

00:25:38.557 --> 00:25:58.082
So if that's his love language, that's not the way that she receives love, so I think they need to just talk about the different styles and how their love language, her way of receiving love, is to receive words of affection.

00:25:58.505 --> 00:26:07.911
she needs to let him know that she would prefer him to be more wordy or whatever, than and it will save him a lot of money, Right?

00:26:09.244 --> 00:26:11.874
But again, it all comes down to communication.

00:26:11.874 --> 00:26:13.788
Yeah, she should just let him know.

00:26:13.788 --> 00:26:16.375
Hey, I prefer you just to do A, B, C and D.

00:26:16.375 --> 00:26:17.227
No need to spend all the money.

00:26:17.227 --> 00:26:17.635
Yeah, she should just let him know.

00:26:17.635 --> 00:26:18.037
Hey, I prefer you just to do A, B, C and D.

00:26:18.037 --> 00:26:18.544
No need to spend all the money.

00:26:18.544 --> 00:26:19.858
Yeah, Right, Because he can still.

00:26:20.439 --> 00:26:23.661
I feel like you can still give.

00:26:23.661 --> 00:26:37.555
If that's truly his love language is gift giving, he can still find ways to give her little gifts, but to give her also the words of affection along with it, so he can sort of to give her also the words of affection along with it, so he can sort of note.

00:26:37.575 --> 00:26:54.969
But that's what I'm saying, like merge merge his two love languages of giving a gift, so leaving a note but then kind of morph it into what she needs the words where it's, where it's a gift but it's also including the words yeah, yeah, so what's your love language?

00:26:56.252 --> 00:26:56.714
It's so funny.

00:26:56.714 --> 00:27:00.569
It's not one of the typical ones.

00:27:00.569 --> 00:27:01.413
Um, is attention to detail really?

00:27:01.413 --> 00:27:02.636
Yes, if I'm.

00:27:02.636 --> 00:27:06.868
If I tell you, I have a really important meeting on tuesday at 9 am.

00:27:06.868 --> 00:27:08.413
Remember that.

00:27:08.413 --> 00:27:10.156
Don't ask me tuesday morning hey, what are you doing today?

00:27:10.156 --> 00:27:12.611
And then tuesday afternoon hey, how was your day?

00:27:12.611 --> 00:27:17.112
Like, I love when someone's actually listening to me and puts that in.

00:27:17.112 --> 00:27:19.549
Like, if it's something really big, put it in your calendar.

00:27:19.549 --> 00:27:25.031
When I say it, um, things like that are super huge to me is paying attention to those little tiny details.

00:27:25.031 --> 00:27:26.434
I'm like that.

00:27:26.434 --> 00:27:29.449
If you, that will make my entire day.

00:27:29.449 --> 00:27:39.792
If you knew one thing I was doing that day and you asked me how it was without me having to remind you, yeah, that is such a turnoff when you're telling your significant other something and then days later he'll ask the same question.

00:27:40.074 --> 00:27:43.471
But they just don't listen, they just tune out and then they ask you the same question.

00:27:43.471 --> 00:27:46.027
Dude, we just talked about this, right have?

00:27:46.047 --> 00:27:47.269
you done the love language?

00:27:47.269 --> 00:27:50.096
No test there's a test yeah, oh, I haven't done it.

00:27:50.096 --> 00:27:58.960
No, that's like where that comes from those love languages oh, yeah, I was dating a guy years ago and he asked me to do it so what is your love?

00:27:59.204 --> 00:28:04.115
language, mine is acts of service is there one that's like spending time quality?

00:28:04.135 --> 00:28:05.847
time okay I think that's mine.

00:28:06.028 --> 00:28:20.036
I haven't done the test, but I just that's most important to me is spending time yeah, with my significant other, yeah, so we are gonna look at seven online dating statistics here are seven interesting facts and statistics about online dating.

00:28:20.644 --> 00:28:29.256
The typical length of a relationship between people who meet online is 18.5 months instead of 42 months for those who meet offline, which makes sense.

00:28:29.256 --> 00:28:30.929
Right, you meet offline.

00:28:30.929 --> 00:28:32.694
Maybe that's interesting.

00:28:32.694 --> 00:28:43.723
Women who sent a message after matching up with a profile sorry, women sent a message after matching up with a profile at a rate of 57%, compared to only 7% of males.

00:28:43.723 --> 00:28:46.353
Men need to step it up, like maybe this is the issue.

00:28:46.353 --> 00:28:48.152
There's that stat where men don't get many dates.

00:28:48.152 --> 00:28:52.194
Maybe it's because they're not taking the initiative and sending a message Like why wouldn't you?

00:28:52.194 --> 00:28:53.645
I don't get that, yeah.

00:28:53.665 --> 00:28:54.307
I don't know either.

00:28:54.307 --> 00:29:04.251
Someone sends you a like you send one back and then it's like crickets, it's like ugh.

00:29:04.251 --> 00:29:07.214
The one gentleman that I was dating for that time period that moved.

00:29:07.214 --> 00:29:08.848
I did send him a message first.

00:29:08.848 --> 00:29:11.476
Oh, you did, oh you took initiative.

00:29:11.496 --> 00:29:12.116
That's great I did.

00:29:12.345 --> 00:29:20.010
We should start asking people that, because a lot of our guests are on the dating apps asking who messages who first.

00:29:20.010 --> 00:29:23.018
Because that's why they designed one of the apps.

00:29:23.384 --> 00:29:23.545
Bumble.

00:29:23.545 --> 00:29:23.672
Which one?

00:29:23.672 --> 00:29:23.778
Who first?

00:29:23.778 --> 00:29:24.451
Because that's why they designed one of the apps?

00:29:24.451 --> 00:29:24.618
Which one?

00:29:24.582 --> 00:29:25.823
bumble where the woman has to message.

00:29:25.823 --> 00:29:35.750
So I always thought that on all of the other apps men were doing the messaging first, but according to the stat they're not.

00:29:35.832 --> 00:29:37.977
No according to the stat, only seven percent of men.

00:29:37.977 --> 00:29:40.553
Interesting, yeah, huh which you would think it would be the opposite.

00:29:40.553 --> 00:29:41.476
Right, I would think so for sure.

00:29:41.496 --> 00:29:43.101
Yeah, I mean traditionally you would think that would be the opposite.

00:29:43.101 --> 00:29:44.144
Right, I would think so for sure.

00:29:44.144 --> 00:29:48.663
Yeah, I mean, traditionally you would think that the men are the ones that are initiating the conversation.

00:29:48.805 --> 00:29:51.211
And because typically women want to feel pursued.

00:29:51.211 --> 00:29:52.676
Right, right, yeah.

00:29:52.676 --> 00:29:58.076
So only 36% of women swipe right on profiles they are interested in.

00:29:58.076 --> 00:29:59.832
What's the point of not swiping?

00:30:03.884 --> 00:30:05.185
Like why wouldn't you swipe if you're interested in the profile?

00:30:05.185 --> 00:30:09.210
I don't know, I think sometimes maybe it's if they're doing the first one.

00:30:09.210 --> 00:30:18.459
It's a level of rejection, like I think I had intimidation initially because I'm like okay, I'm going to tell this guy hey, I think you're attractive.

00:30:18.459 --> 00:30:19.259
Really, profiles are.

00:30:19.259 --> 00:30:20.741
Do I find you attractive or do I not?

00:30:20.761 --> 00:30:22.912
Yeah, Like not that many people are.

00:30:22.912 --> 00:30:25.028
The profiles are do I find you attractive or do I not?

00:30:25.028 --> 00:30:25.890
Yeah, like not that many people are.

00:30:25.890 --> 00:30:29.819
Swipe is right because that, because you don't really get to know the person, just based on their profile yeah.

00:30:29.819 --> 00:30:34.698
I mean, you get to know a snippet but you don't really get to know if there's someone that you want to date.

00:30:34.698 --> 00:30:38.933
So it is just like a first yeah, like are you attractive?

00:30:39.194 --> 00:30:49.696
like rejection in a way like oh, this is a very attractive man, I'm not even gonna, not even gonna try so do they swipe left to say no, because then it ruins their chances all together.

00:30:49.957 --> 00:30:53.895
Or yeah, can you not swipe at all on a profile on the apps.

00:30:53.895 --> 00:30:56.746
You, you have to, you have to swipe one way or the other, right?

00:30:56.807 --> 00:31:05.415
yeah, I believe so yeah, and then I think, but they can still like you, and then all of a sudden you'll see all right, I know that's how, like if I've said no to someone.

00:31:05.415 --> 00:31:07.432
They'll pop up later and it's like, hey, they like you.

00:31:07.432 --> 00:31:09.532
And I was like, oh no, okay, okay.

00:31:09.846 --> 00:31:16.009
So, even when they are not attracted to them, 22% of males said that they casually like the majority of people's social media profiles.

00:31:16.009 --> 00:31:20.086
Anyways, I can see that Sometimes.

00:31:20.167 --> 00:31:28.335
I feel like I've heard this from friends, that the apps are sort of just like a way to get more social media followers.

00:31:28.335 --> 00:31:33.115
Like there are people that are on the dating apps just to grow their social media.

00:31:33.355 --> 00:31:34.657
Oh, I'm sure yeah.

00:31:35.184 --> 00:31:36.351
That's such an invasion of privacy.

00:31:36.905 --> 00:31:39.375
I'm like, yeah, you will never find my social media on there.

00:31:40.167 --> 00:31:42.468
That's how I am too, you'll never find my social media period.

00:31:42.468 --> 00:31:44.173
No, if you have access to my social media on there, that's how I am too.

00:31:44.173 --> 00:31:45.096
You'll never find my social media period.

00:31:45.096 --> 00:31:47.885
No, if you have access to my social media like, you know me probably, or I don't know, that's how I am too.

00:31:47.885 --> 00:31:51.575
I have to have met you in real life for us to be friends on social media.

00:31:52.016 --> 00:31:56.869
Right, but you know what I think some people, if I'll like, tag a gym that I was working out with it's.

00:31:56.869 --> 00:31:58.853
There was a gentleman I was dating for about four months.

00:31:58.853 --> 00:32:02.117
Um, that ended in November and that was a world.

00:32:02.117 --> 00:32:04.260
Oh my gosh, that that one blew my mind.

00:32:04.260 --> 00:32:15.917
Um, I've never blocked and deleted someone so quick, um, but we started talking on Instagram and I think that he knew, like an owner of the gym that I like going to and somehow our profile.

00:32:15.917 --> 00:32:23.569
I don't know who followed who first, but then, um, I somehow yeah, it was just seeing each other's stuff and liking and whatnot, and then, all of a sudden, we started talking.

00:32:23.569 --> 00:32:31.093
So I'm like I've talked to more people, versus I'm not really like I said, I haven't done a ton of dating stuff, apps and whatever.

00:32:31.093 --> 00:32:37.630
But, um, social media, like, there are people that I'm like, oh, that was so cool, I was there too and I'm like, do I know you, do I not?

00:32:37.630 --> 00:32:38.751
Cause you've got a weird profile name.

00:32:38.791 --> 00:32:44.699
Maybe I do, and then you'll start talking and I'm like, oh, I don't know this person and you never know what happens from there.

00:32:44.699 --> 00:32:45.559
Right, it's true.

00:32:45.880 --> 00:32:49.750
So here are things that make a man insanely unattractive, but they don't realize it.

00:32:49.750 --> 00:33:04.957
So talking about themselves the entire time yes, so they think they sound so cool, but they don't, when they keep saying they're a good guy and they support women and their mother raised them so well.

00:33:04.957 --> 00:33:08.026
I had an ex that would do that and he was the worst.

00:33:08.067 --> 00:33:10.397
He was a cheater well, it's kind of like money.

00:33:10.397 --> 00:33:13.951
If you have to talk about how much money you have, you probably don't really have that much money.

00:33:13.951 --> 00:33:20.814
It's true if you have to talk about how nice of a guy you are you probably aren't probably trying to cover up and how alpha you are yes, if.

00:33:20.814 --> 00:33:28.987
I have one more guy tell me he's an alpha male, like without me like without us like talking about it?

00:33:29.007 --> 00:33:30.188
no, you're not.

00:33:30.188 --> 00:33:46.478
When a guy is a bad father or an absent father, yes, yeah, being rude, poor hygiene, condescending communication style, putting other women down, we had a guest that she went on one date with a guy that was referring to all his exes as the C word.

00:33:46.478 --> 00:33:48.767
That's a deal breaker, cause then he's probably going to refer to you as that.

00:33:48.767 --> 00:33:51.073
You know for sure this one.

00:33:51.073 --> 00:33:52.938
I have an issue with telling dirty jokes.

00:33:52.938 --> 00:33:57.605
I think you have to read your audience, cause that's how my husband got me in bed was all his dirty jokes.

00:33:57.605 --> 00:34:02.832
You know, I'm English, we have that kind of sense of humor, so I feel, then, you have to read your audience on that one.

00:34:03.653 --> 00:34:07.396
Being an alpha male, I'm not being able to cook or clean.

00:34:07.396 --> 00:34:15.699
Um, oh, this kind of bugs me when guys use sweetie, darling, baby, I hon, so it's kind of thing.

00:34:15.699 --> 00:34:21.094
So my husband, he'll be on the phone to you know the banker or you know person making reservations and oh, thanks, hon.

00:34:21.094 --> 00:34:21.815
And I don't know why.

00:34:21.815 --> 00:34:26.574
That just bugs me, I know, and he thinks it's endearing, he thinks it's like I'm not a, it's being nice.

00:34:26.574 --> 00:34:28.246
It just kind of bugs me, I don't know why.

00:34:28.246 --> 00:34:30.693
Yeah, hon, I feel it's a little condescending.

00:34:30.693 --> 00:34:32.476
I don't know why, I don't know.

00:34:32.476 --> 00:34:33.811
How do you feel about those hon?

00:34:33.851 --> 00:34:34.655
sweetie darling.

00:34:34.655 --> 00:34:35.742
I think it kind of depends.

00:34:35.742 --> 00:34:42.597
Sometimes I probably wouldn't even notice it for the most part, but I think, like working with kids for so long, I do that to everybody.

00:34:42.637 --> 00:34:43.639
Yeah, almost everybody.

00:34:43.639 --> 00:34:44.260
I'm on the phone.

00:34:44.740 --> 00:34:46.063
Yeah, no, but I do with adults.

00:34:46.063 --> 00:34:54.925
Oh yeah, it's like people that I work with that are our managers, I'm like, and I think with women it's different, but when it's men to women, I don't know yeah.

00:34:54.925 --> 00:34:59.105
I wonder if I've even noticed that, like, I'm going to start now paying attention, right.

00:34:59.826 --> 00:35:01.527
Men who can't admit they're wrong I hate that.

00:35:01.527 --> 00:35:06.311
Or men who can't say sorry, making any conversation sexual.

00:35:06.311 --> 00:35:11.235
I had a massage today and then he says I'll come over and give you a massage Again.

00:35:11.275 --> 00:35:12.916
I think read your audience.

00:35:12.916 --> 00:35:13.878
It is read your audience.

00:35:13.878 --> 00:35:19.402
But I think that's unattractive when a guy yeah, when you're talking and he makes everything sexual.

00:35:20.405 --> 00:35:20.826
When it's everything.

00:35:20.826 --> 00:35:24.672
Another quote is must be nice to be in your own bed tonight after traveling.

00:35:24.733 --> 00:35:32.717
And then he would say would be nicer if I was in your bed or like when you're like oh, I just got out of the shower and it's like, oh, why didn't you invite me?

00:35:32.717 --> 00:35:34.369
And it's like like, do you have?

00:35:34.369 --> 00:35:35.931
Like, do we have to go there?

00:35:36.072 --> 00:35:37.215
I get the, send me a photo.

00:35:37.715 --> 00:35:45.351
Oh god, yeah, yeah, well, my husband we've been married for, we've been together for almost 10 years, but he'll you know if I'm talking about getting a facial with a friend.00:35:45.351 --> 00:35:47.092


He'll be like oh, I'll give you a facial for free.00:35:47.112 --> 00:35:47.733


That's different.00:35:47.733 --> 00:35:50.697


You guys are married you haven't just met.00:35:50.697 --> 00:35:52.378


I'll need conditioner.00:35:52.418 --> 00:35:54.601


Oh, I'll give you a protein and rich conditioner.00:35:58.485 --> 00:35:59.025


Like being a nurse.00:35:59.025 --> 00:36:00.789


We are vulgar, we have really bad potty mouths.00:36:00.789 --> 00:36:03.496


Everything can be a joke for the most part.00:36:03.496 --> 00:36:13.612


So I'm like probably people that are that go that direction I would find incredibly funny, just because it's we use such horrible humor to get through our day.00:36:13.773 --> 00:36:24.693


So I'm used to it, but it's like when it's so constant and it's especially when you don't know the person yet, I'm just like and I'm out like it's very true if you don't know the person and they're trying to pursue you, yeah, and get to know you.00:36:24.813 --> 00:36:27.798


It's inappropriate arrogance, being preachy.00:36:27.798 --> 00:36:28.364


I hate that.00:36:28.364 --> 00:36:38.329


When guys are being preachy and think they're holier than thou and they're trying to teach you something, when they don't listen, when they interrupt when you speak, not asking questions, don't you hate that?00:36:38.329 --> 00:36:57.414


Yes, when, like, they just talk about themselves and you try to talk about yourself and they just revert the conversation back to themselves again, nose hair prominently hanging out that is that's gonna get you right, that would be so distracting but to be on this list is hilarious.00:36:57.514 --> 00:36:59.318


Like who made this list?00:36:59.318 --> 00:37:02.809


Who do they date that had just nose hairs hanging out.00:37:02.871 --> 00:37:05.809


Oh my god I dated a guy once in those hairs and there was no second date.00:37:05.849 --> 00:37:08.485


It was so unattractive you did like nose hairs to the point it was.00:37:08.585 --> 00:37:12.797


It was like hanging down yeah, I noticed, and nose tits.00:37:12.797 --> 00:37:15.726


But yeah, there was no second date because it was a turn off.00:37:15.726 --> 00:37:17.889


You know, oh my gosh, it's easy to trim them, right?00:37:18.068 --> 00:37:22.936


yes, um long fingernails, yeah yeah, jealousy.00:37:23.777 --> 00:37:30.253


Okay, this one smell of dick cheese where did you find this online?00:37:30.253 --> 00:37:31.355


What is first of all?00:37:31.355 --> 00:37:32.177


What is dick cheese?00:37:32.177 --> 00:37:33.239


Is it like the goop?00:37:33.239 --> 00:37:40.737


The lovely medical term that we would have to document yeah, what is it?00:37:40.737 --> 00:37:43.126


And so is it just like the like discharge.00:37:43.746 --> 00:37:49.148


It's the yeah when it's like an uncircumcised penis, and then it's the crusty stuff.00:37:49.248 --> 00:37:50.730


Oh, so it's the uncircumcised penis.00:37:50.750 --> 00:37:51.829


Yeah, and it has a smell.00:37:51.829 --> 00:37:53.451


Yeah, when it's not clean, it can.00:37:53.510 --> 00:37:55.931


It can, but sometimes it doesn't Most of the time it doesn't.00:37:56.132 --> 00:38:05.317


If it does, it's and your girl parts like if it has a smell, there might be like a bacterial infection going on See.00:38:05.336 --> 00:38:08.239


This podcast is educational Everyone just needs clean genitals.00:38:08.278 --> 00:38:13.382


Let me just tell you, it's true, you never know when you're going to end up in an ambulance and someone's going to cut your clothes off.00:38:13.382 --> 00:38:16.463


Let me just tell you please, have clean undie pants on and wash.00:38:26.045 --> 00:38:27.248


I think about that every time.00:38:27.248 --> 00:38:33.121


I leave the house without anything on underneath, because I'm very much a just a commando kind of gal, and so it's like every time I'm like oh, maybe, maybe something not under my clothes today.00:38:33.402 --> 00:38:34.347


I know too many paramedics.00:38:34.347 --> 00:38:35.389


I almost had my second son.00:38:35.389 --> 00:38:41.206


I was like he was so close to being born in the car and I'm like, oh my gosh, if we have to call 911, it's one of the medics that works for us that shows up.00:38:41.266 --> 00:38:47.525


I'm going to die so now it's time for the celebrity cut, where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities.00:38:47.525 --> 00:38:48.509


So did so.00:38:48.509 --> 00:38:52.025


You know, selena gomez is with benny blanca right, and they're such a cute couple.00:38:52.025 --> 00:38:53.748


Their social media is adorable.00:38:53.748 --> 00:38:54.130


I love it.00:38:54.130 --> 00:38:54.811


He's so into her.00:38:54.811 --> 00:38:58.947


Well, there were rumors swirling that he cheated on her with her assistant.00:38:58.947 --> 00:38:59.507


Did you hear this?00:38:59.507 --> 00:39:08.000


No, like there was a tiktok video going around about how someone saw him check into a hotel with the assistant and all these rumors about him cheating.00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:14.807


And I guess she recently just unfollowed her assistant and I guess apparently he had subscribed to the assistant's only fans.00:39:14.807 --> 00:39:22.409


She has an only fans and it's just like heartbreaking to me because I love them together and I love her and the fact that he would do that and he just seemed so into her.00:39:22.409 --> 00:39:23.411


It was very shocking to me.00:39:23.451 --> 00:39:25.153


He was super into her.00:39:25.153 --> 00:39:28.197


I like the interviews of him talking about her.00:39:28.637 --> 00:39:29.498


I hope it isn't true.00:39:29.498 --> 00:39:30.601


I hope it's just a rumor.00:39:36.166 --> 00:39:42.338


I hope he was like planning something really nice for Selena and just like needed her assistant, along for like counsel like to like bounce ideas off of and stuff, because she knows her so well.00:39:43.684 --> 00:39:48.945


And I guess you know the rumors were going around but it's just blown up now because Selena Gomez has unfollowed her assistant.00:39:48.985 --> 00:39:49.527


Which kind of?00:39:49.949 --> 00:39:56.068


makes it seem a little dodgy, doesn't it right it does oh my god, it does I feel like the unfollowing I was.00:39:56.068 --> 00:40:00.152


Who did I hear unfollowed who also recently?00:40:00.152 --> 00:40:04.898


That's people, it's like the general public bases.00:40:04.898 --> 00:40:06.739


So much on.00:40:06.739 --> 00:40:07.981


You know what it was.00:40:08.244 --> 00:40:14.864


Travis Kelsey unfollowed Ryan Reynolds right, green and it yes, that's what I heard recently.00:40:14.864 --> 00:40:16.307


Actions speak louder than words.00:40:16.489 --> 00:40:17.771


Yes, but it's just.00:40:17.771 --> 00:40:29.132


It's funny because I never think to myself oh, I never think to myself oh, I'm gonna go unfollow this person.00:40:29.132 --> 00:40:30.797


Yeah, I never do, except one person, and you got called out for it.00:40:30.797 --> 00:40:31.298


I didn't know that.00:40:31.318 --> 00:40:32.663


They know when you unfollow someone.00:40:32.663 --> 00:40:33.224


They don't?00:40:33.304 --> 00:40:34.791


they have to go look they have to go.00:40:34.791 --> 00:40:38.748


Look for you they have to go look for you to see if you're still following them or not.00:40:38.768 --> 00:40:40.896


Yeah, yeah, there are no notifications when you get unfollowed.00:40:40.956 --> 00:40:55.384


But that's why it's so, it's so funny that unfollowed but that's why it's so, it's so funny that, like the fan, like that's why I'm saying the general public is so into it that they literally search these social media pages like who's following, who, who's still?00:40:55.403 --> 00:40:56.867


following who who's unfollowing?00:40:56.887 --> 00:40:58.751


who no right, that's what I'm saying.00:40:58.751 --> 00:41:05.155


Like the Selena Gomez stans are out there, just like watching her page, like, like, is Selena still following her assistant?00:41:05.155 --> 00:41:06.878


No, you know what I mean.00:41:06.878 --> 00:41:07.842


And then it blows up.00:41:07.842 --> 00:41:09.085


It's crazy, oh my gosh.00:41:09.324 --> 00:41:16.885


Now it's time for the most delicious segment of the show, zoyo and Tell, sponsored by Zoyo your neighborhood yogurt, by the way.00:41:16.885 --> 00:41:18.090


Did you, have you been to Zoyo?00:41:18.090 --> 00:41:19.766


Yes, don't you love it?00:41:19.766 --> 00:41:20.489


I don't know.00:41:20.489 --> 00:41:23.856


They have gluten-free options, they have lactose-free options.00:41:23.856 --> 00:41:24.898


They have something for everyone.00:41:25.764 --> 00:41:26.347


It's like super healthy.00:41:26.347 --> 00:41:27.253


Do your kids have food sensitivities?00:41:27.253 --> 00:41:28.481


Not at all, oh, they don't.00:41:28.481 --> 00:41:29.224


Oh, how lucky.00:41:29.764 --> 00:41:32.054


And so we do Froyo Fridays and it's usually the Zoya by our house.00:41:32.054 --> 00:41:40.675


Oh awesome, did you know?00:41:40.715 --> 00:41:43.699


on Wednesdays I'm not taking them for ice cream, so shucks.00:41:44.340 --> 00:41:48.253


Zoya's the best, and now we're going to find out more about you.00:41:48.253 --> 00:41:50.010


Pick a card and answer the question.00:41:50.010 --> 00:41:51.615


Some are innocent, some are not so innocent.00:41:51.615 --> 00:41:55.373


I like the not so innocent ones myself.00:41:57.545 --> 00:41:59.153


Well, you guys got a really good one.00:41:59.153 --> 00:42:01.648


Okay, have you had anal sex and how did you feel about it?00:42:01.827 --> 00:42:05.313


Oh my God, oh baby, here we go.00:42:05.313 --> 00:42:07.836


We haven't had this question yet.00:42:07.856 --> 00:42:09.659


We have not had this question yet.00:42:10.519 --> 00:42:13.449


Okay, I have tried this.00:42:13.449 --> 00:42:15.994


It does not go well.00:42:15.994 --> 00:42:27.773


I was like I was with someone for about four years and he was just like he really pushed for that and I was just like, fine, so we made a bet, if I lost, we had to attempt this.00:42:27.773 --> 00:42:28.226


And it was.00:42:28.226 --> 00:42:35.030


And I said, okay, if I can tolerate this for up to five minutes, I was like, then I have to do it back to you.00:42:35.030 --> 00:42:38.713


So yeah, he agreed to that.00:42:38.713 --> 00:42:44.806


He agreed to that one because he knew I was not that's gonna be okay with that for that long period of time.00:42:44.947 --> 00:42:47.934


So and I feel like it depends on the size too.00:42:47.954 --> 00:42:52.407


Like yes, I just know also, why are guys so obsessed?00:42:52.407 --> 00:42:55.036


Is it, is it the the forbidden thing?00:42:55.036 --> 00:42:58.226


Is it because it's taboo and it's because it's like?00:42:58.226 --> 00:42:59.248


I think so.00:42:59.248 --> 00:43:00.349


Is that why?00:43:01.152 --> 00:43:02.293


guys are obsessed with it, though.00:43:02.333 --> 00:43:10.311


Huh, Sometimes I feel like a lot of what people feel they want or need is a total relationship to how much porn they watch.00:43:10.572 --> 00:43:10.913


Yeah.00:43:11.173 --> 00:43:12.195


Yeah, that's true.00:43:12.697 --> 00:43:13.438


That's probably true.00:43:14.018 --> 00:43:14.820


Well, do you have any other questions?00:43:14.820 --> 00:43:14.981


I don't.00:43:14.981 --> 00:43:15.702


Do you have any other questions?00:43:15.722 --> 00:43:26.913


That was a good last one that was a good last one, I'm always like, like wanting the juicy ones, and that was like juicier than I ever imagined the fact that you didn't like gasp or clutch your pearls before you read it.00:43:26.952 --> 00:43:29.034


You were just like have you ever done anal?00:43:29.034 --> 00:43:32.717


Nope, I really don't have a filter for the most part.00:43:32.717 --> 00:43:33.878


And I'm very, very honest.00:43:33.878 --> 00:43:36.440


I'm like if you want to know something I'm going to tell you.00:43:36.961 --> 00:43:37.541


That's awesome.00:43:37.541 --> 00:43:37.983


That's amazing.00:43:37.983 --> 00:43:49.192


I'm glad you got that question.00:43:49.192 --> 00:43:50.838


Can you imagine if some of the other guests would be mortified?00:43:50.838 --> 00:43:51.411


They would probably leave storm off.00:43:51.411 --> 00:43:51.494


That would go viral.00:43:51.494 --> 00:43:53.130


Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market.00:43:53.130 --> 00:43:53.697


Thank you so much, pam.00:43:53.697 --> 00:43:59.867


If you're interested in going out on a date with pam, go to our website, the meat market podcastcom, or send us a dm on any of our social media platforms at meat market podcast.00:43:59.867 --> 00:44:02.574


And thank you to our sponsor, tactical Tax Strategies.00:44:02.574 --> 00:44:06.791


If you want to keep more in your wallet, go to Tactical Tax Strategies.00:44:06.791 --> 00:44:08.010


They will save you money.00:44:08.010 --> 00:44:10.333


We will see you next week at the Meat Market.00:44:10.333 --> 00:44:14.554


Oh my God, I just totally got catfished.00:44:14.554 --> 00:44:16.592


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.00:44:17.065 --> 00:44:21.690


So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:44:21.690 --> 00:44:23.811


His wife just reached out to me.