Oct. 8, 2025

When Lies Unravel: Your Guide to Dating Smarter 👀

When Lies Unravel: Your Guide to Dating Smarter 👀

Dating shouldn’t feel like detective work, but Ele has seen it all. From catfishes and love-bombers to “lost my phone at the aquarium” excuses, Ele shares the wild, messy, and hilarious reality of modern dating as a single mom. We dive into red flags, boundary-setting, and clever strategies to protect your peace. FaceTime early, trust your gut, and don’t send risky pics. But it’s not all chaos. Ele also shares soul-recharging hobbies, fun first-date ideas, and how to find someone real who res...

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Season 1

Dating shouldn’t feel like detective work, but Ele has seen it all.

From catfishes and love-bombers to “lost my phone at the aquarium” excuses, Ele shares the wild, messy, and hilarious reality of modern dating as a single mom. We dive into red flags, boundary-setting, and clever strategies to protect your peace. FaceTime early, trust your gut, and don’t send risky pics.

But it’s not all chaos. Ele also shares soul-recharging hobbies, fun first-date ideas, and how to find someone real who respects boundaries and shows up consistently.

🎧 Hit play, laugh along, and learn how to date smarter without losing your mind.

A big shoutout to our amazing sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies! You can check them out at steptax.com. Remember, we drop your drawers, and they drop the tax—making life a little smoother for everyone. Thanks for keeping us covered!

00:00 - Cold Open: Catfish and Chaos

00:15 - Meet the Hosts and Elle

00:26 - Engagement, Grief, and Emotional Guards

02:07 - Women, Drama, and Moving In

03:11 - Boundaries on Monogamy and Threesomes

04:10 - Facebook Dating and Unicorn Requests

05:03 - Alternative Apps and Anonymity

06:11 - Tinder vs Hinge: Outcomes and Risks

07:04 - The “Worst Date” Reframed

09:03 - Love Bombing, Blocking, and Red Flags

11:05 - Kids, Work, and Desert Life

12:05 - Cello, Long Nails, and Taxidermy

14:42 - Trophies, Hunting, and Ethics

16:24 - Marriage, Divorce, and Emotional Numbness

18:18 - Separated vs Divorced: Dating Dilemmas

20:03 - The Married Guy Named Ty

22:02 - Internet Sleuths and Receipts

23:33 - Deal Breakers and Distance

25:02 - Homes, Pets, and Practical Limits

26:30 - Tattoos, Pain, and Fresh Starts

28:19 - Keep More Minute: Boundaries and Sexting

31:05 - Catfish Risks and Consent

32:30 - The Bed-Making Ick

33:55 - Jobs with Highest Divorce Rates

36:00 - Signs Your Partner Might Be Cheating

38:18 - Bonnie Blue, Documentaries, and Discovery

40:05 - First Date Ideas that Actually Work

WEBVTT

00:00:00.959 --> 00:00:03.919
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:05.839
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:11.119
So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:13.759
His wife just reached out to me.

00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:16.719
Welcome to the meat market.

00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:20.160
The single scene is a slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it.

00:00:20.239 --> 00:00:20.879
We are your hosts.

00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:21.679
I'm Lindsay.

00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:22.239
I'm Jess.

00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:24.559
And today's sizzling single is Elle.

00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:25.440
Welcome, Elle.

00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:25.920
Hi.

00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:26.719
Thank you.

00:00:26.960 --> 00:00:30.239
So you were engaged to a girl for six months?

00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:32.240
We were actually engaged for a year.

00:00:32.479 --> 00:00:32.719
Okay.

00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:34.079
Yeah, a little over a year.

00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:35.840
So got engaged pretty quick.

00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:38.320
Do you prefer men, women, both?

00:00:38.640 --> 00:00:40.159
I don't really have any preference.

00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:42.799
It's I guess kind of whoever stands out to me.

00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:44.799
I really liked her.

00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:48.880
Um I don't know that going into relationships I'd want to be with a woman again.

00:00:49.280 --> 00:00:50.079
There's quite a lot.

00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:54.159
I'm not really emotionally vulnerable to people.

00:00:54.240 --> 00:01:00.159
So I have a hard time connecting with women because they expect me to be more emotional towards them.

00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:06.000
And I don't I can't really do it, even if I try, because I'm very logical with my thinking.

00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:08.319
So I don't really act irrationally.

00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:13.680
And a lot of times they just want me to be like in the moment feeling things, and I can't do it.

00:01:13.920 --> 00:01:15.120
So it's really difficult.

00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:18.159
And I love women too, but we can be dramatic, can't we?

00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:22.560
And especially if we're like thinking on our cycles, like what a nightmare.

00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:23.680
It is, yeah.

00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:29.920
I mean, it's a lot of fun though, because like you get your best friend out of it, and you're like, we go shopping together, you know, we do that, like it's great.

00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:32.000
And like we still have a lot of love for each other.

00:01:32.079 --> 00:01:33.680
It didn't end it like horribly.

00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:36.719
We're still friends, you know, and talk almost every day.

00:01:36.879 --> 00:01:38.079
But did you end it?

00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:38.560
Yes.

00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:39.760
Was she devastated?

00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:40.239
Yes.

00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:44.799
Yeah, and it was I there was a lot that led up to the moment, unfortunately.

00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:49.519
I lost my mom um uh three weeks before we got engaged.

00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:53.280
Oh, or after, I'm sorry, after we got engaged, she passed away.

00:01:53.359 --> 00:01:54.560
Um, and it was really sudden.

00:01:54.719 --> 00:01:59.120
So everything with that kind of just created a huge weight and with my kids and stuff.

00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:03.040
So I kind of just snapped and was like, I can't do this anymore.

00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:07.280
Yeah, it wasn't really anything she did, it was just my own, you know, internal stuff.

00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:09.919
Have you guys watched Hunting Wives on Netflix?

00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:13.599
No, I've seen though, it's so good.

00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:19.680
I started watching it last weekend thinking like, oh, we'll see what this show is about.

00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:25.039
And I don't watch TV, I don't have a ton of time to watch TV, and I always fall asleep on shows.

00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:27.759
I watched this season in like three nights.

00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:28.960
It was so good.

00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:30.240
Oh, I've got to watch it then.

00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:38.639
Yeah, but there's a lot of girl on girl action and girl on girl relationship, and it's very dramatic.

00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:41.360
And it's it's just like, oh my god.

00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:49.840
I'm like, if that's how it is, or how it would be dating a woman or being with a woman, I'm like, I could never, I could never be gay.

00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:51.520
I could never date a woman.

00:02:51.599 --> 00:02:52.479
Like it's crazy.

00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:53.919
It's yeah, it's hard.

00:02:54.240 --> 00:02:57.199
I mean, it's different when you're like not living in the same household, right?

00:02:57.360 --> 00:03:00.879
Because then you move in together and it like the light switch just flips.

00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:07.919
So it's like you realize like, oh, they have these tendencies, I have these tendencies, and it's like merging really incorrectly.

00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:10.639
It's like trying to make a puzzle puzzle piece fit that doesn't.

00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:17.039
It's really difficult, but you know, would you bring a female into a relationship with a man?

00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:20.719
Like if you were in a relationship with a man, would you bring in another woman as a third?

00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:21.840
No, no, no.

00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:27.120
I'm and it's not like I'm a territorial person by any means, but I'm like, if I'm committed to you, I'm only committed to you.

00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:27.520
Yeah.

00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:33.199
I don't want to bring in another person because then like, what if what if you end up liking her and you leave me?

00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:35.199
You know, like and that's true.

00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:46.479
It's hard to find a woman that's willing to come into a relationship between a man and a woman who isn't also into men and women, right?

00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:55.199
It's like you're not gonna convince a lesbian who's only into women to come into your relationship or to come into your bedroom with a man.

00:03:55.919 --> 00:03:57.039
Unless the man just wants to watch.

00:03:57.199 --> 00:03:58.400
Unless the man just wants to watch.

00:03:58.479 --> 00:03:59.360
Yeah, that's true.

00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:01.280
I've gotten a lot of those messages.

00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:02.319
Have you?

00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:03.199
Yes.

00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:07.439
I got one the other day that was like, will you, you know, be with my wife and I'll just watch?

00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:11.680
And I was like, I'm on only the man's side of dating right now.

00:04:11.840 --> 00:04:12.960
So, like, how did this happen?

00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:13.599
And how does it work?

00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:14.719
Is this on the dating apps?

00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:16.160
It's on Facebook dating, yeah.

00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:17.680
They'll reach out to you as a few.

00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:25.199
So they send little like um impressions, I guess, or messages, and they can like make a message after they like you to your photo.

00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:29.920
And one of them asked me that, and I was like, I didn't like it, so we didn't match.

00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:34.079
But I was like, what a weird, like first impression to reach out to me by.

00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:34.399
Yeah.

00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:36.000
So they want you to be the unicorn.

00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:44.720
Yeah, and I mean I yeah, I get a lot of those messages and like just like, hey, will you send me pictures for money and stuff like that?

00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:47.920
Like, nothing's really hey, I want to take you out on a date.

00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:54.800
Yeah, I feel like they should have an app or a website, the unicorn, because I know a lot of couples want a woman, want to bring in a woman.

00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:56.720
Well, where do you find these women?

00:04:56.800 --> 00:05:03.279
You there is, I think, field isn't isn't there one called like field that is for alternative lifestyle.

00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:05.759
Lifestyle like BDSM and stuff like that.

00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:09.839
And I've tried that before too, and that was disastrous.

00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:12.560
Why I think I spent like a whole two days on there.

00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:13.120
Why?

00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:20.720
Just like people with no profile pictures sending me like really risky messages, and then I was like, Oh, well, I don't want this.

00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:21.839
What am I doing here?

00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:28.879
So then it's people using the app to basically hide behind the internet, right?

00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:45.680
When the app is supposed to be a safe place for people who are into that kind of stuff to explore, but then you still get people who are using it like as a way to hide, yeah, I guess it's it's got a lot of uh anonyminity.

00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:58.399
I can't pronounce that word, but it's got a lot of that behind it, and they'll like blur their photos, okay, which is super strange because it's like, well, this is supposed to be uh from what I understand, more on the physical side.

00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:04.879
So like, wouldn't I want to be attracted to you physically and see you to be able to determine if I want to move forward with you?

00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:08.879
Yeah, you would think so pointless interesting face out on a dating profile.

00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:13.920
I I think I'm on every dating app you could think of.

00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:14.800
You are currently?

00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:16.000
Yes, it's awful.

00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:16.720
Is it awful?

00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:17.680
That's so bad.

00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:21.120
Is there anyone that's better than the others, in your opinion?

00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:25.199
Um, well, my most horrible situations have come from Hinge.

00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:25.839
Really?

00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:26.720
Yes.

00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:33.600
Um, and then the you know, one night stands and stuff are from Tinder, so it's like So Tinder is still a hookup site?

00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:41.920
I it feels like it is, but I met my ex uh fiance on Tinder, like, and that was good while it lasted, minus the other things.

00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:45.279
And then before that, my previous partner, I met him on Tinder.

00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:47.839
So I don't think it was like super fruitless.

00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:49.519
Yeah, so I just think you gotta weed.

00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:50.720
You definitely have to weed.

00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:52.800
Do you have any disaster date stories from online?

00:06:53.519 --> 00:07:01.199
Um, well, I haven't really gone on a lot of dates, um, just uh disaster after effects.

00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:03.759
Are you talking about who you think you're talking about?

00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:13.519
So let everyone out there know, we met Elle because her ex was on our podcast and told a story when we asked him, tell us one of your worst dates.

00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:16.319
He told a story and she found the story.

00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:17.600
She scrolled upon it on TikTok.

00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:19.199
Like, that is not how it happened.

00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:21.279
So he spun the story, right?

00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:22.240
Yeah, yeah, he did.

00:07:22.319 --> 00:07:29.439
Because our first date was actually, I was at work and uh we had FaceTimed a couple days prior, and like he seemed really sweet and nice.

00:07:29.519 --> 00:07:34.000
He was very attentive, like FaceTimed me right away, calling me, showing me, you know, attention.

00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:38.079
And I was like, Oh, well, like this is unusual, but I like this.

00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:40.800
And so he was like, Whoa, I want to meet you, blah, blah, blah.

00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:42.079
I'll drive down to where you are.

00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:44.399
I'm on the West Valley, he's East Valley.

00:07:44.560 --> 00:07:45.519
So I was like, Are you sure?

00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:50.639
Like, that's a really long drive, and I'm really only gonna get probably a 30-minute lunch because I don't even take lunches.

00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:52.720
And he was like, No, absolutely, I just want to see you.

00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:56.800
So I was like, Okay, so we met at Schnitzel's by my work.

00:07:57.279 --> 00:07:59.920
Schnitzel's and it was the worst lunch ever.

00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:01.839
I got like some potato soup and it was awful.

00:08:02.079 --> 00:08:03.600
Nothing I've ever eaten out of schnitzel's.

00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:05.759
It's fast food, right?

00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:06.879
Like they have drive-throughs.

00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:14.319
Well, and that's why I was like, there's like schnitzels or Arby's, and like Arby's doesn't feel really like a good fit for like a first interaction.

00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:16.240
So it's like schnitzel's has got the meat.

00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:19.120
I was gonna say Arby's, yeah, roast beef sandwiches.

00:08:19.199 --> 00:08:22.639
It's like it's just a walking joke to do a first day that Arby's.

00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:26.000
I feel like I do Arby's.

00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:27.360
Yes, it's really good.

00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:33.679
Yeah, it was so bad though, and I was like, after that, it just started going downhill with the love bombing and everything.

00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:41.759
And so when I saw that video, and I was like, that's not like nothing like that ever happened at all.

00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:43.519
So why?

00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:48.720
You know, in his defense, maybe he just wanted a good story for the podcast, right?

00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:50.080
So maybe he exaggerated it.

00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:51.679
Like most people do exaggerate stories.

00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:52.240
It is true.

00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:54.480
Maybe he just wanted, you know, to entertain people.

00:08:54.720 --> 00:09:00.720
That's true, and maybe he really wanted those nails of yours to dig into his chest.

00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:05.360
Yeah, he asked me to, and I was like, no, I'm squeamish for one.

00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:08.000
So like I'm not gonna draw blood on somebody else.

00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:10.559
Plus, I'm not gonna carve my name into your body.

00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:12.960
Like, that's cute that you want to ask me to do that.

00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:14.320
That's like, you're mine.

00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:15.519
I want everyone to know that.

00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:21.919
I'm actually like the very least person like that, where I'm like, if you don't want to be with me and you're like pulling back, I'm just gonna walk away.

00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:26.320
I don't have any desire to chase you and try and keep you around because you've already made up your mind.

00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:30.559
And he would do that to me, you know, like just kind of disappear or block me.

00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:32.879
And I was like, okay, this is yeah, childish.

00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:33.279
Yeah.

00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:34.639
Now he's in Ukraine.

00:09:34.720 --> 00:09:36.240
So you know, of course.

00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:46.080
I just love, I love how the book talk girlies all came out on that post, like the ones who are like into the fairy smut and the oh, I know the sexy books.

00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:46.960
I think it's great.

00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:47.440
I know.

00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:48.639
I thought that was so funny.

00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:51.919
It was like all the comments were like, book talk girlies, where are you?

00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:54.159
And it's like, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:57.440
I liked the ones that were like, oh yeah, give her my number.

00:09:57.759 --> 00:09:58.720
Like, can I have her number?

00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:01.279
And I'm like, Yes, like, but I'm not that person.

00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:02.480
Like, I'm very boring.

00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:03.519
I don't go anywhere.

00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:06.000
I just work a lot and go home and hang out with my kids.

00:10:06.240 --> 00:10:09.039
Like, I I don't, I'm not an a fun person.

00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:11.279
So you have four boys, right?

00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:12.000
I do, yeah.

00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:16.879
One of them's grown and he's out in Montana living his life.

00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:24.320
Oh, and the other three I have full-time, but my youngest is being homeschooled by his dad right now, so he's kind of between households.

00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:27.840
So right now I only actually have two in the house, but how old are they?

00:10:28.559 --> 00:10:31.919
Um 21, 12, almost 13, 11, and 9.

00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:33.039
Oh, those are fun ages.

00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:35.440
They are and at least they're self-sufficient, you know.

00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:35.679
Yeah.

00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:36.559
They are, yeah.

00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:45.840
And I work for power sport industry, so I, you know, we got dirt bikes and stuff, and I keep them going with we live out in the desert, so it's really fun to just go out and peruse with them.

00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:46.159
Yeah.

00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:46.879
I like it.

00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:48.480
So, what do you do in your free time?

00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:49.279
What are your hobbies?

00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:51.039
Um, so I play the cello.

00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:51.840
Oh, wow.

00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:53.039
Yeah, so that's fun.

00:10:53.120 --> 00:10:57.120
Um, I really used to having something big, big wood in between your legs.

00:10:58.960 --> 00:10:59.679
Make a joke out of it.

00:11:00.399 --> 00:11:01.039
But that's impressive.

00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:02.080
How long have you been playing for?

00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:04.080
So I actually played the violin when I was a child.

00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:07.519
So I just picked the cello back up and trying to like relearn everything.

00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:11.440
Um, it is really difficult with super long nails, but I'm trying to figure it out.

00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:13.519
Um, I like that and I read a lot of books.

00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:16.480
I used to do taxidermy, but I fell out of that a while ago.

00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:18.399
Taxidermy, is that what you stuff things?

00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:18.799
Yeah.

00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:19.840
What?

00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:20.240
Yeah.

00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:22.399
And like So how does what does that how does that work?

00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:25.840
You take an animal, then don't do you have to like drain it, obviously.

00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:32.399
Like tell me the Yeah, I mean you basically skin it and then you would dry it out.

00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:34.159
So you do everything from start to finish.

00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:34.559
Yeah.

00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:40.559
I haven't done like the full skinning, but I've stuffed, done like wet, um, I'm sorry, not wet, uh soft stuffs.

00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:43.440
So soft mounts are where they're pliable and they move.

00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:45.679
So you can like sit it on a couch and stuff.

00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:49.120
And hard mounts are like the typical deer heads and things of that nature.

00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:51.519
So I've fell into that for a while.

00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:54.240
Um COVID.

00:11:54.480 --> 00:12:01.919
I got bored and I was just like what's the weirdest thing someone's ever actually asked you to taxidermy?

00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:04.720
So nobody's ever actually asked me to do anything.

00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:05.120
Okay.

00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:12.879
Um, but I had a business that was basically, you know, people were like, they really like the pinned butterflies and stuff like that with the skulls.

00:12:12.960 --> 00:12:16.240
It's not so much people were like, I want a stuffed duck.

00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:18.399
Or like, I want I want you to stuff my dog.

00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:20.799
Like my dog tucked away and I want you to stuff my dog.

00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:27.759
A few years ago, though, I was seeing this guy, but he did like a lot of drugs, which I was like, whatever.

00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:30.399
But he did tell me he's like, my dog just died.

00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:31.759
And I was like, Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:32.960
And he's like, I want you to stuff it.

00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:34.240
And I was like, Are you sure?

00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:44.559
Like, I want you to think about this before you actually ask me to do this, because you're gonna have a dead stuffed dog in your apartment and you do shrooms.

00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:49.039
Like, let's just let's digest this before we commit to go.

00:12:49.360 --> 00:12:50.240
How is this gonna go?

00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:50.639
Right.

00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:53.440
And so I he ended up just was like, No, I'm just gonna get her cremated.

00:12:53.519 --> 00:12:55.919
And I was like, I think that's probably a better decision for you.

00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:56.720
Smart.

00:12:57.200 --> 00:12:57.440
Yeah.

00:12:57.679 --> 00:13:01.759
So, but I've heard of people stuffing their dogs because they don't want them to ever leave.

00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:03.039
Yeah, isn't that kind of creepy?

00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:03.600
Would you have a good?

00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:04.960
No, I would never do that.

00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:06.159
No, I wouldn't know.

00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:13.440
I would, I my I come from a hunting family, and so I will say it's like there's something to be said about having your trophy, right?

00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:21.600
But it's like then also we have dealt with this with my grandpa's things because he was a big hunter.

00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:40.000
Um, and so it's like, you know, he had the coyote and the fox, and he had the the deer with the you know, with the rack, and it is a way to show your trophy, but then it's like we're like, who wants the stuffed fox from you know 20 years ago?

00:13:40.159 --> 00:13:42.000
Who wants the coyote like I do?

00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:43.840
What does the fox say?

00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:46.080
I love that stuff.

00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:48.639
I know my whole house is decorated like that.

00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:49.519
Is it really?

00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:50.399
That's so funny.

00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:56.799
I guess, I guess somebody, I think, I think they ended up, my mom and her sisters ended up taking a lot of that stuff to the thrift.

00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.519
Um, but hopefully it found a good home.

00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:00.000
I don't know.

00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:01.759
Those things are expensive too, right?

00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:04.879
They are to to have an animal taxiderm or too.

00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:08.399
No, to buy like a head, like a deer head or a cabinet.

00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:10.879
I don't think you really buy them.

00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:11.679
Yeah, you do.

00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:13.759
People buy them to put in their cabins all the time.

00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:20.639
I guess, but then you're like a poser because you didn't actually get it yourself.

00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:21.759
I have issues with this.

00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:23.279
So you said you call it a trophy.

00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:30.639
I have it so do you just hunt for the trophy or do you you eat the meat and no, we eat all of the meat back then?

00:14:30.879 --> 00:14:31.600
You use everything, yeah.

00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:33.200
Okay, so you're not doing it just for a game.

00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:33.759
Yeah, okay.

00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:40.080
No, no, but all whatever you have taxidermied, right, is known as the trophy.

00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:41.840
Oh, oh, that's the name of the trophy.

00:14:42.879 --> 00:14:53.279
It's the term that's the term in the hunting, like in the hunting world, like that's the term for what you have to show for your hunt.

00:14:53.600 --> 00:15:00.320
So, like my from my brother, for example, typically does one deer per season and he jerkies it all out.

00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:04.559
And so we have jerky for the entire year.

00:15:04.639 --> 00:15:06.960
So we have meat that meat for the entire year.

00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:07.519
Okay.

00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:22.799
Um, and then I mean, sometimes he'd he doesn't usually take it to the taxidermist, I guess, unless it would be unless he'd get like a really, really big buck that's super impressive that would make a beautiful trophy on the wall, then yeah, sure.

00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:23.519
But otherwise, no.

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:24.240
Oh, okay.

00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:25.039
Got yeah, yeah.

00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:27.360
Um so are you looking to get married?

00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:28.399
Have you been married before?

00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:29.279
I have been married before.

00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:29.679
Okay.

00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:30.960
Are you looking to get remarried?

00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:31.919
Are you looking for more kids?

00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:32.720
What are you looking for?

00:15:32.879 --> 00:15:38.639
Um, I actually can't have any more kids um fixed, so that I'm pretty done on that.

00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:40.799
Um, I would love to get married.

00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:42.080
Like I think that would be great.

00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:43.759
I've I didn't get to have a wedding.

00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:47.600
So I never got address, I never got the whole experience, you know.

00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:50.799
But I don't want to just get married to get married, you know?

00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:57.120
So but also that emotional inability of you know, that I feel all the time.

00:15:57.279 --> 00:16:00.240
Like I don't really know if I've ever actually been in love with anybody.

00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:01.679
I've loved a lot of people.

00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:03.120
You didn't love your ex-husband?

00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:03.919
I oh no.

00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:04.639
Really?

00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:05.039
No.

00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:06.799
How long were you together for?

00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:07.679
Eight years.

00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:09.440
Why did you stay with him if you went in love with him?

00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:14.960
Because the kids were like, yeah, and it was it was a really toxic relationship, and I was really, really young.

00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:16.399
I married him when I was like 19.

00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:17.440
Oh wow, that is young.

00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:25.039
Yeah, so and we just actually got divorced uh officially in 2021, but we separated in 2017 when I moved here.

00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:30.639
So it was just and it even to this day can still be a really toxic relationship with the kids.

00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:36.480
It just did you guys date other people while you were separated, but before your divorce was final?

00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:37.360
I did.

00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:40.240
I don't think he's dated anyone since we've split.

00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:44.639
I've never seen him with a woman or talk about a woman, and my kids have never said anything about a woman.

00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:48.159
So I don't think he's even tried.

00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:54.080
Because I see that get brought up a lot in some of the groups, like the are we dating the same guy groups?

00:16:54.240 --> 00:16:54.480
Oh yeah.

00:16:54.799 --> 00:17:05.440
Like the having a guy be separated versus the divorce is final and should you date while you're separated, uh because you're still technically married, and blah blah blah.

00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:06.799
Do you guys have opinions on that?

00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:09.039
Obviously, you dated while you were separated.

00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:14.079
Well, he like skipped um states while I was going through the divorce process.

00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:24.079
So it was like I initiated the divorce really quickly, um, but I kept having to change attorneys because there was things, and then I couldn't afford the attorney because he left it kind of high and dry with the kids.

00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:26.160
So it was like it was a battle.

00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:33.519
Um, and I had to serve him by newspaper in like four different states um just because I didn't know where he was and he wouldn't tell me.

00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:35.839
So it was a really long process.

00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:40.960
And I was dating at the time and was actually in like a three and a half year relationship at that point.

00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:45.119
Um during the whole constituent uh divorce and separation.

00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:49.599
And he was really understanding, like he knew because he saw firsthand what I was going through, you know.

00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:52.960
So he was like, Yeah, you definitely don't want to be with this guy.

00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:58.160
I mean, now we have a decent relationship, but it's taken a long time to get to that point.

00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:02.160
How do you feel about dating someone that's technically still married, even if they're separated?

00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:02.720
I don't know.

00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:04.240
I think I'd have a hard time with it.

00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:10.960
My sister's ex-husband, when they first met, he was separated but not legally divorced, and she kind of had a bit of a tough time with it.

00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:11.359
Yeah.

00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:18.079
But I feel like if you've been separated for a long time, and sometimes it can be a long process getting, you know, it finalized.

00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:29.119
And I think it depends on the reason, too, because I know I've known women who drag out divorces because they want more money or they want this and that.

00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:33.759
Or custody battles, or custody battles, and so there's that.

00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:35.920
I don't know why people drag it out.

00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:38.160
Don't you want to be done so you can close that chapter and move on?

00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:38.960
I would think so.

00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:41.039
Unless I guess you don't want the divorce.

00:18:41.119 --> 00:18:44.640
If the husband's leaving you for someone else, yeah, I think it's like control thing.

00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:45.200
Yeah.

00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:45.519
Yeah.

00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:59.599
Like when, especially like I hate being like when a narcissistic, but when somebody who like has controlled you the whole entire relationship is like, oh, like they're finally done with me moving forward, I'm gonna try and manipulate the situation for as long as I possibly can.

00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:02.160
And it happens a lot, you know.

00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:14.240
I just like I guess if I were to encounter someone who told me they were going through a separation, which I have in the last like six seven months of being single, um, but it just it wasn't true.

00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:14.720
Yeah.

00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:15.920
So that's the problem.

00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:22.799
And that is the problem, is a lot of times someone will say they're going through a separation, but they're really not.

00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:27.680
Or they might be, but the intention is still to get back together.

00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:29.759
Yeah, I know life text me.

00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:36.480
Like they separate they separate to work on themselves or they separate to fix their issues, and then the plan is to get back together.

00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:38.559
Yeah, and that happens a lot, you know.

00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:47.680
Like, um I think of all the people I've actually like enjoyed in the last few months of being single that I've talked to, they have all been married.

00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:58.000
And it didn't come out until the end part of it, like, you know, finding out actually the are we dating the same people pages, then you find out and it's like, oh yeah, they're he's married.

00:19:58.240 --> 00:19:59.440
And it's like, how okay?

00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:03.519
There goes two two months of my time going back and forth with this man.

00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:06.400
Do they think it's not gonna get back to their wife?

00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:07.920
They do.

00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:16.799
I think they think they're trying to be sly about it because I remember there was one weekend where um he had drove out again to East Valley to see me.

00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:22.240
And um we met at like a little bar next to my old work.

00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:26.160
And after he left, I was like talking to him and we were on the phone.

00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:33.839
He's like, Okay, well, I'm picking my son up from the babysitters, and I was like, Okay, weird, but like it's kind of late, you know?

00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:38.319
And he was like, I'll text you or call you later, and then just like fell off the face of the earth.

00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:42.559
And then come Monday morning, he texted me, he's like, I lost my phone at the aquarium.

00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:44.799
I'm sure you were blowing my phone up all weekend.

00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:51.759
And I was like, Well, for one, I'm a grown woman, so if you're not gonna respond to me after the first text, I'm just gonna leave it.

00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:53.759
I wasn't blowing your phone up at all.

00:20:54.160 --> 00:20:58.640
I was like, But as a parent, how are you gonna go a whole weekend without a phone?

00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:01.599
Like, if I weren't a parent, I wouldn't care.

00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:02.960
But as a parent, right?

00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:06.319
If something were to happen, I don't have a landline phone, you know?

00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.599
So he was foot on still married with his wife, no problems at all.

00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:12.960
And they had multiple children, and he only ever referenced one child.

00:21:13.039 --> 00:21:15.279
He told me that his baby mama died.

00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:17.119
I'm not even joking.

00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:23.759
Wow, and I was just like savage, ooh, okay, like can you imagine hearing your husband talk about you that way?

00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:26.799
I know like that is bad.

00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:29.039
Yeah, that is grounds for divorce, I'd be done.

00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:30.960
Yeah, and but I wasn't the only one.

00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:32.720
Like, it had all come out to light.

00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.799
There was like many of us that were talking to this man during the same time for months.

00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:37.680
What was his name?

00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:38.480
Uh Ty.

00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:39.119
Ty.

00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:39.599
Yeah.

00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:42.640
And this all came out on the Are We Dating the same guy page?

00:21:42.960 --> 00:21:52.000
Oh well, and I had posted him initially a few months after we like stopped talking, and I was like, just got a bad gut feeling, you know, because he would come back every once in a while.

00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:54.160
Like, you know, they do when they get bored.

00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:58.160
And so I posted a picture of him, and somebody was like, Is that a wedding photo in the background?

00:21:58.319 --> 00:21:59.920
And I was like, I didn't even look.

00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:04.799
And like I couldn't tell, and I zoomed in, you know, and I was like, I don't know, like, I don't know whose house that is.

00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:11.680
So I couldn't really Yeah, he could be at a friend's house, he could be at his parents' house, he could be at anybody else's house, right?

00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:11.920
Yeah.

00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:24.480
So and but then all these people were like um messaging me, and they're like, I know his wife, and they're like supposed to be happily married, have like a brand new baby, and I was like, Oh, whoa, okay, so the babysitter was just the wife.

00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:26.720
Oh I was like, that's pretty gross.

00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:27.359
That's crazy.

00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:32.079
You know what crack some is the internet sleuths, like people that zoom in find wedding fictions.

00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:33.920
They do, it's crazy.

00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:36.480
You post anything on these pages, and they're like, Oh, yeah.

00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:46.480
I remember one time I saw something that somebody was like, I just want to know what this charge on a receipt is, and they like found the GPS coordinates and they're like, It's this place, it's a gas station.

00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:54.559
I was like You cannot get away with anything, I feel like you're dumb if you're a guy and you think you can cheat with multiple women in this day and age.

00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:58.720
I know, yeah, it is insane, but yeah, you know, what do you can do?

00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:00.319
What are your deal breakers?

00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:02.720
Um, I don't even know.

00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:05.759
But being married, I guess, is one of them.

00:23:06.240 --> 00:23:07.440
That's hilarious.

00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:17.599
Like, I um recently was had a friend who, you know, was like, we should get together and you know, like see what this could be romantically.

00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:18.880
And I'm man.

00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:21.039
Um, and I cut it off.

00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:36.240
I have a lot of respect for him, but I was like, I want to get married and I want to be with someone who wants to live in the same household as me, you know, and he wanted to go the opposite direction and like stay long distance for until his child grows up.

00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:38.480
And I was like, Yeah, I just I can't do that.

00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:44.160
So I guess that would be a deal breaker for me, too, is if you expect me to be in a long distance relationship with you for 16 years.

00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:46.559
Oh god, probably not a long time.

00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:50.480
Was he open to having you move to him or no?

00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:53.519
So I own my own house and he owns his.

00:23:53.599 --> 00:23:56.160
Uh, he doesn't have enough space for me and three kids.

00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:58.400
I don't have enough space for his household.

00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:02.079
I've got dogs and cats and stuff, you know, because I'm comfortable in my home.

00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:03.759
I also really like my house.

00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:04.079
Yeah.

00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:11.440
So I'm like, I've done the whole merging thing and had to give up part of my lifestyle to accommodate someone else, and I don't really want to do it again.

00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:17.599
But I I prefer like single men or women because you can just move in and move out quick.

00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:20.000
Like if something goes sideways, you just grab your stuff and go.

00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:23.359
Like, you know, you don't really have any attachments.

00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:34.319
But I don't yeah, I also still just looking at this as like I'm still pretty newly single and I'm really enjoying my space and uh not having someone hog up the bed.

00:24:34.880 --> 00:24:35.839
That's really nice.

00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:38.640
Do you have any unique talents that not many people know about?

00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:40.640
No, I mean the cello.

00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.599
I was gonna say the cello and the violin, that's impressive.

00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:45.680
Um, unique talents.

00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:48.559
No, I mean just you know, like the tax dermy stuff.

00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:51.759
I I wouldn't really say it's talent, it's just practice.

00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:55.440
How long did your tattoo sleeve, the like your blackout, take?

00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:57.039
Oh, this took four hours.

00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:58.559
And did that did it hurt?

00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:00.160
Oh yeah, it hurt so bad.

00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:01.519
Did it really still not finish?

00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:02.319
Is it a cover?

00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:03.200
Is it a cover-up?

00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:04.319
Yeah, okay.

00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:06.240
My ex-husband designed it for me.

00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:10.960
My whole entire sleeve and the bottom half was just it was disgusting.

00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:12.319
And I was like, it's time.

00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:14.640
It's been 10 years, we just get rid of it.

00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:15.039
Yeah.

00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:17.759
Speaking of it being taught it time, are you ready for it?

00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:18.720
I'm ready for it.

00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:21.759
The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies.

00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:25.920
They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your relationship.

00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:30.240
So we have a question that we're gonna talk about.

00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:31.920
This one's a little bit long-winded.

00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:34.319
We've got a lot of details on this one, ladies.

00:25:34.640 --> 00:25:34.960
Okay.

00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:37.839
I've been talking to this guy for about a week.

00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:41.599
He slid into the DMs, and the convo has been great so far.

00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:45.680
It got sexy flirty really fast, which I'm okay with.

00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:54.240
I'm no prude, but I did make it very clear that I don't exchange sexually explicit photos until after I've been with someone in person.

00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:59.759
Even so, he kept asking with no concrete plans for a first date.

00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:05.039
He calls it being cheeky, but I call it a lack of respect for my boundaries.

00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:08.799
Am I overreacting if I just let it fizzle out?

00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:15.359
If I stick around, I feel like I'm setting myself up for a future of disrespect and manipulation.

00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:16.240
Next.

00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:18.400
That's all he wants, is one thing, right?

00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:25.200
Of any guy from my past when I was single and dating online, if they start off with the sex talk and wanting pictures, that's all they want.

00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:25.839
Right?

00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:31.599
Like if you're interested in getting to know someone and actually pursuing something serious, then you don't go that route.

00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:32.240
Do you agree?

00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:32.880
I agree.

00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:40.400
Yeah, I think that in ultimately you do that, you open the doors, you have sex with them, and then they're gonna ghost you anyways.

00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:41.119
It's so true.

00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.880
Like if they don't have any intention to stick around whatsoever.

00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.720
So I feel if she wants just a sexual relationship, then that's fine, entertain it.

00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:51.359
But if if you're looking for more, nope, move on.

00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:53.279
So funny, so funny story.

00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:55.839
The key warm in it, the key warm in it was me.

00:26:59.599 --> 00:27:01.119
This happened to me last week.

00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:01.599
What?

00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:02.000
Uh-huh.

00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:05.200
And I just I wanted to see if if the other ladies would be on my side.

00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:06.640
You on the side of your side.

00:27:06.799 --> 00:27:07.200
Well, yeah.

00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:09.920
So I basically I told him, like, you have no respect for my boundaries.

00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:11.440
Is this someone we know I know?

00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:11.839
No.

00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:12.160
Okay.

00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:15.519
So is this a random person from so you were interested?

00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:15.839
Uh-huh.

00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:17.440
But you're never interested in a girl.

00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:17.920
I know.

00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:18.240
I know.

00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:19.519
I know, never.

00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:21.759
So you actually just wanted the sex stuff.

00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:23.440
No, I don't, so I don't know.

00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:24.720
I still am not a hundred percent.

00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:30.000
I kept telling him I'm I'm trying to suss out your intentions because I'm not sure what they are.

00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:32.880
Because we had really great conversation.

00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:40.799
But then he would pass my boundaries and I'd be like, I've already told you my boundary on this multiple times.

00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:42.400
So why are you still trying to push it?

00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:43.359
Oh, that's annoying.

00:27:43.599 --> 00:27:51.039
And so and so to me, I felt disrespected because he wasn't hearing what I was saying.

00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:54.559
I'm okay with sexy flirting, it's fun.

00:27:54.799 --> 00:28:00.960
And he and he was from New York, and so he's lives far away, which I also don't mind long distance.

00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:04.720
Um, and so that was my thing, is I was like, this is my boundary.

00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:05.759
It is okay.

00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:12.160
We can flirt and we can talk and we can talk about sex, that's fine, but this is my boundary.

00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:16.079
And every single time he would try to push, push, push the boundary.

00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:18.559
And I just felt that it was disrespectful.

00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:20.799
It is when I was very clear about my boundary.

00:28:21.119 --> 00:28:22.960
It shows that he's not really listening, you know?

00:28:23.119 --> 00:28:24.880
And like you said, not respecting your boundaries.

00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:25.519
So yeah.

00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:33.039
But also something I ran into too is like if you're not FaceTiming them to like make sure they are who they are.

00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:41.359
I've ran across like numerous accounts from Tinder and stuff like that that were actual fake people and still had nudes of the people they were pretending to be.

00:28:41.759 --> 00:28:43.119
My ex used to do that.

00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:45.279
I had an ex who was a catfish on Tinder.

00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:47.680
No, this guy we we've FaceTimed a couple of times.

00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:48.160
Yeah.

00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:50.079
Yeah, because it scares me because I'm like, what?

00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:51.119
And you know, it happened to me.

00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:54.640
And I was like, what happened if I were to send you pictures of me like that?

00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:56.240
Like, are you just spreading them around the internet?

00:28:56.559 --> 00:28:58.240
Are you using them to catfish other people?

00:28:58.400 --> 00:28:58.720
Yeah.

00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:00.000
Like, what's going on?

00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:01.519
Yeah, how did we get here?

00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.880
It's that's terrifying.

00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:04.640
It is, it is super scary.

00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:08.160
No, I also realized with this one that I have a new ick.

00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:09.359
I've unlocked a new ick.

00:29:10.079 --> 00:29:10.960
What is it?

00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:14.079
If he doesn't make his bed in the morning, really?

00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:15.119
Yeah.

00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:18.240
I've talked to many where I'm like, do you make your bed in the morning?

00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:19.119
And they're just like, what?

00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:24.559
And I'm like, it's But if they're not having guests over, like, who are they making it for themselves?

00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:25.839
Like, yes, of course.

00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:29.119
Because they're disciplined and they're responsible adults.

00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:36.400
But then also, I could I I went back and forth because I was like, yes, it's an ick, but also I make the bed every day.

00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:38.960
So do I need my partner to make the bed every day?

00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:42.319
Probably not because I'm because I'm gonna do it anyways.

00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:43.599
I'm gonna make both sides.

00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:46.160
I feel like that's something you can get over, work through, right?

00:29:46.319 --> 00:29:48.240
It's asking to make the bed and hopefully he'll make the bed.

00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:59.759
It is, it is something that you can work through, but it's something that it adds a point to the negative side when I'm considering like, do I want to continue entertaining this or not?

00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:01.519
He doesn't even make that bed.

00:30:04.480 --> 00:30:04.640
Uh-huh.

00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:06.799
And it's something that he has and he gets mad if I don't.

00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:09.119
So he normally makes it, but then I've started to do it.

00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.039
Because I know it's important to him.

00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:15.440
So if if I can get the chance to do it before him, I'll do it before him to make him happy.

00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:15.599
Yeah.

00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:22.640
So we are going to discuss the industries that have the highest divorce rates.

00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:32.640
So military, military personnel cheat with other military personnel because they're usually in close quarters and their side pieces with them, you know, when they travel.

00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:35.519
But also the spouses at home cheat too, don't they?

00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:38.880
I mean, since we've heard, so I feel like it's both.

00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:40.559
Firemen and police.

00:30:40.880 --> 00:30:41.599
Oh, I've heard that.

00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:43.440
I guess that the divorce rate's super high.

00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:58.319
But the theory for this, firemen and policemen, is that they experience trauma and have no coping skills and they suppress their emotions, which has to do with the that and I've also heard that that with law enforcement officers, the abuse rate is really high.

00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:02.000
And so I think that's why the divorce rate, that's another reason why the divorce rate is really high.

00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:03.119
Divose rate, what, the wives?

00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:04.160
The domestic abuse.

00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:04.880
Oh, really?

00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:05.119
Yeah.

00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:05.680
Oh shoot.

00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:06.720
Unfortunate.

00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:12.720
Pilots, because they have the opportunity because they're never home and they're traveling and they usually cheat with flight attendants.

00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:16.480
Um apparently CEOs who attend Coldplay concerts.

00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:24.160
Um another theory is that professions that are separated from their spouse have a high divorce rate, which makes sense, right?

00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:27.359
Like traveling salespeople and that kind of thing.

00:31:27.599 --> 00:31:32.160
Then I also had um how to tell if your spouse is cheating.

00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:39.359
So when they change their routine, when they get secretive, obviously, if they have changes in their social media.

00:31:39.599 --> 00:31:41.599
Have you ever had a guy cheat and seen changes?

00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:42.640
Not no.

00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:49.920
I've never had a long-term partner cheat on me in like the traditional sense.

00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:55.359
I dated the guy who was catfishing, but that was I consider that like a mental health.

00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:57.599
That was some that was so much crazy.

00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:01.839
That was so much deeper than just going out and cheating.

00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:05.200
I've never had an ex that I caught cheating.

00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:05.759
Have you?

00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:06.960
Yeah.

00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:08.000
How did you find out?

00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:10.319
Well, usually their wives reach out to them.

00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:12.160
Yeah.

00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:15.680
I was actually in that high school, I had this guy that I was dating.

00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:17.599
Um, it was high school, you know.

00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:25.119
But after uh he got shipped off to the Navy, he and I like rekindled stuff and he wanted to marry me or whatever.

00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:27.200
And we like planned this whole thing.

00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:31.359
And then I found out he was already married and she lived with him.

00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:34.400
And I was like, I was the problem, apparently, at that point.

00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:38.079
But I've got a really bad record with dating.

00:32:38.319 --> 00:32:38.799
Oh my god.

00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:41.359
Don't they say though that statistically, like, what is it?

00:32:41.519 --> 00:32:43.119
40% of men online are married.

00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:44.160
It's like a high statistic.

00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:45.359
It could even be higher than that.

00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.039
Yeah, it's like scary high.

00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:49.839
That are online dating that are like on the dating apps.

00:32:50.079 --> 00:32:50.799
I haven't read that.

00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:51.920
I believe it though.

00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:52.400
Yeah.

00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:58.559
So I dated a guy once that was cheating on me, and I could tell because he was always all of a sudden he's like, Oh, I'm gonna spend this weekend with my nephews.

00:32:58.640 --> 00:32:59.759
I'm gonna hang out with my nephews.

00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:01.519
And it's like, okay, why can't I come?

00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:04.000
Or I'm gonna go to happy out with my family.

00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:05.359
Can you just wait at home for me?

00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:08.079
And it's like, well, why aren't you inviting me?

00:33:08.640 --> 00:33:11.519
Little things like that, making plans, but doesn't invite you, you know?

00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:15.519
So um, scientific signs, a man is cheating.

00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:17.039
And this is said by a woman.

00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:29.440
If they're pulling away, you feel emotional distance, you feel something's changed, if they start talking about how they know her, like they subtly bring her into the conversation, like this girl at work, and she like pops up regularly in conversation.

00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:35.119
When you mention her, and they automatically say, Oh no, no, no, she's not my type, they get defensive, you know.

00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:41.519
Um, he dresses differently, starts talking differently, wants to align himself with her, starts liking things that she likes.

00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:50.079
If they start drinking different beer like Michael Ultra, has different desires, if they become critical and irritable of you.

00:33:50.720 --> 00:34:01.039
Uh, cheaters start small, they plan a solo event, like a lunch or a dinner or to walk the dogs, but from the moment they verbalize a meetup with their side piece, then you do not exist to him.

00:34:01.119 --> 00:34:01.599
You're done.

00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:03.599
He has tunnel vision of hooking up with her.

00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:06.960
It's a steep slope from this moment to physically cheating.

00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:23.039
So, and then from a man, I saw a TikTok video, a man's perspective, this is how you know when a man is cheating, when everything you do bothers him, when they act like they're busy all the time, don't have time for you, when he has random depressed stages, when he starts acting distant and cold, and when you can feel it in your gut.

00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:25.119
I feel like women should always trust their gut, right?

00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:26.960
Can't you feel it when they're cheating?

00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:28.079
You just know something's wrong.

00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:30.159
You feel it when and they do anything wrong.

00:34:30.880 --> 00:34:33.199
Yeah, it's just like, ooh, like the ick.

00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:33.519
Uh-huh.

00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:36.800
It's like that felt weird, and then it just goes downhill from there.

00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:38.400
Yeah, that's how intuition.

00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:41.519
My friends are like, How do you figure this stuff out so quickly about men?

00:34:41.599 --> 00:34:43.840
You just start talking to them like because I feel it in my gut.

00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:47.280
I've experienced so much of it where it's just like a constant cycle.

00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:49.679
Now it's time for the celebrity cut.

00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:51.760
We'll be marinate in the juices of the celebrities.

00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:53.199
So you know Bonnie Blue, right?

00:34:53.360 --> 00:34:53.599
No.

00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:56.159
Do you so do you want to tell her who Bonnie Blue is?

00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.800
Bonnie Blue is this English only.

00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:04.800
Yeah, I guess she was on OnlyFans, and she she what did she do?

00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:06.960
Sleep with 2000.

00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:08.960
Bagging the most men in 24 hours.

00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:10.079
So what was it, 2000?

00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:11.920
2,000 something, I think.

00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:15.119
So she did this event where she wanted to break the record.

00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:18.320
So she filmed this event, and there were guides lining up.

00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:21.039
Um, I think she broke the 2000 record.

00:35:21.519 --> 00:35:23.440
There was a documentary about it or a film.

00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:25.760
That's why they did this for content.

00:35:26.320 --> 00:35:34.000
A lady was sitting at her house watching this documentary, saw a guy, the last guy in line who had tattoos.

00:35:34.239 --> 00:35:35.360
It was her husband.

00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:35.840
No.

00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:38.480
Her husband was the last guy in line.

00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:40.079
That's how she caught him cheating.

00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:41.280
That's how she caught him cheating.

00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:45.679
He applied to be one of the men that Bonnie Blue bangs and was the last one.

00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:48.239
So technically he banged 20 men, you know?

00:35:48.400 --> 00:35:54.239
Oh, but like King, she's like, his tattoos were, you know, his tattoos, they're very detectable.

00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:55.519
Yes, my imagine.

00:35:55.920 --> 00:35:57.280
That's what gets most people in trouble.

00:35:57.440 --> 00:35:57.760
Right?

00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:58.639
The tattoos.

00:35:58.800 --> 00:35:59.760
Yeah, it's like yeah.

00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:01.519
Anyone recognize this tattoo?

00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:02.559
Yep.

00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:06.320
There's that happens a lot on those are we dating the same guy groups?

00:36:06.559 --> 00:36:14.480
Because I feel like girls can sneak tattoos of like a guy's arm or something like that more easily than they can sneak a picture of his face.

00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:19.920
And so there are there are posts like that quite often that are like, is this anyone's man?

00:36:20.079 --> 00:36:24.480
I know you'll I don't need to post a picture of his face because you'll recognize the tattoos.

00:36:24.719 --> 00:36:25.119
Funny.

00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:26.000
So crazy.

00:36:26.239 --> 00:36:26.719
Imagine.

00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:29.599
I can't imagine watching the documentary.

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:30.559
Oh my god.

00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:32.079
Oh my god.

00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:35.119
Well, was there any vetting for that process at all?

00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:36.400
Or was it just like no?

00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:38.400
I think they just I think they just had to have a penis.

00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:39.119
Oh wow.

00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:39.360
Yeah.

00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:41.760
I wonder if they even use the condom, but I would hope so.

00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:44.159
They I mean they have to.

00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:47.360
Uh that doesn't stop a lot of other STDs.

00:36:47.679 --> 00:36:48.079
It's true.

00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:48.719
Yeah, it's true.

00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:53.679
One of the photographers came out, did an interview, and was like, the smell was so bad in that room.

00:36:54.079 --> 00:36:54.639
So nasty.

00:36:54.960 --> 00:36:55.519
Gnarly.

00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:56.480
It's so nasty.

00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:58.880
So where's your favorite place to go on a first date?

00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:00.480
Oh goodness.

00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:05.599
Um, so I recently decided I like bowling when my nails are shorter and I can get my fingers in the hole.

00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:08.719
Um, but I've only I went to the zoo on one date.

00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:12.239
That was cool, but we walked like eight million miles and it was really hot.

00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:13.679
So it kind of sucked.

00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:13.920
Yeah.

00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:15.199
But just I don't know.

00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:20.079
Yeah, I'm after actually after that date, he took me to Barnes and Noble.

00:37:20.159 --> 00:37:24.159
I have a like wall-to-wall bookshelf in my bedroom.

00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:25.440
So I love books.

00:37:25.679 --> 00:37:26.960
So I had to pick out a few books.

00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:27.519
That was fun.

00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:33.360
But anything that's like that where you can like talk and you know try to make a connection.

00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:40.639
Yeah, you know, and a lot of like, hey, we should just meet for a drink, but that like is uncomfortable for me.

00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:41.199
Yeah.

00:37:41.679 --> 00:37:45.119
Now it's time to get to know you with Zoyo, sponsored by your neighborhood yogurt.

00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:50.400
Zoyo, if you want to pick the top card, summer vanilla, summer not so vanilla.

00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:55.760
What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done?

00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:57.920
That's a good one.

00:37:58.719 --> 00:38:00.400
What is the kinkiest thing I've ever done?

00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:06.159
Um, I mean I don't know.

00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.480
I I guess I guess we're nipple clamps.

00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:13.599
So it was fine.

00:38:15.119 --> 00:38:16.559
It's like that was fine.

00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:18.559
Has a guy ever asked you to do something?

00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:19.840
Can you like hell no?

00:38:20.320 --> 00:38:21.039
Well, yeah.

00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:24.639
So my one ex was like obsessed with anal.

00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:35.519
And um we had a situation where we were actually just having normal sex, and I came down too hard and it hit me.

00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:37.840
Oh, and I almost threw up.

00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:43.119
And I was like, okay, and he kept asking for anal, and I was like, I love you.

00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:44.000
I can't.

00:38:44.320 --> 00:38:49.920
I experienced that within our first week of dating, and it was so painful that I could never do that.

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:57.280
And it was kind of like actually make or break for our relationship because it was something he really wanted, and I just was like, No, I can't do it.

00:38:57.519 --> 00:38:59.360
Wow, it that sucked really bad.

00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:08.880
But I just I like I said, I'm a lot of vanilla, I don't have a lot of vanilla sex, but my experiences have been really vanilla, but I have like fantasies, you know, where I'm like, oh yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:39:08.960 --> 00:39:09.679
What are your fantasies?

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:11.440
So you know, book talk.

00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:14.960
I was gonna say book talk girl, of course you have fantasies, yeah.

00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:19.840
You know, like nothing as crazy as like haunting Adeline, but like I love ghost face.

00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:26.400
I've got ghost face masks and like different, you know, horror villain masks, where I'm like, yeah, that would be hot.

00:39:26.559 --> 00:39:31.519
Yeah, but I have to find a man that is more than just a piece of meat to do it, you know.

00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:34.079
But yeah, I like the ghost face masks.

00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:35.280
I think those are really fun.

00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:36.480
That'd be interesting.

00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:39.119
Do you like scary movies?

00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:39.840
Yes.

00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:42.719
Do you like scary penis?

00:39:43.199 --> 00:39:45.119
Not scary penis, no.

00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:48.639
So do you want him just to weather, or do you want him to like chase you around the house?

00:39:48.800 --> 00:39:50.159
Oh yeah, like whole role playing.

00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:51.199
Oh, yeah, whole role playing.

00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.880
I mean, because it's like it's consensual, right?

00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:58.559
You know it's gonna happen, so but it like gives you a little bit of an adrenaline boost.

00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:05.840
And like sometimes fear is kind of a turn-on where it's like, oh, don't catch me, but you're gonna catch me.

00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:10.480
My husband dated a girl that she wanted him to chase her around with a knife.

00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:13.360
Like she always wanted him to do that.

00:40:13.440 --> 00:40:14.400
I'm like, did you?

00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:17.199
I don't know that I'd want like a real knife, right?

00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:17.840
Scary.

00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:26.480
Like, if you got the plastic ones to like get into the role play, but if you have like a real knife, I might, you know, trip and fall and you got stab actually.

00:40:26.800 --> 00:40:31.039
Yeah, there's a there's real risks associated with a gone wrong.

00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:34.639
Yeah, you do need boundaries with that.

00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:35.440
That's funny.

00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:38.000
Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market.

00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:39.199
And thank you so much, Elle.

00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:43.039
If you want to go on a date with Elle, send us a DM at Meat Market Podcast.

00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:45.840
And thank you so much to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies.

00:40:45.920 --> 00:40:50.559
If you want to keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies.

00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:53.119
We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.

00:40:54.639 --> 00:40:57.519
Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

00:40:57.599 --> 00:40:59.679
He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.719
So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

00:41:04.880 --> 00:41:07.360
His wife just reached out to me.