WEBVTT
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Welcome to the Meat Market.
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The single scene is a slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it.
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We are your hosts.
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I'm Lindsay.
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I'm Jess.
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And today's sizzling single is Michaela.
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Welcome.
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Thank you.
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Thank you for having me.
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So you are a widow with two kids, and you've never dated before.
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He was your only boyfriend, and now you are thrown into the modding modern dating culture.
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How has that been?
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Oh, it's a roller coaster, for sure.
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Uh ups, downs, wins, losses.
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Uh, but I'm here for it all.
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So you when was the last how long were you with your husband for?
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Yeah, almost a decade.
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Oh, wow.
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Yeah.
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So yeah.
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And I bet dating has changed since Oh God, when I I had met him, like apps were not a thing.
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Uh just like the dating hookup culture is very different now.
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Um, yeah.
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And you said that you're a wife at heart.
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Like you like monogamy, you're not all about this.
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Yeah, I really only know how to show up for someone, like good days, bad days, cook them dinner at the end of the day.
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I don't know how to do the like, how's your day going?
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It's like, that's just boring shit to me.
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I don't think there's more to it.
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I only Good morning, beautiful.
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Yeah, good morning, beautiful.
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And I'm like, How did you sleep?
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Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?
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I don't want to do the small talk.
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I want to like actually talk and get to know someone.
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And so yeah, it's just it's really hard.
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I like to think I'm like a terrible girlfriend now or like I shouldn't be one.
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I only want to just like skip all of that and just like be in it.
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How long has it been since your husband passed?
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Uh almost two years.
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Okay.
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Um and I feel like the biggest thing as a widow dating is I think because of how he had died, for me, it's just a different way to get back into dating.
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I think if he had died in a more honorable way, um, I probably would have waited a lot longer.
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I would have probably waited longer to take off my rings.
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And I think for me it was kind of a I knew exactly being a wife at heart.
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The next relationship I'm gonna be in, I'm gonna be a wife.
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And so dating for me, I like had put in my head when I first started dating, I wanted to do 10 men, 10 experiences.
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Not that I need to sleep with all 10 men, just to clarify.
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But I knew I wanted to learn about myself, being that I haven't dated and now being in my 30s, most people have dated around and have a roster, if you will.
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And that just wasn't me.
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And so I wanted to think, okay, what is my real non-negotiables?
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What do I actually want?
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And to kind of figure it out along the way.
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Um what have you learned?
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Oh god.
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Uh height is a real requirement for me.
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Height is real.
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What's the minimum?
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Minimum is like six three.
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Oh wow.
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Yeah, I'm 5'11, 6' and it's just so that really cuts your options down, eh?
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It does.
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It does.
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And it's not to say a really confident six-foot-tall man can't come in, but like I probably won't.
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Probably won't.
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I just have learned.
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It's rare as tall girls.
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Yeah.
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How tall are you?
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I'm 5'10.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Don't you get annoyed at these like five-foot women that are like, I mean a tall guy that's six feet three?
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I'm like, leave them for us.
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Leave them for us.
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Um, yeah.
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Other things I've learned, just how to advocate for myself.
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I think I'm a very naturally confident person given what I do professionally and just like life.
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But all of a sudden, you put me in a room or across from a man on a date and I'm supposed to talk about my feelings.
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I'm like, oh God, I have to vocalize this right now.
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So that's probably been like the biggest journey in trying to date again.
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Um and then how do you do that as a mom with kids?
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It's just like all the things stacked against me somehow.
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How old are your kids?
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Yeah, my son's five.
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My daughter's about to turn three in a week.
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Oh, so they're young.
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They're young.
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And obviously, you're by yourself.
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So you don't have any help.
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Do you have family?
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Do you have anybody that can help with them?
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Uh, short answer, no, not really.
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No.
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Um, I have some great hired help for sure.
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And I have a best friend who her and her husband have definitely stepped in tremendously just to like be great influences for my kids.
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But no, it's me.
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Um, and I travel a lot for work, so it's it's a different ball game.
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But my kids, especially my son, he is like so vocal about wanting me to find someone again.
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We're like in Target last week.
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He takes my phone and he just starts recording.
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He's like, Here's the reasons why you should date my mom.
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Oh like this is so beautiful and so sweet, but like, shh, we're not like we're not walking through Target giving a list right now.
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Um, but he's like for it.
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He'll watch movies where like someone's spouse had died, and he's like, see, they can find somebody again.
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You can too.
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It is it's so sweet.
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And I think that's also it as a mom, I want to protect their hearts.
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And I know they're great kids, and I know whoever is lucky enough to be in their lives, God, they're gonna love them.
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Like my kids are incredible.
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So has he ever like had does he ever come up with like imaginary men for you?
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Oh, yeah, or like celebrities where he's like, Mom, you should marry.
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Yes, especially, yeah.
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I'm a way at one of my booker.
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Yes.
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Mom, you should marry.
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Yep.
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My clients are really great.
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They love to invite him to some of the games and whatnot that we'll go to.
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And he's just like, so what about that one?
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I'm like, that one has a rink.
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We don't talk to them or just, yeah, no, he he has high expectations too.
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Um, but it's I talk with them.
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It's not about just finding somebody to love, it's somebody who's gonna love our hearts the right way.
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Um have you had any serious relationships since?
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Since really serious, like situationship, but not like relationship.
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I did say we part of one of the 10 men, 10 experiences.
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I called in my Nashville boyfriend for a day.
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I said yes to being in a relationship, and by the time he dropped me off at the airport, I was like, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
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Yeah, but he we continued talking.
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Um I think for me again, it's just I won't say yes to being in a relationship now.
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That's what I learned from that one is I won't say yes to being in a relationship unless I know that's someone for me I want them to meet my kids.
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Um, yeah, I think that's fair.
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So you had said clients, you know, your son wants you to hook up with clients.
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Have you ever had a client hit on you?
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So, first of all, tell tell us what do you do for a living?
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Yeah, I own a destination wedding and event planning company.
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Um, usually working with a lot of professional athletes, uh executives, great people, great clients.
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So I was gonna say, have any clients hit on you, but then you're planning their wedding?
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So you would think, you know.
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Um also like people?
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Yeah, sure have.
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And then we no longer do their wedding.
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I will fire an asshole.
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I just I only want to work with people who are genuinely in love.
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Um, I say to my clients, I give up so much of my own life to be a part of yours.
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I want to like you.
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Um, and so yeah, I'll I'll kick them out if they're not gonna be able to do that.
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Well, and you think about like who else is involved in planning the wedding, because a lot of times the best man is involved.
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Oh, that's true.
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You know what I mean?
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The the parents, the siblings, the brothers and sisters of the brides and grooms.
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So you there is still potential to date a client or to have a client, but it's like, is that really I don't know.
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I'm not really looking in that moment.
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I'm be honest.
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I'm like running on an 18-hour day, like trying to pull off miracles.
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So that's not really it.
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And really, for me, and even with my late husband, I was so mindful of just making sure, and not just him, but whoever I'm with, that they have nothing to worry about because I am being flown around the world and being able to do these incredible things, I don't want my partner to ever question what I'm doing.
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Yeah, to feel like insecure, yeah, to feel insecure.
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Yep.
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And so it it's that for me.
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If I then had said, yeah, I've hooked up with five groomsmen along the way over the years, then they're always gonna think that's what I'm actually doing.
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And so I've never crossed that line with anybody related to any of my events.
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Have you ever been tempted?
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I mean, there's always really hot groomsmen, you know, they're great people, but it's just not what I'm like.
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Really, I try to stay far away from my industry as possible.
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Um, but I also don't think many men understand or can really be confident enough with what I do.
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I think a lot of men look at me and they're just like, yeah, I can't, that's not, I can't afford you and what you're able to do.
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Um so yeah, I need a very confident man who also is so successful, um, or else it's just not gonna work.
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What are some of your when you say you've developed a list of non-negotiables?
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Yeah.
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Besides height, obviously.
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What are some of your other non-negotiables?
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Um successful driven, I say it's it's not like a money dollar thing, but really more so you have to have a career.
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Um if someone looks at me and they're like, you want to be my sugar mama, that's just a hard no.
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Hard no.
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Um, others uh definitely feeling emotionally and physically safe is just number one.
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Um what is your type physically?
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Oh, that's hard.
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Uh I'd like to think I don't have a true type.
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But I would say they usually have tattoos, some muscles.
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I lean towards like a country man.
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Really?
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Yeah, everybody always has that reaction.
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They're like, wait, what?
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Yeah, I would have never expected that.
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Nope, give me a like a man who can like fix my lights or something, that's like so hot to me.
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Like a handy man.
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Yeah.
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Blue collar, that's just that's not me.
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I don't even own hammer, so it's just like um, yeah, but usually it's somebody who walks in a room and honestly has like big dick energy for me.
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It's like number one.
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If you don't, I'm gonna kind of walk all over you then.
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So it's just yeah.
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Um there's a fine line, I feel like, between the big dick energy confidence and being too.
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Oh, yeah, not cocky.
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No, confidence.
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It's not cocky for me.
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It's where you're just you know what you can offer.
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Um that for me is that's where I say confidence.
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And someone that can't be walked all over.
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I've dated guys in the past that you can get away with anything, they'll let you do anything.
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And it's kind of a turn-off, it's kind of nice to be with a guy that has some balls, some big balls.
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Yeah, I just say, like, put me in my place.
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Yeah.
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Because that's my job is to tell everybody else what to do.
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So if you can earn that place with me to tell me and put me in my place, like that I love.
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Yeah.
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So you say you plan events, plan weddings.
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Have you had any disaster stories or crazy stories where shit just went real wrong?
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Shit hit the fan, as they say, like every one of them.
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Uh yeah.
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Um gosh, I've had one wedding where there was a guest.
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He was a Belgian prince.
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Like literally a prince.
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Yep, yep.
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Um, and he was attending.
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Uh the wedding was in California.
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He was smoking on a lawn.
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You're not allowed to smoke on like turf lawn because California burns up quite often.
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And um, I had to go over to him and I'm like, I'm so sorry.
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I'm the wedding planner.
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I can't have you smoke here underneath these hundred thousand floral ceilings, all these things.
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But if you go right down the path, you can smoke right there.
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And he tells me, piss off.
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And I said, Okay.
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And so we have a protocol with my team.
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Like, we have, I'm not gonna ask the couple what they want to do, but there's certain things where we go into like, what is our?
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What are we gonna do next?
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So I go get Mother Abride, who is also like very influential herself, and is very publicly paying for this wedding.
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And I let her know what had happened.
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Uh next is the venue's policy is he needs to be removed or the event could be shut down.
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What would you like to do?
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And she goes, No, no, no, I'll go tell him to put it out.
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So she goes over to him.
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She's like, What the fuck are you doing?
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You gotta put this out.
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And he tells her piss off.
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She grabs his cigar, rips it in half, throws it in his martini glass, and says, Then get the fuck out of my way.
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Oh my god.
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So then he proceeds, I kid you not, stands up, shoves Mother of the Bride.
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I'm now leaping my body across.
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I'm standing in between.
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Brothers coming out of the word burg saying, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
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And like fight breaks out.
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So now I tell my couples, I'm willing to throw my body in front of your mom.
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Okay, like in it.
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Um, he gets removed from the wedding, goes back to his hotel room, trashes it, breaks every bottle of wine in it.
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Um and my couple had no idea.
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Like, I'm taking her at that moment to go do her trash chain.
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She's like, What's happening?
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I'm like, not your concern.
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I'll tell you tomorrow, but this isn't it.
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Like, I that's not your job is to enjoy your wedding.
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And if you start spiraling, the event spirals.
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And so for me, I've just learned now my 13 going on 14 years in this industry.
00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:45.759
If I crumble, the rest of the event does.
00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:51.600
Um, another one I had last year, a beautiful couple.
00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:56.159
Um, her mom was going through, I think, her third round of chemo.
00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:04.960
Um, and during the ceremony rehearsal the day before, uh, I'm leading, we're practicing, we're walking in, we're walking out.
00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:08.960
Next thing we know, the mom's on the ground at first, we think having a seizure.
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:14.159
I'm literally have her in my arms and she starts having a heart attack, and I'm calling 911.
00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:19.039
Uh and true, like truly, she's being she's completely unresponsive.
00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:21.440
Um, but I like get the chills.
00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:22.720
Um she is okay.
00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:24.240
Let me preface that she's okay.
00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:26.559
She's taken to the hospital.
00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:33.039
I mean, I had almost 200 people flown in from the East Coast all over the world for this event or for their weekend.
00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:36.320
And Friday night welcome reception starts.
00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:38.720
Family's not there, they're all in the hospital with her.
00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:40.879
I'm like on the phone with them nonstop.
00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:45.600
Um, she gets out the next day, probably around one o'clock, I hear.
00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:50.879
And at that point, I have my role is I have probably a hundred vendors underneath me at any moment.
00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:52.480
They're wondering, are we setting up?
00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:53.200
What are we doing?
00:13:53.360 --> 00:13:55.919
And I'm like, I don't know if there's gonna be a wedding today.
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:57.440
I don't care.
00:13:57.600 --> 00:14:01.279
I I just I want my couple and their mom to be okay first.
00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:05.120
And so then when I hear that the mom's gonna be released, I'm talking with the daughters.
00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:07.360
I'm like, at first, I'm like, we'll get you married in the hospital.
00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:08.720
We'll do all everything.
00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:12.960
It's not about where you get married, it's just have your parents there say I do.
00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:21.679
And instead of doing the big, beautiful grand ceremony that we had planned when the mom was getting out, I had said, This is what we're gonna do.
00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:24.879
Um, your guests are gonna go to cocktail reception.
00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:28.720
That's when they're gonna start the wedding, and you guys are gonna get married.
00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:31.679
There's a beautiful oak tree outside of your mom's guest room.
00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:37.919
We're gonna set her up in a little lawn chair and we're gonna have ceremony for you, like your 10 family members, and this is what we're gonna do.
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:41.360
And sure enough, and then they joined halfway through dinner.
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:49.840
Um, and yeah, so my that's things happen at probably every single wedding, and anybody who tells you, like, oh, you hire wedding planners so things don't come up.
00:14:49.919 --> 00:14:50.480
No, no, no.
00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:53.679
You hire wedding planners so we can solve the problems for you.
00:14:53.919 --> 00:14:59.919
Um, and that's the part that I love what I get to do is then I look back at that day and I didn't sleep.
00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:01.679
Like it was just wild.
00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:06.159
But the things we're able to pull off for our couples is what makes me want to keep doing it.
00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:07.759
So that's that's my worst job.
00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:09.120
I would never want to do it.
00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:10.799
I would be terrible.
00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:14.720
You would be a crisis, you would be the chaos.
00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:17.600
It's like it's like you're like calming the chaos, right?
00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:23.440
You would totally, yes, not be the one having it.
00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:26.559
That's the thing, and then it's like dating, and then a guy's like, Oh, so how was your event?
00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:29.039
I'm like, you have no fucking idea what I just dealt with.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:31.200
I don't care what you just ate for breakfast today.
00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:32.720
Like, that's just like not a hype.
00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:34.879
Like, yeah, I'm over here solving role peace.
00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:38.639
Have you ever had someone not show up, like a bride or groom, like last minute?
00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.039
Oh, one was really bad.
00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:44.720
Um, where the wedding was canceled, but I had to keep doing it.
00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:48.639
Um gosh, this was like early on in my career.
00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:50.799
Uh now I have this role.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:55.120
So brides and grooms are just couples, they exchange gifts on a wedding day, or typically do.
00:15:55.279 --> 00:15:56.399
So I have this role now.
00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:01.919
I have to be the one, like, you are the bride, you are handing me said gift, I'm handing it to your groom.
00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:08.639
Like, there's nobody else because I had bride getting ready and her like bridal suite.
00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:12.000
And I was like, all right, we're gonna grab photo and video right now.
00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:13.679
We're gonna go ahead and give her her gift.
00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:14.240
Who has it?
00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:17.759
And one of the bridesmaids is the one who handed her said card.
00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:23.200
And I watched this bride, just like the life drain from her face as she's reading it.
00:16:23.279 --> 00:16:27.519
And I immediately went, you know what, we're just gonna close these doors and give her a couple minutes.
00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:29.200
And I just like leave her alone.
00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:30.559
She goes, Well, you get my dad.
00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:32.080
I got the chills.
00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:40.399
Um I grab her dad, shut the doors, and maybe 10 minutes later he goes and he goes, Let me remind you, we're the ones who signed your contract.
00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.120
The groom's fan, the groom's family did not.
00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:44.399
I said, Okay.
00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:47.279
He goes, There will not be a wedding today.
00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:51.679
Uh come to find out this was a letter from the mistress.
00:16:53.759 --> 00:16:54.240
Uh-huh.
00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:56.240
For the groom.
00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:56.799
Uh-huh.
00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:57.600
Wait, what?
00:16:57.759 --> 00:16:58.320
For the groom?
00:16:58.480 --> 00:16:58.960
From the groom.
00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:05.279
To this day, this bridesmaids like swear, she's like, I have no, but it was in like, she was like, it was just, this is what I grabbed it from.
00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:06.400
I was just gonna say that.
00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:06.960
Oh, trust me.
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:08.720
The bridesmaid knew.
00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:10.559
Do you think she was sabotaging?
00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:12.559
Was that what it ever said?
00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.839
Well, so here's the thing.
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:17.440
So the dad had said he's like, uh, she's gonna be leaving property.
00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:19.359
She went and got drunk downtown Napa.
00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:23.839
Um, and he goes, uh, we're not telling her mom, we're not telling anybody.
00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:29.839
Like, your job right now is to make this man walk down the aisle and think that his bride is coming towards her.
00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:30.480
Oh my god.
00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:33.680
I was like, oh, I love this.
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:36.000
Yeah, I was like, absolutely.
00:17:36.319 --> 00:17:40.960
And so sure enough, I like no one else but me, the bride, and the dad knew.
00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:47.680
So she leaves and I start ceremony, like the music, the bridesmaids, the things.
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:54.079
He is standing up there, and instead of the dad walking down with his daughter, he walked down alone.
00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:58.240
And to this day, I will never know what he whispered in his ear, but he whispered in his ear.
00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:01.519
And then the groom just turned around and said, There will not be a wedding today.
00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:03.039
Everybody enjoy the fucking party.
00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:04.799
My God.
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:05.599
Yeah.
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:06.319
Wow.
00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:07.279
Yeah, I know.
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:10.160
It's, I mean, that's where I'm like, oh no, we could probably write a book.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:21.680
We, meaning like wedding planners, definitely could, but it's very easy to start to put together my world, like locations, dates, times, and like figure out who our couples are and like whatnot.
00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:24.079
So you do you know what the letter said?
00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:26.799
I just know that it's been, it was just his mistress.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:27.519
Yeah.
00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:28.640
That's so crazy.
00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:30.240
Yeah, that is freaking crazy.
00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:31.839
That one that was a tough one.
00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:35.839
I feel like it makes you a little bit hard to date because you've sort of like seen everything.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.160
I can tell who's in it for love and who's in it for money.
00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:39.119
That's what I'm saying.
00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:48.240
It it not that it jades you, I don't want to say that, but it makes you almost sort of like hyper aware of people, makes you a really good read.
00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:51.440
Like you can read people really easily and what their intentions are, I feel like.
00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:54.799
So can you tell if there's like a woman that's just money hungry gold digger?
00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:55.440
Really?
00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:55.920
Yep.
00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:56.720
Oh, yeah.
00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:02.240
And it's it's hard because at the end of it, if you are in love, like that's why I'm in it.
00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:06.319
So it's really, I kind of like try to find like, okay, but whoa, have you fallen in love?
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:09.599
Like, maybe that's just how you initially met, whatnot.
00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:15.119
Um, but I also say, like, yes, while it's made me very jaded at times, it's also giving me a lot of hope.
00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:18.079
I have definitely done some like second and third marriages.
00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:21.680
Um, I just attended two weeks ago in Florida.
00:19:21.839 --> 00:19:25.039
Um, someone in my industry was their 20-year vow renewal.
00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:33.039
Um, and she also had lost her husband many years before her first husband, and she had like a two-month-old at the time.
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:44.880
And so to be able to see that and her their kids now who are teenagers were there, and to hear them say, like, you've set the bar so high for the kind of love we want one day, like that's what I still want for my kids.
00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:50.480
So, yes, it makes me jaded, and I've certainly seen the best and the worst of it, but I hope for the best still.
00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:53.519
Are you dating on the apps or how are you dating right now?
00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:54.799
Yes, I'm on Raya.
00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:55.359
Are you?
00:19:55.519 --> 00:19:55.839
Yeah.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.599
Um still, it's just so I don't know.
00:19:59.680 --> 00:20:00.720
I like look at the profile.
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:08.960
I'm like, this is just so superficial, and I'd like to think I'm more than just like whatever 500 characters or whatever the hell you're allowed to put on there.
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:10.559
Um it's interesting.
00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:18.640
Probably the first date I went on since losing my late husband, I had told the guy, like we had sat down.
00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:21.200
He's like, So, like, do you have roommates or what?
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:23.200
And I'm like, Well, my roommates are fucking kids.
00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:30.640
So I'm like, I don't know why, like, and to be honest, like when I first started dating, I just didn't want to like tell my life at that point.
00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:31.839
So I remember sitting him down.
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:38.400
I was just like, So here's the thing you could ask questions about like me, but not necessarily like my life.
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:42.079
Like not as you're talking like this bitch is crazy.
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:48.640
He totally did, but like I actually ended up leaving that guy, like in the middle of a bar the next night.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:57.359
But um, yeah, and he was like, Okay, I was like, it's not that I'm like not willing, but like just for like tonight, I just actually don't want you to know about my life.
00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:09.200
And I look back now and I'm so sad in myself that I thought I had to like hide my life to like make a man feel more comfortable around me when I should just share what my life is and who I am and and all the things too.
00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:13.119
Um, but yeah, I've definitely so why did you walk out the next day?
00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:21.839
Uh so the next day, um, I had just told him, like, I'm a mom, he had passed away, like all the things.
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:24.079
And we're at a bar in Nashville.
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:26.079
Nashville's a really convenient place for me, okay?
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:27.519
The country men, that's why.
00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:28.079
Uh-huh.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:32.240
Um, this is the one I said yes to a relationship with, to clarify.
00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:47.920
Um, but we're out having a great time, but he just came far more concerned with anything about himself than like me at this, like in Nashville, Broadway bars are like beyond packed, anyways.
00:21:48.079 --> 00:21:51.839
Um, where other men are coming up being like, is he your boyfriend?
00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:54.000
Or just like, like, what is this?
00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:55.440
Because I want to take you like this.
00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:57.279
You should not be standing here alone.
00:21:57.359 --> 00:21:59.759
And I think at that point I was like standing practically.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:04.079
Alone for like an hour, just like watching this all unfold.
00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:06.000
And so it's all the Bart down there.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:09.680
I was like, hey, when he comes back from whatever the hell he's doing, let him know that I'm gone.
00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:11.039
And he goes and grabs my hand.
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:14.400
He's like, I would have never made you stand here waiting for me like this.
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:15.519
And it was very sweet.
00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:16.400
But I just left him.
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:17.440
I just didn't even say bye.
00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:18.640
I just walked out of the bar.
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:23.920
And it was like the most freeing thing for me of like, I actually don't have to be treated a certain way.
00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:26.400
Even from a random man or whatnot.
00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:28.480
Like that standard could still be there too.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:31.519
He took what you said and like made it into the extreme.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:33.839
He was like, okay, she doesn't want to talk about her life.
00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:34.160
Yeah.
00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:34.880
Watch this.
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:37.039
She's gonna watch mine.
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:37.920
Yep.
00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:38.799
So yeah.
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:40.160
So you had made a comment.
00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:43.839
You have never caught feelings after one date, right?
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:47.039
No, no, that's not really.
00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:47.599
Have you?
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:48.000
I have.
00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:50.240
I've been on one day where I'm like, oh, I really like this guy.
00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:51.920
Not real feelings.
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:52.720
Yeah, maybe I'm not sure.
00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:54.319
Not a nick on a first date.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.000
I'll catch tea real quick.
00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:57.359
Yeah, I'll catch a nick.
00:22:57.599 --> 00:22:59.519
But I I don't typically catch feelings.
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:02.640
It takes a long time for me to really like true feelings.
00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:03.039
Yeah.
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:03.440
Yeah.
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:04.079
I agree.
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:13.599
I think for me it's I'm definitely an open book, but like to tap into like my real heart, I'm like, yeah, that's gonna take you a while to get there.
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:14.799
Um so no.
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:15.759
What are your hobbies?
00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:16.559
What do you do for fun?
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:20.240
Uh love working out at the gym, probably go like five times a week.
00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:23.599
Um, I also take myself shooting every time I'm in town.
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:28.480
Um I drive a pink truck, so that alone being a single mom, you can find me anywhere.
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:31.759
And so I just take it as a big responsibility to train.
00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:34.799
Um and then what else do I do?
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:36.319
I really don't have time.
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:40.960
Um for me, uh dating or whatnot, it's usually when I'm on the road.
00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:43.759
Um, so I'll take myself this last year.
00:23:43.839 --> 00:23:47.279
I've done a lot of solo trips, I've gone to concerts by myself.
00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:53.279
Um yeah, it's kind of so I would say it's more of the gym uh and kind of just traveling.
00:23:53.599 --> 00:23:55.599
Um what is the craziest first date you've ever been on?
00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:56.799
Do you have any crazy stories?
00:23:56.960 --> 00:23:58.960
Oh, uh craziest first date?
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:01.119
Or craziest date or something disastrous?
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:04.400
Like good date or bad date either.
00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:07.279
Um gosh.
00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:12.000
Uh probably the like worst first date I went on.
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:14.799
My gosh, my brother doesn't even know I went out with his friend.
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:19.200
I was probably like, uh, this is I was maybe like 18 years old or something.
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:20.720
I was in New York.
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:23.519
Uh this guy's a few years older than me.
00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:25.839
He's probably like seven years older than me.
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:29.440
But he was always like my brother's hot older friend.
00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:32.400
I really don't know why he took me out, to be honest with you now, looking back.
00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:35.359
But because you were his friend's hot little sister and die.
00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:38.559
Like you probably both had the same fantasies about each other.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:40.720
Probably.
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:44.079
Um, but it was like middle of winter, like January.
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:55.440
I'm out there, and we go to the botanical gardens in New York, which if you don't know, in January, everything's dormant, like all the plants, everything, there's no leaves, it's all dead.
00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:55.920
Okay.
00:24:56.240 --> 00:25:05.119
So we're there, and we're like walking outside in this like garden, and it's just like the saddest, like, there's nothing.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:06.799
Like that was it.
00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:10.880
And so we're like looking at this like 300-year-old tree from like China or something.
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:12.960
I don't even know, like 1500 years, I don't know.
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:15.119
I'm just like, this is cool.
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:18.720
We're probably there for like two, three hours, just like staring at like tree shrubs.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:24.640
And like, but in your head, you're like, you're like, and he's like, she's still so hot.
00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:27.599
Like you're both just thinking in your head about each other.
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:28.160
Nope.
00:25:28.319 --> 00:25:30.720
And like, to be honest, nothing actually came of it.
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:34.079
We both just kind of left it as like, yeah, we can't go down this path.
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:37.039
And I told him, like, this is probably the weirdest date I've been on.
00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:52.160
Um, but I'm in college, like a couple of years later, and this man writes a book about his dating life, and he wrote like a chapter about me, about like the one he wished he always could, but like never was able to.
00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:54.000
And I'm that was my face too.
00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:57.680
As I'm reading this damn book, I'm like, holy shit, this is about me.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:02.160
Um, he was one other because was the botanical garden story in the book?
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:02.960
Yes, it was.
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:03.839
Oh, it's 100%.
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:07.680
So you know he was, so then you know you were both thinking the same thing about each other.
00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:09.039
That's so funny.
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:10.799
Um, other good ones.
00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:12.400
I went on a magic date once.
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:13.279
That one was a pretty good one.
00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:14.000
A magic date?
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:14.640
Yeah.
00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:17.200
So like I didn't know any of the like the plans, the details.00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:18.559
I just knew it was a little fancier.00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:25.200
We show up in the like certain check in time, you like go down this, like, to be honest, I thought it was going to like some sex dungeon or like some.00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:26.880
I was like, what is happening right now?00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:31.440
Like, we are going down a staircase, there's like multiple bodyguards, people to get us in.00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:35.759
Um and the next thing you know, it's like it's a magic show.00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:47.279
So not only like is there the world's first playing cards, like magicians are doing like a ton of like up close magic for you while you're like eating your dinner and whatnot, but then you go in after and it's like a magic show.00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:50.559
And that was fun for it's just like it was so creative.00:26:51.359 --> 00:26:56.079
Um are you all the way through your 10 guys' 10 experiences?00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:56.799
I am.00:26:57.119 --> 00:26:58.880
You are I am what was the best?00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:01.359
What was your favorite experience out of all 10?00:27:01.920 --> 00:27:03.440
Or what was like the most memorable one?00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:04.240
Ooh.00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:08.000
Um that's hard.00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:13.119
I think all of them, the thing I learned from all of them was really how do I choose myself?00:27:13.359 --> 00:27:16.880
Um like my favorite.00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:19.440
Would you have dated any of them long term?00:27:19.599 --> 00:27:21.200
Did you want a relationship with any of them anyway?00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:23.839
The natural boyfriend for a day was a close he was the close.00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:26.240
And why did you decide last minute that you didn't want a relationship?00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:27.279
Did it give you big?00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:28.799
I just it wasn't the ick.00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:32.000
I think with him, a great guy, I call him a golden retriever.00:27:32.160 --> 00:27:34.799
Like he was just like a really great person.00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:39.279
I still feel like he had some growing up to do.00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:44.880
And where I'm at am I like I need somebody, I already bring the damn table myself.00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:54.480
So it's like, unless you can meet me there, I'm not gonna give any bit more of myself to someone to take away either from my kids, my work, and what I do.00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:56.880
So I need somebody who's just like there already.00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:00.799
Um and so I just didn't feel like that was it with him.00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:06.400
Um, not that he was also a dad too, and I think he would be an incredible father to my kids.00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:14.000
Um but just I couldn't see the in-between and like call me in 10 years and see where you are kind of thing.00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:16.160
Um what about the shrub guy?00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:17.839
Like that maybe timing's right now.00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:18.640
Is he still single?00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:19.200
Which one?00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:22.079
The shrub guy with the botanical guns.00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:24.240
I don't even know where he is in the world.00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:27.599
I don't even that that like fizzled long, long, long time.00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:28.240
Yeah.00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:30.720
Um people underestimate the power of timing.00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:33.759
Maybe now it's your time to go to the botanical gums.00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:34.480
No.00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:37.039
It'll be like a hallmark, it'll be like a Hallmark movie.00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:38.000
Is your brother married?00:28:38.240 --> 00:28:38.799
Yes, he is.00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:39.279
Oh, okay.00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:39.599
He is.00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:44.640
So like the it wasn't like the friend came to your brother's wedding and then you maybe like each other for the first time.00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:50.880
No, I'm like, other ones on the 10 men, 10 experiences.00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:55.519
It's funny, once I like got to the end, I was like, well, what if I want more?00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:56.559
Like, I'm not done.00:28:56.720 --> 00:29:07.920
Like, I'm not like in my head, I was like, okay, give yourself a number that, like, okay, going on 10 dates or whatever it is, like 10 experiences where you're gonna learn about yourself, where you could then be more willing to be in something more serious.00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.680
Um, and then I got to the end, I'm like, well, I'm not, I'm not done.00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:12.559
This is fun.00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:19.599
And I think the cool part in so much of me traveling is just culturally, like, no matter where I'm at in the world, men are very different too.00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:21.759
And how they treat women are very different.00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:27.039
Italian, European men, they're like little lovers and they're so sweet and kind.00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:36.400
And then there's definitely the players who just like send me a tip, and I'm like, Yeah, they're different, but they're the same.00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:41.279
Like, I feel like they're there's little differences, but yeah, it's like men are men.00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:42.240
Men are men.00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:43.440
They sure are.00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:44.640
You ready for it?00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:45.359
I'm ready for it.00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:48.480
The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies.00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:50.000
They help you keep more in your wallet.00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:52.799
We help you keep more in your relationship.00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:55.200
All right, so we have a question, a listener question.00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:55.920
This is a long one.00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:58.559
It's uh we got background information this week, you guys.00:29:58.720 --> 00:29:59.039
Okay.00:29:59.279 --> 00:29:59.599
Okay.00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.160
I'm newly official with my boyfriend.00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:08.640
It's only been about a week, but we've been talking/slash dating without a title for about four months.00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:14.880
I'm a fitness trainer and posted a picture with the purpose of showing off my abs in my new gym set.00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:24.160
Shortly after he called and told me that it was common sense not to post my body, that it was a turnoff, and that he doesn't want others seeing what he sees.00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:32.960
But just last week we were talking about this exact thing, and he said he understood my intentions with the photos I post, so this felt confusing.00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:39.920
I deleted the post to avoid conflict, but now I feel guilty for feeling proud about my body, and I'm questioning myself.00:30:40.079 --> 00:30:53.119
I'm not trying to villainize him, I'm genuinely looking for perspective on whether this is a normal early relationship adjustment, an insecurity that can be worked through, or something I should pay more attention to as a potential red flag.00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:54.720
Some additional info.00:30:54.880 --> 00:30:57.279
He's 38, I'm 20.00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:06.559
Another thing he asked me to, and I did, fire my male trainer because I was training in his garage.00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:08.960
This was before we were officially a couple.00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:11.200
I say red flags all around, personally.00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:11.759
Same.00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:12.400
Run.00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:12.559
Yeah.00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:13.039
Run.00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:14.960
So he knew what she did.00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:18.079
She's a fitness instructor, and part of that is showing results.00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:22.160
And maybe the age thing is just coming into play at 38, you're already taking it.00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:23.920
38, you should be far more confident though.00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:26.079
You should.00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:27.599
But that's why it's a red flag.00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:27.920
Yeah.00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:30.079
Because it's now it's it's controlling.00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:31.759
Yeah, it's not just insecurity.00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:32.880
It's controlling control.00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:34.079
And it's gonna get worse.00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:34.400
Yep.00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:41.839
I think if he even before the being official is having you fire your trainer and then you have a talk about posting, and then you're still gonna go back.00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:48.000
I go back to my story of like you shouldn't have to shrink yourself to fit your partner.00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:51.119
It's so true, and so many women do, and it makes me sad.00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:52.720
You should not have to shrink yourself.00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:54.240
So, no, big red flags.00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:54.559
Agreed.00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:54.960
Agreed.00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:55.519
Yes, run.00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:56.559
Don't just walk.00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:01.200
So, have you guys heard of Bethany Frankel's new dating platform?00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:05.519
Like, so as of prior to this, wasn't Raya like the cream of the crop?00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:06.000
Yeah.00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:07.680
I would, I mean, I supposedly.00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:08.720
Supposedly, yeah.00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:12.160
So now Bethany Frankel has a new dating platform called The Core.00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:12.720
Have you heard of it?00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:13.119
No.00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:22.079
So it's a high-end, intention-focused community launching, it launched actually in late 2025 as a reaction to broken apps.00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:25.359
Uh, they feature strict rules against ghosting, catfishing.00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:32.160
They have a vetting process and fees over a thousand dollars to create a sanctuary for serious, meaningful relationship seekers.00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:43.200
It emphasizes quality, curated connections, community events, and offers tiers for content access or serious partner searching, aiming for deep compatibility over superficial swiping.00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:48.000
I I looked it up and I guess the least expensive one you can get is$1,200.00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:49.119
That's what I read too.00:32:49.359 --> 00:32:50.319
It was$1,200.00:32:50.559 --> 00:33:06.079
I just feel like if you're not utilizing some sort of matchmaking or like a psychology-based matching software algorithm or something, it's not gonna be any different than any of the other apps.00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:06.720
I agree.00:33:06.799 --> 00:33:07.599
I completely agree.00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:10.559
You know, it's just it's gonna be the same shit but in a higher tax bracket.00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:11.119
Yeah, basically.00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:11.680
Exactly.00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:12.000
I agree.00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:14.559
That's exactly what it is, just for wealthy people who can afford it.00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:14.880
Yeah.00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:21.119
So you're just kind of guaranteeing the pool is the same, but it's not actually getting you any more results.00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:25.920
How do you really figure out if someone's truly gonna not ghost and not catfish?00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:26.720
Do you know what I'm saying?00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:28.319
Yeah, yeah, you can't.00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:28.960
You can't.00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:30.640
Men are men are gonna be men.00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:39.039
Men are gonna No, because that's what when I was reading about it, I was like, oh, she's gotta have some sort of like science-backed something, right?00:33:39.119 --> 00:33:47.839
Like there's gotta be some sort of psychology, like with I was it millionaire matchmaker who would do like she would do like a whole profile on you, wouldn't she?00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:54.160
Sort of, and like run it through a computer system to find matches based on answers to certain questions.00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:58.240
But I don't think Bethany Frankles is has anything to do with that.00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:01.359
I think it's just like if you can afford to be on it, you can afford to be on it.00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:03.039
What is the community events?00:34:03.119 --> 00:34:06.400
I wonder if they do like they host events for guests, you know.00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:07.200
That's kind of cool.00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:08.000
That's kind of cool.00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:12.800
Wh where you can meet all the like that would be kind of fun to meet all the people on hinge in one room.00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:18.559
I guess I'm single again.00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:23.119
But um, but yes, and 1200 starting.00:34:23.199 --> 00:34:24.559
So is that the basic?00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:27.039
So you just see them, you can't connect with them, you know?00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:27.679
Yeah.00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:34.480
I wonder I wonder too, or if it's like the 1200 is for a certain number of matches or a certain number of swipes.00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:35.360
Oh, interesting.00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:35.679
I don't know.00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:40.800
See, it says mission to fix the flawed dating world by fostering genuine connections, integrity, and trust.00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:42.079
I just don't see how that can do it.00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:43.119
I don't know.00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:43.920
That's what I'm saying.00:34:44.000 --> 00:35:00.960
I don't know how it can, I don't know how it can claim to be that way without any sort of different, like without making it and then it says structure more like an exclusive social club or co-op than a traditional dating app, focusing on community and curated introduction.00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:04.320
So maybe they do actually, I don't know, have events.00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:04.880
Yeah.00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:11.760
And it's again supposed to be for serious people, but how do you really gauge if someone's actually on there with serious intentions, you know?00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:14.079
But did you see Bethany Frankel?00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:16.000
So my husband used to fly for Spirit Airlines.00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:17.440
And you know how they have a bad rep.00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:18.719
You know how everyone makes fun of them.00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:23.519
Did you see she did a you know how she does TikToks where she tests, like, you know, drugstore makeup products?00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:24.559
So she went on spirit.00:35:24.719 --> 00:35:25.679
She fought she didn't.00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:26.480
Oh, delirious.00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:32.239
She raved about here's the thing, she flew Spirit to Miami.00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:32.800
She was going to St.00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:34.800
Bart's, then took her private jet from Miami.00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:37.280
I guess my private jet didn't go to LA or whatever.00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:38.400
But she raved about it.00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:39.039
She loved Spirit.00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:41.199
Did she did she upgrade to business class?00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:43.119
Like, did she do or did she do gen pop?00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:46.239
I guess she no, I because I can't see better than gen pop.00:35:46.800 --> 00:35:48.239
I guess the spirit, and I never knew this.00:35:48.320 --> 00:35:53.280
You can pay extra to have someone escort you like through all security so you don't have to do any waiting.00:35:53.360 --> 00:35:54.079
So she did that.00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:54.400
Okay.00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:55.280
But yeah, she loved it.00:35:55.440 --> 00:35:55.840
That's hilarious.00:35:56.079 --> 00:35:57.440
But then she so I didn't know that St.00:35:57.599 --> 00:35:59.119
Bart's, is that how you pronounce it or is it Bart?00:35:59.440 --> 00:35:59.519
St.00:35:59.599 --> 00:35:59.920
Bart's.00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:04.719
I guess that's a popular destination for the rich and famous for New Year's Eve, and everyone goes there.00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:05.519
And she hated it.00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:10.239
She said it was all about being seen and what you're wearing and where you're at and who you are.00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:15.760
And I guess she ended up leaving early because she got some bacterial infection from a towel at one of the bars.00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:17.599
So she was not on you.00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:19.760
She did not like it.00:36:20.239 --> 00:36:22.400
So now it's time for the celebrity cup.00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:26.079
We'll be marinating the juices of the celebrities, but this isn't talking about celebrities.00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:27.519
This is just something I found so interesting.00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:30.079
Do you guys know Tuca Madeira in Smash Bell?00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:30.880
It's like one of my favorites.00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:31.840
I saw this.00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:33.280
The lawsuit! Yeah.00:36:33.599 --> 00:36:34.719
Did you see the lawsuit?00:36:35.599 --> 00:36:37.760
I've been buried under a rock for the last couple of weeks.00:36:38.159 --> 00:36:40.400
So I love the spicy passion fruit margaritas.00:36:40.639 --> 00:36:42.239
It's like one of my favorite drinks in the world.00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:44.000
And they're, I like their live shows there.00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:45.440
They do the fire dancing.00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:46.000
Yeah.00:36:46.079 --> 00:36:47.119
And the saxophone player.00:36:48.079 --> 00:36:50.719
But so a friend of mine, you know him too, we had a call with him.00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:52.639
He um is one of the investors.00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:54.880
He's the one that started the lawsuit.00:36:54.960 --> 00:36:57.519
Like I read the article and I saw his name, and I text him like, what?00:36:57.760 --> 00:36:58.960
It's like, yeah, that's me.00:36:59.199 --> 00:37:02.159
So he's suing the owners because he's one of the investors.00:37:02.239 --> 00:37:11.360
And apparently, the three owners who my friend invested money in used millions of investor money to bankroll a flashy lifestyle that included flying out OnlyFans.00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:12.559
I did see this story.00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:15.360
Buying luxury homes and cars, traveling the world.00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:17.840
Of course, they claim that they're innocent.00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:22.960
But Tosh, Michael, and Madeir diverted cash from a few of their restaurants.00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:28.960
They also own Casa Madeira in LA, Toca Madeira in Scottsdale, and a few other restaurants in Nevada, Florida.00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:35.920
Um, the lawsuit claims that they used funds for airfare for OnlyFans, models, and other women to attend openings.00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:47.119
They bought a$5 million Miami home, an Aspen Ranch, and luxury vehicles, including a white Ferrari and a Maybach SUV, including lengthy trips to Europe, Australia, Dubai.00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:48.239
Isn't that crazy?00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:56.159
And then additional claims include misrepresenting the fees earned from renting out Tokamadeira, Las Vegas for Super Bowl parties two years in a row.00:37:56.400 --> 00:38:03.599
The first event, they claimed they only bought in$600,000, but they actually bought in$1.3 million.00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:04.239
Wow.00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:05.840
So they lied, yeah.00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:07.039
To investors.00:38:07.199 --> 00:38:14.800
When investors sought detailed financial records in May 2024, they said they did not hear back within the allotted 10 days.00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:24.719
Uh the Scottsdale restaurant then produced some documents to placate the investors, uh, but they say the disclosures were incomplete, which later and ultimately ended up in the lawsuit.00:38:24.960 --> 00:38:27.920
Oh, what a tangle web we weave when we choose to deceive.00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:28.559
That's right.00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:33.119
I'd be pissed if I was one of the investors, and here they are on OnlyFans models and homes.00:38:33.519 --> 00:38:34.400
Was your friend pissed?00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:35.599
Oh, yeah, he's furious.00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:36.079
Yeah.00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:37.679
So he's the one that I guess started the lawsuit.00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:38.800
They'll get their money back.00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:54.559
And it's interesting because I have a friend who is he works for the Sam Fox organization of restaurants, and he's gone to other cities to open restaurants for this particular restaurant within like that umbrella or whatever.00:38:54.719 --> 00:39:04.000
Um, and he's like, oh yeah, you know, we hire influencers and food critics and all of these people from social media and even just to come and sit and make the bar look good.00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:09.360
He's like, it's not always about getting a review or getting a post or something, but it's just like practice.00:39:09.679 --> 00:39:12.079
You want to have beautiful people sitting at your bar.00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:16.239
And so when I started to read it, I was like, oh, that's not the OnlyFans girls, whatever.00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:19.360
They probably were just hired to, you know, make the bar look pretty.00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:24.639
And then I'm like reading it and I'm like, whoa, and a house and a car and a rental house.00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:27.039
Like, talk about going a little too far.00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:28.639
Yeah, a little too far.00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:30.079
Yeah, that's crazy.00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:32.239
So, where's your favorite place to go on a first date?00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:33.119
Are you a dinner gal?00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:34.639
Are you an activity girl?00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:35.599
Oh, I don't know.00:39:35.679 --> 00:39:38.000
Well, in one of the it was not a great date.00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:41.440
I got brought once to um like an escape room.00:39:41.519 --> 00:39:42.880
Like, don't give me an activity.00:39:43.039 --> 00:39:44.719
That that like stresses me.00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:46.159
Uh, probably dinner.00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:46.719
Dinner?00:39:46.880 --> 00:39:47.679
Yeah, probably dinner.00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:49.440
Where's your favorite restaurant?00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:50.239
Ooh.00:39:51.519 --> 00:39:52.320
See, that's so hard.00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.400
I always get asked, like, where's your favorite place to travel?00:39:54.480 --> 00:39:54.880
Where's this?00:39:55.039 --> 00:39:56.719
Like, I I get to go to some cool places.00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:58.159
Or like what type of food?00:39:58.559 --> 00:39:59.599
Oh, definitely Italian.00:39:59.760 --> 00:39:59.840
Yeah.00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.679
Give me Italian, give me a little comfort food.00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:05.519
I love to cook, so for me, I want to like eat something usually that I don't make.00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:06.559
Um, yeah.00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:07.920
Is dinner first?00:40:08.239 --> 00:40:09.920
What if you've never met the guy before?00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:12.480
Are you still good with still dinner for a first date?00:40:12.719 --> 00:40:13.519
Yeah, I'd rather do that.00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:14.559
Yeah, let me talk to you.00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:15.760
What if it's awful?00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:17.280
No, it's still here's the thing.00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:22.960
Even if I've already decided five minutes in, it's I'm like not into it, I'm still gonna have a great time with that person.00:40:23.199 --> 00:40:27.760
And just yeah, so it's like, no, I'd rather have that than just get a drink.00:40:27.840 --> 00:40:28.639
And I don't know, yeah.00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:31.519
That was always kind of the same because I like to ask questions.00:40:31.599 --> 00:40:38.159
So even if you know it wasn't a match, I could always ask questions and learn something from it and have a nice meal and a nice glass of wine at the time.00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:38.559
Yeah.00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:43.280
But I think it's also then like I don't go out then with like I call my flat noodles.00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:47.519
Like, if you are already just like should not be on a date together.00:40:47.679 --> 00:40:51.039
So it's usually then like they're already interesting, they have a career, they have a job.00:40:51.119 --> 00:40:59.519
So like there's kind of no kind of know that like there's more beyond just like should we be attracted to each other that like we can talk about beyond.00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:00.320
So yeah.00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:04.400
Now it's time to get to know you with Zoyo, sponsored by Zoey, your neighborhood yogurt.00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:05.679
Rapid fire questions.00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.920
What's your favorite body part on a man?00:41:08.400 --> 00:41:09.440
Oh, arms.00:41:09.760 --> 00:41:11.760
What should you not do on a first date?00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:13.760
Or what should someone not do on a first date?00:41:14.559 --> 00:41:19.599
Uh talk about exes a good one.00:41:19.840 --> 00:41:22.320
Where should someone not take a girl on a first date?00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:25.199
Take a girl on a first date.00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:27.039
Uh to your mom's house.00:41:27.679 --> 00:41:29.679
Is watching porn considered cheating?00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:30.480
No.00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:34.639
Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?00:41:35.440 --> 00:41:35.599
Yeah.00:41:36.079 --> 00:41:37.920
Is it acceptable to have sex on the first date?00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:38.719
Yes.00:41:39.039 --> 00:41:42.559
Should you disclose mental health issues early on in a relationship?00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:43.039
Yes.00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:46.159
And last but not least, do you have a special talent that not many people know about?00:41:47.519 --> 00:41:49.760
Or a unique fact that not many people know?00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:56.880
I mean I'm like the world's best problem solver, so like let me solve your life problems.00:41:57.119 --> 00:41:57.280
Yeah.00:41:57.679 --> 00:41:58.400
I have a question.00:41:58.480 --> 00:42:01.599
So I know how when did you meet your your late husband?00:42:01.840 --> 00:42:02.800
Uh 2021.00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:05.039
Like, or sorry, I was like turning 21.00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:07.280
Was it did you meet him in the wild?00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:19.039
No, we went to school together, but technically at a bar, like I had saw him at school in college, and then like that night was like first night out at the bars, and he asked to buy me a drink, and we were together ever since.00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:23.679
And now, so you had two young kids, and then he chose to take his own life, correct?00:42:23.760 --> 00:42:27.360
Yeah, so I that's just I can't fathom having two young kids.00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:27.920
Were you angry?00:42:28.159 --> 00:42:34.320
Like the emotions that you must have gone through anger and sadness and grief, like I can't think of anything worse.00:42:34.639 --> 00:42:35.519
Neither can I.00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:39.199
I think for me, and I feel all those things probably every single day.00:42:39.679 --> 00:42:46.079
Um, and now right now, almost two years later, I can look at his decision so differently.00:42:46.239 --> 00:42:47.360
I understand it for him.00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:50.079
I look at my kids and I'll never understand it for them.00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:54.960
Um he grew up without a dad, and so to leave them without one, to me, that's a piece.00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:58.960
I just I'll never forgive him for what he's done to them.00:42:59.199 --> 00:43:03.199
Um, but it only makes me want to show up more every day for them.00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:13.119
Um I mean, yes, I travel, but even though every single day since he's passed, I've taken my kids to school, I pick them up, I am truly want to show up for them.00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:18.480
And I want if I just I think every time, especially with my daughter, if this was her, what would I want her to do?00:43:18.559 --> 00:43:24.239
And I'd want her to live her life to the fullest and figure out what makes her own self still happy.00:43:24.639 --> 00:43:32.159
And that was probably the biggest lesson I had to learn after losing him was probably that first year I was like, can I still be happy with myself?00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:33.760
Who am I at that point?00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:36.719
Again, being 20 to 21 years old meeting him.00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:39.199
I was a baby back then.00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:43.360
And now as a career woman, now as a mom, I'm a way different human.00:43:43.599 --> 00:43:45.119
Um, and I wanna be.00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:56.639
And so yeah, I mean, there's definitely highs and lows and and all of that, but really and even attending that 20 year vow renewal, it just has shown me how much more I should have been treated then.00:43:56.880 --> 00:43:59.599
And that's kind of in that 10 men, 10 experiences.00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:09.280
Had some men when I've told them how he passed, give me the world's most incredible responses to it and set that bar so high, even from just the jump of like first date, yeah, he passed away.00:44:09.360 --> 00:44:19.840
Yes, he took his own life, but there should still be a way to respond to me about that than just leaving me in a bar alone in Broadway in Nashville.00:44:20.159 --> 00:44:23.119
Um, and so yeah, it's it's a journey.00:44:23.360 --> 00:44:28.000
Um, but I'm committed to finding my person to have my 20-year vowel renewal, too.00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:29.119
And you know the whole package.00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:32.880
I mean, you're clearly beautiful, you're successful, you're smart, you love to cook.00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:34.480
Every man's dream.00:44:34.719 --> 00:44:35.360
Yeah, that's for me.00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:44.000
It's like so when it's like I only know how to be a wife, I only know how to do all those things and still run my company and I still have my kids, but I want to show up still as a wife.00:44:44.079 --> 00:44:44.639
Um at the time.00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:46.159
And I feel like that's hard to find nowadays.00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:48.559
I feel like a lot of women don't want to show up as a wife.00:44:48.639 --> 00:44:50.559
They're so focused on their career and ambition, you know?00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:50.960
Yep.00:44:51.039 --> 00:44:51.599
And that's the thing.00:44:51.679 --> 00:44:54.800
It's like I'm already kind of there at a place with my career.00:44:55.039 --> 00:45:03.599
Um, I wanna I wanna be a wife still and a mom, and that's ultimately my goal is how can I be the best present mom and a great supportive wife?00:45:03.760 --> 00:45:04.960
My career will always be there.00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:05.679
And that's the thing.00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:10.239
Even if I had a very successful man walk in and say, You don't need to work anymore, well, that'd be great.00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:11.119
Don't get me wrong.00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:12.960
I would still do it because I love this.00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:18.079
And any man, which I've had men tell me I wouldn't want you to, that man's not for me.00:45:18.239 --> 00:45:20.480
Um, because I do love what I get to do.00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:22.880
I love solving the crazy things that come up.00:45:23.039 --> 00:45:24.400
That's what fuels me.00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:27.920
Um, and I don't want my kids to see they know that about me.00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:32.320
And if a man walked in and that changed about me, that's again me changing to fit them.00:45:32.400 --> 00:45:33.119
And I won't do that.00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:35.119
Well, any man that lands you is a lucky man.00:45:35.280 --> 00:45:35.840
Oh, thank you.00:45:36.079 --> 00:45:38.239
Thank you so much for joining us this week at the Meat Market.00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:39.360
And thank you so much, Michaela.00:45:39.519 --> 00:45:43.840
If you want to snag a date with Michaela, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast.00:45:43.920 --> 00:45:46.480
And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies.00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:52.239
This tax season, if you want to keep more of your own money in your own wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies.00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:54.159
We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.
