HER 90 DAY RULE: CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

Social Media Persona Versus Real Life

SPEAKER_02 0:00

So you have a huge social media following. Are people intimidated by that?

SPEAKER_01 0:04

I think sometimes there's misconceptions. Maybe I'm like stuck up. I'm actually I wouldn't say I'm like introverted, but I'm not always like camera ready. I kind of stay in my bubble sometimes. I work a nine to five. I I do love doing music in my free time. Um but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

That's crazy because your social media makes it seem like you're so confident and outgoing. And so you'd say you're more of an introvert, a little shy?

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Um, I can be a little shy. I wouldn't say I'm an introvert because like once I know someone, or if I'm interested in getting to know someone, I can be very outgoing. Um but yeah, no, I I am very confident for sure. And you said you have a nine to five.

Nine-To-Five At The Med Spa

SPEAKER_02 0:44

What is that?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Yeah, I manage a med spot actually. Oh, you do. That's my day job. Which one? Beverly Hills Rejuvenation Center. Oh, is it on Tatum? Yeah. How fun. Yeah, pass that every day. Yeah. It's so much fun. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

It's funny. The other day we were listening, my daughter does guitar and she was listening to Beverly Hills, and we were at that light there, and she sees Beverly Hills Rejuvenance Center. She's like, Look, mom, Beverly Hills. Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yeah, you guys have to come in some time. I'll give you a treatment. Yeah. So you do music.

How She Started Rapping

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Tell us about that. Yeah, I'm a rapper. So I've been doing that since like 2021, I think. How fun. What made you start getting into rapping? It's so much fun. Actually, my ex did music. Um, and so I would like go to sessions with him sometimes, and I'm like, I just seeing the process of it, I'm like, I can totally do this. It's like poetry. I would notice like he would be like writing or um freestyling, and I would like think of the next line in my head, and I'm like just writing my own stuff down. And when I felt ready enough, I just went in the booth and yeah, it's so much fun. It's really rewarding.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

So you freestyle?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Yeah, sometimes impressive. I always think that people that can do that have to be so smart, right? That's how you get better, I think. I don't, you know, I'm not super confident, like going out there and doing it, you know, in front of like a lot of people right away, but definitely like if I'm prepared for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

So what do they do? They just put on a beat in the background and then you kind of just do your thing. Yeah, that's kind of a beat lens. Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

When you're um, you know, in the studio, I think that's a way that you get better over time is just like putting yourself on the spot and trying to let your mind go wherever it goes. And what do you rap about? I would like to say what whatever I'm feeling, but honestly, I don't do things like most artists that I've met. I I normally like write without a beat. Like whenever I just think of a lyric in my head, something clever, I'll write it down and typically I'll just go back into my notes and and take a couple lines that I wrote, like maybe um earlier in the week and just like stem off of that. So um just kind of like taking subject matter from that.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

So I saw this interview with Lil Wayne, and he was saying that he doesn't write any music. All his songs have just been him freestyling, and then he has someone that, as he's freestyling, writes all the lyrics down, and then he has to read them and memorize them for shows and stuff. Yeah. So like it's genius.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Like he's the goat, honestly. He's like my favorite rapper for sure. Funny you say that.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Yeah, yeah, he's great. He's one of my favorites too.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Yeah, incredible. His like lyricism is just unmatched.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

And so you've recorded stuff. Do you have somewhere where we can listen online where people can listen?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, I'm on uh all platforms, Ollie J with two Y's. Um, but yeah, I have I think like maybe four or five songs out right now. I'm actually getting ready to drop an album here soon.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Congratulations!

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Thank you. Yeah.

Dating Creatives And What Matters

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Do you date guys in the music industry? You said you got into music from an ex. Is that sort of your type?

SPEAKER_01 3:34

I don't want to say that I have a type. Um, it seems like I would gravitate more towards like artistic people, whether it be musicians, artists. Um yeah, I've definitely dated artists. I think um it's kind of hard to date someone that doesn't have that like creative aspect in some form, right? Um but yeah, no, I don't I don't really have a type, I would say. Like if you looked at all my exes, you might think that I did. But um, no, I I think like one of my biggest uh turn-ons in a guy is just like intelligence. Seriously, like looks aren't that important to me, actually.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

I think it's important too. I was I have uh a friend in the music industry, and we've talked about this before about dating in your industry because you understand each other. And like you, you know what I mean? To where it's like he's like, it's hard because if uh the person that I'm with doesn't believe that I am where I am, he's like sometimes if a studio or if there's a cancellation after you, then you extend your studio session or what like things change and it's just things happen. And if you're trying to explain this to someone who's not in the same industry as you are, I imagine that could be hard. It could be a hard like thing to navigate in dating.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Right. And also like taking things with a grain of salt that you might be like talking about in your song. Yeah, it doesn't always apply. It's just like maybe it rhymes, or maybe you experienced it years ago. Yes. So they have to definitely have some thick skin when it comes to that for sure.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

And how fun to date someone that you can collaborate with and work artistically together with. I have a friend who's an award-winning um Grammy producer, and he married one of the finalists on the voice, and all the time they're playing together, and he does the guitar and she sings, and like how much fun, yeah, you know, to get to do that with your significant other.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

For sure. I've definitely experienced that. It's it's incredible. It like helps you to grow. It's like a form of bonding for sure, and you challenge each other. So yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

So physically, what's your type?

SPEAKER_01 5:32

I like big muscles. Really? I can't have a scrawny guy. Like, if I sit next to you and my thighs are bigger than yours, I'm I'm not into it. Um, yeah, physically, definitely like someone that's really active in the gym, um, cares about like their diet, their physique, but nothing like conceited. I hate a guy that like, like I said before, selfies full of themselves. Like, I'm not into it. I think men should only post candid photos. Like, if you pose for a photo, I'm usually gonna be like, I kind of agree with that. Isn't that crazy? No, I kind of agree with that. It's like cringy to me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

It's hard though, but it's hard. Okay. The other side of that coin is we just talked about how easy it would be to date someone in the music industry. And you can't date someone in the music industry who's not putting themselves on social media in that way and playing.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Yeah, selfies is different though. Like that's true. Like that is your album shoot or something. That is true. Just there's a tasteful way to go about it. Just to go about a social media presence. Someone has to tell you, like, pose. If you're like, hey bro, take a pic of me real quick, like, oh no.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

It's true. It's true. Yes, I mean, you're not gonna know who I'm talking about, but he posts selfies all pictures all the time of himself, and it's like you know, like that like from that angle. Yeah, he knows all the angles of the lighting, and it's like, oh my gosh. I don't know. Yeah, but I see where you're coming from. I think I'm on the same page.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah, I think my biggest thing though is intelligence. Like, I I need to be with a guy that I can sponge from, not necessarily like teaching me things because I definitely have been on a date with a guy before that like every second it's like, did you know this? And just trying to like enlighten me about things that I may already know. Like, I want to sponge from you naturally. Don't like be condescending or like a know it all.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

Oh, that's the worst, a no-it-all. So, do you have a height requirement? Do you like tall, super tall guys? Um, has to be taller than me, but no.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

I'm like five, four, five, five. Okay. Yeah. Um, I'm not gonna be like super shallow about that, but I don't think I could date a guy that's like eye to eye with me. Like, I just don't think I could submit to him like I would like to.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

And so you're beautiful, clearly. Do you get a lot of guys hitting on you all the time?

Why The Guys You Want Hesitate

SPEAKER_02 7:47

I bet you do.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

You would be shocked, actually. Like, no. Really? I I feel like I don't know if maybe they're intimidated or I'm sure. And not not even to be rude, but like guys that I would never even like look their way would would feel confident enough to try, but then guys that I would actually give a chance, like, don't. I don't know if that's like a normal thing. I think that happens a lot.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Why is that? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Is it because they're not as brave? They're like, what do I have to lose?

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah, maybe and I don't know if maybe attractive guys have never really had to, like, you know what I mean? Like, if you're a super attractive guy, if you always have women throwing themselves at you and you never have to work that hard to or do you think attractive guys are always being hit on?

SPEAKER_02 8:32

So they think, oh, she's so pretty. I'm sure she gets hit on so many times while I don't want to be just another number.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yeah, that could be maybe their pride too. I also like I'm kind of a homebody, like studio homework, out to dinner with the girls, things like that. So I'm not like out in the clubs much really. Um, and I think like in passing, the gym might be the only place or like at my job, and maybe like it's intimidating to go up to a girl at the gym when she's mid-set. Like, most guys don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

So you don't get hit on at the gym at all?

SPEAKER_01 9:01

That's a sometimes. It's it's not usually like anyone that I'd be interested in. What line do they use at the gym? Like, how do you are you done with that when you're like 10 feet away from me? Like just any way to like you know, slide their way in. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

I bet your DMs are crazy.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Yeah, I feel like I I don't post so much lately, but I've definitely gotten some interesting ones.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Have you ever gone on a date with someone from from social media that's DM'd you? That's fit into your DMs.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

You have? Yeah, yeah. Um probably like once or twice. I think like I've definitely had like celebs in the DMs. You have?

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Can you spill the beans on who?

SPEAKER_01 9:43

Oh some some bigger names for sure. Really? Yeah, I don't wanna that's fine. I don't want to name drop, but um she's like after we're done recording. Yeah, I'll tell you guys the tea after. Um, but usually like they're just trying to sleep with you, you know, and that's not really where I am in life right now. You know, I want to be a wife, a mom in the next few years, hopefully. So I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

So you've never gone on a date with any of the celebrities that reached out to you?

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Um, yeah, yeah. The guy that I'm kind of talking to now, um, we met through Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

And he's kind of a is he a celebrity?

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Um, yeah, yeah, sort of. How fun.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Interesting. Yeah.

Creepy DMs And Foot Pic Money

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Is there anything that's if a guy, well, I guess besides from the obvious red flags that would come in a DM, have you have you had any instances where a guy has gotten like creepy or said something way off base or just crazy that you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

This is from Instagram?

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Like that initial DM or like Yes. Yes. Yeah. Um, like celebs or just in general? In general. Yeah. I mean, I've had like requests for like underwear, like pooping in a bag, and they would buy it. What? All the things, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Pooping in a bag, and they would buy it.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Guys are insane, yeah. And this is on Instagram, because I know that OnlyFans that that happens all the time, but on Instagram, that's freaking crazy. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

I guess if you have enough followers on Instagram, you don't need to start an OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Oh yeah, they have no filter, they'll like hit on you one message and you don't reply, and the next one they're like calling you a slut. Like, it's wild.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

Is there anything that you've actually done for money? Like, I've sent feet picks. Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Little things like that, you may as well make posting it on my story when I get them done. Like, why not? Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

How much do you charge for a foot picture?

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Yeah, um, I charged 500 when I sent him some. It was like probably like 10 picks. I'm like, you know, it's easy money. Like, can you hold like a hairspray bottle? I'm like your toes curled around it. I'm like, sure. Oh my god, hilarious. That is hilarious.

Bad Dates And Conversation Deal Breakers

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Do you have any disaster date stories or crazy bad dates?

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Probably kind of um to piggyback what I said earlier, just about like know it all guys. I went on a date with one guy, and it wasn't like the worst date to start out, but I felt like I'm sure you guys can relate a guy that will just talk about himself the whole time, or you'll ask him a question and he just answers it and then doesn't ask you, like, what about you? I hate it. And then I'm like, is this an interview or a date?

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Deal breaker for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

So but it's a pet peeve. If someone can't reciprocate a conversation to be to say something that's open-ended or to ask another question in return, it's like, okay, am I talking to a wall or am I talking to a person? Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

You feel like you're interviewing them. And I I would just think in my head, like, okay, this is gonna be the last date for sure. Um, so yeah, that bothers me a lot for sure.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Have you ever walked out mid-date?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

No, I don't think I have. I'm an empath. Even if I'm having a miserable time, I'd probably be respectful and wait. Yeah. Unless I mean he's being rude or disrespectful. And luckily, I haven't had anything like that yet. I haven't actually been on like so many dates, believe it or not. Really? I've been in a relationship my whole life, like like a few, but yeah, on and off. Have you ever been on the apps? No, never. Yeah, I feel like Instagram has I've had enough luck.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Like I'll just go through the DMs if I'm like they say any app is a dating app if you use it the right way.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

That's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Because I mean, you hear about guys cheating on like apps for like marketplace, like offer up. Yeah, true. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like any app that has messaging capabilities can become a dating app.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

That's one of the reasons why I think I was like a little apprehensive there, just knowing, like, are they ever really gonna get off the apps? And if they have trouble meeting women and and you know, passing and just through mutuals, like I don't know, maybe I'm wrong for this, but like what's wrong with you to need to do that? Yeah, I don't know. No shade to the people that do it, but I don't from stories from my friends, it's like always horror stories, guys like just going on there to sleep around. But one, actually, my cousin met her husband on on Bumble.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

So I met my husband on Tinder. You did? Yeah, no way. But that was back in the day when Tinder was not just a hookup site. Yeah. So I guess it can work. The OG Tinder. The OG Tinder, yeah. So you're very religious.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Um, I am I'm a Christian.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Do you require that in a partner?

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Yeah, definitely. I think like I'm not gonna be such a stickler, like maybe you have to be super strong in your faith to start dating me, but ultimately you have to be open-minded. I think in marriage, that's important to me.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Are you from here?

SPEAKER_01 14:36

I'm from South Carolina actually. Um, but I moved here from Miami like three years ago.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

How did you like Miami?

SPEAKER_01 14:43

I loved it, but it was like so much partying and stuff. I felt like it was hard to balance like party life versus like just staying focused. I guess party work. Are you close with your family? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

My my brother and my sister, okay. I'm close with. Were you is your family religious also? Is that something that you grew up with? Not really. No. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

No, not really. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Um, I was gonna ask what they think of like your music and stuff. Like you know what I mean? Just because it's like I have friends also in music who whose family is religious, because a lot of times that like church gospel turns to music, industry music, and yeah, friends who are whose parents are like, why does there have to be so much cursing in your songs and things like that?

SPEAKER_01 15:32

But yeah, no, um, I think more of the support comes from my friends and my like close circle. Uh, I don't really have a relationship with my parents at all, um, unfortunately. But um, yeah, it's like I don't think blood means family. It's like my close friends are are there for me and and love my music. So that's what matters.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

That's good.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

And you said you do want to get married and have kids. You want a family?

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Yeah. I actually I didn't always like think, you know, I'm born to be a mom or anything. I think like I definitely want to be married. I want to have a husband that I love. And I think like the desire of having children would only be like to further my love with that person and just reach like the ultimate level of it. Um, so now, yeah, I think I would like to have like one ideally a surrogate. I don't I just think it's so much to go through pregnancy and it just you know takes such a toll on you. So if that was an option, I'd love that. I would even really be open to adopting. That's like something I always thought that I would do. But if my future husband is open to that, we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

I always thought I could do a surrogacy, but okay, so I recently watched, did you guys watch the show The Girls? No on it's like a Chloe Kardashian produced show on Hulu about her girlfriends. And a couple of the girls hired like to get an inquiry into how much it was gonna cost for a surrogacy. Do you do you have any idea how much a surrogate costs? It's like 30K. Do you know?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Is it more?

SPEAKER_00 16:56

I was gonna say around 30K. This woman, $250,000, like all in between lawyers and all of that. Granted, it's a like a it was a celebrity consultation. And so you have to figure over price for that. But doesn't that seem like a lot? I wonder how much money the actual surrogate gets there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

I bet not much of that. Probably the surrogate probably gets 30k.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

The rest of it gets yeah, to be a surrogate, maybe you would get 30k, but how much it costs to actually have a surrogate have your baby?

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Dang, that's it.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Her quote was like 250,000. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

That's probably why only celebrities get adopting.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Yeah, at that point, I would maybe just adopt. I always said, like, there's so many kids in need of homes, like, adopt, don't shop.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Adopt, don't have your own. Yeah. Sometimes I wish I could foster to adopt because you see some of these older kids that like, you know, they feel like no one wants them because they're not cute and little. And it but breaks my heart, you know?

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Yeah, I would totally adopt like a 12-year-old. Like you skip the terrible twos and you know, C training, potty training.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

The main thing like I am looking forward to is just having like that older relationship where like I'm a little older, the kids are older, and you know, you have that like family dynamic that maybe I missed when I was younger. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

So how old are you?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I'm 29.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

So are you ready to go to that? You're ready to get married and have kids, or are you still kind of?

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Um, I still have a lot that I want to do in music, and I know not every partner is like gonna be okay with that because it's gonna involve like possibly going on tour and you know, making different appearances and I was gonna say, and in hip hop, it's club appearance.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

It's a lot of like club appearances and things like that. So it's late nights and whatnot. I imagine that would be hard.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Yeah, so I definitely need like my partner to be okay with that. And that's I think when it would might might be beneficial to have another partner that does that. Um but yeah, no, I think if I've met like a guy that I was ready to get married to, then you know, I would be ready. But kids, probably at least a few years.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Are you ready for it?

SPEAKER_00 19:07

I'm ready for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet. We help you keep more in your relationship. We have a listener question.

Halloween Costume Help For A Fifth Wheel

SPEAKER_00 19:17

This is kind of just like a fun little cutesy one. Um, so it says I'm fifth wheeling for Halloween this year, and I need advice on a good costume. My friends and their boyfriends are going as cute couples, Ratatouille and Jasmine and Aladdin. Do you guys have any great ideas for an individual costume? I think I would prefer to look kind of sexy slash cute versus something funny or ridiculous, but I still don't want, but I still want something that looks high effort, as I feel like it will help me cope with being the fifth wheel on Halloween.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

That's tough. I'm not a pro when it comes to interesting sexy Halloween costumes. No.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Yeah, I don't know. I think it kind of depends on the dynamic. I know, like some couples might think, you know, if you're gonna be around your friend's man, you want to be like dressed enough to where it's not disrespectful. Uh-huh. But honestly, like on Halloween, everyone's dressed like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

I feel like that too. I feel like she should be something because they're Disney cat couples. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

Depending how female. Or the villain. She should be like the Jafar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Female Jafar. Is that the monkey? Two sexy monkeys. Right. Yeah. It's like less fifth wheel when you're coordinating with them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

I think that's a great idea. Kind of come up with a character that kind of matches them, fits in.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Yeah. Yeah. You could do a quick or the fairy godmother. Cause Ratit, because aren't the mice in Ratatouille? Ratit, isn't aren't the mice in Cinderella kind of the same style as the mouse in Ratatouille, the rat in Ratatouille?

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

Or the chef.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

A sexy chef. Yeah. Yeah. That's cute. Yeah.

Swipe Fatigue And The Rise Of IRL

SPEAKER_02 20:56

So I was doing some research. Did you know that singles now are increasingly abandoning dating apps due to swipe fatigue, escalating costs, and a lack of genuine connection? We always talk about this, how no one uses the dating apps anymore. People are just over it. Especially the younger generation. No one, no younger generation or most of them aren't on it on the data.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

I've heard a lot of horror stories. There's also like the Facebook groups like, are we dating the same guy? Do you guys ever like go through the rabbit holes of like just reading the comments on those? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Like, do you know this guy? I have new screenshots. Okay, so remember Brandon from Circle K, who I went on a date with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was posted recently, and this the comments were bad. Oh my god. Bad, bad. Bad.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Like, what were they saying?

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Um please.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

I'm so glad we have that resource as women.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Like, no, so I this guy hit on me at Circle K. Younger than you, right? Yeah. And I went, so I looked him up first on Are We Dating the Same Guy? And I did find a post, but the things didn't say very it didn't say very bad stuff about him.

unknown 21:59

Um

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Um, I mean, I knew I wasn't gonna date him, but I was like, I'll go on one date just to just to see how it is. Um, and one date was fine and it was more than enough. But now he's been posted like three or four times since I went on the date with him. Okay, this one says red flag, deeply unhinged and obsessive. When you block him, he will track you down on every social media app and even use his work number to spam you until you respond. He acts regretful, but he refuses to take no for an answer. Save yourself the nightmare and do not give him the time of day. That's crazy. If I would have read that before I went on the date with him, I never would have gone on the date with him.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

That is psycho.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_01 22:40

They're obviously gonna give you, like, you know, their best hook forward on the date.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

You're not gonna know any of this stuff. Uh-huh. That's boring. This person says met him. All he wants to do is hook up. I told him that's not what I wanted, and he's stated he understood, but then still would want to just hook up. I stopped talking to him a long while ago and he randomly will try to talk to me on WhatsApp or add me on IG, but I've never accepted.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

So yeah, so there's a bunch of different um red flag comments about him. But it's crazy because those groups, like the information is so inaccurate, right? I looked him up before I went on the date, and there was a couple little comments that were like, he's fine, but he seems like a player. Okay, whatever. Like, not a big deal. But then it's literally like six months later, and he's posted again, and all of a sudden he's a psycho.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Oh my God. And you have to wonder like, like I said, are they ever gonna get off the apps? Like the girls that they meet, they're keeping tabs on them, maybe still looking up. I saw, I mean, I've seen several times guys on there, like in the comments, the girls are like, Yeah, he got me pregnant. And then like another girl was like, Yeah, me too. Like, what?

SPEAKER_02 23:49

God, my friends. Like, are you guys not wearing condoms? Like, right? Wow. Right. That's crazy. So, yeah, this says major platforms are experiencing sharp declines in user engagement, leading to a broader cultural shift back towards in-person interactions. So 78% of dating app users experience emotional, mental, or physical exhaustion from using the apps. There's a sharp decline in all of the apps while singles are leaving. Superficiality, profile forces users to make instantaneous decisions based entirely on photos rather than personality, which is exactly what our first male guest was saying. Dead ends. Daters spend an average of 50 plus minutes per day swiping, yet 40% state their main cause of exhaustion is the complete inability to find a real connection. Users grow exhausted from repeating the same mundane introductory conversations over and over with multiple people. That would be exhausting. Hi, how are you? How's your day going? This is you know, having the same conversation, shoot me. Yeah, like do I have to tell you my favorite color?

SPEAKER_01 24:51

And for the serial daters, like, or how do you remember all these things about all the women?

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Right, it's true. Um bad behavior. 48% of online daters report experiencing unwanted or toxic behavior while using the apps. Trend trauma, modern online dating has become a minefield of poor communication, with 41% of users admitting to ghosting, 38% being catfished, and 27% enduring love bombing. Basic functions like seeing who liked your profile, undoing a left swipe, or matching outside a strict radius are now hidden behind costly subscription models. That is what would piss me off. When I was on the apps, you could none of that you had to pay for, but now I feel like they nickel and dime you for everything. Oh, so and so liked you. But if you want to see their profile, you gotta pay. But then what if you pay and you see the profile and it's someone who you would never date? Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

This girl that I follow posted on her close friends that she was like just kind of struggling with dating culture and in Arizona. I hear it's bad. Um, but she posted like she downloaded, downloaded the apps just to give it a try, and that it was like $30 just to unlock like people that liked her just for like a week or two. And then after that, it's like a hundred bucks. Like, that's crazy. Make it so hard.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Yeah. When I'm I'm I feel like bringing up the Are We Dating the Same Guy groups, I feel like that's primarily guys that are on the apps.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Like it's women who are posting guys that they've met on the apps. And so it's like, that's all the, I just feel like all the riff-raff is on the apps. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

You see the same faces.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

True. Well, here it says younger demographics like Gen Z are opting for low-stakes, real-world hobbies over digital matching. In-person single event attendance has jumped over 40%. Singles are flocking to neat niche hobby events where a shared interest is guaranteed. For example, trivia nights have surged by 403%, board game slash mahojongong mahjong nights by 235%, and plant workshops by 117%.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

And and you can really find out. So I recently went to a trivia night for a friend's birthday. And I feel like things like that also, they can either give you a shared interest or they can tell you that you don't like someone or don't like a particular like hobby or interest. Like I went to trivia, and I already knew I didn't like my friend's boyfriend, this guy that she's dating, but I went to trivia with them and I was like, I really don't like you. That is fun. I feel like it brings out either the best or the worst in people, like things like that. Sound funny.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Yeah, you do have to try new things though when you're like not having luck in the clubs and the bars. Like it's no surprise you want to go to places where you might have common interests with someone, like you know, the golf courses or maybe like, I don't know, high net worth events where you might meet people kind of in your same playing field rather than guys just trying to sleep around. Yes. And that's why I like really believe in the like 90-day rule. I feel like even on the apps, like in order to get that really good, genuine experience from a guy that you think is really actually trying to date you and not just sleep around, like you have to make him wait. And I've never had a one night stand for that reason.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

But I'm trying to think, like, if I was single and I was trying to find someone in one of these clubs, like I feel like if I let's say I because I don't have, I mean, I would go to a cooking class, but a decent guy's gonna really be at a cooking class, you know? Maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Do you wanna do you want a decent guy that knows how to cook?

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Yeah, but I mean I like to cook, but I just can't imagine many single men going to cooking classes. Do you know what I'm saying? Maybe gay guys.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Yeah, probably.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Yeah, like so I'd be screwed there.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

I don't know. Like, I like making cocktails, I'll go to a cocktail making class, but then what guy's gonna go to a cocktail making cooking?

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Like the aspiring bartenders. Yeah, I've Aspiring bartenders, aspiring alcoholics, alcoholics.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

That's funny. I don't

Ed Sheeran Macklemore Tour Controversy

SPEAKER_02 28:44

know. But yeah, now it's time for the celebrity cup where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities. So we've got to talk about this whole Ed Sheeran Macklemore thing. Because you know, you know how you you guys heard about that, right? No. So Ed Shuren is Ed Sheeran is touring, and Macklemore was one of his many opening acts. And before Macklemore started his set, he gave a free Palestine speech. He got kicked off the tour. Um, and then the other opening acts boycotted the tour and they left as well. And then Ed Shearn's been getting boycotted, and people are slamming him on social media. Is was it ultimately Ed Sheeran's decision to get rid of Macalmore? Is it his fault? So I know there are two sides. So um the person that so Robert Croft, I guess, owns a bunch of the stadiums. He um said that McAllamore was not welcome at the venues that he owns. And then the so the promoter was the one that decided to kick Ed Sheeran off, the tour promoter. Ed Sheeran, I guess, has lost a lot of friends, lost a lot of families, lost a lot of followers, um, lost a lot of sales. And I'm just wondering, like, was it his call, was it his fault? But then, yes, you could say, okay, he could have stood up and said, I'm not gonna continue this tour if you kick McLamore off. I'm gonna stand behind him, stand behind the behind the cause. I'm not gonna continue. And but he did continue. How do you guys feel about that?

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Then that's his bad.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

You think it so you think it was his fault?

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Well, I don't know if that's I mean, if he could have done if he could have done more and he didn't, then I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Yeah, it's always risky when you're discussing something controversial with such a huge platform like in the middle of a tour. I yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

So I'm just um so my question is this. So did he have a choice in the matter? Do you know what I'm saying? The tour promoter was like, we're getting rid of him because I know there's you know, Robert Croft owns so many stadiums. He's a billionaire, right? So he probably wanted to ensure that Macklemore does not continue on this tour. And a lot of people supported Macklemore, followed suit, whatever. Did Ed Sheeran have a choice? And he did at one of his concerts give a speech where he was crying and he's made mistakes and he felt guilty. But was it could did he have a say in the matter? Did he have a choice?

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like because the way you've it read first made it sound like he did have a choice.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

But could he have said, I'm not gonna finish this chart? I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

I don't know how to go on strike.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Yeah, yeah. Can you do that as an artist, or do you have contracts that you signed that you need to fulfill?

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah, I mean, I mean, if they're breaking half of it, like I think he should be able to have a say in it.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

At least three of them are already breaking contract, right? By canceling one of his opening acts, sort of. So then that opens up contract renegotiation. Exactly. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. So maybe he did have more say, I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

I just see a lot of people slamming him and canceling him. And I just want to ask the question did he have a choice? I'm sure it wasn't his decision to get rid of McLamore. I'm sure it was higher up there. It are are musicians just kind of like monkeys dancing on a stage where someone billionaires are using them as puppets, you know?

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Yeah, I think he ever say in anything. How passionate he personally is about the matter, and also like, is the tour and the money like more important to him than defending him? Like, do they have a personal friendship? Like, there's so many factors. But yeah, I think he could have, you know, said something if it was important to him.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

He could have been like, listen, I'm not gonna continue the tour unless you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Yeah, and surely their relationships affect it if he didn't or won't.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

Yeah, true.

Rapid Fire Red Flags And Dating Rules

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Now it's time to get to know you with Zoya, sponsored by Zoya, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions. Is it a red flag if he makes you split the bill on the first date?

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Absolutely. That uh that will be my first time getting up and walking out of a date.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Really?

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Like, okay, I'm going to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

He still follows his ex on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Yeah, I don't play any of that. No.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

What if he's still friends with his ex? Deal breaker.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

I don't even like girlfriends. So if he has a friend that's a girlfriend, really? Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I I don't I've just had bad experiences. I've seen like bad things happen with other friends that that allow that. And I just think like if most of the time if a guy has a girlfriend, he has tried her, will try her in the future, is waiting on his time to slip in there somehow. Um, I just think there's like never anything good unless it's like family. I don't want any other women in your life. It's me and your mom. Do you have guys and sisters? Um, no, I think like with being in a relationship, like so much of my life, not really, but kind of in between, I have had guy friends. And I feel like, again, if I would allow it, they would sleep with me. Of course. Why wouldn't they? Yeah. Would you date someone with kids? I have. Um, I don't know, it's hard to say. Like, I had a terrible experience with my ex and and his daughter because he relied on me so much to be that like stepmom figure. And I don't think I would do that again because I was like 21 and I'm like waking up early to like get her ready for school and like cook her breakfast. And it was like a huge burden on me. Not to mention I wasn't really happy with him. But since I am getting older now and I think a lot of guys do have kids, if he's a really present father, the mom's also really present, or he's compensating for her lack of presence. I think I'd consider it as long as it's not really taxing for me. Or um, I mean, in a marriage, yeah, I'd be open to it.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

That's crazy. Expecting a 21-year-old to raise your daughter, that's a lot of making a breakfast and waking up.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

That's a that situation sounds like not a super typical step parent situation. Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

I think men will do what you allow for sure. I'm such a people pleaser and an empath, and like, you know, I wanna like please my partner and prove myself. And like, I got to a point where I'm like, shit, like this sucks. Yeah, you know, I didn't have this kid, and I'm having to really step up.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

How long were you raising this girl for? Was it a long relationship?

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Um, yeah, I think we dated for like five years. So I kind of watched her grow up. Oh wow. Was that hard when you ended the relationship with him? Did you were you sad? No, I wasn't sad. And I think like, I don't know, I think a lot of people don't talk about this. Like, especially as a woman, when you're in like a toxic relationship with a man, I think women emotionally check out long before they actually leave. And so by the time I left, I was just like disgusted with him and and all the love was gone. And I think like he probably went through it after I left, thinking I never would. Um, but yeah, gosh.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

What if they're a bad tipper?

SPEAKER_01 35:24

A bad tipper. At least 20%. I think like the service has to be good. I'm I'm not gonna be like, you know, you have to give her so much if it if it wasn't good, but yeah, at least 20%. Like, don't leave the house if you're not prepared for that, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

What if they have no social media?

SPEAKER_01 35:39

No, that's a green flag. I think.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

Where should someone not take you on a first date?

SPEAKER_01 35:45

I would probably say I want to go somewhere where we can talk. You need to spend at least $200, I think, on that first date. Like, prove yourself. You're trying to impress me. Don't like do the bare minimum.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

What is the best date you've ever been on that you can remember? The best first date?

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Probably a studio session. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

So he was also a musician?

SPEAKER_01 36:05

Yeah. I think that was so much fun. It's a way to like just get to know each other and bounce ideas off each other, and like that creative aspect really intrigues me. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Is watching porn considered cheating?

SPEAKER_01 36:19

I think if you are doing it together, which I'm open to with my partner, but I don't want to like, and my ex even, I would like walk in and he's like watching it. I feel like that's inappropriate. Also, yeah, isn't isn't it like so sketchy when like a guy, I'm sure you guys have like caught your man like in his history watching porn, and like the porn they're watching like looks nothing like you. And you're like, Am I even? Why are you yes?

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Why are you into this? And am I even your type? Like, why do you like me? No, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Yeah, so I think like if you're watching it together, it can be a healthy way to keep things interesting. But I don't know about doing it on your own because like, am I not satisfying your needs?

SPEAKER_02 37:01

You you walk in and he's watching it. Why didn't he come to you to fulfill his needs? Yeah, satisfied that is.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

It's kind of weird and wait until you come home five minutes.

SPEAKER_02 37:08

Like, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Absolutely not. That's so childish. That's like high school shit. It's so true. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date? Acceptable, yes. I wouldn't though. I think men, you have to make them work for it. I think like the dating culture now, like men just don't work for it. They just sleep around. And I think that's why there's a lot of like failed marriages because men just like can get what they want right away, and you know, they don't really focus on like building like maybe they would have a long time ago.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

So do you hold fast to your 90-day role or do you break it in special circumstances?

SPEAKER_01 37:51

I have broken it. I think this is something that I've um kind of adapted within the last like I don't know, six, seven years um, just because of like failed experiences previously, where maybe I'm trying to prove myself or act impulsively. And I really want to make sure that I see a future with this guy and not just sleep around because let's be honest, like my rose will do a better job than most first night guys, right? We don't know each other, we don't know each other's bodies. Like, is it really gonna be worth it? And waking up and like feeling regret, like it's just not enticing, I think. But no shade to to people that do it if if you're going into it like and that's what you want, something casual, as long as you're on the same page, I think it's acceptable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:34

In one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_01 38:36

I think I bring I am the table. I I bring everything to the table. I hate that question, right? Like, what do you bring to the table? I think like I live such a great life on my own, and and I'm happy and I feel like I bring all the qualities that I'm seeking in a man. And so um, yeah, I I would love to, you know, meet someone that that fulfills me and and kind of brings that same thing.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why?

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Ooh, spicy. Um maybe missionary, maybe basic, but uh it's just so intimate. I love eye contact and like just hugging, you know, like making love for

Sponsor Thanks And Goodbye

SPEAKER_01 39:21

sure.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Thank you so much for joining us here at the meat market, and thank you so much, Ollie, and thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.