OnlyFans Manager Wants to Be a Housewife, Would You Wife Her Up?

Phoenix Vs Vegas Dating Culture

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So, Charlize, you are new to Phoenix.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

How do you find dating here? Oh, oh, I thought that Vegas dating was awful, and it's so much worse. It's worse than Vegas? It's to a different extent. So in Vegas, at least you typically know what you're getting, and people are very upfront there. Here you have a lot of people who pretend like they want something more than what it is. Um, Vegas, whereas everyone is already in a party industry, everyone's already in certain things, and you just kind of know what it is, and either people make it very clear when they want something serious, or you just know, just expect the worst, get the best sometimes. I don't know how to what did you do in Vegas? Um, so I had a salon space, and then I also have a social media and only fans marketing and management company. Oh, nice. So same things I kind of do here. Um, but I mostly just work from my phone.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

So question. So you have an OnlyFans marketing managing company. So do you have people that respond for the girl? So it's not really the girls responding.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

So it's typically not. So actually, so for a little bit I had someone else working with me. Now I've just been doing it myself. Um, just I have the time. And I respond for a lot of my girls and like some of like the couples that I have on there and some of the guys. And most of the time, with most people who are on OnlyFans, you're not talking to them.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

That's crazy. I wonder if these men know that. At least you're a woman and they're talking to a woman, but you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Oh, yeah. There's definitely been times where I know males who manage accounts and they definitely are talking to a man.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

That's I feel like it's a tale as old as time, though, because it's like the guy who thinks that the stripper is really in love with him, in love with them. It's like that's the same guy that thinks that he's really talking to the Obi-Fell. That's true. You know what I mean? And that's what she wants. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

And you know, if it makes him feel special and makes him happy, then who cares who he's talking about, makes him open his wallet.

unknown 1:53

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

That's it. That's like, here you go. And like for the women, a lot of people like they don't care. What difference is it gonna make? I'm still getting paid, you're still gonna pay me. And at the end of the day, you're still getting their content, you're still seeing them, you're just not talking to them. Yeah. And so I always tell people too if you really want to know if you're talking to them, pay for a video call session. That's then you know you're talking to them, you're still paying them, like, and you're gonna pay them a lot more than you would if you were just messaging with them, but at least then you know. And obviously, like for me,

Inside OnlyFans Management And Messaging

SPEAKER_01 2:25

I'd get paid more if they spend more. So please.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Please.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

So, what is the rate for so you're an OnlyFans model and you pay someone? Is it a percentage or a flat fee? So it's typically gonna be a percentage.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

So the way that I do it for me is I typically do a setup fee because I have to go through, I have to figure out exactly who you are, what type of content you do. I have to set up your entire page. Um, and then I charge after that. It's gonna be typically a percentage-wise, and that can range. It really just depends um on the company. It depends on who it is. Some people, it's you know, some people only charge 17%, some people go all the way up to 60% profit. Yeah. Um, I don't think I for me, I think that that takes it a little too far. I'm like, you're not, you're not posting your body online. How did you get into that? Were you an OnlyFans creator? No. Um it's it was actually funny. So my best friend has a boudoir company um and we had a location in Vegas. And so while we were there, we would just get a lot of the girls in Vegas who were already in the porn industry or they were in, you know, the brothel industry. We had a lot of girls come in from Perump who were in the brothels.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

And was it boudoir photography or couldn't have like photography? Okay, photography. Okay, okay. So you would get girls that would come in and want their photos done. So we would do their photos. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

And then we ended up starting to where we were literally um, we were literally basically creating porn half the time um at that point. And as crazy as it sounds, yeah, it's a slippery slope. Um, I'm not a shy person in general. I'm also can talk about anything. And one of the girls was just like, you always know what to say when I ask you questions about this or about that. She's like, just try it, just try it, just try it. And so I started talking for one of the girls and realized I was really good at it. So then started, you know, working with her, um, working for her as well. She had a company. She ended up starting her own company. I worked for her for a little bit, and then it just became a thing of like people were like, no, I want you to do it. I don't want to go through another company, I want you to do it. Then started doing it myself.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

And I feel like that is probably the most time-consuming part of doing OnlyFans, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Is the chatting to people and responding and or filtering out the ref side of like what's legit and what's what's not. Kind of.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

I feel like to an extent it is, but in reality, I half the time you would never know I'm working. Like my everyone thinks my life is this peachy keen. I'm always traveling, I'm always doing this, I'm always having a great time, which I am. But I'll sometimes be sitting and I'll be on a plane or I'll be at the airport, and I take five minutes of my day, send a couple messages, or I'll schedule posts. I'll schedule posts for a couple days so I don't have to think about it. And other than that, I'll just go and check the messages. But it's not, it's not as time consuming as everyone thinks it is. It's pretty easy if

Wild Requests Platform Rules And Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 5:16

you know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

What is the craziest request you've seen?

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Oh man. Um people are into some really strange things. I don't ever really kink shame people, but one thing I can't get behind is uh like most bodily fluids. Oh yeah, I can't get behind that. And like on OnlyFans, OnlyFans has actually gone down a lot. You, for one, people aren't making the money that they claim they are for the most part. Um and it's just they have a lot of rules. So there's a lot of things you can't do on OnlyFans. So everyone thinks, like, oh, everything goes, you can do whatever, you can do this, you can do that. You can't. So when you hear some of these things and you hear some of these requests, even if the girl was willing to fulfill it, they can't do that. Like, what can't you do? Um, you are not allowed to have like most bodily fluids. So there's no, like you can't pee, no urine, no feces, um, no throwing up, like any of that. Like it's not allowed on OnlyFans whatsoever. They will block your account, they will remove it. Um, but that's the nastiest thing that I've ever heard. And that's how much people want that, like throw up feces. Just think of it. There's even too, like, I have a client who actually flew to Dubai, and in Dubai, they have a thing called the Dubai dumpster where the girls literally will fly out there, like they pay girls, they pay girls half a million thousands. There's been a girl who's been paid like 1.5 million, I think, to go out there, and they literally are in the middle of nowhere, and all these men just basically um pee on her, poop on her whatever it is that they want. Just disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Didn't someone die recently doing that? Yeah, there was like a news story. The girl, the girl, yeah. Some girl went and it was they were trying to figure out who they pushed up the building.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

But she didn't end up dying. Did she end up dying in the hospital? I don't remember if she ended up dying, but I know that she ended up going to the hospital. I didn't continue to watch the story.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

I just don't know solidity there.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Um who would do that? Who would agree to go to Dubai in the middle of nowhere with these men that you know nothing about? That's scary. But a lot of people do it.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

And there's a lot of women who are willing to. A lot of women are not even just women, it's men as well. Just people in general are willing to do a lot for money. Oh, it's so sad to me. And I, yeah, I can't, I can't get behind it. I just, there's certain things I think you should have your boundaries, have your rules, and stick to them. But at the same time, someone is gonna always be willing to do it. And for some people, they enjoy that.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

I wonder what the psychology behind that is, like defecating on someone. Like, why would you want to do that or have someone do that to you?

SPEAKER_01 7:45

You know, like my thought process on it is even like with the whole situation where you know we have like Diddy things like that, you have so much money, you've done so many things in your life, you've slept with everyone, you've done this, you've had all of these different experiences, and what else? What else is out there? And so at that point, you only have a few other things that are out there, and it's like, how far are you willing to go?

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Yeah, can't be me.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Yeah, it's crazy. Wouldn't be me. So crazy.

Dating With The Job And Engagement Fallout

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Do you find it difficult to date then with this being your job?

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Um, sometimes. I feel like for the most part, the first question I always get asked is, Are you on OnlyFans? And that's always like the first thing people ask me. And again, I don't care who does it. I personally don't have one. Um, not because I would be ashamed of it, not because I would be upset with it. Honestly, I think I'd probably do really well if I had one. And you know, it's definitely something I could do at any point in life. I just don't have one. Um, but that's always the first question. And then I have people like they're like, oh, so you're talking to other people, you're talking to men. No, I'm not I'm not talking to men. She's talking to men. Through me, I'm just the third party, just the middleman. Um that's really the worst part of it.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

So you said you were engaged?

SPEAKER_01 9:01

I was.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Why did that end?

SPEAKER_01 9:04

For one, um it's a mystery to all of us in reality. We everyone was shocked. His we were all shocked in reality, but it kind of started off. Um, we were great. When I say that that was like the perfect relationship, we never really thought we had great chemistry, it was always great. The day before we actually ended our engagement, he was we were laying and Betty's like, I'm so grateful for you. I love you so much. I have been praying for you, you're everything that I've ever wanted. You know, all of these things, you're the perfect person. The next day we're sitting there and he just was being weird, and I was like, Hey, what's going on? Like, I pay attention to people's, you know, activities, what they do, their responses to things, and I'm like, what's going on? He was like, I don't know. He's like, I'm just feeling unsure. What are you unsure about? Yesterday you were so short, like, what are you unsure about? And he started giving me reasons that had nothing to do with me. He was like, Well, my mom, um, I think my mom doesn't like you. Okay, you think your mom doesn't like me? Ask her. Well, she won't tell me anything. But she said stuff to other people in our family and this and that. Okay, but what does that have to do with me? And then he brought up like my family. He goes, Well, I feel like I'm not close to your family. And okay, well, my family literally has tried to hang out with you consistently, and you're always like, Oh, well, why don't you do that while I'm out of town? I'm gonna be gone for work anyways. So it was just always something, and then he also brought up um some of my exes. And I have obviously I was I was married, so I have my ex-husband who he for some reason was extremely concerned about. Um, not with this man, my ex-husband for a reason. And then there was another ex who very well known. Um, and every time he would see him on the TV or every time something would happen, he was bothered. And he brought that up. Uh, he's like, Well, I just feel like this, and I feel like I can't give you all the things that someone else could give you. And I'm like, I left this man for you. You're worried about a man who I stopped talking to to be with you. And that's who you're concerned about. I'm because he's on TV.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

If you still had contact with either of the exes, like do you still have relationships? Do you have kids with him?

SPEAKER_01 11:08

So my ex-husband, we don't have kids together. Um, but I raised his son. So his son is now 13. I was with him from the time he was two and a half. And when I say I was with him, I was his mother. Like I was with him every single day. He still to this day calls me his mom. I talk to him almost every day. And I still help my ex-husband with like work stuff. But of course, never disrespected like my relationship or anything like that. There's that couldn't be the reason.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

So you said see him on the TV. Was he famous? Is he famous?

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Um, so my ex-husband fights for UFC and the other party is famous.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Um, other party, your ex-boyfriend.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, their ex- Yeah, the ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend, he was more worried about the ex-boyfriend than the ex-husband, it seemed like, which honestly a shocker. I'd be more worried about my ex-husband if anything. If I was someone else, I'd my ex-husband for sure, I'd be more worried about that one. So he was jealous. So you think that kind of I think that was just, I think he was just really insecure. And I think that he was getting scared of everything. I think he was getting scared of like the fact of commitment and everything else. And maybe he just felt he wasn't good enough. Like he would bring up financial things, he'd be like, I feel like I can't do this, I feel like I can't do that. I'm like, I don't ask you to do any of that. Everything that you've done for me financially, like I've never asked you once, and I tell you consistently, like, stop doing this. Hey, we have this to worry about, or hey, we need to think about this instead. So it's you can't tell me that it's because of money. And if money was the case, I would have stayed with I would have stayed with the ex for sure. I would have let that man do anything if I cared about the money more than anything. But that was not the case.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Do you think that he was insecure about your job also? Like when he says your he says his mom.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

No, his mom, his mom, I don't even think realized what I actually did. Like we just talked about social media management. Um, I don't think that was the case. And even too, like his mom, when at one point when she they saw my Instagram or whatever, one person felt some kind of way about my Instagram because I obviously have a lot of like boudoir photos on there. I worked with lingerie companies again. My best friend, one of the best photographers. I was a model. There were comments from other people in their family about my Instagram, but quickly everyone was like, didn't care. And his mom actually, I guess stood up for that at one point. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

How long ago was that relationship? We ended it, I think like six months ago. Okay, so fresh. Have you dated since?

SPEAKER_01 13:19

I've been dating, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

I got out there. I'm very much a are you on the apps? I got on Hinge, and that was the only one that I got on. Um, I don't know. I'm very much like I love dating in real life. I love meeting people in real life. I love the interactions of real life. But the apps have been kind of fun just to kind of do it. But I notice for me, I'm probably the worst one on the app. I will just stop responding.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Have you met anybody? Have you had any dates?

SPEAKER_01 13:46

I've been on a couple dates. Yeah, I've been on a few of them. Um, for the most part, good. I had one insane date recently. And outside of that one, like the dates that I have been on have all been really good. I typically can I feel like I can weed them out before I go on a date with them. Like I make sure that our values and everything align. And yeah. So what was the insane date?

The Jealous First Date That Would Not End

SPEAKER_01 14:09

So we had gone to dinner. Um, first that was the first thing we did. We went to dinner. After dinner, we were like, okay, well, let's end up going out. It was a Friday or Saturday. I don't know, it was Friday or Saturday, it was a weekend. And I was like, yeah, like I don't have any plans. Like, let's go do something. Like, that's fine. So we were like, okay, well, let's go back. He lived really close. So we went, we had a couple shots, and then we ended up going out. So we ended up going um to one spot in downtown Phoenix, and then after that, we ended up going to Scottsdale. So we get to Scottsdale, and the place that we got to was Problems, which I know head of security there. I know a couple of the people who work there. I've met them recently. We were just there, we were, you know, hanging out. Head of security, I'm not gonna say that he doesn't flirt with me. But he definitely was not disrespecting this man. He wasn't disrespecting me. He was being just very just normal, nonchalant. Hey, how are you? Would come and like make sure we were good, like things like that. But it was never anything that would make this man think that I'm seen by this person. And I'm just sitting there dancing, and then my best friend was texting me because she has been going through a lot, like in her dating life. And I was like, Oh, you know, it's okay, like I'm texting her back. And he goes, if you want to be somewhere else, or if you want to go be with him, you can go do that. And I was like, huh? I was so confused. I was like, What? He's like, You just seem like you're just somewhere else. I picked up my phone for two seconds, three times. I'm like, what are you talking about? I've been sitting here chatting with you, laughing, we've been like dancing, like everything. I was like, okay, cool. And I was like, Yeah, if I wanted to be somewhere else, like believe me, I'm very good at leaving. Like I love being other places when I want to be there. Like I'll go where I want. And I was like, So it's fine. I was like, but I really don't appreciate you even insinuating like any of this. Like if I didn't want to be here with you or if I didn't want to sit here with you, I would leave. And so then he was like, okay, okay, you know, and left it alone for a second, two seconds later. Does it again, but this time he's like, he's like, well, you know, these people just keep talking to you and you keep responding this and that. If someone says, excuse me to me, I'm going to respond. I'm like, oh no, you're fine. And I'm also just a very talkative, like funny person. So if someone stops and is talking to me because of where we're sitting, like the bars right there, and then you have like where they walk in. If people are speaking to me, I'm not, I'm not gonna be rude. I'm not gonna disrespect anyone, I'm not gonna be rude, I'm gonna respond. And I guess he just didn't like that. And so I decided, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing this. We're not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Also, is the place that you are having drinks, is it like a club? It's like a club setting. So you know what you're getting into when you go to a club on a first date, sir. Like we just had dinner too.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

So it's like we went to dinner after dinner. Now all of a sudden, we're, you know, you wanted to continue to go out. I was like, Why can't we go home? We can go out, it doesn't matter. Why did we go here?

SPEAKER_03 16:50

That's the thing is if you wanted an intimate little nightcap where you could just get to know one another, he should have taken you to a lounge or a speakeasy or somewhere that is like or little to mint tables or a pub or some sort of like little hole in the wall divy situation. Taking you to a club, you're really asking. He's he asked for exactly what he got.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

We're gonna have fun. Enjoy your time. I'm not going out and not enjoying my time. That's not who I am. Even, even, you know, you can even any of my exes, you can ask everyone. I am someone, I will go, I will dance, I will talk to random people. I will never disrespect whoever I'm with, but I also will go have a blast.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Like I think it's a club setting, though. It's like he took you to that setting and expected you to behave in a way that was You want me to be a wallflower in a game?

SPEAKER_00 17:38

I I've dated guys that they're so controlling that you have to change who you are. And like I'm the same. If someone asks you a question, I'm I will respond because that's the polite thing to do. I hate it when you're with a guy where you feel like you're always on an edge. I can't do anything, I can't say, I can't look anywhere. He's gonna yell at me if I look towards the direction of another guy.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

It's not healthy. No, and I've had that. My ex-husband was so controlling with so many different things, and like I wouldn't, I'm never going back to that. You will never get me to go back to a man who does it. And it just so I ended up just getting up and leaving him. Like I got up and I walked over to where the security guard was, and I went and I'm standing there talking to him, and of course, he was just like feeling some kind of way. Security guard, they were like, here's an here's a new table for you. Come sit right here. Then a bunch of random, like older men like come over. They're like standing there. Because where I was standing, it's like they have like a balcony and I was looking over, I was people watching once because the problem is the only thing that's open until four. They stopped serving drinks and stuff, but it's the only thing till that's open till four. So you see all of these drunk people rush to get in line. And so I'm watching everybody. I'm sitting there, I'm talking to the people around me, not in any romantic way with anybody, but just enjoying the space, enjoying my time there, whatever. Um, and I had made it clear, and then he starts calling me, blowing me up. He's like, just come talk to me, do this. And I was like, there's nothing to talk about.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

I'm like Was he still in the spot?

SPEAKER_01 18:50

He was still in the in the spot, would not like it, but then mind you. He then is like getting people's numbers, talking to them, everything. I don't care. And like he's doing it purposely, like trying to make sure I see like there was a girl who ended up coming close to where we were, and he made sure to say it loud enough, like, oh, you're so gorgeous, like all of this. And like one of the guys who was next to me is like giggling about it, and I'm not paying any attention because I don't care. This is our first day. I have no care, nothing in the world. Like I have no desire. And so then he keeps coming up to me and like tapping me, and I'm like, hey, can you like just leave me alone? Like, I am not looking to continue to see, I'm not looking to talk to you, like leave me alone. Like that was it. I was very respectful about it. And then he just kept coming back. Kept coming back. Wow. And then he started talking to the guy who was next to me, telling him, like, oh, you know, just be careful because of this and you know, this. And he's like, What are you talking about? And this is an older man. He's like, he's like, man, she keeps telling you to leave her alone, just leave her alone. Why do you keep coming over here? He's like, and now you're bothering me. And he would not stop. And then finally, I was like, listen, I was and I told him, like, he came and touched me again. And I was like, if you touch me again, I'm going to hit you. I was like, I'm not a violent person, I'm not this, but I've asked you for the last 30 minutes. I said, Security has come over here and told you either A, you need to leave me alone or you're getting kicked out. I was like, and you've had all of these other people tell you, stop talking to me. And you still keep going. So then he ends up going and stands next to the other guy. The other guy had a younger guy who was with him. They start fighting and like arguing, like not physically. He's like, hey, if you don't leave her alone, if you don't leave him alone, like stop talking to my people, like I'm gonna throw you over the balcony. And he kept going. Did so the next day, did he apologize? Was he just drunk? No, he wouldn't stop. He stopped, he would not stop like calling me, blowing me up. He even created a second phone number, like a fake phone number, to keep contact, like trying to contact me. Even after security literally made him leave, they took him downstairs, they walked him out, he would not leave. He was standing there and he would get people's numbers and stare up at the balcony at me. And like we're all just like, what are you doing? And then my phone, I started getting this random call from a random number and random text messages, like all of this. And I'm like, I already blocked this number. Like, I'll block it again. I blocked it.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Another phone number pops. Oh my god, that's psycho.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

And then he wouldn't leave. He sat there and would not leave whatsoever. And then he finally got into an Uber and left. Um, and I was like, okay, like cool, I can leave whenever, like now. Um, but I just had a great time. I still had a great time. I was sitting there like talking to people, laughing, having a ball, but he would not leave. And then he called me the next day, texted me the next day. I didn't answer. He's like, just let me know we were drinking, so let me know you made it home safe at the least. Oh God.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

How old was he? Do you remember? No. How old are you?

SPEAKER_01 21:27

I'm 31. Okay. I think he was like, I think he was like 29 or 28 or something.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

Because that seems like very juvenile behavior. It does. It seems like very young behavior. Also, looking back on it now, because you say you normally can sort of like tell if someone's a good person before you get to the first date. Looking back, hindsight is 2020, right? What do you feel like you missed? Do you feel like you missed anything?

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Or do you feel like he just I think it's I think it's him drinking.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Just alcohol. I think it's him drinking alcohol.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

I think it was the alcohol, and I think, you know, whatever insecurities he has within himself is I think we're just coming out. And again, I'm I'm a very firm believer. Stop dating attractive women if you're insecure. Oh yes, 100%. Because it it's just gonna it's not gonna end well for you. And I'm very big, like I will tell people like if you're insecure, do not date me. Because I'm gonna talk to people, I'm gonna do this. Again, I will never disrespect my partners, I will never disrespect people. But at the same time, people are going to try me. So just take your pick.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

And that's the thing. If you're an attractive person, you're gonna have people wanting to converse with you. And you've got to you've gotta respond if people ask you a question unless you're a bitch, you know, you can't just ignore them and like, you know. So you have to be secure, I feel, to date someone that's attractive, that's gonna get attention.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

I think it's and it's the same thing that goes for women, but women do it too, and then they get mad, like you keep talking to this girl, and this girl's this. Sometimes it's innocent too. Like I've had conversations with people who are just literally like we're all in the same thing. I was sitting there by myself. I'm talking to these guys because we're all standing there, we're all just enjoying laughing at people doing this. Like sometimes it's very innocent. And of course, I do think that we do have those moments where people, if they're attracted to you, obviously you're gonna think, Oh, I can just be friends with this person or this. Probably want something more, but that's your decision of how far you decide to let it go. Like, but again, that's your boundary. Find your boundaries and go with them.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Are you ready for

Listener Question Phone Use And Female Besties

SPEAKER_00 23:22

it?

SPEAKER_03 23:22

I'm ready for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet. We help you keep more in your relationship. So we have a listener question.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:32

All right. I went on a first date with this guy and he couldn't get through the date without texting with his best friend. So this guy slid into my DMs and mentioned that he's newly dating. I'm also newly dating, so we had that in common. We chatted a few days and decided to meet for a drink. Everything was going pretty well, but I noticed that he seemed a little distracted by his phone. I mentioned that he could step out and take a call if he needed, and he said, no worries, it's just my bestie checking in to see how the date is going. Maybe it's just me, but this gave me the ick that he couldn't get through a casual first date without texting his best friend, who I will also mention is a female. He says there's nothing to worry about because she's married, but there was something about the whole thing that made me uneasy. Am I being too picky with my ickys, or is this something you'd all be wary of as well?

SPEAKER_00 24:22

It would annoy me if you're texting on the first date and it's a female, and like you just said, can men and women be just friends? I feel like there's always one party that's interested. I don't know. I I think it's a little disrespectful.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

I think it's taking it for sure a little too far. And especially too, like if you cannot, like if she wants to know how the date's going, wait till after I'm done. Right? Cool on the way home when you're alone. When you're alone, like, do it. I think like I I have a male friend. I know that my male friends want to sleep with me. I'm very aware of that. And they won't hide it, they won't lie about it either. But at the same time, I'm not gonna be sitting there like texting them the whole time. I'm not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

That's the yeah, that would give me the ick. I'd be I'd be done. I would be like, why are we doing this?

SPEAKER_01 25:02

I'd be like, okay, go on a date with her. Go hang out with her instead. Have her be your first date. Or why just invite her? Come on. Come on, best friend. And her and her husband. And her husband. Yeah, and her husband. It makes me wonder what her husband thinks of their relationship too.

SPEAKER_03 25:16

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Like, is it does he feel any kind of way about it? Does he even know how much of best friends they are? Yeah. Of the fact that they can't even get through this without it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You never know. It's true.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

And it makes you think like if you do start dating him and you get into a fight, he's gonna go run run off to his female best friend.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

You're dating both of them. Well, you're dating really all three of them then at that point, because she's telling her husband everything, also, I'm sure. Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

But it depends on her relationship with her husband. What if if her relationship is so is rocky and maybe she's a person who's just there for the fact oh, financially we're good or financially, you know, we've been together for so long, I don't want to leave him. How long has that been your bestie as well?

SPEAKER_02 25:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Like I understand the people who've grew up with their best friend, like all went to school together, they did this, they've been friends for years. But if it wasn't, if that's not the case, or what like what's the stuff?

SPEAKER_03 26:08

Yeah, if it's not like the childhood best friend or like the family friend, the cousin, or whatever it is. Basically your family, your sister, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Yes, yeah. What is their what's their relationship?

SPEAKER_03 26:18

Yeah, yeah, that'd be red flags for me for sure.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

So you said you had a podcast. What

Relationship Values Poly Talk And Partner Traits

SPEAKER_00 26:23

was the topic? Like, what did you chat about?

SPEAKER_01 26:25

I we chatted about a lot of different stuff. I would um do things with a lot of like artists um and with athletes, with just regular people. A lot of I had porn stars on there, I had OnlyFans Girls on there, I had moms on there, I had bartenders on there. Um, it was called Charlisse Will Figure It Out. And so we would just do random things. Sometimes I would do activities to try and figure random things out or figure out can I do this or can I do that after like chatting with people?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

And then just be a little bit of everything. So you've met a lot of celebrities, famous people, athletes.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Have you met any ones that stand out that are either super douchey or super nice or I haven't met a good number of great people and a good number of not so great people, um for sure. I would say you have more recently one of them, like Neo and his three wives, amazing. They're all super sweet, great people, very humble. Like it sounds so crazy because everyone always wants to judge them for their lifestyle, things like that. But great, great people. He's a great person, super kind, doesn't want to have to like worry about like the outside world, but at the same time, like just knows like, hey, this is my life, whatever it is, but super humble. Could you ever do that? The ethical non-monogamy or the poly lifestyle. My problem is, is I would need to be the center of everyone's world.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

So you'd have to be the favorite. Yeah. You'd have to be the Brie, what's her name of um Nick Cannon's baby mamas? Oh, yeah. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

I would need I would need my wives, everyone, to be obsessed with me. My husband and my wives would have to be obsessed with me. If they were not all obsessed with me, then they have to leave. Are you a Leo? No, I'm an Aries. Aries. No, no. So funny. Pretty close. No, Leos are the same way too. They are. But I definitely I I would probably be able to do it if it came down to the fact, like if I was the center of everyone's world.

SPEAKER_03 28:15

And what are you looking for exactly in a partner? Do you want someone who's a public figure?

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Do you feel like I don't care necessarily what they are. I think I've just typically I've dated a lot of athletes or celebrities just because that's what I've been around. Um so I feel like I tend to kind of do that. But I don't think that's it. For me, I'm very much a person. This is a very controversial topic for a lot of people, but I believe there's a woman's place and a man's place. I don't mean that for every woman. I don't mean that for every man. But for me, I feel like I am made to be a wife. I'm made to be like someone's mother. I'm made to focus on cooking, cleaning, taking care of my household, doing those things, and I love that. I don't think that's for everyone. And I love the women who are doing it on themselves, those independent women, I love that. It's just not for me. And so I look for like my husband. And if someone doesn't have those same values where again, woman's place, man's place thing for me.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

I don't know you want to be a trad wife ultimately, stay at home and take care of the house. Yeah. Do you want kids? I do.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Yeah, I do. So why didn't that work out with your ex-husband?

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Um, so for one, I was pregnant at one point, and um, I ended up losing the pregnancy and finding out that I had a cancerous mass all at the same time. And um almost died in that entire situation, and not without having to go into too many details of that, but I ended up obviously losing the babies. I was super excited, we were super happy, and um we tried after that for a long time. For some reason, it just didn't happen. I they removed the mask, the cancer was gone, but for some reason I still couldn't get pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Was it a molar pregnancy? Is that what they called it?

SPEAKER_01 29:56

It was an ectopic. So it was an ovarian, it was an ovarian ectopic, yeah. And so just tried for a long time. We started the IVF process, and my ex-husband actually got someone else pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

What?

SPEAKER_00 30:08

What that's crazy. How hurtful would that be?

SPEAKER_01 30:12

I was it was terrible. And the girl was like, he was trying to get me pregnant, like all this stuff. And even after the fact, like I tried to stay with my ex-husband after that. I, in reality, during the time I was with my ex-husband, I hated myself. I just felt like I couldn't do the one thing that like most what like women are supposed to do, and I hated myself for that. I struggled a lot and I stayed with him, and I also just I loved him, and I also knew that he was a very toxic person in that sense. And um, we have a great relationship now. That's one thing I will say. Him and I have a great relationship now. During that time, he just wasn't a good partner whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

So he got someone else pregnant and he wanted to stay with you and make it work.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

So at first, when I first found out about it, um, he was mad about it. She ended up sending me a message. I ended up going, so we were living in Texas still. I ended up going to Vegas because I was gonna go and like work for a little bit because I still had salon clients there. I was gonna go work, see some family, whatever. And when I left, all of a sudden he's like, he's like, um, he's like, you don't have to worry about coming back, like I'll pack your stuff for you this and that. And I was like, okay, I was like, what's going on? He's like, I just don't think we're gonna work anymore and all of this. The next day I ended up getting a message on Instagram from a girl and she goes, Um, I'm sure that you already know about me, but I'm having Kevin's baby.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

And like all of this stuff. And I was like, actually, I had no idea. She's like, Well, I found out about you because Cam was talking about you. Oh, so you in this whole time you've been how you've been sleeping with the girl that you've been telling Cam is just here to watch you and like help out. Cool. Cool, great. And then after that, he had told me at one point, he's like, I wanted you to fight and say that I was gonna never let you go, like all of this. That's what you wanted me to do. And we did, like, I'm not gonna lie, we did try again after that, like after the baby was born, like we tried again for a little bit. Um and I just quickly realized, like, this is just not doing it. So is he with her now? No. They were they even when after the baby, like they did not get together. They did not get back together. The girl, she wanted him, like you, and like she claimed she didn't know, but then her and I had a conversation at one point when him and I were trying, she admitted that she knew about me. So you knew that the man was with me. You knew all of these things, and you still chose to continue to sleep with him. And supposedly, like you guys were trying for a baby, whatever it is, and you decided you wanted to keep it. That was your decision. I'm very much pro-choice, like it, but at the same time, it's all there. And I did at one point, I said, I truly wish she would have just got an abortion. And I that was terrible. When I said it, I look back on it and I'm like, oh, that's so mean. And I love the kid now. His son, beautiful boy. I have spent plenty of time with him. When I go see my son, I see him and everything else too. Beautiful child. Like, I think that he needed that innocence, but obviously, like it was painful for me during that time.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

And that's the grimiest. Grimiest. Like the that's the worst. Knowing what you're doing. That's crazy. But do you feel like though, do you feel like you and your ex-husband could be right? Like, do you feel like it was like right person, wrong time?

SPEAKER_01 33:08

Um, I used to think that my ex-husband is everything I wanted him to be. Everything I begged him to be, he is now.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

Um, and it's just, I think it's just too late for me personally. Is he seeing someone now? No. So, but you could never go back. I just think it's too late. I think that I asked you to be something and I begged you for so long, and I allowed so many different things, and you couldn't even give me the basic respect. And now he's getting older, and you know, all these things are happening, and you're now here. And when I got with my ex-husband, he wasn't in the UFC yet. It was not there. You got you started getting money, the fame, everything else, and you were more worried about everything except for your home. And I say that in the nicest way. Like, he's great, he's a great father now, like is there, but during the time I was there, I was the one taking care of everything from him our the son that my son, who I always say is my son, his mom, his brother, his family, my family, like was doing everything for everyone. And other than financially, and half the time with that, I he would be like, Here's this, and then he'd be like, I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Does he try to get back with you now? Does he just yeah?

SPEAKER_01 34:11

Yeah, he would he would love that.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

That's hard. That's so hard, especially if he has a good heart.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

He's an amazing person, just not he wasn't a good partner to me.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

So at that point, it's like you have to do what's best for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

I and I've thought it. There's been times where I think about it. I think that like we have so many great qualities and stuff. I just know that I don't think that I would be happy. Even when I go and visit and I have to see him and deal with him, and I have to hear certain things. I'm like, if I had to deal with this every day.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

So, what would your perfect partner look like?

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Someone who I feel like is caring, attentive, kind. I think being kind is like a huge thing for me. I need you to be respectful to people, especially people in the outside world. Like you don't need to be rude to people or you don't need to treat people, mistreat people just because you feel like you can. Um, someone who is again has that traditional value where it's like, hey, I want someone who's gonna take care of my home. I want this. And someone who I have to be attracted to them is for sure a thing. Physically watch a type. Physically, I the funny thing is is if I showed you pictures of all of my exes, none of them look the same.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

And um, in reality, there was definitely one who I look back now and I'm like, I don't even know why I was attracted to this person. Not attractive at all.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

That's so funny. I've said the same thing not attractive at all. And no one says as well. Like just like what was I thinking?

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Yeah. Um my it's funny, like I hate talking like shit, but like even like my ex-fiance, my friends, everyone were like, Why are you with this man? Like you're too hot for this man, and the ex before that, they were definitely all like what it says. Um, but it is what it is. I feel like but it physically I mix and match it, but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

So I saw this another dating rule. What's up with all these dating rules? Why can't you just date it? So are you on a date? Have you heard of the three three three three three three dating rule? I feel like I have. So and is it actually a good idea? So the idea is that you reassess how a connection feels after three dates, three weeks, and three months. Yeah. Like, isn't that seems so transactional? Let's sit down for a discussion. It's been three days. But is that what it means? Is that what it means? Like you schedule a time to sit down and reassess how a connection feels after three dates. Okay, we've had three dates. Let's sit down and discuss, then three weeks and then three months.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Do you reassess it together or do you know, or do you just think about it?

SPEAKER_03 36:36

Oh, like I take it as like I just think after three days, I just think about it. Oh, maybe. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

I don't want to put a time limit on it. I'm gonna reassess every time I see you. I same because you might today might be a day where I just might be like, oh, you just you just ew. I don't want to see you ever again.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

I'm the same way. Yeah. I'm gonna reassess every time. Every single time.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

So there are these questions that come along with it. So can attraction grow over time, do you think, or is chemistry either there or not? I'm I'm told because I've dated guys where initially I'm like, there's no way I could ever be attracted to.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

And then later you just look at them and you're like, oh, I just love it.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

And then you can grow. I think attraction can grow, but I don't think I think attraction can grow, but I think chemistry has to be there is natural. I don't think chemistry can grow necessarily, but I think that attractions can be. No, because that doesn't necessarily mean that there's no chem that doesn't mean that no chemistry means that there's no chemistry. Bad sex just might mean that he needs that.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

I mean it either has to be technique or it's just not gonna work for you. It may just not be on the same path.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Yeah. How many dates do you think you should give someone before deciding this bargain? It's not gonna work one more.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

If the first date is terrible, I'm not going out with you again.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

But they do say that you should give it at least three dates because it can grow.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

No, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

No, thank you for three days. I I'm not wasting my time or his. Yeah. I'm not wasting anybody's time. Do you think people are too quick to reject potential partners? I think they are. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 38:11

Some people don't know about myself. Same. Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

See, maybe if you were to give it a little more time or um, can a checklist help you date intentionally, or does it make dating feel like a performance? Performance. Yeah. I think so too.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

I don't want to give and I don't want to give anyone a checklist because if you give someone a checklist, they'll make sure that they check all those boxes, even if it's not who they are.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Oh, that's true, actually. It is true. And you just set yourself up for disappointment, right? Because you know you know that there's no way one person isn't gonna check every single one of your boxes. Like there's just no way. And so it's like when you have this list of unrealistic expectations, you're just yeah, you're setting yourself up for disappointment, I feel.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Yeah, yeah. Now

Celebrity Age Gaps And Attraction Debates

SPEAKER_00 38:55

it's time for the celebrity cut where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities. So I was shocked by this. I love Patrick Bempsey, he's always been one of my favorites, you know, Patrick Bempsy, right? Did you know that he, when he was 18, he was dating a 44-year-old, his acting coach? Did you hear this story? I didn't hear that. So he was 18, she was 44, they have a 26-year-old age gap, and then he married her when he was 21, she was 47. And then it came out they were married for seven years. That's like me freaking dating a 21-year-old, a 19-year-old. That's that's a child, that's crazy. But it came out that he has said that he needed a mother figure at that time. Ew!

SPEAKER_03 39:34

That's gross.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

So you marry this woman because you need a mother figure, but you're having sex with her.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Uh but think about it. How many child stars do we see that are dating grown adults their entire baby?

SPEAKER_04 39:49

You're getting basically getting groomed.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

It's very common. Even if you look back, like Justin Bieber, they've already said, like, he was young. How many people were trying to talk to him? Grown, you look back, even grown adults, even now, some of these young stars, grown women, and even for the females, grown men, are still attracted to this person.

SPEAKER_00 40:07

Like it's it is weird to me. Like Dane Cook, he was in his 50s and his girlfriend was 18. Like, that's isn't that kind of it's too much of an age. There gets to be a point where that's a good idea. Like on both sides, like for him, like she could be your child. How is that attractive? And for her, like he could like you know, I that I don't get like Anthony Kitas is the same.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

He I've definitely dated older men for sure. Like, what's the biggest age difference, though? Um I what was the biggest age difference? How old was I when I started dating? He was what 53? I was this was when I was like two years ago, I guess. Like 20 age gap, I guess. 20 years. And I think if you're but I'm also an adult.

SPEAKER_03 40:49

I was also at that point, I was yes, I was already in my 20s. The only thing is like so I've that the age for me is hard because I'm like, if you have to take a pill to get it up, and when you hit mid-50s, you're getting about there. And that's hard for me. I don't know. So I don't know that I can do I don't know that I can do that old that I think for one, my biggest my thought process on it is when it comes to younger.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

If I can't take you to a bar, you should not be dating them. If you're legally able to go to a bar and it's not like you guys met when you guys were both, you know, 18 and you were 20, and then you still were talking to each other, whatever. But I'm talking the people who are dating someone who can't even go to a bar, she's not even 21, or he's not even 21, and you go to a you can go to the club, the bar. You can't even send him to go get you a bottle of wine for dinner.

unknown 41:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

And you think that you should be dating them?

SPEAKER_02 41:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

I think that's crazy. But like age gap-wise, I would date I would date older men. I like older men. Lately, I feel like I've been dating younger men too, and I said I would never do that. And it's been kind of fun. You like it? It's been kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

I don't get like Madonna. She dates way younger men. And I don't know how I'd feel about that. Like even dating like a 20. Can you date a 21-year-old how? I couldn't do 21-year-old.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

But it's Madonna. She, okay. She have you seen what she looks like? Like she's had some not great work done. And so it's like, are these young men really into her or are they just with her because she's Madonna?

SPEAKER_01 42:25

But it's not even that. Just think about it. How many of these women, like especially nowadays, everyone is getting a bunch of work done? Some of these women, and I see these men, and they're like, oh, she's just she's so bad, she's so this. She looks like a literal blow-up doll. And I'm not just talking like just because like her of her BBL, any of that. No, it's just the shape of it, the misportion of it, the face, like you're doing so much to your face, to your body. Why? Like and that's the most attractive thing. And a lot of people like that. That's a I think a fetish for people.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Now it's time

Rapid Fire Deal Breakers Manifesting And Closing

SPEAKER_00 42:59

to get to know you. It's a you're sponsored by Zoe, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions. Is it a deal breaker if a guy makes you split the bill? Yes. Uh if he's friends with his ex. No. You could be you could date someone that was best friends with his ex.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

It would depend on the stance of like where they are, but I wouldn't say that like I would that would be a deal breaker. It would depend on like what the relationship was. Because I feel like there's times like again, my ex-husband and I still have conversations, like we're friends, everything else. And I I definitely have other exes who are like friends to me. But it's all about the boundaries and like what it is and what the thing is.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

What if they have no social media? Oh, I love that. What if they don't tip? That's not that's it's so disrespectful now. And what if they're rude to the staff member? Nope. Go away. Do you have a secret talent that not many people are aware of, or something you're good at, or a fact that not many people know? I don't you can cook. I can cook everyone knows that.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Yeah. I post about food every day. I'm always posting about food. A random talent that I have. Um, I can put both of my legs behind my head. And I will sometimes just sit on the couch and watch TV like that, and I think it's so comfortable. Yeah, it's weird. I don't, it's just you just sit there watching TV. I feel so vulnerable. Sometimes all my doors are locked.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

Doors locked, windows locked.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

If I if I drink, if I drink enough, I'll be like, oh guys, look what I can do. Only with my friends though, typically. Like it's funny. Has to be like a fun setting. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

I saw a post so you manifest your husband or you do things that didn't I see a post where you're manifesting your husband or something?

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Oh, I was posting, I was like, I think I posted, I was like, um, I was like just manifesting that this will be my life every day, which it already is my life. I just want to do it with a husband. So I was literally outside doing yoga by the pool and on a Thursday, just a random Thursday. That's typically my life already. But no, I want that. I want to be able to like go, I'll wake up, I'll feed my husband, you know, he can go off to work. I'm gonna go do Pilates or something, I'll make sure the house is clean by the time he comes home. He'll have dinner ready, I'll go lay out by the pool, you know, and then make sure he's fed nice and gets home.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why?

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Oh what is it? I feel like it changes with each person. I feel like some people it's one thing and others it's another.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

That's actually we've never had anyone say that, but it's actually true. Yeah, different people different things.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

Yeah, that is just it's different. I think it changes. I think, like all in all, I love being folded in half. Fold it, what does that mean? Just to put my legs just all over the you can hold them down as hard as you want to. I'm it won't hurt.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

Thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market, and thank you so much, Charlize. If you want to snag a date with Charlize, go to any of our meat market pages at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your own wallet where it belongs, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.