THE BIG BEAUNER METHOD: HOW HE GETS GIRLS WITHOUT DMS
Your dating life might improve the second you stop treating every swipe like a job interview. Big Beauner joins us for a hilarious conversation about dating apps, first dates, and why having a personality might actually get you further than having perfect profile pics.
We talk mini golf dates, profile photo catfishing, power couples, and that awkward space between “just having fun” and “okay, so what are we?” Then things get a little messier when we get into open relationships, honesty, consent, and whether you can really call it ethical if someone else doesn’t know the full story.
Plus, there’s a sex party cruise, a celebrity wedding crowdfunding disaster, and plenty of internet chaos along the way. Basically, dating advice, questionable decisions, and a lot of opinions.
Hit play, send this to your funniest single friend, and leave us a review with your hottest dating take.
A big shoutout to our amazing sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies! You can check them out at steptax.com. Remember, we drop your drawers, and they drop the tax—making life a little smoother for everyone. Thanks for keeping us covered!
00:00 - Threes Jokes And Single Life
02:08 - The Micro Maidens Night Out
04:21 - Viral Satire And Building A Brand
06:19 - The Hinge Date Photo Reality Check
10:00 - Why Dating Feels Too Serious
11:06 - Defining A Power Couple Match
13:13 - Open Relationship Ethics And Honesty
20:14 - The Mediterranean Sex Party Cruise
23:13 - Celebrities Crowdfunding A Wedding Backlash
25:58 - Rapid Fire Red Flags And Dating Rules
30:16 - Final Plugs And Farewell
Threes Jokes And Single Life
SPEAKER_01So big boner, I love your shirt, but do you really bang threes?
SPEAKER_00I in fact do.
SPEAKER_01You do really?
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, I really do. Because when you're on a dry streak and you haven't had anything in a while, you know, some people don't like to admit it, but I will. Okay, is that sometimes you need to, you know, watch the ball go through the hoop sometimes just to get your feet wet again. You know, you don't just you don't just jump into the ocean, you gotta go in the kiddie pool. I mean, never mind, the regular just put your feet in the water. That's one of the Epstein one. My bad. My bad.
SPEAKER_01That is hilarious. Oh my gosh. So you're still single?
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Have you had any crazy dates since we last saw you?
SPEAKER_00Crazy dates, not so much. I was really trying to buy a house for a while, so I didn't like go on any dates because I didn't want to spend unnecessary money. And then I mean I just started doing uh going on dating again. So it's uh it's been quite a ride.
SPEAKER_02Did did you buy a house? Yeah, you did, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay, where about uh it's on like Dobson Ranch.
SPEAKER_01Oh nice, I like Dobson Ranch.
SPEAKER_00I had to move because like the last place I lived in, you have to suffer for a few years before you get a new place. So I was in there for like two years, and there was literally by the time I left, there was dudes that camped out like right. We're on like 16th in Osborne. So it was like, you know, I had to leave. I brought my parents in to help me move, and my mom's like, God, thank God you left. That place is so depressing.
SPEAKER_02Have you christened your new house yet?
SPEAKER_00Oh yes. Oh yes, oh yes, in many different places, the kitchen specifically.
SPEAKER_01So, where are you meeting girls nowadays?
SPEAKER_00Oh, the dating apps. Dating apps, it's like still a buffet, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you can eat buffet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So no serious dates, no serious relationships.
SPEAKER_00No, I just like having fun most of the time. And like obviously, you can tell by my shirt, I love having fun. I don't know if you guys saw, I started a uh website, bigboner.com.
SPEAKER_02I love your products, it's hilarious.
SPEAKER_00We have I have quite the catalog in there.
SPEAKER_02It is it clothing? What is it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's clothing, koozies. Okay, you name it.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I love your t-shirts, they're pretty funny.
SPEAKER_00Yes, thank you. And I do giveaways every month.
SPEAKER_02I did see something on your page involving midgets.
The Micro Maidens Night Out
SPEAKER_00Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_02Oh, little people, little women.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes. Yes, little people, dwarves, hot chicks.
SPEAKER_01Well, I want what is this post about?
SPEAKER_00It's called the uh micro maidens. It was out in Glendale. And so my cousin last year, he goes, he sent me like a picture, he goes, Hey, you should go to this. And I was like, I'm not, I missed it. I was like, I'm not missing it this year. And so I invited my buddy, who we went, and it was dude, the place was shoulder to shoulder. It was like, was it Club 44 something? I forget the name. But you go there, they do a whole show for you, they give you lap dances, and I'm like, there was it's naked midgets? I mean stripper midgets?
SPEAKER_02They show their titties every now and then, but the the video that I saw of your dance was in your face.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she could have broke my nose by sitting on there.
SPEAKER_01So wait, I'm sorry, is it's not politically correct to say midgets anymore, right? It's literally.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it depends what state you're in.
SPEAKER_02Well, and I don't I I don't think it is, but I went to um like an event, a wrestling event not that long ago, and they advertised it as midget wrestling.
SPEAKER_00They do it up near my town like every year now.
SPEAKER_01Well, it wasn't like Gilligan's, they had little people working there, and they but they advertised it as the midget bar, didn't they? Yes, yeah, yeah. Because midget isn't a bad word, is it? Is it?
SPEAKER_00I mean, who knows? You have to ask them.
SPEAKER_01I don't know, yeah. We need the we need ideas.
SPEAKER_00Like my mom gets like, because I I was I was telling my dad, I'm like, let's go. I was inviting my friends. She goes, No, you're making fun of this. I'm like, listen, they can get regular jobs, like nobody's telling them they can't, like they could do something else. Like you could.
SPEAKER_02That's true. It's true. Well, they don't have to do the what did they call it? The mini maiden. Yeah, you didn't micro maiden.
SPEAKER_00You don't have to do that job. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I know, I don't know. I feel like the people who get most upset about stuff like that are people that aren't actually um midget. So you know what I mean? Like, you're hurting their feelings quite. I'd like to hear it from them. Yeah what you know, yeah. If it I but I think little people is the I know some people like they don't give a shit.
SPEAKER_00I know other people are like it's little person.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, funny.
Viral Satire And Building A Brand
SPEAKER_01Do you do stand-up comedy?
SPEAKER_00No, I've just been so focused on making these shirts, selling them, and then my own business.
SPEAKER_01How's business doing?
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's actually very good. I don't know if you guys saw that video I posted, it went viral. No, so it had like six or seven hundred thousand views. Um, I was wearing this shirt, by the way.
SPEAKER_01And I've was the way you were slamming marriage. Was it the one where you were like, why did people get married?
SPEAKER_00You're like, I go to Costa Rica, I pay for like you know, stuff like that. Like how being single just absolutely sucks. And I'd way rather be married in a relationship.
SPEAKER_01Is that the one where some guy was like, Well, good thing you never have to worry because you'll never be married?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I'm like, No, you don't understand. I want to be married so badly. Like, I'm just begging. But uh, since that video came out, I've sold like 400 shirts.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_00Like all of them are the I bang three, so that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_01That's so funny. When you make these videos, you're not are you you're not serious, right?
SPEAKER_00I mean, what do you think?
SPEAKER_01Okay, no, because like you want them to be serious? No, but everyone thinks you're serious, and I'm like, of course he's not serious. Like, how do people think he's serious? But there are so many people that are so negative towards you just because they think you're being serious.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's just funny. I like it.
SPEAKER_02People also don't understand satire. I feel like people don't understand just like sarcasm.
SPEAKER_01I feel like most people don't have a sense of humor. So I love your videos, I think they're hilarious.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, thank you. Your kids have a PS5?
SPEAKER_01A PS5, I think my son does, yeah.
SPEAKER_00They could use another one, go buy something on bigboner.com. They could use another one, sell it. I don't give a shit.
SPEAKER_01I actually have been thinking about buying one of your t-shirts for my husband. I bang threes. Oh my god, I'm his wife.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I got a I got a koozie on there that says my girl's a squirtle.
SPEAKER_01So a squirter?
SPEAKER_00Squirtle, like the Pokemon.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_00I also have an N-word pass shirt on there where I just say, like, if celebrities own that shirt, we could have saved so many careers. You know what I'm saying? Because they just dropped that, like, it's nobody's business.
SPEAKER_01So, what was the last date
The Hinge Date Photo Reality Check
SPEAKER_01you went on?
SPEAKER_00Just yesterday, actually.
SPEAKER_01What'd you take her?
SPEAKER_00Uh to mini golf.
SPEAKER_01Oh, was it good?
SPEAKER_00And this is oh, I mean, it was. So I like to, I guess maybe my my hinge profile is more of an IQ testant, is anything. So on there, I like to make jokes all the time. It never stops. So, like when I went to go get my license renewed, I just had the lady put on their 6'9 as my height. And so it says 6'9 on my dating profile, and it has a picture of my ID with just the height there, and it's also got my Insta so people can go there and look at it.
SPEAKER_02And so she actually put that as your height. Yeah, Arizona DMV. We need to do better.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, I I got it in Patents, so we barely graduate high school there.
SPEAKER_03So that's fun.
SPEAKER_00So I did that there, and then I invite I took her to the date, and oh my, her profile pictures were like, wow, this girl's hot. And I I just want to see what happens. Because if we have a good time and you think it's funny, then we're gonna get along. If not, then I just get to be an asshole to you all the way all night, and it's gonna be a good time for me.
SPEAKER_02And so one of us is gonna have a good time. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00One of us is having fun, and so I uh I put it on there. We went, she showed up. Her pictures were like model pictures, like she looked super hot. And she showed up, and I remember I was walking to the bathroom, and I saw her walk through the door. I go, no fucking way. And she walked through, she had gained like 50 fucking pounds. I was like, no way.
SPEAKER_02Has she gained weight or did she AI her phone?
SPEAKER_00Oh no, no, no, no. Well, she worked for like a private um, it was called jet street. I think that's what it was.
SPEAKER_01The semi-private.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's like a private like CEOs and stuff like go on there, and she was and she looked really hot in those pictures, and she goes, Yeah, my friend made those and or made my profile, and I'm like, God damn it. She kept like I just try to have a good time because like I'm not gonna be a dick if you're not a dick. And so we were just talking, this and that, and she kept bringing up food, dude. And like she would be like, We were talking about uh cuisine. She goes, Yeah, I eat all kinds of cuisine. What do you eat? And I'm like, Well, I like Italian or this, and she goes, She goes, Yeah, I eat pretty much everything. I'm like, that's for damn sure. Like, fuck, like shit. Like, I was and I just in my head all the time, she kept mentioning food. I'm like, fucking hey.
SPEAKER_02Maybe she was hungry. Mini golf is a lot of work.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I took her to sushi and we kept talking about it.
SPEAKER_01That's funny. I don't get why people post pictures of a picture that does not represent who they are at this current moment. Like, I'd be mortified if I was bigger and my pictures of me when I was 50 pounds lighter. Because it's isn't that embarrassing? Yeah, super embarrassing, I feel.
SPEAKER_00I'm sure it is. I mean, me, I'm a little bit different than everybody else. Other people, because I know people have told me, like, yeah, I showed up and she was super fat, and I just said I had to go to the bathroom. And then she goes, she told him, like, why'd you leave? He goes, Well, why'd you lie? But me, if I see that, I'm gonna be like, This, I just think everything's a joke. I'd be like, This is hilarious.
SPEAKER_01So, how did the date go?
SPEAKER_00I mean, it was it was cool. I mean, we started talking.
SPEAKER_01Did she have a cool personality?
SPEAKER_00I mean, she was all right.
SPEAKER_01I mean, she no second.
SPEAKER_00I just kept looking at her in like awe, like, holy shit. Like, there's no fucking like I was trying to like, okay, she's kind of hot this way.
SPEAKER_02I was just gonna ask, like, was she still beautiful? Was her face still? Her face didn't even look the same. Her face didn't look the same. So it was AI. The pictures were AI.
SPEAKER_00No, it was really her. Like, I could show you the pictures, they were just from years ago. They were just her now, yeah. They were just really old.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Fuck. That's I know that's crazy. I know.
Why Dating Feels Too Serious
SPEAKER_00I think people would be so much happier if they just thought everything was a joke. Like, I was I was talking to somebody recently, they're like, Yeah, I think I'm just giving up on dating or this and that. Um, I don't know if I'm gonna I want to find somebody. I'm like, who gives a shit? I'm like, have fun. I'm like, you just want to sit here and be sad? It's like people tell me they're depressed, and I'm like, yeah, you want to go hang out? They're like, I'm depressed. I'm like, well, doing nothing ain't gonna help you.
SPEAKER_01We were just talking about this, how dating isn't fun anymore because people take it so seriously. Yeah. And they, you know, it's so transactional and they think way too hard about it. Just have fun, like you said.
SPEAKER_00It's like if you're so for at least like people who have a lot of money, it's I think a lot of attractive women don't understand this. Is that if you have money, and like say if my my buddy who I've known since I was like five years old, needed help, like I'd I'd pay for him to do something. Like, hey, listen, just you don't even need to pay me back this and that. But the money that guys with the money that they're spending on these girls, they don't understand that the money that they're spending on them, they're willing to waste. Like they would have wasted on anything. So why not just take a girl out? And they think that it means something, but it's the money they're using on them is worthless to them. So it's kind
Defining A Power Couple Match
SPEAKER_00of the same thing.
SPEAKER_01Are you looking for a serious girlfriend or are you just having fun?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I have fun if I get to have fun. I mean, if I was to choose like my build my woman, I've thought about it recently, just because like ever since I got the car, the house, I'm like, man, what's next? And so I'm thinking, I think I would want a girl who wants what I want, which is like, because if I have to take care of somebody, I think I'm just gonna leave you behind. Like I have to have somebody with like that's my same pace. Cause like I have my own business, I have fun with it. I'm always into making money, so I can have like a nice house and be like safe. I'm like, I would like a woman that wanted to do the same thing for herself, like a power couple, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Some people like to be in control, but I'm like, I would rather if something happens to me, you're here for backup, something happens to you, I'm here for backup. Like we're supposed to be a team, right?
SPEAKER_02Build a woman. So do you have do you have physical characteristics? What would your ideal physical type be if you could build build your woman?
SPEAKER_00Tall, like at least my height, like five nine, five ten. And then it's really honestly more of the my mental than it is anything.
SPEAKER_01Our first guest from today. I think they would go really well. Actually, maybe she is she's the same as you, she's very sarcastic. All her TikToks are hilarious, but she's not serious, and she gets a lot of people hating on her, taking her serious. She's taller, she's she owns her own business, doesn't she? Yeah, she's beautiful. She's going very much. She's blonde, blue eyes. How old are you?
SPEAKER_0031.
SPEAKER_01Okay, she's 23, but she's very smart.
SPEAKER_00Last girl I took, I was 24.
SPEAKER_01We'll have to chat about this afternoon.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you say it like it's a bad thing, and he's like, no, no.
SPEAKER_01So carry on. So tall.
SPEAKER_00Tall, I think just driven is the main thing.
SPEAKER_01Stubborn, okay.
SPEAKER_00Driven, because like if you're not driven and I'm taking care of you, I'm just gonna treat you like you're not ethnicity, color of hair. Oh no, my family bangs anything that moves. If you were looking at my 23andme, you're like, do you guys even ask them their name before you do it?
SPEAKER_01Like, oh my god, that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_02It's in your blood. Yeah. That's funny.
SPEAKER_01Are you ready for it?
Open Relationship Ethics And Honesty
SPEAKER_02I'm ready for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your bank account. All right. So wait, what did I say? They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your bank account. We help you keep more in your relationship. Okay. Um, listener question. I'm in an open relationship with my man, meaning it doesn't matter who he talks to or sleeps with, as long as he's open with me about it and vice versa. I just found out about a girl who he's seeing out of the state who thinks that she is dating him exclusively and has no idea I exist. I'm struggling with how to approach this because he's technically following the rules with me, but I don't think that he's being fair with her. Do I send her an anonymous message just letting her know that he has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship, or leave it be and talk to my man?
SPEAKER_01I feel like communication is key. Key. Talk to him and tell him that hey, you need to be open with her. That's not fair. You need to communicate. Right? Didn't you think? It should come from here.
SPEAKER_00So they're in an open relationship, first of all. And he's just so it's the only fact that he didn't tell the other girl that he's in a relationship.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he hasn't told the girl. The other girl thinks that they're exclusive. Which that's messed up. That's being deceitful.
SPEAKER_00Right? Yeah, I mean, like, I wish I could know more about the woman that that's that's going over this.
SPEAKER_02Because how does how does the person that he's in the open relationship, how does she know that the other girl thinks that he's that she's exclusive with him?
SPEAKER_01She probably asked him, does she know that you're with me?
SPEAKER_02And he probably it sounds like she hasn't talked to him about it though yet. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I think communication is key. She needs to talk to him to see what's going on, and he needs to talk to the other girl.
SPEAKER_02I think I'd break up with him. Really? I don't think I'd even have a conversation.
SPEAKER_00I mean, they're in an open relationship, let's be honest. She's not gonna leave. That's even if you're not sure. Even if that happens, she's not gonna leave. That's true. That's true. She's just gonna be upset for like a day or two.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And be like, no, you don't get any of this tonight, and then he's gonna go hit something else, and then they'll be back.
SPEAKER_02That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. I think talking to him first would be better than sending the girl a message.
SPEAKER_01Because I think it looks better coming from him. And maybe he just it slipped his mind, or maybe he just didn't think it would go get so serious.
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_00I have a theory about like women who like this type of like turmoil within relationships.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because like guys, they usually are women are the ones trying to keep them in line. Like, oh, he's doing drugs, or he's gambling, or he's this, he's that. I feel like women like to like start arguments or fights just to keep like the like because a guy likes stress, that's why he gambles or he does this, and like a woman tries to pry just so they can have something going. Like you guys have heard the saying, right? You can do anything you want to a woman, you just can't bore her. That's a real saying.
SPEAKER_02I have a friend that says that about herself. She's like, she's like, do anything but bore me. Yeah, like a lot of women do love the drama, they need the drama.
SPEAKER_00Serial killer documentaries, you name it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. How do you feel about open relationships? Did we talk about open relationships in your last episode?
SPEAKER_00I don't think so.
SPEAKER_02I don't think so either. Would you would you ever be in one?
SPEAKER_00Not a serious open relationship. I'd be like, yeah, we're open on my end. That's it.
SPEAKER_01So you couldn't, if you were married and your wife said, Hey, we've been married for 10 years, it's getting a little boring. Let's just have an open marriage. Would you be down for that?
SPEAKER_00Fuck, that would be the toughest question in the world. I I mean, depends. It depends what she's. This is why I think the dynamic of like a power couple would be so like important. I feel because if it was a girl I'm taking care of, I'd be like, Yeah, let's fucking do it. I'm like, you're gonna stick around because you need me, type of thing. Rather than like, if we want to be together, we'll be together. You know, for what's best for both of us. But like if I'm taking care of you, I'd be like, Yeah, let's have an open marriage. I wouldn't give a shit.
SPEAKER_02I don't think I could I don't think I could be in an open marriage. I don't think I could, though.
SPEAKER_00I had this buddy who, when I was 20, I think, I just stopped seeing this girl recently, and he like told me he's like, hey man, you wanna you wanna bang my girlfriend with me? I was like, you know what, fine, I guess fuck it. I'm like, I mean, hey, but I think he only did that because he thought that I would do that if I I'm like, no, that's not how this would work.
SPEAKER_02Wait, did you go through with it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_02So is that a train or a threesome?
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's a threesome. A train that requires, I think, more than like two guys.
SPEAKER_02Because there's a lot of guys that think two guys and one girl is a train, not a threesome.
SPEAKER_00I mean tomato tomato.
SPEAKER_01That's funny. I do remember when I was single, I went on a date with this guy that checked all the boxes. I actually was very interested in him, but he told me that he liked to watch his woman have sex with other men, and he wanted that in a relationship. And I I never saw him again because it's just not me, you know.
SPEAKER_00What a loser.
SPEAKER_01I feel like I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I think that's kind of popular though. It is. I that I could not do. I don't know. When I think about like an open relationship, I yeah, I don't know. I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Question for you Do you bang twos?
SPEAKER_00I do it all.
SPEAKER_01You you bang ones as well, once.
SPEAKER_00I have I have a I mean I have a story. So like me and my friends were like we'd hang out with these girls and we're just friends, we were cool. So my buddies, you know, they banged her. I mean, she has some big ass titties, and you know, so when you're on a dry streak, you gotta just you gotta hit something. So I come home with the bar, I come home from the bar, just strike out, and I call her up. I'm like, my like this girl that my buddies would bang, and I never said anything, I did anything with her. And then we she just like showed up to the bar, we didn't even make it out of the parking lot. And then she left, and then I think like a year, a year later or so, we were all hanging out. I was like, guys, I got a confession to make. And they're like, What? You didn't fucking tell us?
SPEAKER_02I don't understand. I had a friend like that, she was a neighbor, she lived in my community, and she would just she would bang, she would sleep with whoever, like whoever's her name.
SPEAKER_00I mean, just so I can avoid that. Where do you live? What's in a nice one? Just so I can avoid it.
SPEAKER_02And she actually had really huge titties too, but she moved out. I know, I was now starting to wonder, not a couple years ago. She moved into my community during COVID in 2020, and she moved away. I'm not sure. We fell out of touch before she moved away, but I think she moved away like a year or a year and a half ago.
SPEAKER_00Okay, good.
SPEAKER_02Back to Vegas.
SPEAKER_01I mean, some people are like sex addicts, and they No, I think she was a sex addict. I think she was.
SPEAKER_02I think she was. I remember going over to her place one night, and she was telling me about her weekend, and I was like, How was your weekend? And she was like, Oh, I had my my double penetration dream come true this weekend. And I was like, What the fuck? Like, like that's one of your goals. Like, that was one of your goals.
SPEAKER_00How do you find two guys to agree to this?
SPEAKER_02She did.
SPEAKER_00Do they still got back pages? Is that still a thing?
SPEAKER_02It is still a thing. It is still a thing. Yeah, I don't know where she found these guys, but she found two guys that were willing to.
SPEAKER_01Speaking of sex addictions, did you hear there's now a sex party cruise?
The Mediterranean Sex Party Cruise
SPEAKER_01So there's a sex party cruise now opened and operating in the Mediterranean. The business is called Killing Kittens, and they refer itself to the ultimate female empowerment brand. It started as sex parties focused on the women, where or orgies where women have to make the first move. Killing Kittens was founded by Emma Sale, who was once snapped hanging out with Catherine Middleton. And she founded it in London, and it began as sex parties in houses and estates in the country, but becoming a 15 million pound business. And now they're moving into cruises. A sex cruise with 630 passengers. Cabins cost from 5,000 pounds to 35,000 pounds. And guess what? It sold out within minutes. Um topless women queued at the bar for all you can drink Moe. The youngest passenger is 24, the oldest passenger is 74. And activities include beginners' lap dance classes to spanking fundamentals. And then they have a dungeon which opens in the evening and has 32 double beds. Consent rules are huge on this cruise with many reminders on the app and signs all over the boat. And someone went on, I saw this TikTok of someone who took the cruise and said that she was very impressed with how many people were open and honest about who they are and what they want. And she said that she felt extremely safe. Isn't that hilarious? A sex cruise?
SPEAKER_02How many clinics and doses of penicillin do they stock on the car? You know what?
SPEAKER_00You really got some for everything.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. That sounds that that is too many. That's too many exchanges of the city. Guys would get rejected straight to the 74 year old.
SPEAKER_00Straight to the 74 year old.
SPEAKER_01I read that to my husband, and his first words were it's the Chlamydia Carnival. No, seriously.
SPEAKER_00If you're calling it kitten kit uh killing kittens, you might as well just call it killing the pussy. Like at this point, like it's so open.
SPEAKER_02I wonder if it was is if it was 50-50, like do they split how many men and women so that you don't so that you don't end up with the cruise ship full of like because what if it's all women or they'll probably make it mandatory you gotta bring somebody, yeah, of the opposite sex.
SPEAKER_00Let me just hire a prostitute for the week.
SPEAKER_01That that would actually be a good rule to kind of nip that problem in the bud would be you have to bring a member of the opposite sex with you. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02But what if you don't have any other friends? Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_00Did these people start out of Arizona? Did it say?
SPEAKER_02You might have to go, you might have to go abroad.
SPEAKER_00They might be the owners of encounters.
SPEAKER_02Oh, encounters some of them.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it seems like you're getting flashbacks now.
SPEAKER_02No, I've known people that have gone there. I've heard about that place.
SPEAKER_01Now, some of the celebrity cards. Well we're marined in the juices of the celebrities. Oh my god, did you know Anna Lynn McCord? Who? Annalyn McCord. She was in 902, the remake of 90210. She was in Days of Our Lives. I think she's still in Days of Our Lives. I don't know, but she's like, I'd know her face if I saw her, I think.
SPEAKER_02I just I Who was she? Do you know who she was on Days of Our Lives? I have no idea.
Celebrities Crowdfunding A Wedding Backlash
SPEAKER_01No. I just I've lost a lot of respect for her and her freaking fiance. So Emmy nominated actress Anna Lynn McCord and her fiance, Danny, who he is a rugby player. They got engaged. He proposed with a 15 carat ring. Probably cost a pretty penny, right? They are crowdfunding the wedding. They are asking fans and regular Joe Blows who work typical 95 to frickin' pay for their wedding.
SPEAKER_00You know what this is like? What? This is literally like this drives me over the fucking wall every time I go to the store. I go to the fucking store and it says, Would you like to donate a certain amount of money to this homeless or whatever? I'm like, motherfucker, you got more money than I do. I'm like, you guys could probably afford everybody that walks into this place.
SPEAKER_01Do you know the story behind that though? So, like Walmart and all these companies, for a tax write-off, they donate, let's say, five million dollars to these charities for tax purposes, right? And then they're asking you to freaking pay for their tax write-off. So that's when you donate money, it's to pay for the five million that they're donating to save themselves money.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for the yearly Ferrari.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01But anyway, so um, some of their wedding expenses that they've listed on their registry are like, you know, music, beverages, catering, photography, the rehearsal dinner, and a wedding venue construction fee.
SPEAKER_02Like are they looking for like sponsors?
SPEAKER_01No, just people to donate money to them to pay for all this. And some of the comments I feel like from people are just great. Someone said, considering how rich you are, asking people who get up in the morning and go to work to finance your wedding is beyond unreasonable. Someone said, um, maybe spend less on the ring so you can afford the wedding. I agree. It was 15 carats. Spend less on the ring so you can pay for the bloody wedding.
SPEAKER_00You know what the conversation is probably behind scenes? They're probably together like, you know what we should do? We should find the idiots who would really do this. Right? It's like when Kylie Jenner was becoming a billionaire, people were donating money so she could be a billionaire. I'm like, this is an IQ test. I mean, I know that they say we're not overpopulated. I'm like, we can afford for some people to go. Right. We really can't.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, other comments imagine paying for their wedding while there are people starving. Ridiculous. For heaven's sakes, you're adults. Man up and pay for your own wedding or tone it down. Someone else says, if you your if your reported $8 million can't cover your wedding, I don't think I'm the one with the budgeting problem. And it's true, I think they have the absolute nerve, the absolute cheek, and shame on them for asking. It's embarrassing. It's cringe. I don't have their money, and I would never ask for people to fund my wedding.
SPEAKER_02Well, to buy a 15 karat ring and then to not be able to pay for the wedding is like a little weird.
SPEAKER_00You have to remember, these people live in a completely different world where they're like, oh, you're poor, that sucks.
SPEAKER_01Right. I mean, it's literally like buying a Lamborghini and asking the public to give you gas money. Or buying a first class trip to Europe and paying asking people to pay for your airport parking. Like it's ridiculous to me. But anywho, now it's time to get to
Rapid Fire Red Flags And Dating Rules
SPEAKER_01know you. Zoe sponsored by Zoeyu, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions, okay? Still fi still follow their ex on Instagram. Is that a red flag?
SPEAKER_00Is it? Um depends on the situation.
SPEAKER_01What if they're still friends with their ex?
SPEAKER_00You know what? I'd rather be safe than sorry. So yeah, it's a red flag.
SPEAKER_01Bad tipper.
SPEAKER_00Oh, definitely. Definitely red flag.
SPEAKER_01Has no social media.
SPEAKER_00Depends how hot she is.
SPEAKER_01Where do you take someone on a first date? So golf?
SPEAKER_00Mini golf is always. I come from phone sales, so we say the same thing every call.
SPEAKER_01It's just all kind of So every day you do mini golf?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, unless it's like a like, oh man, I like this one. Like I this one deserves something different.
SPEAKER_01And then what do you think?
SPEAKER_00I already have a plan for this one girl who, if I ever get the chance to like, because I don't want to do it through a DM, I feel like it's very uninformal. So I would like, because we have mutual friends. I'm like, if I get the day, because I've maybe seen her once. I'm like, if I ever get the chance to ask her out in person, like I've got the whole day like planned out in my head how it would go.
SPEAKER_01Where are you taking her?
SPEAKER_00I mean, what if she sees us?
SPEAKER_01She doesn't even know who she is. Does she know who she is?
SPEAKER_00She could know that I'm talking about her because I said we have mutual friends, and all the people watching definitely know that I'm on here.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. Okay. Um, is watching porn considered cheating?
SPEAKER_00Hell no.
SPEAKER_01No?
SPEAKER_00Fuck no. We'll watch it together. We'll watch it together. Hopefully it's girl on girl though.
SPEAKER_01Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?
SPEAKER_00Before no, you ask right after. You ask immediately right after.
SPEAKER_01But then what if she says she's been with 10,000 guys and then you've already banged her?
SPEAKER_00She's more likely to give you the truth after you've banked her than before.
SPEAKER_01That's actually true. Does it change your opinion of her though?
SPEAKER_00Fuck yeah. Really? Reply to me, please. On God's.
SPEAKER_02Are you someone who asks or no?
SPEAKER_00When I was younger, I asked.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then like it just eats away, and you're like, I'll never ask ever again.
SPEAKER_01So let's just say you are on a third date, you really like her, but then she does disclose that she's been with over a couple hundred guys. Do you continue?
SPEAKER_00This is me reenacting, like, oh, that's not a problem. No, I don't care. So that way I I get to bang her, and then I'll fucking be out. I'm like, I'm out.
SPEAKER_01I don't think I've ever had a guy ask me that question.
SPEAKER_00Never mind.
SPEAKER_01I feel like we're too old now. Maybe when you're 18 or 19, when people are just losing their virginity. Yeah. But I feel like now at our age, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know the difference between like men and women is this. Is so if a guy, if a guy and a girl are like, say it's the first time hooking up, right? And he goes over to her, or she goes over to his house, she's uh sees all these like Nazi memorabilias, people like murder pictures, you name it. She's like, I'm getting out of here. Like immediately. She gets out. A guy goes over to a girl's house, she's got Nazi memorabilia, murder photos. He's like, I need to fuck this girl and get out of here. Like that's that's literally that's literally how it goes.
SPEAKER_01That's kind of true. That's funny. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01Do you lose respect for a woman if she puts out on the first date? Honestly.
SPEAKER_00Maybe I would I think I would have to meet like a siren, you know, those mythical ones who like put you under their spell after the first time. Which would be like a one-off, but normally, yeah, I would lose respect.
SPEAKER_01You wouldn't go on a second date?
SPEAKER_00Oh no, I'd go on a second date.
SPEAKER_01Just a banger.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01That's funny. In one in one sentence, why should someone date you?
SPEAKER_00Because I want more out of life, I guess.
SPEAKER_01What is your favorite sexual position and why?
SPEAKER_00Prone bone.
SPEAKER_01What prone bone? Prone. Do you know?
SPEAKER_00Oh, go ahead. Tell her. Tell her. Please, please.
SPEAKER_02I just had this conversation with someone the other day because they were like, I never know what your notes mean because you use big words like supine. Do you know what prone?
SPEAKER_00Does this prone does this camera move? We can like use this concept.
SPEAKER_02I know what the word prone means. No, prone, like the position. Oh, no, I don't. Oh, it's just face down. The girl is face down? Like a board. Yeah. It's like two people, two people planking, but fucking. Like laying flat on your stomach.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. So it's kind of like doggy style, but just not on the fours. You're just lying down. Yeah. You learn something new every day. Prone bone. That's hilarious. Do you have any other questions? Do you have anything else you want to say to the members of the public?
SPEAKER_00Yes.
Final Plugs And Farewell
SPEAKER_00Buy anything on bigboner.com and you can win whatever I'm doing a drawing for at that time.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market. And thank you so much to Big Boner. If you want to snag a date with Big Boner and go to Pop Pop with him, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategy. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.
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