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Sept. 9, 2026

THE BIG BEAUNER METHOD: HOW HE GETS GIRLS WITHOUT DMS

THE BIG BEAUNER METHOD: HOW HE GETS GIRLS WITHOUT DMS

Your dating life might improve the second you stop treating every swipe like a job interview. Big Beauner joins us for a hilarious conversation about dating apps, first dates, and why having a personality might actually get you further than having perfect profile pics.

We talk mini golf dates, profile photo catfishing, power couples, and that awkward space between “just having fun” and “okay, so what are we?” Then things get a little messier when we get into open relationships, honesty, consent, and whether you can really call it ethical if someone else doesn’t know the full story.

Plus, there’s a sex party cruise, a celebrity wedding crowdfunding disaster, and plenty of internet chaos along the way. Basically, dating advice, questionable decisions, and a lot of opinions.

Hit play, send this to your funniest single friend, and leave us a review with your hottest dating take.

A big shoutout to our amazing sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies! You can check them out at steptax.com. Remember, we drop your drawers, and they drop the tax—making life a little smoother for everyone. Thanks for keeping us covered!

00:00 - Threes Jokes And Single Life

02:08 - The Micro Maidens Night Out

04:21 - Viral Satire And Building A Brand

06:19 - The Hinge Date Photo Reality Check

10:00 - Why Dating Feels Too Serious

11:06 - Defining A Power Couple Match

13:13 - Open Relationship Ethics And Honesty

20:14 - The Mediterranean Sex Party Cruise

23:13 - Celebrities Crowdfunding A Wedding Backlash

25:58 - Rapid Fire Red Flags And Dating Rules

30:16 - Final Plugs And Farewell

Threes Jokes And Single Life

SPEAKER_01

So big boner, I love your shirt, but do you really bang threes?

SPEAKER_00

I in fact do.

SPEAKER_01

You do really?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes, I really do. Because when you're on a dry streak and you haven't had anything in a while, you know, some people don't like to admit it, but I will. Okay, is that sometimes you need to, you know, watch the ball go through the hoop sometimes just to get your feet wet again. You know, you don't just you don't just jump into the ocean, you gotta go in the kiddie pool. I mean, never mind, the regular just put your feet in the water. That's one of the Epstein one. My bad. My bad.

SPEAKER_01

That is hilarious. Oh my gosh. So you're still single?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Have you had any crazy dates since we last saw you?

SPEAKER_00

Crazy dates, not so much. I was really trying to buy a house for a while, so I didn't like go on any dates because I didn't want to spend unnecessary money. And then I mean I just started doing uh going on dating again. So it's uh it's been quite a ride.

SPEAKER_02

Did did you buy a house? Yeah, you did, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, where about uh it's on like Dobson Ranch.

SPEAKER_01

Oh nice, I like Dobson Ranch.

SPEAKER_00

I had to move because like the last place I lived in, you have to suffer for a few years before you get a new place. So I was in there for like two years, and there was literally by the time I left, there was dudes that camped out like right. We're on like 16th in Osborne. So it was like, you know, I had to leave. I brought my parents in to help me move, and my mom's like, God, thank God you left. That place is so depressing.

SPEAKER_02

Have you christened your new house yet?

SPEAKER_00

Oh yes. Oh yes, oh yes, in many different places, the kitchen specifically.

SPEAKER_01

So, where are you meeting girls nowadays?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, the dating apps. Dating apps, it's like still a buffet, I guess.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you can eat buffet.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So no serious dates, no serious relationships.

SPEAKER_00

No, I just like having fun most of the time. And like obviously, you can tell by my shirt, I love having fun. I don't know if you guys saw, I started a uh website, bigboner.com.

SPEAKER_02

I love your products, it's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

We have I have quite the catalog in there.

SPEAKER_02

It is it clothing? What is it?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's clothing, koozies. Okay, you name it.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. I love your t-shirts, they're pretty funny.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, thank you. And I do giveaways every month.

SPEAKER_02

I did see something on your page involving midgets.

The Micro Maidens Night Out

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, little people, little women.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes. Yes, little people, dwarves, hot chicks.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I want what is this post about?

SPEAKER_00

It's called the uh micro maidens. It was out in Glendale. And so my cousin last year, he goes, he sent me like a picture, he goes, Hey, you should go to this. And I was like, I'm not, I missed it. I was like, I'm not missing it this year. And so I invited my buddy, who we went, and it was dude, the place was shoulder to shoulder. It was like, was it Club 44 something? I forget the name. But you go there, they do a whole show for you, they give you lap dances, and I'm like, there was it's naked midgets? I mean stripper midgets?

SPEAKER_02

They show their titties every now and then, but the the video that I saw of your dance was in your face.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, she could have broke my nose by sitting on there.

SPEAKER_01

So wait, I'm sorry, is it's not politically correct to say midgets anymore, right? It's literally.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, it depends what state you're in.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and I don't I I don't think it is, but I went to um like an event, a wrestling event not that long ago, and they advertised it as midget wrestling.

SPEAKER_00

They do it up near my town like every year now.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it wasn't like Gilligan's, they had little people working there, and they but they advertised it as the midget bar, didn't they? Yes, yeah, yeah. Because midget isn't a bad word, is it? Is it?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, who knows? You have to ask them.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know, yeah. We need the we need ideas.

SPEAKER_00

Like my mom gets like, because I I was I was telling my dad, I'm like, let's go. I was inviting my friends. She goes, No, you're making fun of this. I'm like, listen, they can get regular jobs, like nobody's telling them they can't, like they could do something else. Like you could.

SPEAKER_02

That's true. It's true. Well, they don't have to do the what did they call it? The mini maiden. Yeah, you didn't micro maiden.

SPEAKER_00

You don't have to do that job. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I know, I don't know. I feel like the people who get most upset about stuff like that are people that aren't actually um midget. So you know what I mean? Like, you're hurting their feelings quite. I'd like to hear it from them. Yeah what you know, yeah. If it I but I think little people is the I know some people like they don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_00

I know other people are like it's little person.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, funny.

Viral Satire And Building A Brand

SPEAKER_01

Do you do stand-up comedy?

SPEAKER_00

No, I've just been so focused on making these shirts, selling them, and then my own business.

SPEAKER_01

How's business doing?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's actually very good. I don't know if you guys saw that video I posted, it went viral. No, so it had like six or seven hundred thousand views. Um, I was wearing this shirt, by the way.

SPEAKER_01

And I've was the way you were slamming marriage. Was it the one where you were like, why did people get married?

SPEAKER_00

You're like, I go to Costa Rica, I pay for like you know, stuff like that. Like how being single just absolutely sucks. And I'd way rather be married in a relationship.

SPEAKER_01

Is that the one where some guy was like, Well, good thing you never have to worry because you'll never be married?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I'm like, No, you don't understand. I want to be married so badly. Like, I'm just begging. But uh, since that video came out, I've sold like 400 shirts.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

Like all of them are the I bang three, so that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01

That's so funny. When you make these videos, you're not are you you're not serious, right?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, what do you think?

SPEAKER_01

Okay, no, because like you want them to be serious? No, but everyone thinks you're serious, and I'm like, of course he's not serious. Like, how do people think he's serious? But there are so many people that are so negative towards you just because they think you're being serious.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's just funny. I like it.

SPEAKER_02

People also don't understand satire. I feel like people don't understand just like sarcasm.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like most people don't have a sense of humor. So I love your videos, I think they're hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you, thank you. Your kids have a PS5?

SPEAKER_01

A PS5, I think my son does, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

They could use another one, go buy something on bigboner.com. They could use another one, sell it. I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_01

I actually have been thinking about buying one of your t-shirts for my husband. I bang threes. Oh my god, I'm his wife.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I got a I got a koozie on there that says my girl's a squirtle.

SPEAKER_01

So a squirter?

SPEAKER_00

Squirtle, like the Pokemon.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

I also have an N-word pass shirt on there where I just say, like, if celebrities own that shirt, we could have saved so many careers. You know what I'm saying? Because they just dropped that, like, it's nobody's business.

SPEAKER_01

So, what was the last date

The Hinge Date Photo Reality Check

SPEAKER_01

you went on?

SPEAKER_00

Just yesterday, actually.

SPEAKER_01

What'd you take her?

SPEAKER_00

Uh to mini golf.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, was it good?

SPEAKER_00

And this is oh, I mean, it was. So I like to, I guess maybe my my hinge profile is more of an IQ testant, is anything. So on there, I like to make jokes all the time. It never stops. So, like when I went to go get my license renewed, I just had the lady put on their 6'9 as my height. And so it says 6'9 on my dating profile, and it has a picture of my ID with just the height there, and it's also got my Insta so people can go there and look at it.

SPEAKER_02

And so she actually put that as your height. Yeah, Arizona DMV. We need to do better.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, I I got it in Patents, so we barely graduate high school there.

SPEAKER_03

So that's fun.

SPEAKER_00

So I did that there, and then I invite I took her to the date, and oh my, her profile pictures were like, wow, this girl's hot. And I I just want to see what happens. Because if we have a good time and you think it's funny, then we're gonna get along. If not, then I just get to be an asshole to you all the way all night, and it's gonna be a good time for me.

SPEAKER_02

And so one of us is gonna have a good time. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

One of us is having fun, and so I uh I put it on there. We went, she showed up. Her pictures were like model pictures, like she looked super hot. And she showed up, and I remember I was walking to the bathroom, and I saw her walk through the door. I go, no fucking way. And she walked through, she had gained like 50 fucking pounds. I was like, no way.

SPEAKER_02

Has she gained weight or did she AI her phone?

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, no, no, no. Well, she worked for like a private um, it was called jet street. I think that's what it was.

SPEAKER_01

The semi-private.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's like a private like CEOs and stuff like go on there, and she was and she looked really hot in those pictures, and she goes, Yeah, my friend made those and or made my profile, and I'm like, God damn it. She kept like I just try to have a good time because like I'm not gonna be a dick if you're not a dick. And so we were just talking, this and that, and she kept bringing up food, dude. And like she would be like, We were talking about uh cuisine. She goes, Yeah, I eat all kinds of cuisine. What do you eat? And I'm like, Well, I like Italian or this, and she goes, She goes, Yeah, I eat pretty much everything. I'm like, that's for damn sure. Like, fuck, like shit. Like, I was and I just in my head all the time, she kept mentioning food. I'm like, fucking hey.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe she was hungry. Mini golf is a lot of work.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I took her to sushi and we kept talking about it.

SPEAKER_01

That's funny. I don't get why people post pictures of a picture that does not represent who they are at this current moment. Like, I'd be mortified if I was bigger and my pictures of me when I was 50 pounds lighter. Because it's isn't that embarrassing? Yeah, super embarrassing, I feel.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sure it is. I mean, me, I'm a little bit different than everybody else. Other people, because I know people have told me, like, yeah, I showed up and she was super fat, and I just said I had to go to the bathroom. And then she goes, she told him, like, why'd you leave? He goes, Well, why'd you lie? But me, if I see that, I'm gonna be like, This, I just think everything's a joke. I'd be like, This is hilarious.

SPEAKER_01

So, how did the date go?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, it was it was cool. I mean, we started talking.

SPEAKER_01

Did she have a cool personality?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, she was all right.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, she no second.

SPEAKER_00

I just kept looking at her in like awe, like, holy shit. Like, there's no fucking like I was trying to like, okay, she's kind of hot this way.

SPEAKER_02

I was just gonna ask, like, was she still beautiful? Was her face still? Her face didn't even look the same. Her face didn't look the same. So it was AI. The pictures were AI.

SPEAKER_00

No, it was really her. Like, I could show you the pictures, they were just from years ago. They were just her now, yeah. They were just really old.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Fuck. That's I know that's crazy. I know.

Why Dating Feels Too Serious

SPEAKER_00

I think people would be so much happier if they just thought everything was a joke. Like, I was I was talking to somebody recently, they're like, Yeah, I think I'm just giving up on dating or this and that. Um, I don't know if I'm gonna I want to find somebody. I'm like, who gives a shit? I'm like, have fun. I'm like, you just want to sit here and be sad? It's like people tell me they're depressed, and I'm like, yeah, you want to go hang out? They're like, I'm depressed. I'm like, well, doing nothing ain't gonna help you.

SPEAKER_01

We were just talking about this, how dating isn't fun anymore because people take it so seriously. Yeah. And they, you know, it's so transactional and they think way too hard about it. Just have fun, like you said.

SPEAKER_00

It's like if you're so for at least like people who have a lot of money, it's I think a lot of attractive women don't understand this. Is that if you have money, and like say if my my buddy who I've known since I was like five years old, needed help, like I'd I'd pay for him to do something. Like, hey, listen, just you don't even need to pay me back this and that. But the money that guys with the money that they're spending on these girls, they don't understand that the money that they're spending on them, they're willing to waste. Like they would have wasted on anything. So why not just take a girl out? And they think that it means something, but it's the money they're using on them is worthless to them. So it's kind

Defining A Power Couple Match

SPEAKER_00

of the same thing.

SPEAKER_01

Are you looking for a serious girlfriend or are you just having fun?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I have fun if I get to have fun. I mean, if I was to choose like my build my woman, I've thought about it recently, just because like ever since I got the car, the house, I'm like, man, what's next? And so I'm thinking, I think I would want a girl who wants what I want, which is like, because if I have to take care of somebody, I think I'm just gonna leave you behind. Like I have to have somebody with like that's my same pace. Cause like I have my own business, I have fun with it. I'm always into making money, so I can have like a nice house and be like safe. I'm like, I would like a woman that wanted to do the same thing for herself, like a power couple, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Some people like to be in control, but I'm like, I would rather if something happens to me, you're here for backup, something happens to you, I'm here for backup. Like we're supposed to be a team, right?

SPEAKER_02

Build a woman. So do you have do you have physical characteristics? What would your ideal physical type be if you could build build your woman?

SPEAKER_00

Tall, like at least my height, like five nine, five ten. And then it's really honestly more of the my mental than it is anything.

SPEAKER_01

Our first guest from today. I think they would go really well. Actually, maybe she is she's the same as you, she's very sarcastic. All her TikToks are hilarious, but she's not serious, and she gets a lot of people hating on her, taking her serious. She's taller, she's she owns her own business, doesn't she? Yeah, she's beautiful. She's going very much. She's blonde, blue eyes. How old are you?

SPEAKER_00

31.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, she's 23, but she's very smart.

SPEAKER_00

Last girl I took, I was 24.

SPEAKER_01

We'll have to chat about this afternoon.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you say it like it's a bad thing, and he's like, no, no.

SPEAKER_01

So carry on. So tall.

SPEAKER_00

Tall, I think just driven is the main thing.

SPEAKER_01

Stubborn, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Driven, because like if you're not driven and I'm taking care of you, I'm just gonna treat you like you're not ethnicity, color of hair. Oh no, my family bangs anything that moves. If you were looking at my 23andme, you're like, do you guys even ask them their name before you do it?

SPEAKER_01

Like, oh my god, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02

It's in your blood. Yeah. That's funny.

SPEAKER_01

Are you ready for it?

Open Relationship Ethics And Honesty

SPEAKER_02

I'm ready for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your bank account. All right. So wait, what did I say? They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your bank account. We help you keep more in your relationship. Okay. Um, listener question. I'm in an open relationship with my man, meaning it doesn't matter who he talks to or sleeps with, as long as he's open with me about it and vice versa. I just found out about a girl who he's seeing out of the state who thinks that she is dating him exclusively and has no idea I exist. I'm struggling with how to approach this because he's technically following the rules with me, but I don't think that he's being fair with her. Do I send her an anonymous message just letting her know that he has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship, or leave it be and talk to my man?

SPEAKER_01

I feel like communication is key. Key. Talk to him and tell him that hey, you need to be open with her. That's not fair. You need to communicate. Right? Didn't you think? It should come from here.

SPEAKER_00

So they're in an open relationship, first of all. And he's just so it's the only fact that he didn't tell the other girl that he's in a relationship.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he hasn't told the girl. The other girl thinks that they're exclusive. Which that's messed up. That's being deceitful.

SPEAKER_00

Right? Yeah, I mean, like, I wish I could know more about the woman that that's that's going over this.

SPEAKER_02

Because how does how does the person that he's in the open relationship, how does she know that the other girl thinks that he's that she's exclusive with him?

SPEAKER_01

She probably asked him, does she know that you're with me?

SPEAKER_02

And he probably it sounds like she hasn't talked to him about it though yet. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I think communication is key. She needs to talk to him to see what's going on, and he needs to talk to the other girl.

SPEAKER_02

I think I'd break up with him. Really? I don't think I'd even have a conversation.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, they're in an open relationship, let's be honest. She's not gonna leave. That's even if you're not sure. Even if that happens, she's not gonna leave. That's true. That's true. She's just gonna be upset for like a day or two.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And be like, no, you don't get any of this tonight, and then he's gonna go hit something else, and then they'll be back.

SPEAKER_02

That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. I think talking to him first would be better than sending the girl a message.

SPEAKER_01

Because I think it looks better coming from him. And maybe he just it slipped his mind, or maybe he just didn't think it would go get so serious.

unknown

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I have a theory about like women who like this type of like turmoil within relationships.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because like guys, they usually are women are the ones trying to keep them in line. Like, oh, he's doing drugs, or he's gambling, or he's this, he's that. I feel like women like to like start arguments or fights just to keep like the like because a guy likes stress, that's why he gambles or he does this, and like a woman tries to pry just so they can have something going. Like you guys have heard the saying, right? You can do anything you want to a woman, you just can't bore her. That's a real saying.

SPEAKER_02

I have a friend that says that about herself. She's like, she's like, do anything but bore me. Yeah, like a lot of women do love the drama, they need the drama.

SPEAKER_00

Serial killer documentaries, you name it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. How do you feel about open relationships? Did we talk about open relationships in your last episode?

SPEAKER_00

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think so either. Would you would you ever be in one?

SPEAKER_00

Not a serious open relationship. I'd be like, yeah, we're open on my end. That's it.

SPEAKER_01

So you couldn't, if you were married and your wife said, Hey, we've been married for 10 years, it's getting a little boring. Let's just have an open marriage. Would you be down for that?

SPEAKER_00

Fuck, that would be the toughest question in the world. I I mean, depends. It depends what she's. This is why I think the dynamic of like a power couple would be so like important. I feel because if it was a girl I'm taking care of, I'd be like, Yeah, let's fucking do it. I'm like, you're gonna stick around because you need me, type of thing. Rather than like, if we want to be together, we'll be together. You know, for what's best for both of us. But like if I'm taking care of you, I'd be like, Yeah, let's have an open marriage. I wouldn't give a shit.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think I could I don't think I could be in an open marriage. I don't think I could, though.

SPEAKER_00

I had this buddy who, when I was 20, I think, I just stopped seeing this girl recently, and he like told me he's like, hey man, you wanna you wanna bang my girlfriend with me? I was like, you know what, fine, I guess fuck it. I'm like, I mean, hey, but I think he only did that because he thought that I would do that if I I'm like, no, that's not how this would work.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, did you go through with it?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_02

So is that a train or a threesome?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's a threesome. A train that requires, I think, more than like two guys.

SPEAKER_02

Because there's a lot of guys that think two guys and one girl is a train, not a threesome.

SPEAKER_00

I mean tomato tomato.

SPEAKER_01

That's funny. I do remember when I was single, I went on a date with this guy that checked all the boxes. I actually was very interested in him, but he told me that he liked to watch his woman have sex with other men, and he wanted that in a relationship. And I I never saw him again because it's just not me, you know.

SPEAKER_00

What a loser.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I think that's kind of popular though. It is. I that I could not do. I don't know. When I think about like an open relationship, I yeah, I don't know. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. Question for you Do you bang twos?

SPEAKER_00

I do it all.

SPEAKER_01

You you bang ones as well, once.

SPEAKER_00

I have I have a I mean I have a story. So like me and my friends were like we'd hang out with these girls and we're just friends, we were cool. So my buddies, you know, they banged her. I mean, she has some big ass titties, and you know, so when you're on a dry streak, you gotta just you gotta hit something. So I come home with the bar, I come home from the bar, just strike out, and I call her up. I'm like, my like this girl that my buddies would bang, and I never said anything, I did anything with her. And then we she just like showed up to the bar, we didn't even make it out of the parking lot. And then she left, and then I think like a year, a year later or so, we were all hanging out. I was like, guys, I got a confession to make. And they're like, What? You didn't fucking tell us?

SPEAKER_02

I don't understand. I had a friend like that, she was a neighbor, she lived in my community, and she would just she would bang, she would sleep with whoever, like whoever's her name.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, just so I can avoid that. Where do you live? What's in a nice one? Just so I can avoid it.

SPEAKER_02

And she actually had really huge titties too, but she moved out. I know, I was now starting to wonder, not a couple years ago. She moved into my community during COVID in 2020, and she moved away. I'm not sure. We fell out of touch before she moved away, but I think she moved away like a year or a year and a half ago.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_02

Back to Vegas.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, some people are like sex addicts, and they No, I think she was a sex addict. I think she was.

SPEAKER_02

I think she was. I remember going over to her place one night, and she was telling me about her weekend, and I was like, How was your weekend? And she was like, Oh, I had my my double penetration dream come true this weekend. And I was like, What the fuck? Like, like that's one of your goals. Like, that was one of your goals.

SPEAKER_00

How do you find two guys to agree to this?

SPEAKER_02

She did.

SPEAKER_00

Do they still got back pages? Is that still a thing?

SPEAKER_02

It is still a thing. It is still a thing. Yeah, I don't know where she found these guys, but she found two guys that were willing to.

SPEAKER_01

Speaking of sex addictions, did you hear there's now a sex party cruise?

The Mediterranean Sex Party Cruise

SPEAKER_01

So there's a sex party cruise now opened and operating in the Mediterranean. The business is called Killing Kittens, and they refer itself to the ultimate female empowerment brand. It started as sex parties focused on the women, where or orgies where women have to make the first move. Killing Kittens was founded by Emma Sale, who was once snapped hanging out with Catherine Middleton. And she founded it in London, and it began as sex parties in houses and estates in the country, but becoming a 15 million pound business. And now they're moving into cruises. A sex cruise with 630 passengers. Cabins cost from 5,000 pounds to 35,000 pounds. And guess what? It sold out within minutes. Um topless women queued at the bar for all you can drink Moe. The youngest passenger is 24, the oldest passenger is 74. And activities include beginners' lap dance classes to spanking fundamentals. And then they have a dungeon which opens in the evening and has 32 double beds. Consent rules are huge on this cruise with many reminders on the app and signs all over the boat. And someone went on, I saw this TikTok of someone who took the cruise and said that she was very impressed with how many people were open and honest about who they are and what they want. And she said that she felt extremely safe. Isn't that hilarious? A sex cruise?

SPEAKER_02

How many clinics and doses of penicillin do they stock on the car? You know what?

SPEAKER_00

You really got some for everything.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. That sounds that that is too many. That's too many exchanges of the city. Guys would get rejected straight to the 74 year old.

SPEAKER_00

Straight to the 74 year old.

SPEAKER_01

I read that to my husband, and his first words were it's the Chlamydia Carnival. No, seriously.

SPEAKER_00

If you're calling it kitten kit uh killing kittens, you might as well just call it killing the pussy. Like at this point, like it's so open.

SPEAKER_02

I wonder if it was is if it was 50-50, like do they split how many men and women so that you don't so that you don't end up with the cruise ship full of like because what if it's all women or they'll probably make it mandatory you gotta bring somebody, yeah, of the opposite sex.

SPEAKER_00

Let me just hire a prostitute for the week.

SPEAKER_01

That that would actually be a good rule to kind of nip that problem in the bud would be you have to bring a member of the opposite sex with you. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02

But what if you don't have any other friends? Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00

Did these people start out of Arizona? Did it say?

SPEAKER_02

You might have to go, you might have to go abroad.

SPEAKER_00

They might be the owners of encounters.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, encounters some of them.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it seems like you're getting flashbacks now.

SPEAKER_02

No, I've known people that have gone there. I've heard about that place.

SPEAKER_01

Now, some of the celebrity cards. Well we're marined in the juices of the celebrities. Oh my god, did you know Anna Lynn McCord? Who? Annalyn McCord. She was in 902, the remake of 90210. She was in Days of Our Lives. I think she's still in Days of Our Lives. I don't know, but she's like, I'd know her face if I saw her, I think.

SPEAKER_02

I just I Who was she? Do you know who she was on Days of Our Lives? I have no idea.

Celebrities Crowdfunding A Wedding Backlash

SPEAKER_01

No. I just I've lost a lot of respect for her and her freaking fiance. So Emmy nominated actress Anna Lynn McCord and her fiance, Danny, who he is a rugby player. They got engaged. He proposed with a 15 carat ring. Probably cost a pretty penny, right? They are crowdfunding the wedding. They are asking fans and regular Joe Blows who work typical 95 to frickin' pay for their wedding.

SPEAKER_00

You know what this is like? What? This is literally like this drives me over the fucking wall every time I go to the store. I go to the fucking store and it says, Would you like to donate a certain amount of money to this homeless or whatever? I'm like, motherfucker, you got more money than I do. I'm like, you guys could probably afford everybody that walks into this place.

SPEAKER_01

Do you know the story behind that though? So, like Walmart and all these companies, for a tax write-off, they donate, let's say, five million dollars to these charities for tax purposes, right? And then they're asking you to freaking pay for their tax write-off. So that's when you donate money, it's to pay for the five million that they're donating to save themselves money.

SPEAKER_00

Thanks for the yearly Ferrari.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But anyway, so um, some of their wedding expenses that they've listed on their registry are like, you know, music, beverages, catering, photography, the rehearsal dinner, and a wedding venue construction fee.

SPEAKER_02

Like are they looking for like sponsors?

SPEAKER_01

No, just people to donate money to them to pay for all this. And some of the comments I feel like from people are just great. Someone said, considering how rich you are, asking people who get up in the morning and go to work to finance your wedding is beyond unreasonable. Someone said, um, maybe spend less on the ring so you can afford the wedding. I agree. It was 15 carats. Spend less on the ring so you can pay for the bloody wedding.

SPEAKER_00

You know what the conversation is probably behind scenes? They're probably together like, you know what we should do? We should find the idiots who would really do this. Right? It's like when Kylie Jenner was becoming a billionaire, people were donating money so she could be a billionaire. I'm like, this is an IQ test. I mean, I know that they say we're not overpopulated. I'm like, we can afford for some people to go. Right. We really can't.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, other comments imagine paying for their wedding while there are people starving. Ridiculous. For heaven's sakes, you're adults. Man up and pay for your own wedding or tone it down. Someone else says, if you your if your reported $8 million can't cover your wedding, I don't think I'm the one with the budgeting problem. And it's true, I think they have the absolute nerve, the absolute cheek, and shame on them for asking. It's embarrassing. It's cringe. I don't have their money, and I would never ask for people to fund my wedding.

SPEAKER_02

Well, to buy a 15 karat ring and then to not be able to pay for the wedding is like a little weird.

SPEAKER_00

You have to remember, these people live in a completely different world where they're like, oh, you're poor, that sucks.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I mean, it's literally like buying a Lamborghini and asking the public to give you gas money. Or buying a first class trip to Europe and paying asking people to pay for your airport parking. Like it's ridiculous to me. But anywho, now it's time to get to

Rapid Fire Red Flags And Dating Rules

SPEAKER_01

know you. Zoe sponsored by Zoeyu, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions, okay? Still fi still follow their ex on Instagram. Is that a red flag?

SPEAKER_00

Is it? Um depends on the situation.

SPEAKER_01

What if they're still friends with their ex?

SPEAKER_00

You know what? I'd rather be safe than sorry. So yeah, it's a red flag.

SPEAKER_01

Bad tipper.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, definitely. Definitely red flag.

SPEAKER_01

Has no social media.

SPEAKER_00

Depends how hot she is.

SPEAKER_01

Where do you take someone on a first date? So golf?

SPEAKER_00

Mini golf is always. I come from phone sales, so we say the same thing every call.

SPEAKER_01

It's just all kind of So every day you do mini golf?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, unless it's like a like, oh man, I like this one. Like I this one deserves something different.

SPEAKER_01

And then what do you think?

SPEAKER_00

I already have a plan for this one girl who, if I ever get the chance to like, because I don't want to do it through a DM, I feel like it's very uninformal. So I would like, because we have mutual friends. I'm like, if I get the day, because I've maybe seen her once. I'm like, if I ever get the chance to ask her out in person, like I've got the whole day like planned out in my head how it would go.

SPEAKER_01

Where are you taking her?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, what if she sees us?

SPEAKER_01

She doesn't even know who she is. Does she know who she is?

SPEAKER_00

She could know that I'm talking about her because I said we have mutual friends, and all the people watching definitely know that I'm on here.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. Okay. Um, is watching porn considered cheating?

SPEAKER_00

Hell no.

SPEAKER_01

No?

SPEAKER_00

Fuck no. We'll watch it together. We'll watch it together. Hopefully it's girl on girl though.

SPEAKER_01

Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?

SPEAKER_00

Before no, you ask right after. You ask immediately right after.

SPEAKER_01

But then what if she says she's been with 10,000 guys and then you've already banged her?

SPEAKER_00

She's more likely to give you the truth after you've banked her than before.

SPEAKER_01

That's actually true. Does it change your opinion of her though?

SPEAKER_00

Fuck yeah. Really? Reply to me, please. On God's.

SPEAKER_02

Are you someone who asks or no?

SPEAKER_00

When I was younger, I asked.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then like it just eats away, and you're like, I'll never ask ever again.

SPEAKER_01

So let's just say you are on a third date, you really like her, but then she does disclose that she's been with over a couple hundred guys. Do you continue?

SPEAKER_00

This is me reenacting, like, oh, that's not a problem. No, I don't care. So that way I I get to bang her, and then I'll fucking be out. I'm like, I'm out.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think I've ever had a guy ask me that question.

SPEAKER_00

Never mind.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like we're too old now. Maybe when you're 18 or 19, when people are just losing their virginity. Yeah. But I feel like now at our age, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You know the difference between like men and women is this. Is so if a guy, if a guy and a girl are like, say it's the first time hooking up, right? And he goes over to her, or she goes over to his house, she's uh sees all these like Nazi memorabilias, people like murder pictures, you name it. She's like, I'm getting out of here. Like immediately. She gets out. A guy goes over to a girl's house, she's got Nazi memorabilia, murder photos. He's like, I need to fuck this girl and get out of here. Like that's that's literally that's literally how it goes.

SPEAKER_01

That's kind of true. That's funny. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01

Do you lose respect for a woman if she puts out on the first date? Honestly.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe I would I think I would have to meet like a siren, you know, those mythical ones who like put you under their spell after the first time. Which would be like a one-off, but normally, yeah, I would lose respect.

SPEAKER_01

You wouldn't go on a second date?

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, I'd go on a second date.

SPEAKER_01

Just a banger.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's funny. In one in one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_00

Because I want more out of life, I guess.

SPEAKER_01

What is your favorite sexual position and why?

SPEAKER_00

Prone bone.

SPEAKER_01

What prone bone? Prone. Do you know?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, go ahead. Tell her. Tell her. Please, please.

SPEAKER_02

I just had this conversation with someone the other day because they were like, I never know what your notes mean because you use big words like supine. Do you know what prone?

SPEAKER_00

Does this prone does this camera move? We can like use this concept.

SPEAKER_02

I know what the word prone means. No, prone, like the position. Oh, no, I don't. Oh, it's just face down. The girl is face down? Like a board. Yeah. It's like two people, two people planking, but fucking. Like laying flat on your stomach.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. So it's kind of like doggy style, but just not on the fours. You're just lying down. Yeah. You learn something new every day. Prone bone. That's hilarious. Do you have any other questions? Do you have anything else you want to say to the members of the public?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

Final Plugs And Farewell

SPEAKER_00

Buy anything on bigboner.com and you can win whatever I'm doing a drawing for at that time.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market. And thank you so much to Big Boner. If you want to snag a date with Big Boner and go to Pop Pop with him, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategy. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.