IS SHE LOW-MAINTENANCE OR IS SHE SETTLING? THE CHILI'S TEST WON'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING 🤫

Catfished Cold Open

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.

Meet Madison And Her Pattern

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Welcome to the meat market. The single scene is the slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it. We are your hosts. I'm Lindsay. I'm Jess. And today's sexy single is Madison. Welcome. Hi. So you had made the quote that with my track record, I should not date. Why do you say this?

SPEAKER_03 0:30

I am notorious for picking horrendous men. Like absolutely horrendous men. The worst one that you could possibly find is probably what is gonna come my way.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

You have like a magnet to douchebags.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Yes. Even worse, my last sex is like certifiable. Like crazy. Yes. Like how so? Um we met online. He lived in a different state, moved here to Arizona to be with me. Um we had set up for him to like live with this person that I know is like a roommate situation. He ended up deciding he didn't want to do that, kind of like moved in with me, and I was like, Oh, I don't want you in my space. Like, I do not want you in my space like that. Um, turns out the entire time that we were together, he has two kids of his own. I also have kids. He wasn't paying us child support. He was addicted to Coke, which I didn't know. He was stealing money from me to purchase Coke. Um, he also had decided to make fake accounts on TikTok to essentially like comment about my appearance every day. And he did that for six months while we were together. Did you know it was him? I didn't know it was him until the end. Like there were certain things that I would tell him, being like, oh, like I'm kind of insecure about this or I don't like this about my body. And then

The Ex Who Moved In Fast

SPEAKER_03 1:46

come the end of the relationship, some of those comments has started to say those things specifically. And I was like, Oh, it's you. So he was pretending to be someone else saying negative comments about us? Even when you were together? Yes, for months. Why? Just trying to knock you down? Um, he was a very insecure man, like a very small insecure man. And so I think that for him it was kind of like a power trip. Even when we broke up, he's like, Well, I have more followers than you on TikTok. I'm like, no one cares about TikTok like that. Oh my god, what a loser. I'm like, no one cares about TikTok like that. And he was like, Well, I have more followers than you, so no one would believe anything that you say about me. And I'm like, that's a really um, that's an interesting take, but okay. How immature. So, how were you together when he moved in with you? Um, we'd only been together a couple of months. Yeah, I did not want him to move in with me. I was fine with him moving to Arizona. I was like, okay, that's fine. It makes sense, seeing as how you live in Texas, like it would just be easier, obviously. Um, I did not want him to live with me. I wanted him to live in the roommate situation. And once he was in, it was kind of like impossible to get him out.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

What was his living situation in Texas before he moved?

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Um, so he would travel, travel for work. He would go back and forth, but he's from East Texas. So he would go back and forth between Texarcana, where he's from, and then go down towards like the Tyler area for work. Um, and his grandparents still live up in Texarcana. So since he was traveling back and forth for work, he would stay with them or stay wherever. Turns out he wasn't actually doing that. He was living in his truck.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

So he was homeless. Yeah, he was homeless. Before he moved here. Yeah. Would have been nice to know. It would have been super nice.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

It would have been really nice to know. Um, he's still homeless now. I found that out. Um, so not my monkey, not my circus anymore, which is really nice. So, how did you end up breaking up and why? So I have been trying to break up with him since June of last year. We ended up not breaking up until October, like the middle of October. And every time I break up with him, he would cry, which And make you feel bad? No, I would laugh at him, which is probably wrong. But I'm like, why are you crying? Like, so um, I ended up trying to break up with him multiple times. It just doesn't work out. Like the situation was not necessarily the most safe for me to get out of. And back in August, we ended up going up to have a suit. He ends up proposing to me with my friends there. And I'm like, Oh, I don't want to marry you. Oh, so you said no? I had said yes because I was like, this is not a situation where, like, if I say no, I know that this is not a safe scenario for me to be in. So I say yes. I'm trying to just play it out, be like, okay, maybe my gut is wrong. Maybe I'm just like feeling weird about it. Maybe I just have cold feet and I just need to play it out. We end up staying together. I end up losing my pop at the beginning of October. And right after that, we come back into town. I'd been out of town for a week at this point, going back and forth between like being by my grandparents, all that. And he picks a fight with me because I had messaged him being like, Hey, um, the accounts, like, your account is negative. Like, I had gone to buy a coffee and I was like, Your account's negative, but you just got paid two days ago. Like, what's going on? Like, did something happen? He blew up on me that when we got home, so I said, Okay, you're done. Like, get out. Um, he ended up accusing me of stealing money from him, like three grand. And it turns out he had been using all of that money to purchase coke. And so I kicked him out and he ended up living in his truck again after that. And then he moved to a new state. So crazy.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

How old is this person?

SPEAKER_03 5:17

27. And so was he he was living with you and your kids? Yeah. Dang. And I had tried so hard to get him to go somewhere else. Um, I also found out after we broke up, he uh told because his kids live in a different state, and he had told the mother of his kids that I don't ever have my kids. I have sole custody of my kids, and I have my kids full-time. So he was like, Yeah, she doesn't ever have her kids, she doesn't see her kids. Um, he was like, We don't do anything involving them. I do everything, I work two jobs. Um, he does not work two jobs, he could barely hold the one job. I was paying all the bills, doing everything. And that was essentially my life. Is he still in Assona living in his truck? No, now he's living in a tent in Kansas. Oh wow. Yeah, he's made moves to greener to greener pastures.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Well, it's really nice there this time of the year.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Yeah, he's made moves to greener pastures. I did hear rumors that he's been posting about wanting to come back here. I hope he doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

But like you said, not my monkey, not my circus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Were there red flags in the beginning that you ignored? Um I mean asking to move in after two months of talking is kind of a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 6:37

And that was something that I was like, oh, I don't like this. Like, I don't want you to do that. There were certain conversations that we had had where I was like, okay, some of the things that you're saying don't really add up to me, but I don't know these people that are included in this like situation. So I can't really place a judgment because I don't know all of these people. Like, these are people I've never met. And so some of these things I'm like, okay, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, take what you're saying at face value, and then evaluate on my own as time goes on and see if maybe you start showing me other things that kind of prove that hey, like what I'm thinking is correct.

Proposals And Getting Out Safely

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Um, I would say come June is when I had really started to notice. And I was like, Yeah, I really do not want to be in this relationship anymore. I want to be out of this entirely, and the wheels are already turning for me. And I started trying then to safely just exit from that situation. You ignored your gut. You thought your gut was wrong. Women's intuition is always spot on. I should have listened. If I had listened, I would have completely avoided the whole last year of that situation with him, and it would have been a much better

Army Life And Dating Culture

SPEAKER_03 7:44

year. So you used to be in the army? Yes. How did you get into the tell us about that? Um, so I joined the army at 17. I joined when I was still in high school. Wow. My parents, so my parents had basically said, um, we don't want you to pull out student loans, which is understandable at 18. Like, why would you want your kid necessarily to go into debt like that? So they were like, hey, we don't want you to go into debt for college. You can either go to community college, live here, go to work, or you can join the military. And I said, Well, I kind of want like the freedom to not be living with you guys. I'm gonna go and do what I want to do. So I joined the military, um, ended up meeting my ex-husband. We had two kids. We got divorced about five years ago, and I moved back here. So I've been really fortunate to be able to travel across the country. I've lived overseas for a little bit. Um, I've had a lot of like world experience by the time I was 23, which is really That's awesome. Yeah, which is really nice. Was your husband in the military also? Did you get hit on a lot by military guys? Um, I think that military men are all dogs and they will hit on anything that walks. Really? But you married one. I did. Yeah. That's true for that. That's true. Um, when I met him, we were actually in the same battalion. We worked together, like directly together. I was a medic, and he was part of our scout platoon as a sniper, and so that's how I had met him.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Do you think there's a difference between Army, Navy, Air Force? Like the branches. The branches.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Um I mean, we all make fun of the like Navy or Air Force simply because it's the more like desk type branch, is what we refer to them as. Um, for me, I was on a line, so I was always out with all of the guys, going on their missions, doing whatever it was they were doing. I was out on their trainings all the time. The Marines and the Army are very similar in that aspect.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

I mean, like specifically men, the way men, you said all they're all dogs. Is there one that's worse than the other?

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Um, I think that Marines are a little bit more stupid. Um, I think they're a little bit more dense, they're a little more egotistical and kind of full of themselves. The army, the men in the army are they're kind of like puppies that were kicked, I feel like.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Yeah, they're kind of like puppies that were kicked.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Like they have a heart and they're somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

They're trying, but they're just not trying hard enough. Um, the Air Force, I feel like a lot of them are egotistical, but in a different way than like Marines are. Marines are definitely body egotistical, whereas Air Force is more they think they're like in intelligent, superior. Like that's their complex, is that they're more intelligent than other people. The Navy, I haven't had as much interaction with them. So when you traveled, did you date internationally? No. Um, so my ex-husband and I actually met. I was 18, was just turning 19 when him and I met. We dated for a while, broke up. I dated another guy that was in the army. That guy and I broke up. My ex-husband and I ended up running into each other, and we were like, hey, we should just get married. And so we did two weeks later. Oh my god. Wow. With literally like no thought behind it. Typical military.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

And how long are you married for?

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Four years. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Was it a good four years, or were all four years bad?

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Um, so him and I are definitely not meant to be together. I don't have anything negative to say about him. He is just definitely not my person. I feel like his behavior and treatment of me and our relationship is very different than what he is now. Um, so we have two kids together. His girlfriend and him now have been together since him and I split, and she's wonderful. And they are definitely very well suited for each other. Like when you meet two people and you're like, oh, their personalities work well, they are definitely people who should be together. That's what they are. Him and I are not that. We are very, very different people with very different goals, aspects of like what life is supposed to look like, stuff like that. So him and I were just two people who really had no business like messing around with each other. Are you on the dating apps

Dating Apps And Strange Messages

SPEAKER_03 11:59

now? Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

How's that going for you?

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Um, I've actually gone on some dates over the last couple of months with guys who are really nice. There's no romantic chemistry, but they are friendly. I will say some men are weird. I had a man message me the other day asking if I have fruit snacks in my pantry.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

What?

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

That's random.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Yeah, because on hinge it has like the part where you can be like, oh, do you have children and stuff like that? And so I do put that I have kids. I know it's a deal breaker for a lot of people. But he was like, Yeah, do you have snacks in your pantry? And I was like, Yeah, who doesn't have snacks in their pantry? Did he elaborate as to why he was asking these things? Well, he was like, You're a mom, so you'd have to have snacks. And I'm like, Yeah, I feel like any normal person is not a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

I'm not a mom in my pantry, it's like full of snacks.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Well, and he goes, Will you send me a picture of your pantry? No, he did not. Yeah, I was because he had said something about how he needs to see it. And I was like, That's crazy business, thinking that I would let a man come to my house, especially a man I'm not dating. And he goes, Who said anything about coming to your house? I just want a picture of it. And I said, A picture of my pantry? I said, That's probably the weirdest request I've ever gotten.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Maybe it's a test to see if you're a real person, you know how there's like a lot of AI accounts on dating apps, right? Because I've had people are like, Okay, take a picture of yourself holding up two fingers. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Then why doesn't he just do that? Why the pantry? Because he could just Google picture of pantry right now.

SPEAKER_03 13:17

Yeah, I was like, that's just kind of weird behavior. I was like, I've never been asked something like that. And I've been asked weird things. So I'm like, picture my pantries.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Trying to gauge how healthy if you have a healthy lifestyle, because if the pantry is full of Oreos and Cheetos, I don't know. I'm trying to think, oh my god, what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 13:33

I honestly think that he was trying to gauge if I would let him come to my house. And then when I said, Oh, like, why would I let a man come to my house? I think that he tried to backpedal.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Yeah. So we have a mutual frenemy, and I think you have blocked him since. Um, but he posted, he and I are still friends on social media not long ago. He took a photo or he posted a photo, and I don't know if it was true or if he just captioned it this way, but it was like the chick I went home with, this is her fridge. Should I stay or should I run? Like, and and like people commented, like, based on what was in her fridge, whether he should what was in the fridge? Is there anything controversial? I don't remember. I don't remember. Did she have weird things in her fridge? There wasn't. I just I feel like I remember there wasn't very much like solid food. I remember it was a lot of liquid things, and maybe some like sour cream or something. Like there was a lot, it was just like a combination. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

It's funny how people judge on other people by their fridge contents. Like, I remember reading a story that Robbie Williams, you know, the English singer, went on one date with some American famous singer, I forget who, and he literally opened her fridge, looked in it, and then left and ended the date because there was apparently no food in the fridge, nothing to cook with, and he likes the woman that cooks. Isn't that hilarious? So he liked totally ended the date.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

I ended a date once because a guy showed up wearing flip-flops. Flip-flops are for girls. Really? That's a deal breaker for you? Oh, I don't like, oh, I don't want a man's dogs out. That's so gross. What if well, I guess you're not in like a beach. You're not in like it is situational with it. And it wasn't a situation for a flip-flop. We wear it dinner. Like you're not, don't wear flip-flops to dinner.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Unless you're at like a tiki bar or like a beach bar or if we're at a beach, a lake, the river, sure, wear your flip-flops.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

So you might have a regular restaurant here in town. Yeah, I might side-eye a little bit, but like you should not be wearing flip-flops as a man to this restaurant, like a normal, nice restaurant. Did you end the date immediately or did you No? We went on the date, and I mean there was other issues, but I was like, ooh, and he'd asked me why I didn't want to go out again. I said, You wore flip-flops. I would like to do it. He was like, Really? That's it. And I said, Yes, you wore flip-flops, and I don't like that.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

You for being honest.

SPEAKER_03 15:49

Like, I don't like that.

Deal Breakers That Actually Matter

SPEAKER_03 15:51

What are your other deal, right? Because drugs. I don't want a man who does drugs. I live a very structured lifestyle. Like my life is very routine. I'm very clean cut. I don't want the association with any of that. I want a man who's very put together. So going out on the weekends and drinking every now and then is fine. But you at the ripe age of me being almost 30, you shouldn't be out doing drugs recreationally at all. Like that's not an attractive feature. Um, I want a man who has a stable job. I don't really necessarily care, I guess, about how much they're making. Like, I'm not one of those people that's like, oh, you have to make X amount of money to be with me, but you need to have a set job. Like you shouldn't be bouncing from job to job at roughly 30 years old and kind of being stuck in this position where like you never know where you're going, you have no direction. Um, for me too, I feel like the way that men speak to women who they're not romantically involved with is a big deal too. If I hear a man disrespect a woman in any nature, that's something that's not anything I want to be a part of. If you're disrespecting a woman you don't even know, I can only imagine how you're speaking to women you do know. Have you ever walked out mid-date? I don't think I've ever walked out mid-date. Um, there was definitely a date that I've been on where I was like, oh, I kind of want to leave you here, but I didn't. Um, I should have.

The Concert Date From Hell

SPEAKER_03 17:15

But I've never actually just like gotten up and walked out.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

What is the craziest West date you've ever been on? Do you have any disaster date stories?

SPEAKER_03 17:22

Um a couple of years ago, Kenny Chesney and Megan Moroni came out here for a concert and it was the middle of summer and it was at auction, so it's really hot. It's outside. My mom and I originally were gonna go to this concert. She ended up not being able to go, and so I had a day to essentially like find someone or go by myself. I ended up matching with this guy on Bumble. He was not my normal type. I was like, okay, I'll try it, see if maybe I just need to like branch out and find something different. He texted me the day of and he goes, Okay, what time are you picking me up? I said, Picking you up? Why would I pick you up? That's weird. But I'm like, whatever. You're five minutes from my work, I'll come get you, not a big deal. I pick him up. I already have the tickets, mind you, both tickets for the show. And so he's like, Okay, we'll go to the show, I'll pay for everything else since you have the tickets. And I'm like, Okay, great. Our seats are in the lawn, so we have to rent chairs. He's like, I'll buy your drink, whatever. We get there, mind you, it's a cashless venue, and it says that everywhere. We get up to the line and he goes, Oh, I only have cash. Will you buy these drinks? I'm like, what do I look like? I said, How much is it? And he he goes, Well, this. And so I'm like, Okay, well, give me the money and then I'll buy it. So he gives me money for his drink. I'm like, okay, that's great. I've like, I'm already ready to go home at this point, but I wanted to see Megan Moroni. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna stay here. So we end up going, go to get rentals. Same thing. He doesn't want to pay for mine. I'm like, I'm not paying for yours. Like, I'm just gonna pay for mine. You figure it out. We get these chairs, we go sit in our spot. He's already getting drunk at this point. Mind you, he's had one drink physically with me. So I'm like, okay, were you drinking like prior to this? What's the situation? The show starts. He goes, Hey, I'm gonna go and get another drink. I'm like, okay, cool, goodbye, have fun. I'm having a good time on my own, should have just gone alone, anyways. He comes back with a fish bowl, like margarita drink.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

He's hammered because he couldn't buy your first round of drinks because all he had was cash.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Yeah. And so now all of a sudden, he can buy a fish bowl, which are like $30.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Wow. Yes. What?

SPEAKER_03 19:27

So he comes back with this and he's like slurring his words. Basically, I'm like, oh my God, like what were you doing? Because he was gone for like 45 minutes. And he goes, Yeah, I met these two ladies in line and they bought me this drink. And I'm like, okay, go hang out with them. Oh my God. Please go hang out with them, see if they'll take you home. And so we're sitting there at this concert. Megamaroni set is over at this point. We're waiting for Kenny Chesney to come on, and they're like, Hey, it's gonna be delayed because of the rain. So we're sitting there, I'm like, hey, let's just go home. Let's just leave. I'm fine leaving. I'll skip Kenny Chesney and we can just go. This can be done with. And he's like, no, let's stay. I'm like, please, I just want to be done. This whole time he's telling me about how the concert was on a Wednesday. He told me he got home Monday from going out of town with this lady who's older than his mom. And he met her at a bar the Saturday prior. Went out of town with her Saturday, left the bar, went up north for like two, like two hours away, went up north, stayed up there all weekend. He comes back down to town Monday, goes to her house, gets in her house, he's sitting in her kitchen, and her husband comes home.

unknown 20:29

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

And he's telling me this. And I'm like, I I was like, I'm at like a loss for words how I ended up here in this situation. And so I'm like, okay, let's leave. Let's go. And he's like, well, no, we should, we should stay here. And I don't, I was like, I don't want to stay here. He then takes a call from another girl and goes, I'm not busy. You can come over. And then sends her his address. And I'm like, have her come get you here, please. Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

I was gonna say you drove. You should have just left a long time ago. I should have.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

I was like, I feel like that's I would have felt bad. Cause I'm like, I feel like that's wrong. Because if I had been on a date with someone and they did that to me, I'd be like, Well, shit, like, how do I get home now? And so I'm like, okay, I'll be the decent person and take you home. But I'm like, have her come pick you up, please. Right. And then he texted me the next day because the show did get delayed. He texts me the next day and he goes, Hey, if you're not gonna go to the show, can I have your ticket?

SPEAKER_02 21:23

This guy keeps getting worse.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

I know I feel like how he assumed that you would pick him up for the show. I would have been like, Well, we didn't talk about how you were getting home. Yeah. And just left.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

And he had texted me this like an hour and a half prior to the show. So I should have been like, no, I'll just go by myself. I was like, whatever, like, I'll branch out, give him the benefit of the doubt. I just need to quit doing that, I think is giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Are We Dating The Same Guy

unknown 21:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:49

Yeah. Um, I ended up seeing him on the Are We Dating the Same Guy page a couple of months after, and there was hundreds of comments about how horrendous he is. Oh my god. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

I always look up guys in that page.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Oh yeah. I I love going through that page.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

It's funny how many guys are on that page. Good and bad though. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

But so if you had just met a guy, would you really post his picture up there to see to No, I've never posted anyone in that. But people do that. But it's like, don't you want to get to know the person for yourself? Because there's going to be gruntled ex-girlfriends on there that are going to want to sabotage, right?

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Yeah, the women who post men, they're like, oh, we matched an hour ago. Any red flags? I'm like, girl, how about you say hey, like hi, hello, something to him before you go posting him? Because if I was that guy, guaranteed it's going to get sent to him. No matter what the rules are of the page, it's getting sent to him. Exactly. So I'm like, someone's going to send this to him, and he's going to be like, well, I'm not dating anyone. I'm not only talking to people. Yeah. And I just mash with this person an hour ago. It's the only thing that would make sense. So it's just embarrassing for you. Doesn't it make the woman look crazier?

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Yes. Yes. Like that page just starts to set up to protect women, but I feel like it can make women look like the crazy ones. Yes. Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

I'm like, maybe that's why you're single. It's because you're immediately trying to find fault in these men. And like I said, I pick really bad men and I know this, but I know that there's good men out there. They just have not crossed my path.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

I feel like the good ones aren't using dating apps.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

No.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

To be honest.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

No. But how do they meet people? See, and I don't go out very often anymore. Like I just kind of work and hang out at my house or hang out with my friends doing whatever. So I feel like it is kind of hard to meet people organically.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

I feel like you I meet a lot of single guys. Like

Meeting People Offline Now

SPEAKER_01 23:40

if you go on the apps? No. So if you just go out and coffee stuff, yeah. If you just like go out and put yourself in places where people are, like, I don't know. I think it's easy.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

But nowadays, do people actually socialize? Because I feel like when you go to a coffee shop or when you go out so much, people are so immersed in their phones and head down. Do people actually go out and are they aware of their surroundings?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I go to a coffee shop to work. Like, like you go out and do things that you like to do, like your hobbies, and then you meet other people.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

See, and like there, I love football. I am like the biggest Bills fan you will ever meet. And I love going out and watching games in public. And I have no issue having conversation with men or like going up to men and talking to them myself. I feel like men don't approach women very often anymore, though. And I feel like it's intimidating maybe for them or for both parties, especially when women do have something that they do enjoy. And it's one of those things where it's kind of like, okay, how do I fit myself into that position for him? Sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

But do you think men don't hit on women as much because of the whole Me Too movement and how women get so offended or cry assaults? Do you think that's stopped a lot of men from making nice comments or flattering women? Or do you think I don't think so?

SPEAKER_03 24:59

I don't think so. I think that I think that nowadays when it comes to it, everyone has a very entitled behavior when it comes to meeting people. And I feel like dating apps and social media have kind of skewed the idea of what a relationship is supposed to look like, or kind of what it's supposed to be like when you meet somebody. And I feel like for a lot of men and women too, like I definitely notice this with women as well. I feel like you're always kind of looking for something better. So I feel like when you go out and you meet someone, you might talk to them. But if you see something else that catches your eye, you're gonna divert from that immediately. And I feel like that's just kind of how it is with a lot of people nowadays.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Well, because I I forget who it was, but someone was saying that he worked with this girl that he had a crush on and he wanted to compliment her hair, but he was scared to death to do it because he's like, I'm in the workplace. She could accuse me of, you know, hitting on her in the workplace and you know by telling her that he likes her hair. That doesn't matter. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

Do you know how you know how it's kind of I mean, there are some women definitely who are kind of weird. Like I think there was a difference.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

You know, sh she looked hot in this jacket, but he meant hot because it was 90 degrees, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Some women can spin things and I feel like there's definitely a you need to be able to read the room. Yeah, that's true. Like I feel like you should be able to tell kind of what the vibe is of the person that you would maybe be giving that type of compliment to, and kind of what their personality is and how they tend to receive compliments or feedback from people, anyways, and then go from there with it. There are definitely some women though who saying something like that to them, they'd be like, He's hitting on me.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Yeah, like he's being a creep, but I don't yeah, I don't know. I I don't think it's that I don't

Listener Question On Standing Someone Up

SPEAKER_01 26:40

think it's that deep, but I think it's just like the fear of rejection.

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Maybe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Are you ready for it? I'm ready for it. They keep more minute, brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet. We help you keep more in your relationship. All right, so we have a listener question. Okay, so it says, Hey ladies, I'm a 27-year-old female. I'm seeing a guy, and we were supposed to go to dinner, but I don't know how I missed it. Well, I do know how I missed it. I had a small procedure done a few weeks ago, and I was pretty sleepy still. So I thought I'd take a nap. I dozed off around six in the evening, and the plan was to wake up by seven and start to get ready. I missed my alarm and woke up around 2 30 in the morning, slept almost through the whole night, and realized that I stood him up. When I opened up my text messages, he was waiting for me, and when I didn't show up, he left. I felt really bad and it wasn't intentional. How do I make it up to him?

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Why would you schedule a date after procedure? Like, right? Well, how long would you wait?

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Like you would wait more than you wait more than a couple weeks to go out? No, I'm just not on the case. I said a couple weeks ago. I'd have a small procedure a couple weeks ago.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

I think for me, if that was like my situation, I would definitely reach out to him, make sure he knows I am apologetic. And I'd just be like, is there any way that we can reschedule? And then I would plan something that's definitely more tailored toward like towards his interests, I guess. That way he could see like the intention is there. Like it was definitely not my intent to stand you up or blow you off, and then see if he's receptive to that.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

I would probably do the same thing because if you've been seeing each other or talking, likely he knows like you've told him like about your health situation or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Like, and I feel it's just how you approach it. If you communicate and are sincere and genuine and authentic, he should be able to tell, right? And then, like you said, make it up to him.

SPEAKER_03 28:40

And sometimes things happen. Like I can understand on his end why he would obviously be upset. But too, like I said, I would probably just do something intentional to show him, like, hey, I am really sorry. I would like to make this up to you in some way and see if he's at least receptive to that.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

As long as he hasn't blocked her already. What do we have on? That's like, I got stood up as like an immediate block. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

So one of the most Googled questions when it comes to relationships is how long does the honeymoon phase last?

How Long The Honeymoon Phase Lasts

SPEAKER_02 29:09

How long would you say? I they say that if you can last three months, if you make it to the three-month mark, you're good to go. But a lot of people break up at that three-month mark because that's when you start seeing their annoying habits and really getting to know them, seeing the green red flags. What do you guys think in your experience?

SPEAKER_01 29:26

I feel like all of in all of my relationships, the honeymoon stage lasts a really long time. So if you do research, it says zero to six months.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

This is the peak euphoria. Your brain's reward centers are on high alert, making everything feel exciting and relatively effortless. Six to twelve months, the transition begins. The initial neurochemical rush starts to level off, and you begin seeing your partner's unfiltered everyday habits, both the good and the annoying. And then one to two years, the phase usually concludes. Couples either successfully transition into a deeper, more grounded companionate love, or struggle to navigate real world real world conflict as the per se perfection wears off. But I guess it varies too. They say, you know, life stressor stressors, moving in together, having your first major argument can accelerate the end of the honeymoon phase.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

So that would be like six months. That article says about six months. Six months, yeah. I I would say on average. I that's about average, I would say. That's what I would expect, I think.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Yeah, I would say probably right around there. I think that once you hit the six-month mark, typically you kind of form into like that routine with each other and things just become more comfortable.

Catfishing Turns Deadly In Phoenix

SPEAKER_02 30:32

So, did you guys read that article? And it happened here in Phoenix. The woman, there was a woman that ran over her date after he accused her of catfishing him. Did you read this?

SPEAKER_03 30:42

I actually think I saw something about that yesterday. Yeah. I didn't see the location, but I saw something about a lady running her date over. And then it was like him laying in the hospital bed.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

And he passed away. Wait, what? So Michela, here in Phoenix, 30, is facing murder charges for running over 52-year-old Norris. Norris had messaged his family saying he was meeting a girl from an app and was headed to pick her up. He then texted back saying he had been catfished as she didn't look like her pictures and he was trying to end the date. Surveillance footage shows them at a dispensary together and then shows her running him over outside his apartment. She's seen leaving his apartment, got in her car, he came out, she ran him over. After she ran him over, she took a bus to Flagstaff, where her mother lives, and then she was arrested in Flagstaff. She claims she remembers leaving the dispensary together, but has no recollection of what happened between then and her running him over. Damn.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

That's crazy, right? I couldn't imagine being that upset, I guess, over a man not being interested in me that'd be like, I'm gonna run you over. Right?

SPEAKER_01 31:50

How dare you accuse me of using old pictures, you know?

Dating Safety And Sharing Locations

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Also, I feel like I need to start like, I need to start being more communicative with people. Because I'm like him texting his family, like, I have a date today and I got catfished, gives so much information to the story that he wouldn't be able to give if he were just dead.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Because even today, I sent my mom like a notice. I was like, hey, here's the address for where I'm gonna be at. This is what I'm doing, this is the time frame I was given, just so you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

No, I never know. Like, if I, if if that were me and my date ran me over, like no one would have any idea what, like, they wouldn't even have known who I was with. Like, okay, good point. But like that, I mean I never tell anybody anything that's going on in my life.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

I solo travel a lot, and I will go on dates with people in these places I solo travel to, and I don't always disclose information then to my mom because I'm like, you're not even here. Like, what are you gonna do? You're not here.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

I probably should. No, and that's so last fall I spent six weeks because I solo travel as well. And my mom was like, okay, she's like, I think it's a time like you start sharing your location with me. Like, six weeks is a long time. And so I started at least sharing my location with her, but it's the same way. Like, my mom will text me on a Sunday and she'll be like, try to call. She's like, I'm just trying to call and catch up. And I'm like, send her back a picture of like Ceviche on the beach. And I'm like, I'm out of the country, like, I'll call you back next weekend. She's like, Oh, have fun. Like, I just don't have anyone that I tell what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

See, like my parents have my location. I have a lot of friends who have my location. Um, I went to Nashville for Christmas last year and I went on a date with a guy out there. My mom calls me and she goes, Oh, what are you doing? And I was like, Oh, I'm getting ready to go out. And she goes, Well, where are you going? And I said, Oh, I'm going on a date. And she goes, Aren't you in Nashville? And I said, Yeah. And she goes, You're going on a date with a man out there. And I said, Yeah. She goes, When'd you meet him? I said, Oh, like an hour ago on Hinge. And she goes, You're gonna die. Well, maybe I guess. But like it's a date.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

I feel like it's a little more dangerous usually using dating apps, though. I don't use dating apps, so it's like anybody that I meet that I'm going to be hanging out with is someone that I've just like met in person. Yes. Or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And it's funny because I met a guy once and I went out with him, and I remember I did text you because he was British, but he ended up being like just a total douchebag. And when I got home, or one of the next time I was at home at my parents' house, I wanted to tell my mom about him. And he had had a profile picture on his WhatsApp profile. And so I was going to show her his picture because she was like, Well, what does he

Boundaries After A Travel Date

SPEAKER_01 34:40

look like? And I go to pull him up and he had blocked me. So I couldn't even show her his picture.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

Yeah, the guy that I went out with in Nashville, we had made plans to go get dinner and drinks. And I was like, okay, perfect. I had made it very clear from the job. I was like, I'm fine paying for my portion of things because this date is not going there for you. Like, that's not what my intent is. And I was like, we matched an hour ago. Like, there's no world in which I expect someone to pay all this money to go out with me on a short notice like that. So I made that clear up front. We go out, had a really good time. He wanted things to go there. And I said, no, I don't want that. Like, that's not what I'm looking for. And so I went to go and end the night. The next day, I get a text message from him and he's like, Oh, we should go and do this together. You should let me come to your Airbnb. And I'm like, I don't want you in my Airbnb. Leave me alone.

unknown 35:31

No.

SPEAKER_03 35:31

Leave me alone. And he kept texting me. And then the next day, I was actually flying back here. I get another message from him at like 2:30 in the morning telling me that if I want to be a good person and not steal from him, that I'll Venmo him. Because he did end up paying for dinner. But like I said, I'd already said, like, I will pay for my own stuff. I don't need you to pay for it.

SPEAKER_01 35:53

Yeah, that was your choice, sir.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

Yeah. And so he said, if you want to be a good person and not steal from me, here's my Venmo. And I ha ha reacted it and left it at that. You did not send anything, right? No. God no. I just ha-ha reacted that message and left it at that. And then he blocked me because I had actually gone to go and remove him off of social media because I was like, I don't want you on my stuff. He'd already blocked me and he reported my Instagram account. For what? I don't know. But I was like, okay. He's so petty. Yeah. What up? How old is this guy? I want to say 30, 31, somewhere around there. And it's funny because he doesn't live in Nashville. So he's from Nashville, from that area, but he lives in Texas. He lives in Austin. And we both were just in town like for the holiday season. And so I was like, oh, perfect. Like there's literally no strings, no commitment, no sideways thought. Like it is literally I have laid out on the table for you what is gonna happen here, and that is that. And apparently in his mind, that is not it.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

So enough, I think for enough women though, an initial no turns into a yes, yeah, really easily or really quickly. A lot of people say no, but they don't really mean no. And so then it's like when it's like, no, this is my boundary, and this is actually my boundary, then it's a problem.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

Oh, yeah, and I'm very firm on that. Like if I set that boundary with you, that is what that boundary is. You are not crossing that line for me. And even the next day, I went out on Broadway by myself the next day, like during the day. When I watched football, did whatever it was I was doing, was just interacting with people, socializing. So obviously, there's so many people out there all the time. It's impossible for you to not meet people. So I ended up going out there, dealing with whatever, and he kept texting me, being like, Well, let me come to your Airbnb. I want to see you. Like, I'm gonna be at this place. And I was like, I just didn't respond. I'm like, I don't want to see you. I don't know how much more clear to make that.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

Dang.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Because I'd already told him, I said, Hey, I don't feel comfortable with like the advances you're trying to make when I've already set this line for you. And like, I just think that you and I are definitely looking for a different thing. Like, you and I had different intentions with this, and so it was like, you know, best of luck to you. I hope that you find what you're looking for. It is not me. Quit hitting my line.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Have you ever been somewhere and gotten on one of the apps and been like, oh my god, this city has like really good guys, or the opposite, the city has really bad guys.

City By City Dating Hot Takes

SPEAKER_03 38:21

Um I love looking at the men in Fort Worth. I got to Fort Worth a lot. I have friends who live out there. The men out in Fort Worth are like stunning, otherworldly, beautiful. How so like manly or I definitely like a more rugged cowboy type look. I love a mustache, I love a mullet, and all of those men are typically that. And it's like a wonderland for me.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

How funny a wonderland. Yeah, it's beautiful. That's funny. Now it's time for the celebrity cut where we marinate

Celebrity Stories And Media Exaggeration

SPEAKER_02 38:54

in the juices of the celebrities. Did you guys see that whole article on Britney Spears and how she went crazy in the restaurant, was barking like a dog and flashing lives everywhere and just acting like a maniac and crazy? But then you do some. Did you hear about this? No, but I think that'd be hilarious. So it's like, oh my god, she's gone crazy again. But then if you do the research and you hear the stories from the restaurant, like the surveillance footage shows her at this liquor store with her security guard, just being happy, bouncing around, dancing, and she goes to pay, and he's like, No, I'm gonna pay. And then at the restaurant, the restaurant manager comes out and says, No, she was barking like a dog because she was telling a story about how her neighbor's dog was barking crazily, and then she ordered a steak with a knife and was talking with her knife, like telling a story. And as she's cutting, you know, you sometimes they they were like, She was not waving knives around. It's just funny how people exaggerate. She was going crazy, barking like a dog and waving knives everywhere. So funny.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

I feel like everyone does that with Amanda Bynes, too. Yes, yeah. Everyone's always posting crazy things about her, and I'm like, leave her alone. She's like normal-ish now. Right?

SPEAKER_02 40:00

She's living her life. Yeah, I feel that's all just to get clicks, right? Yes. Now it's time to get to know you as Zoey, sponsored by Zoeya, your neighborhood yogurt.

Rapid Fire Red Flags

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Rapid fire questions. Are these red flags or no? Makes she split the bill on the first date. Yes. Still follows their ex on Instagram. Yes. Is a bad tipper.

SPEAKER_03 40:18

Depends on the service. Has no social media at all. Oh, I don't like that. You don't like it? No, I want to be able to like stalk you a little. Isn't it disappointing? Like when you know what time you stalk someone. Yeah, I need to know what you're doing. I feel like if you don't have social media, you're hiding something. Yeah. Where should someone not take you on a first date? Hmm. That's a really good question. I don't know. I don't really go on very many first dates. You know what's funny? So a lot of people say how about that? I feel like a lot of men ask to go to work out on a first date.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Do they really? Yeah. That's kind of weird. I've never had a man ask me to the gym on a first date. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:57

A lot of men will be like, oh, we can go and like do some sort of like physical activity at the gym. And I'm like, how about no?

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Does he just want to watch you do squats or bend over? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

I feel like it's Or he's like, you want to go play pickleball? No, I don't want to play pickleball. I don't know you. I don't want to play pickleball with you.

SPEAKER_02 41:13

So a lot of people say, I don't want a man to take me to McDonald's on a first date. But let's just say Brad Pitt asks you out and it's like, let's go get a big man. Like, would you really be turned off? And if it's the right person, is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

If it's the right person that's a good one, if a man asked me to go to Chili's on a first date, I think that's like my dream, actually. I love chilies. I do too. McDonald's is not my preferred choice.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

So like for me either.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

Yeah, so like I wouldn't want that. But like for me, I was like, hey, you want to go to Chili's and get a triple different margarita? I'll be ready in five.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

Like if it was a water burger, I'd be okay with it, I think. Yes. Green chili burgers was so good. My favorite. It's so good.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Before you're intimate with someone, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?

SPEAKER_03 41:56

I don't think so, but that's also that doesn't matter to me. I don't think about that. Is watching porn considered cheating? I think there's a fine line. If you're watching it and picking it over your partner, yes. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date? Yeah, I mean, I've done it. I wouldn't necessarily do it now, but I have. Do you have a crazy unique talent or something about you not many people know? I can write with my feet. What? You can? Yeah. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Make that account.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Girl, get that money. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

No, I've considered it. I'm like, I should do that because they make a lot of money. You do. How did you discover that you can write with your feet? Like, I haven't even tried. Maybe I can. I think I was like 10 when I found it out. I don't even know how we like came to this decision that we needed to try this, but we did and somehow I figured it out. That's how we're going to do that. And that's just something that I've kept with me now for forever.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

In one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_03 42:51

I'm a very normal, safe option. Like I have everything put together. I'm well taken care of and well maintained. I'm a very safe and secure option for them.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

What do you do for a living?

Being A 911 Dispatcher

SPEAKER_03 43:03

Um, so I actually work for one of the local police agencies as a dispatcher.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

Is that like 911 dispatcher? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

Oh, god, I bet that's a stressful job.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

I love what I do. I think it definitely takes a very specific type of person, like personality-wise. So like a lot of people are not suited for it because it is very mentally taxing. For me, I thrive in situations that are really high stress.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

I appreciate you dispatchers. I was on a run once, and you know how on the iPhone, if you hit the side button too many times, it calls 911 automatically. I was trying to turn up the volume in my headphones, and I accidentally called 911. And when I real, as soon as I realized it, I just like hung up the phone on my watch. And then, like two seconds later, they called me back. Yes. So we do have to do that. And she was, I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. It was an accident. I was, I'm out for a run. And of course, I'm like, like breathing into the phone. And I'm like, I swear, I'm not in trouble. I'm not being chased. I'm fine. I'm just for a run. And she was like, oh no, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:07

It happened happens. Yeah, we get those a lot. Um, we do just have to make sure, at least attempt to give you guys a call back. That way we can make sure that there's really no emergency. Yeah, I love what I do. I think that it's, I mean, my whole family does stuff along that line, be it law enforcement or military, something of that nature. And I feel like I'm very well suited for that line of work.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

It's funny you say that because my daughters, a couple of times, when they were super little, called 911 by accident, and they're like, Oh, it's okay, it was a mistake. But then they always make the girls bring the phone in to me so they can hear from me that, oh no, everything's fine. It was a mistake, you know.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

We had a call come in a couple of weeks ago. It was little kids, they're probably about five, and they're like, We, you know, say, Hey, this is so-and-so police department, and they were like, Oh, um, can you guys bring us stickers? Because like the officers carry stickers on them, and these kids had called just wanting stickers. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. I was like, that's really sweet, but but you need to hang up the phone now.

SPEAKER_02 45:09

You can't call 911 for

Closing And How To Find Madison

SPEAKER_02 45:11

that. Thank you for joining us this week at the meat market, and thank you so much, Madison. If you want to snag a date with Madison, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.

SPEAKER_00 45:30

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.