SCIENTIST BREAKS DOWN WHY YOU KEEP LOSING THE GIRL

Catfish Cold Open And Welcome

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Welcome to the meat market. The single scene is the slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it. We are your hosts. I'm Lindsay and Jess. And today's Sisling Single is Celine. Welcome.

What An Epidemiologist Actually Does

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Hi. So you are an epidemiologist? An epidemiologist. It's hard. It's a hard one. Yeah. That's hilarious. So wait, say it one more time. How are you saying it? Epidemiologist? There you go.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

There you go. That was so clearly I don't know what that is. What is that? So it's actually one of my favorite things to do on dates is that they've I'll ask them, what do you think it is? And so I like to ask, like, what do you think that is? Do you have a guess?

SPEAKER_01 0:49

It's just something with diseases.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

Usually people are like skin, because epidermis is like a part of it. And I'm like, that's really cute. You're really on the track there. I like your Latin use of the word. But yeah, I'm a disease investigator, is like the easiest way to put it. So I track a lot of diseases in Arizona. I work specifically in healthcare acquired infections. So we'll find an outbreak in the in like a hospital or long-term care facility, do testing, see if there's like links. So if they're in the same room or not, or if they had roommates, and try to help stop the outbreak.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

So you like geeked over the hantivirus thing?

SPEAKER_03 1:29

Yeah, but it just makes more work for us. It's really Ebola right now, is actually I heard about that in Africa. Well, it's yeah, we have returned travelers here. So we're kind of dealing with a lot of um prep for the counties and how to deal with return travelers and tracking that.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Because that has a 50% mortality rate, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Yeah, it's pretty scary. It's and it's not the reason it's scary is because it's hasn't been well contained in the Republic of Congo. So yeah, so super fun, like stuff. I love that for me. How did you get into that? Was that something you always wanted to do? No, I actually didn't even know I didn't know what it was either when I started. I wanted to be a doctor when I went to school, but I went to the U of A in Tucson. And not sure if you know about the U of A, but it's definitely like a party school. And I was in a sorority and I played lacrosse and I was in the dorms my freshman year. So pre-med was school is like not my main focus, I guess you could say. If I would go back, I would, you know, try a little harder. But so I wasn't passing my intro science classes. So I went to my counselor and she's like, well, if you still want to be a doctor at the end of school, you can go public health and then take like a semester of extra classes to make up for the other ones that I would have missed with public health. And then I took public health and I thought it was so cool. I never really heard about it before. And um, I like how it's like an investigation. You're like kind of like, you know, investigating where things are coming from and how they're spreading. And yeah, and I like how public health is you're not just helping one person, you're helping a whole community and like future communities. So I really wanted, I want to work in global maternal health. So that's where like I'm working as epidemiologist for the state now to eventually start my own nonprofit for maternal health.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Oh nice where where were you in your career in your studies during COVID?

SPEAKER_03 3:16

I was in my master's program. You were luckily, so like the curriculum hadn't caught up yet. Okay. So I didn't have to learn about it. Okay, that's nice. Because I do, I do think if I was in school, like and having to learn like school right now, and I was in the same situation going to public health, and I had to learn about COVID that ruined my high school experience. I would not, I probably would not have taken this track because the last pandemic was a Spanish flu in 1918. And I knew, I just knew it. I knew something was gonna happen because everything repeats every 100 years. And lo and behold, there there it went. So yeah, it's super interesting. I mean, I'm always learning stuff everywhere. Do you work in a lab? No, so I'm like very high level, is what my supervisor would say, because I just I like direct the counties. So I'm behind a computer, I do a lot of coding and I I like track cases and I review labs, but I'm not in a lab, which I'm I'm happy about. I like to be like hands off.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Do you work from home? Yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Yeah, yeah, I work from home. I like it. I mean, it lets me, you know, do stuff like this and work out during the day and nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Do you like guys because I feel like it's sort of healthcare. Do you like to date guys that are maybe in healthcare or know about it or because you know some people like to date within sort of their field so that they have common interests and things to talk about? So I feel like I don't know, guys who maybe aren't so into like knowledgeable about that kind of thing might not enjoy talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

No, totally. And I don't mind either way. Um, I did recently go on a date with an ER doctor. Um the date wasn't great, but it was cool. It's cool when like they're geeked out about my job because I geek out about it all the time. But if they're interested in it, and I just like on a date, I'm not gonna explain the whole thing. Like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't want to make someone feel dumb. I don't want to like talk about things they have no idea or don't care about at all. So I you know I try not to. If they they don't know about it, they don't want to talk about it, then it I don't care. But if I like when if they do know about it and they're asking me questions, then it's fun to talk about it. Yeah.

Dating In Scottsdale And Mixed Signals

SPEAKER_03 5:30

And you have a podcast? Um, no, I'm going to be starting one, Spill the Beans with Celine.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Oh, I like that title. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

So my Instagram and TikTok is Celine.beans. So it kind of like goes with the I've been wanting to do it for a really long time, but I just I don't maybe just now that I've been using TikTok and I've been sharing like dating stories, people love them and my friends love them, and I love telling them. And so yeah, I mean, if it's something people are interested in, I would love to.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

So what would be the topic of your podcast? Dating?

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Yeah, just like these horrible, interesting interactions that I go through. Like I'm 29, I live by myself, you know, I have have a good career. And so it's like I would think it'd be interesting to share, like, hey, it's pretty rough out there. Like, even like for me, not to like tune my own horn, but like it's hard and it's kind of just ridiculous some of the things you go through when you're dating, like at this age, and especially in Scottsdale, I have to say.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

You think Scottsdale's worse?

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Yeah, and it sucks because I love living here and my parents live here, so I don't I don't have plans on moving ever. And my I work for the state, so it's kind of hard to move. If I were to get like a really cool job in California, I'd love that. But I love Scottsdale. And yeah, it's just like so funny. It's like I match with these guys on these dating apps, and I on my side say long-term relationship, like looking for my person. And so did so is theirs. Like, I won't match with someone if it says like open to short term or figuring out my dating goals. I'm like, you're 29 years old. Wow. How are you figuring out your dating goals? And so I usually won't even match with that. And it's like, then you know, we go on a few dates and they tell me how great I am, and they're like it obsessed. And then a couple weeks later, yeah, you know, you're a great girl, but I'm not really interested in a relationship right now. And it's like, okay, then thanks for that everything. Like, it's always you're an amazing girl, but I've gotten that so many times. Like, you're an amazing girl, but I'm not ready for this. You're an amazing girl, but I don't think I'm in like the right headspace, or I'm still figuring myself out, or I feel like the men in school.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Well, and it's like reading is fundamental, right? Because if you can't look at a woman's profile and read that she's looking for a long-term relationship, why are you asking her out on a date when you're not also looking for a long-term relationship?

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Yeah. And I think that because there's so many beautiful women in Scottsdale that they just jump from one to the next, and you know?

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Yeah, it's it's super frustrating. And I just don't, and also on my profile it says, um, plan the whole date and just tell me when to be ready. And then I get like, I make it really easy for them. Like it's super easy. Like, just match with me, say hi, and be like, all right, this time, this time, what works for you? And um, then they'll just be like, Well, what do you want to do? Or actually can't do that, or do you want to just come over? Like, no, I don't want to just come over. So I don't know you. Yeah. Why would I want to just come over? I hate that. When people are like, Well, I'll just make you dinner. I'm like, no, I'm not, I would need, I'm not going to your house. Like, I don't I don't know why people think that's okay for me to want to go to a stranger's house from the internet on the first date. Like, no. Yeah, I need an exit plan, like a legit exit plan. And people around.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Yes, yeah, a public, a public. I don't, you can murder me. I don't know you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

I mean, I do do background.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

I do my best to do background checks on these men because what does your background

Safety Checks And A Catfish Reveal

SPEAKER_02 9:00

check pre-date entail?

SPEAKER_03 9:02

So it's maybe this is a little crazy, but I don't I have been catfished um once before, but I will hopefully get their phone number. And like if they're if I'm interested, we chatted, they plan a date, I'll give them my phone number and then they'll text me. And then I put their number in reverse phone number search. Because you know, hinge only has first names. So then sometimes it's like you could tell it's like their dad and then their last name. So then I'll um look up their full name because I have their full name. I'll like find their Instagram. I won't like follow if it's private. I won't like let them know that I'm creeping. And then you know, look at I'll just Google them and then kind of just go from there. But sometimes I don't I don't get that lucky. And um, yeah, I just kind of have to trust the person. Sometimes the phone number gives you nothing. Yeah, it says unknown. Uh-huh. Yeah, and that happened. That happened, but I didn't check this guy first.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Look on the tax records to see what properties they own.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Yeah, if I'm really interested, I'll like go I'll go into I'll go into all of that. But yeah, no, it just um I just gotta protect myself, you know? Yeah. So you said you've been catfished. So what? He looked nothing like his picture. Well, one time I was texting this guy, we were texting for a little bit, and he, I hadn't this is when I this this is why I started reverse phone number searching people, because it was like, I really like like tall white guys. That's just like my kryptonite. And just Sue me, I know it's like, could you do, could you not be so typical? But that's that's what I love. And so he was this cute guy, and we were texting, and I would I was saying something like, What's your Instagram? And he's like, I'm not just gonna give that information out to you. And I'm like, Okay, what are you hiding? Well, then like, what's your last name? He's like, I'm not gonna give that either. And then it started getting really weird, and I was like, he's like, You have to earn that or something. And so, like, I went back and forth a little bit, like a little more banter, and then I'm like, all right, this is weird. I reverse search his phone number. It is an Indian name from Michigan. And then I like sent him the name, and I go, Is this who you are? And he's like, Yeah, I'm so sorry, like blah, blah, blah. Like, I'm just like, what were what are you expecting to gain from this? Like, you're an Indian guy in Michigan, like you're nothing like the profile. What's your goal here? Like, I'd never and then I try to report him and he deleted everything and blocked me.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

So And you guys were just talking, like he wasn't talking about planning a date or anything like that, or was he trying to make you believe that he was gonna on a date?

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Oh, yeah, that we were planning. Yeah, we hadn't like made set plans yet because I'm not gonna like make set plans if I don't know something like Instagram last name. Like I need something in order to like agree to go.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

What was his end game though? Like you plan a date and then what he just wouldn't show up. I don't know. Isn't that scary? Like super scary.

SPEAKER_03 11:55

Who knows who's gonna be there, you know, when I show up.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

That is freaking crazy.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

Maybe it's like a like trafficking thing. Like, I don't know. Like, yeah, so that's why I started the whole reverse phone number searching. Cause I'm like, I don't know. I don't know anymore.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Yeah, no, you have

The ER Doctor Date Goes Sideways

SPEAKER_02 12:10

to know who you're going out with. I do the same thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Have you ever had any crazy, wild, disastrous first dates? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Yes. So the doctor that I went on a date with recently, he only likes tiki drinks. What? He said like a Mai Thai. Oh, like a Hawaiian. Pinyoka lata? Like a blue Hawaiian. Oh my god. Like the color of your shirt. That's funny. And so he was a really hot ER doctor. And I'm like, absolutely, like, no problem. Like, I will be going on a date with you. But then he's like, yeah, I only like tiki drinks or like whiskey bars. And I'm like, Do I look like a girl that drinks whiskey? No, I'm not, I don't drink whiskey. So luckily, there is a really cute, like Hawaiian restaurant in Old Town. Like it's called Hula's. Yeah, yeah. I love I like that place. I like Hulu's too. They have Girly Good Happy Hour. Yeah, yeah, their food is good. It was on happy hour, of course. And so we go and we're chatting, and then he's like, Yeah, I only have like one drink a month. And I'm like, okay, and you're choosing a blue Hawaiian. All right. An adios, motherfucker. Got it. Got it. And mind you, he's like 36. And I'm like, okay, no problem. I'm like ordering a skinny marg. I'm like, I'm not 12, but um, yeah, he chugged that thing down. And then he kept yawning the whole time. And um he kept talking about the date he went on the night before.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Oh, God. What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

And that how, and then when we like the person came and asked if we wanted food, and he's like, the food's not good here. And I was like, okay, it was like 5 p.m. Like I was hungry, like I was gonna eat something. And I'm like, okay, so we're not, we're not eating, got it. He's like, yeah, we'll just take the check. And I'm like in my second drink, and he's only had his one drink, of course. We get the check, and he's like, Wow, this is so much cheaper than my date last night. Last night the drinks were $20 each, and I I'm like, Where did you go? Like, wait, I thought he only drinks one night away.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Okay, got it.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Surely and then, and then like he like it's not even been an hour yet. And then the person comes with the check, and I'm like, because he kept yawning, and like I talk, like you ask me one question, I talk, and like at this point, I'm trying to, you know, bullet point, like keep this my story shorter because I know I I need to land the plane sometimes. And but he's like yawning, and I'm like, okay, I'm like, yeah, like, do you want to go? I guess because he that got the check. He's like, Yeah, I like to keep the first date short.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Okay, thank you. So he walks into my car and I'm like, I'm it's like six, it gives me a side hug, and it's like six p.m. And I'm like, I'm gonna go to Porter's downtown or in old town and go talk to the bartender about this horrible date that I went on and made friends with this like six-year-old dad who I talked to for like two hours. But yeah, that was like, and at that that was recently, and I'm like over it. I'm over these guys being assholes and like not getting not like no one like reprimanding them. Like people are like, well, you you know, who cares? Like, don't reach out to them, like you know, screw them, like you're never gonna see them again. But I'm like, no, I don't care anymore. Like, I'm already not gonna see you again. I'm gonna let you know that you were a horrible date and that you were yawning and you made me extremely uncomfortable, and it was really rude, and you shouldn't have come on the date in the first place.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

And that's the thing is if he knew how wonderful his date was the night before. Oh no, it wasn't good. He was telling me also about how it was bad. Oh, I thought maybe that's why he didn't have a good time with you, is because he was hung up on the girl from the night before. Oh, yeah, no. No, he's just a bad date. Yeah, because then he went out with his friends after that too, and he was out to one.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

But he doesn't drink, he drinks once a week or once a month, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

What what do you think his end game was? Like, is he looking to hook up? Like, was he sexually forward in your messages with each other?

SPEAKER_03 15:52

No, he was like super into me. Like it was like really into my job and like really like communicative on text, like almost like too much. And then the date was so the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

I think honestly, because I've experienced doctors. Well, you said he was an ER doctor. Yeah, they're very socially awkward. I think that's all it is. They're very socially awkward. Every single ER doctor I know sounds exactly like what you're describing.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

And they're very like god complex, like egotistical. And like I get it, like, you know, you're smarter than everyone, I guess. Like, whatever. And then I was trying to say, I'm like, well, you know, like I believe things happen for a reason, and you know, like karma, and you gotta have some whimsy in life, like just a little bit. Like, I don't believe that, you know, there's like pixies in the sky, but you know, like some I do think some things happen for a reason. He's like, do they though? He goes, they actually don't. He goes, nothing, nothing like that. I'm like, but aren't we like energy like made of the stars and stuff? He's like, no.

unknown 16:43

I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Wow. I'm like, all right, so got it, no problem.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

No whimsy, could never be me.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

I could never like I'm like, I have an angel number tattooed on me. I'm like, I don't, what the heck?

SPEAKER_02 16:56

I bet he'd never like play pretend or like do anything silly. Yeah, but that's so lame.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Why do you want to live life like that? Like you already see people die in the ER. Like, how about you lighten up a bit? Life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Yeah.

The Questionnaire Date And Walking Out

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Have you ever walked out mid-date?

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Yes. You have? Tell us. Yes. Again, like pretty recently. Um, so this was a guy who I didn't number check. I didn't refer to reverse number because like the way he was I found his Instagram, but the way he was texting, it was like really, um, he gave me like almost like a questionnaire beforehand. And at this point in life, like, I'm here for the effort. The effort is everything for me. So I'm like, whatever. You want to ask some precursor questions? No problem. Like, that's fine with me. But it was pretty long, but I'm like, whatever. But there were weird questions, like, what are you alert? Are you allergic to anything? Do you have a passport? And then like other normal ones, like, when was your last relationship? Are you do you think you're ready to like settle down? And I'm like, okay, like I'm not this never happened before, but I answered, you know, truthfully and honestly. So then he plans his a date. And the date was to go to the Omni and Tempe rooftop bar to like for sunset. And then we were gonna go to Buck and Rider for oysters after. Sounds great. Sounds like a great day. Yeah, sounds great to me. So, you know, I show up, and again, this the confirmation message was like really long and it was like cute, and you know, again, the effort. I'm here for the effort. He said 5 p.m. So I get I arrive early always to dates and just everywhere. So I get there at like 4 55, and he's not there yet, which is fine. Like you should get there early though, but it's fine. I'm not gonna put it like hold it against people. Um, and so I wanna sit inside. It is, this was a couple months ago, it was really hot. It was like 105 out.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Oh, when we have that like hot spell, that random like 105 like three days in a row randomly. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

It was that um weekend. And so I'm like, I want to in the it's really cool that restaurant, it's all glass, so you can still see outside. So he's not there, so I'm sitting inside and I'm like texting him, like, hey, I'm here. He's like, oh my god, I meant 515, like blah blah blah. And I'm just like, you sent me like four confirmation messages, and they all said five, but whatever. Um, and I'm like, I'm sitting inside because it's so hot. He's like, Oh, well, I actually wanted to sit on the patio. Okay, so I'm like, okay, well, you know, it's kind of shaded, so we'll go sit on the patio. So I move the table to the patio, and so I'm sitting on like it's like this planter that has a bench and then a table and then a chair. So like I'm on the bench side, and so I'm sitting so I can like see out. I'm sitting there and then he walks in, he motions to me with his hand, like, and is like I'm like, hi, I've never met this man before. I like he's like, I want to sit over there. Okay. I go, okay, and then when he says it, I'm like, hi, nice to meet you. Like, how are you? Also, he's holding a Lululemon belt bag, holding it. I'm like, okay. Again, I'm just like, okay, whatever, whatever. Like, it's 2026. Men can have purses if they want, I guess. So then we sit, it's like around a fire pit. So then it's like the couch side and then a chair. I'm a girl, I'm wearing a skirt, I'm gonna sit on the couch, obviously. And then he sits like right next to me. I don't like that. Like it's a first day. I don't know. You already made a weird gesture to me when you walked in. And so like the couch is pretty big, and he sits like really close to me. And so I'm wearing a little skirt. I look really cute. I I'm like I wasted a good outfit on him, but whatever, at least at least I know I looked really cute. And then he's like sitting close to me. And so I'm like annoyed, I'm hot, and I keep like going like this, you know, just turning and talking to him like that. Like my neck is like, you know, I'm trying to sit up straight and like I'm wearing a skirt. I'm not gonna like anyway. So I finally get through like my first glass of wine, and I have some like, you know, now I'm like annoyed a little bit. And then he like I could feel his arm like touching my back too a little bit. And so I get up and move. I get up and I move to the other chair. I'm like, I don't feel comfortable sitting next to you. Like, I don't like to like look like at you like this. It's like, well, all you have to do is like sit like this. Oh god. I'm like, I'm wearing a little skirt and I don't I don't like sitting next to you. I want to look at you. Like, I don't know you're like, wow, it's like a job interview, like blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Also, did he explain to you why he wanted to sit on that side of the table? No. Because because this is my thing with sitting. I feel like it, but if it's a if it's conversation, I feel like the guy should always have the chair if it's a booth on one side and a chair on the other side. Like the woman sits on the not chair side, unless it's a back to the door situation. Because I also don't think that the man's back should be to the door because he's supposed to be the one that's like the protector. The protector, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

But he didn't he didn't say. Oh no, no, not no, like I Explanation. And like, don't get me wrong, I like sitting on the same side of the booth if it's like a guy I've been seeing.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Well, yes, I wouldn't want to sit on the same side as someone for a first date that I've never met before.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Well, not in the beginning, too, not with like no drink in me or anything. And like Yeah. So yeah. And then he's like, I don't know. His like stories were weird too. He was like, he had just moved from San Diego. And I'm like, why? Why? It's about to be the hot summer. Like, why'd you move from San Diego? He's like, I don't know. It just like felt like the community that I built there was just like not like nothing was helping me stay. And I'm like, okay. Weird. I'm like, I'm like, I love San Diego. I I would totally live there over Scottsville if I could. He's like, yeah, well, I just like kind of went to all the beaches and like went to all the coffee shops there. So like I don't, I just felt like I did everything. Wow. I'm like, so I'm just like annoyed. I'm like, whatever. So we have I have two glasses of wine there, thankfully. And he only had one. And then he's like, okay, let's go to Buck and Rider. And so I'm like, okay, let's go. And so I'm waiting and I get I drive with him in his car there. Cause I didn't want to drive all the Buck and Rider was far. And so then I get in his car, and then I'm like sitting like this the whole time in the car. And I don't really even realize that I'm sitting like that the whole time. And this is kind of when we're also I'm still questioning him about San Diego. I'm like, that doesn't make any sense. Like, I don't know. This like I don't I just felt like he was kind of guy like embellishes, and I was just not really, I could feel it in my gut. He didn't like do anything like super wrong or like weird. I just like didn't like it. I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Except you got in a car with him. I know.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

I was like, no, in the in the car, I am like fuck.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

What was I thinking? What was I right? Yeah, that was the bad choice.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

A couple glasses of wine on judgment is well, okay. Also, he was taking me to Buck and Rider. So I can't pass a buck and rider.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Well, and you know that it's valet. Were you going to the Arcadia one? Yeah. Because it's like it's valet only. Like, and what a pain if you take two separate cars, because then you both have to vote valet separately. Like it's it, it is more convenient to be in the same car if you're going to Buck and Rider as a like a group or a couple. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. But yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

Like, why did I go with him? But I was really starting to feel it in the car. And then he like put his hand on my leg in the car. Yeah. And I'm like, you're like, but my body language is telling you, do not do that with your arms. He kept being like, are you cold? Are you cold? And I'm like, no, it's 105 degrees out. I'm not cold.

unknown 24:33

Cold.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

It's awesome for him to touch you in the car that way when he touched you at the restaurant and you clearly were uncomfortable with that because I moved. The fact that he did it again.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

Yeah, okay, so you're catching on. So then um we go to Buck and Rider. It's 7 p.m. on a Saturday. And no reservations? He drives up. He goes, Wow, that's a really long line. I'm like, yeah. Again, it's Saturday at 7 p.m. at Buck and Rider. You don't have a reservation. He's like, oh no. Oh. I'm like, this guy. I'm like, well, if you would have told me that, I would have told you not to go here because Fail. What's wrong with you? You can't even sit at the bar without a reservation at Buck and Rider on any night of the week at 7 p.m. I'm so annoyed. I'm so annoyed. And so I'm like, I need to go pee. So I get out and I go pee. He's like, okay, I'll go like deal with Velt. I'm like, whatever. I'm like, we're not getting in the hours. Oh, it's gonna be two hour wait. I'm in the car texting my friend. I'm like, hey, can you like call me and say that my dog is like something's wrong with Max? And like, my poor dog, like being a scapegoat. And then I'm like, but then he might offer to drive me home and like I don't want to spend another second with this person. So I'm in the bathroom and I text him, hey, I actually ran into some friends here. I'm gonna stay. Thanks. So and I just left. And then I watched him drive off. But I did accidentally text him and I was meant to be texting my friend. Oh no. And I said, lol, he drove off.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

That is my like worst night. I've done that before.

SPEAKER_03 25:53

I unsent it, but he like saw it right away. And he's like, What, you change your mind? And I didn't respond. He's like, I'd love to be friends and build a community here and like all this weird. He said that to you? Yeah, over text. I didn't even go look at him. So so I'm so happy I did this. That was the first time I've ever. And then I Ubered home and then it was over. But I am so happy I did this because now I'm like, wheels are turning. So when I got to the first restaurant, I asked for the name and they only gave me a or they gave me his name and then his last name was John. And I'm like, that's giving like John Doe. Mm-hmm. What and I didn't, I just like filed it away. I'm like, okay, weird. That's I don't think that's the last name. He was like Polynesian too. So I'm like, hmm. And so then I reverse search his phone number and there's nothing there. Okay. It's like doesn't show up with any results. So I'm like, okay. Then he was talking about how he like lived in Australia and Thailand and Japan and all these places, but his Instagram only goes back to January from when he was in San Diego. And I'm like, this kind of person would like, if it's this kind of person, he would like definitely have it posted that he was in Thailand and bragging and like because that's kind of energy he was giving. And there was no last name on um his Instagram. So now I'm like starting to get weird because I already had a weird inkling, and then I'm like, all right, something's not right. So I never I really don't ever do this, but I looked on Are We Dating the Same Guy, Scottsdale, like the Facebook page. I searched his name. He's on there three different times.

unknown 27:22

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

And he's only been here since January. And so one of the posts had like 20 comments on it, and they're like, he was super aggressive. I told him that I wasn't interested in anything physical, and he shoved his hands down my pants and like forced himself on me. And everyone else said same, same, same. Like 17 other girls said same. And then there's two other posts from him, and he's only been here at this point, he's only been here for three months. Wow, that's crazy. Now we know why he left San Diego. Right. Yeah. Yeah. If only I was on that, are we doing the same page? So trust your instincts.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

So he's gonna be leaving Scottsdale pretty quick once he gets his reputation.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Probably. The unfortunate thing about those pages is I think a lot of them are on hold right now because they have so many lawsuits against them from men from men like that who are mad that they're getting called out and they're being defamed and they're being, you know what I mean? Like their names are being tarnished.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Yeah, I never really look at them because I don't want to go into a date like with that kind of mindset either. That already just like assuming they're a liar and that they're a bad person.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Like when he sent you that questionnaire, my mind initially, when it says, Are you allergic to anything? My mind would have gone to, oh my god, he's gonna find out what I'm allergic to and he's planning on poisoning me. Or that's where my mind would have gone.

SPEAKER_03 28:37

If I was like deathly allergic to something, I probably would have been kind of sketched out about that, but I'm not so weird.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Yeah, it's that's a weird thing to do, though, to send a survey to someone to all those random questions like that. In hindsight, it's definitely really weird, but because he clearly doesn't have intentions on having a serious relationship.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

Or he's just like trying to play you to like make you think that make you yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Are you ready for it? I'm ready

Unmatched After A Great Date

SPEAKER_02 29:06

for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your relationship. So we have listener question. Okay. Last Sunday, I, 27-year-old male, matched with this girl, she's 25, on hinge. The vibes felt good. And by Monday, the next day, I asked her out to meet at a bowling alley yesterday, which was Friday. Despite some bad weather, we both made it, played the entire hour of bowling with some good banter, in my opinion, then talked for an hour at the bar over a drink. I walked her outside and we gave each other a side hug before going home. I messaged her when I got home to make sure she did as well and let her know that I had a great time and would like to see her again. She responded that she made it home and hearted my message about meeting up again. Knowing that we were both a little busy today, which is Saturday, so the next day, and kind of adhering to that dumb don't over text rule, I didn't message today and have found, have now found that we're unmatched, either by her deleting the account or unmatching. This was my first real date in years, and I thought we had a good time together. I guess I'm venting more than anything, but discovering the unmatched just hurt more than it probably should. He said, Unfortunately, I didn't get her number to text, and with Hinge, it removes the conversation if either person unmatches or deletes their profile.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Aw. That's gonna happen in dating, right? Yes. Yeah, I think with the unmatching like aspect, I think don't think too much into it. And you should have got her phone number. Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Yes, I think that's the advice is that once you have a date planned, move it off the app and like totally or text.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

On the date, be like, oh my god, I don't have your phone number. Let me let me grab it. Yeah. Or like, let me grab your Instagram, or I don't know. I sometimes I think guys too are like, wow, I can't believe you just gave me your number right away. I'm like, I don't care. Like, it's my phone number. It's I can block you.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

And it's not like it, it's not like it's your address or something. It's not like not everyone, everyone has access to your phone number. Like there have been so many security breaches, and like pe like scammers and you know, telemarketers. Like everybody has like what what is what is someone gonna do with your phone number?

SPEAKER_03 31:37

Yeah, yeah, definitely get phone numbers next time for sure. That's sad.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Agreed.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

But keep trying. I this guy does seem unseasoned though, because I feel like that happens very often in dating, right? Yeah, so I'm sure it's gonna happen again. But I would hate not having that closure. Like, what did I do? Like not being told like why they blocked me.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Also, to I feel like she unmatched because he didn't text her on Saturday, because he didn't message her the next day.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

Yeah, I think people need to not, they need to stop like thinking too much caring so much about like the double texting and the it's such bullshit. It's like if they don't like me, if they don't like me because I texted them three times, then there's obviously something wrong with them because that's not that's weird to like not like someone else.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

Also the expectation of we went on one date and now I expect him to text me every day. Yeah, yeah, and it's like the expectation of the access, like daily is just like it's a balance.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

I think you need to like kind of always just like put yourself first. Like I'm busy, like I don't I don't want to be texting someone all day, every day, because I don't care. Like, I'm we'll talk when I see you in person. Like, make texting should be like making plans always like making plans when am I gonna see you again? Like, keep texting like that. And I then I think it helps with the mindset of like you don't need to, I don't want to say good morning and good night. Like, yeah, I guess if I'm like super infatuated and like that's kind of the vibe, but that can also like lead to love bombing too. So I think keeping texting as like making plans, and if you want to chat with me, call me. Yeah, you know?

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Yeah. I do feel like she must not have liked him that much because if she did, she wouldn't have blocked him. She would have been like, oh, I really like him. I wish she would have texted me, but she would have waited. I think so too. Yeah, I think so too.

Long Distance Rules And End Dates

SPEAKER_01 33:24

So one of the top Google questions in relationships is how to make long distance relationships work. What would your advice would be how to make them work? Really?

SPEAKER_03 33:33

Are you against them? 100%. I'm not, I mean, I guess there's different circumstances if um you're you've been dating someone for a while and then they need to go somewhere for like a year. I guess like it just depends how much you like the person. But for me, at being 29, like I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. And I just think they're like really hard. I think they work and they can work for people, but for me, that's like not what I need out of a relationship. I don't want a pen pal. I want someone to cook dinner with me and go get a drink with me. Like, I don't, I don't know. I just it's never something I would sign up for willingly on the on the onset.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

So one thing it says here is to make it work, you have to have an end date or an end gate.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

I was just gonna say that because I like a long distance relationship, but there has to be an end date, and you always have to have the next seeing, like the next time you're gonna see each other. You always have to have the next time you're gonna see each other. 100% like scheduled before you leave each other.

SPEAKER_03 34:31

I think that I've like been there's been like months where I've been like dating someone and they weren't in town, and that's exactly I needed that for like my mental health to be like I need a plan, or like I can't live in this limbo of like I don't know when I'm gonna see you. It needs to be like, okay, once a month or whatever the deal is, then yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Yeah, it says here communicate often, FaceTime date nights, keep in contact often with text calls, letters. I used to I had a long distance relationship and I would send packages and you know, letters. Um, trust, keep your jealousy under control, have an end date, plan weekend trips, visits, always have something planned where you're gonna see them next. Definitely. And maintain your own life. Yeah. I think that's important too. Totally. So we're gonna discuss these.

Trans Dating Preferences And Racism Debate

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Have you seen these TikTok videos that have been circulating where people are basically saying that if you're against dating someone who is transgender, that's the exact same as being racist. Have you seen these? I haven't. It basically calls people that if you're not interested in someone who's transgender, you're just as bad as a racist. It's like a viral trend that's going on now. And they argue that both exclusions are rooted in harmful stereotypes rather than genuine innate attraction. It's a heavily debated topic across social media now. Proponents of this view argue that writing off an entire group of people, whether based on race or transgender identity, is rarely a biologically neutral preference. The argument claims that excluding all trans people often reduces individuals solely to their gender history or genitals, ignoring their diverse personalities, body types, and individual traits. People say both sex is sexual racism and anti-trans dating preferences are viewed as prejudice because they treat an entire demographic as inherently undesirable based on stigma rather than seeing them as individuals. And then opponents argue that romantic attraction cannot be forced, and that comparing dating preferences to systematic racism racism is a false equivalency. This viewpoint stresses that everyone is entitled to choose who they are intimate with and what they are comfortable with. It distinguishes between having a preference for specific biological traits or anatomy and holding hatred for bigotry towards a group. For many, sexual orientation dictates a strong preference for specific physical characteristics and physiological traits. In this view, sexual attraction to specific biological sexes is a fundamental part of a person's identity and can and cannot be equated to racial discrimination.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Yeah, I think I agree with that. I think racial, like being like systemic racism, that's like a huge thing in like public health. It's like we are on and that's kind of you know why public health is so important is because it's a lot of things are just embedded in our society and it's and just like that, like that's just how maybe not so much for our generation because but definitely for my parents or you know, boomers, you know, it's it's been different. And I think even with you know, queer people and trans people, it's also been a new thing as well, like being so open about it and being, I don't know, I I feel like I have an issue with that being compared to. I do too, racist.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Can you not have preferences on who you want your life partner to be without being racist?

SPEAKER_01 37:34

I was gonna say, we have people in here that only date blondes. So is that the same as being racist? Or they only date, they only like Latinos. Is that the same as being racist?

SPEAKER_03 37:41

I don't think so at all. I think it's you like what you like, and I think that's nothing wrong with that. I think there's somebody for everybody. Exactly. You know, like that's I mean, I definitely see uh transgender males on um TikTok and they're hot. Like I'm like, wow, that's amazing. Like I've I've and maybe I've met them, maybe I haven't, because you know, I know people don't wear like a sign that says that they are that. And you know, I would have to cross that bridge when I get there if that's something that you know I met someone that was and they like revealed that to me. I would have just have to see how I felt. I don't know. I've never been. And I don't think a lot of people are have been in those situations either. So it's hard to even like say.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Celebrity Cut Matthew Perry Sentencing

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Now it's time for the celebrity cut. Will we marinate in the juices of the celebrities? So I have a question. I'm sure you've seen in the news Matthew Perry, um, the gentle his assistant who injected him with the ketamine and then left to run errands. Why would you do that and leave him in the hot tub? But he was recently sentenced and got three years in prison. Okay. And Matthew Perry's parents were there and it was a man. Yes. But then you saw that the ketamine dealer got sentenced previously, and she was given 15 years. That's such a difference. So she sold the ketamine, she gets 15 years. He injected the ketamine and gets three years. I know nothing about the law. Like, why who dosed it though? Oh, I I assume the assistant, right? Who injected it? Oh, and Matthew Perry did say, and I quote, hit me up with a strong one.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

Was it legal? I I don't know enough about the story. Was he taking ketamine medically as like a leak as like a prescribed drug, or was he abusing it as abusing an illegal drug?

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Well, if he was getting it from a dealer, then he was definitely not doing it under the guise of like medical guidance because when you do ketamine, I like know some like in like podcast people that I've like follow that have done therapeutic ketamine and you like go into a doctor's office.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Yes, but that's what I'm saying. Like, why was someone injecting it for him? He was abusing it. That makes it seem like it was for medical, like it was prescribed if he had someone injecting it into him.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

But if it was prescribed, then she wouldn't have gotten 15 years, right? If she was prescribing it to him, not if she prescribed it.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

Over if she over-prescribed it, yeah. But then she would she wouldn't be referred to as a dealer. Yeah, was she a doctor or was she a drug dealer? I don't know. I'm pretty sure she was a dealer because she has some nickname.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

I forget the nickname, but it's like the K dealer. She's probably selling people a lot of drugs.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I need to, I feel like I need to know how to do it. Well, I think it's pretty fair.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

I feel like if you're a drug dealer, like that's illegal, and poor Matthew Perry's assistant just kind of did what he was being told.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

And that was kind of the what I was trying to say. Like if the inject the inject if the injector was being instructed to inject a certain dosage, it's whoever ordered that dose. That's true. That's the responsibility of the doctor who ordered the dose, not necessarily like the nurse or the injector that was yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

But then why would you inject him with ketamine, a big one, and then go and leave go and run.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

But maybe he was traumatized. Like, what if, like, we don't know the situation if he was like forced to do it. Yeah. Stevie if the assistant did it without him knowing and then left. Like, that's definitely a crime. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

I mean, all these people, man. I mean, look at Michael Jackson told the doctor to inject him with what he called milk. Remember, he called his sleeping aids milk. And the doctor injected him and then he passed away. Like, dang, it's crazy.

Rapid Fire Red Flags And Wrap

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Now it's time to get to know you with Zoyo, sponsored by Zoeya, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions. Okay. Are these red flags or no? Spills makes you split the bill on the first date. Red flag. Still follows their ex on Instagram. Yellow flag. Bad tipper. Uh red flag. Has no social media. Uh green flag. Where should someone not take you on a first date?

SPEAKER_03 41:29

Um the bowling alley. Yeah, bowling.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Yeah. Is watching porn considered cheating? No. Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with? Inappropriate. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date? Yeah. Do you have a specific talent that not many people know about, or a unique fact that not many people know?

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Um I go salmon fishing in the summer with my sister in Alaska. Oh, how fun. It's not really that, it's not really that um hidden, but I love doing that.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

In one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_03 42:01

You know, I'm confident, I'm funny, I have a very like well-rounded life, and I love my life, and I just kind of want someone to share it with.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why? Ooh, hmm, probably doggy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

Because it's fun. We get that a lot. That's the number one answer. And it's not a lot of work for me.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Well, thank you for joining us this week at the Meat Market. And thank you, Celine. If you want to snag a date with Celine, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thanks to our sponsor, Tactical Tech Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your wallet where it belongs, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market. Oh my God, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.