TINDER VS RUN CLUB: WHICH ONE WILL GET YOU BETTER DATES?🤔

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Welcome to the meat market. The single scene is the slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it. We are your hosts. I'm Lindsay. I'm Jess. And today's sizzling single is Martin. Is that how you pronounce it? Yes, exactly. Thank you. Like the drink.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

So minus the last eye.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Are you where are you from?

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Um I am actually from Arizona, but like my family lineage is Mexico.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Oh, nice. Where in Mexico?

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Um, Mexico City and Yucatán.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

I love Mexico City. My parents used to live in DFA. Uh Palanco.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

One of my favorite cities in the world. Good feed.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Oh, I can't wait to go back.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Do you have still a family there?

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yeah, yeah, we still have family there. I haven't been as frequently as I would like to have been over the last few years, but uh when I was younger, like 10-15 years ago, I would just go back. We go back like every year, multiple times a year.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Did you grow up mainly here? Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah, I grew up mainly here. Um, moved around a little bit, lived in Colorado, but COVID kind of shut everything down that I wanted to do, so I ended up coming back here.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Have you dated in Mexico? Is it different?

SPEAKER_00 1:08

No, I would love to, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

The women are beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah, yeah, they are. And so um maybe one day, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Have how do you think the dating is different in Arizona versus other states?

SPEAKER_00 1:18

You know, I uh I actually was on a break when I was living in Denver, but I feel like here it's uh you're getting a lot of the same type of communities, and so you get a lot of the same type of like uh not cookie cutter, but uh you get a lot of the same mindsets, and I feel like that that makes it kind of challenging, but also social media makes it kind of challenging to be able to do that because then you hear all these things, and then people think that like, oh, as you should, and it just makes it a little hard, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

I hear Denver, a lot of women call it Menver because the men are supposed to be hot, is that true?

SPEAKER_02 1:50

And like outdoorsy, yeah. I'm not sure. I don't know. I've never dated there, I've never lived there. No, but I've heard the same thing, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

So you like to run and you're training for a marathon. Are you crazy?

SPEAKER_02 2:02

I don't understand how people run. I hate running. That's funny. I just signed up for a half last week.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Oh, I'm that's so exciting. Which one are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 2:10

The La Jolla half in it's in May.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

So I have a full year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

How many miles is that? The half 13. Oh, dang. Yeah. And what what are you training for?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

I'm training for Chicago marathon.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

And how long is that?

SPEAKER_00 2:21

26.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Oh, dang.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Yeah, yeah. I'm excited for that.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

How long does that take to run typically?

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Uh my last one I did took um three hours, 45 minutes. So, you know, give or take four hours. I'm trying to do 330 in Chicago.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

So are you trying to qualify? Have you ever ran like the Boston or the New York?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I would love to. New York, I would love to do. Um, Boston, I don't know if I would ever qualify for it. That time is like 250, I think, for men in my age group.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

So, do you want an insider secret? Tell me. So the Las Vegas marathon is one of the easiest qualifying marathons because it starts high and ends low.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

It's it's downhill.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Yes, it's downhill most of the way. So my brother-in-law, my sister's husband, his brother had it like on his bucket list to run. Yeah, I can't remember if it was the Boston or the New York, one of one of the two, and wanted to qualify. Literally researched which marathon is the highest percentage of qualifying marathon. So he and his wife and my sister and brother-in-law ran the Vegas marathon, and we all went and watched. And my brother-in-law's brother ended up qualifying his qualifying titles. Literally, his first marathon, the only marathon he ever ran, and ended up qualifying.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

That is achievement right there.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Yeah. Yeah. Dang. Yeah. So look into it. Look into the Vegas marathon.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Yeah, Vegas is good. I so Chicago, it's a world major, so you could qualify for it, but I'm actually running it for charity. So I was a guaranteed, guaranteed entry to go into it. So I get to run for charity, and you know, what better feeling than that?

SPEAKER_01 3:52

So you're big into fitness. I see that you work out even at the office.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Yeah. Yep. Right before or right after or both. Um, it's hot here in Arizona during the summer, so I have to get up early, like 4 a.m., just to go for a long run and then go to work and then head to the gym after.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

You are committed. Damn.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

It's uh it's a long training journey, so I gotta just follow a plan.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

What do you do for a living?

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Um, I work in sales. I do a few different things. Um I work in sales, I do calisthenics coaching, um, but I also help market and distribute apps that people develop.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

And have you been on many, where do you live in town? You in Scotts?

SPEAKER_00 4:28

I'm in Tempi.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Tempe, okay. How do you find the girls here?

SPEAKER_00 4:31

You know, it's interesting. Um, I'm not on any apps. I took a break from that, and I just felt like being organic was the best way to do it. Um, I also wasn't having any success on the apps, so it was just, I just need to get rid of it. Um and I I always think that I can meet somebody who I'm actually interested in at a place that I want to be at, you know, if there's a common interest. And I found most of the time that's easy to find, but that doesn't always mean that you're gonna meet your match. Doesn't always mean that it's gonna be a compatible match. You might have chemistry, but it's not compatibility per se. Um, so it's interesting. I've dated people from like my run clubs, from the gym to my neighbor to somebody who lived across the street. Yeah, it's it's um it's definitely been interesting of how it's come about.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Did you do high rocks?

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Have you gotten into high rocks at all? I I don't have an interest really to do a high rocks.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

Like the all the I'm just all the reels. It's this, it's Australian, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Yeah, it's sort of like fitness challenge where they row and they ski and they run and they do these weightlifting timed things. And there was all these reels. It was in Arizona maybe like four months ago, three months ago-ish. And there was all these reels of these girls that were going because the guys that do it traditionally are very good looking. They're fit, they're good-looking Aussie guys. You know what I mean? Just very good-looking. And so the girls would be like, I'm at High Rocks to watch my husband perform. I'm not sure which one he is yet, but I know he's in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

So maybe I should sign up because then maybe I'll be able to find.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Because yeah, like I send the reel to my girlfriend who her and I trained together in the mornings, and I'm like, okay, we're going to Hyrux next year.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

We're going to watch.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

That's how many we should go there, and there's like a hundred thousand women. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Just watching. Just watching. Yeah. They should do like a like a randomized pairing. They should like a mess.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

We should do a matchmaking event. We should pair with high rocks and do a matchmaking event there next year. You know what? Like a blind.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

A blind pairing or something. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Genius. Yes. That's what we should do. I think so too. I think so too. Hyrux. Call us.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

So, do you require your woman to be just as athletic as you are?

SPEAKER_00 6:44

You know, I think after my last relationship, I definitely want them to be fit or healthy or have a healthy fitness habit in some way. Um, because I think that transfers into everything else. Like it shows discipline and it shows that they care about something, you know, within themselves to develop more. Um, I've dated somebody who didn't work out at all, and it was so frustrating because they would love to sleep in, they would love to, you know, just eat sugar and trash and whatever. And then that affected me. And I was sleeping in, I was skipping workouts, I was gaining weight, and I realized I I this isn't the lifestyle that I want to be living.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

So even if she was thin and petite and just had a great metabolism, so she didn't need to work out, but just the fact that she's actually not waking up and going to the gym, that would still affect you.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

I think it's the habits for sure. Yeah, the habits I think have been more important to me because then you too can build and maybe maybe it's not necessarily wake up and go work out, but wake up and work on something within herself. So at least we're both aligned on like lifestyle kind of habits.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Because just if you're thin and petite and have a high metabolism doesn't mean you're healthy.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

No, I know. I'm just saying it's it's not so much that they're the look, the look, it's not the look, it's more of the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

It's the lifestyle, that's what I was getting at. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Yeah. That transfers into everything else too. Because then if they're lazy, then like they're not gonna be striving for more and trying to achieve more. And I want to be able to feed off of that, but also like inspire somebody to do that themselves.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

It always surprises me so much when I meet someone or see someone who looks so beautiful in real life, or is like what you say is like thin and petite and beautiful and put together, and then you go to their house and it's like a pig sty, or you can tell that they're just a lazy person, or they eat like trash, and it's just like, how is how does what you look like on the outside not match the lifestyle that you're living on the inside?

SPEAKER_01 8:34

But I thought it's gonna catch up to them because when you're young, your metabolism's a lot better, right? And then we as you get older, I feel like it might catch up to them.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Yeah, because the body's gonna change, but their lifestyle won't. Yeah, exactly. And I dated somebody who I was like, wow, they're amazing. This was years ago, but um, the first time I went over there, I could not even see their carpet because they were close everywhere, trash everywhere, like water bottles. And I was like, Oh, I can't, I cannot go into this lifestyle. Like, this is not meant for me.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

And if you know someone's coming over, you don't have the like you don't even have the sense to pick up after yourself a little bit. Yeah, it's like I would be so embarrassed inviting someone into my home, knowing that you can't see the floor because there's so much stuff everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Yeah, I could understand, like, okay, a pile of mail or something that you forgot to pick up, sure, whatever. But it was just like, this is like hoarder level status. And I'm like, I don't understand how you can live like this, but also invite me over and want me over here to see this.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yeah. Wow, talk about not making an effort at all guests over.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

For real. That one didn't last long.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

So, what is your type physically?

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Physically, um, I'd say definitely shorter than me, you know. I I do prefer somebody who has ethnicity in their background, um, culture. Culture is very big important to me. You know, like I said, I'm Hispanic, so I want somebody to be able to match that in some way or at least understand it because there's some things within my culture that I have to prime a partner if they're gonna come and meet my family, you know, like make sure you say hi to everybody directly. You give grandma a hug, you give grandpa a hug, you know. Like a lot of people may not realize that if they're not in the culture or have an understanding of that. So I'd want somebody who's maybe a little bit darker, but more athletic too. Um and I also like like I'm fit, I'm I'm strong. So like I want to be able to like be able to carry somebody around, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

How old are you?

SPEAKER_00 10:25

I'm 26.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Okay. Are you looking to get married and have kids eventually?

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Kids, if it lines up right. I'm I'm a little indifferent. If it happens, great. If not, then that's the way that my life was meant to be. But ultimately, I do want to be a husband to someone.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Nice. Yeah. Um have you had any crazy first dates?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

First dates. Um, I had somebody crash out on me because I didn't want to meet their parents when I dropped them off at home. They were still living with their parents. And the date, well, it actually started terribly because she was 45 minutes late telling me that she would be 10 minutes late after five minutes that I had been at the spot that we were meeting at. Wow. So excuse for being late. Uh I'm running late. I'll be there, I'll be there in a few minutes. She didn't really give me an excuse. And and so I was like, red flag, but also was it worth it?

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Was she the most beautiful girl you'd ever seen?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

It was like I this was the only date we we went on, and I'm surprised honestly at myself for letting it go as long as it did. But the fact that it did, and then I took her home because she had Ubered there, didn't even tell me. Had I known, I would have offered to pick her up. And I ended up taking her home, and she wanted me to come inside, and I knew she lived with her parents, and I was like, There's nothing wrong with that. You gotta do what you gotta do. But I was like, I don't feel comfortable. And she on a first date. And I was like, I I don't think that that's appropriate, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Um how old was she?

SPEAKER_00 11:52

This was she was 22, I think, okay, at the time. And I I had told her no, and she was like, You're not even gonna give this a chance, you have no idea what it's gonna be like, like what? And then started just going in and cursing at me, like pointing the finger. And I'm like, how do I get this girl out of my car? This is our first date, and I'm like, I I wanna go to bed, I want to go home. This was not an enjoyable time. Like, can you just get out of my car? I let her just like blow down the steam and just let it let her get whatever she had to get out. And then when she finally did, I was like, All right, I think it's time that this just ends where it's at. And she was like, Are you serious? And and just tried to like ignite it again. And I was like, No, I'm not gonna let like this is over with, just please.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Had you talked a lot before the date, like texted, like did she feel like it was a stronger connection, maybe?

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Potentially, but for me, I'm the type that I don't want to text a lot to get to know somebody. You know, it's like, like I said, if you meet somebody and there's organic chemistry there, then you kind of already have an inkling of knowing, all right, we can bear a date together. But texting, things get lost in translation. You know, people are awkward over text. I'm awkward over text, things don't land.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

How was the date itself?

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Um, so we went to go play darts, I think, at like a dive bar, just something like low-key and chill, and just like we wanted to something, just like get to know each other, still talk. Um, but she tried ordering this, like, I don't remember what it was, some cocktail. And we were at a dive bar. I was like, just order, just order a beer. Yeah, it was it was something like that.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Something blended.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Yeah, something blended or like an espresso martini or something.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

I'll have a glass of Victory. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

And the bartender's like, what? What beer do you want?

SPEAKER_01 13:41

That is hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Yeah. And I think that was actually a date that came from an app. And I was that was probably one of the first things to set me off of no more apps.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

I just don't see a world that meeting the parents on a first date is ever an appropriate thing to do or to become upset about if the person doesn't want to.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Yeah. To get upset about it and to wave their finger.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

So just not take a no, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Was she Latina? Because I'm Latina's gonna be fiery and uh Yeah, she was.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

She was.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

So I had hope at the beginning because I was like, oh wow, okay, great, Latina. And then I learned real quick.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Did she try to see you again after that?

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Um, she texted me, but I told her I was done and that I didn't want to pursue anything any further.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

So that's great that you were honest.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yes, yeah, I I appreciate honesty, so I I give it back.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

You know what's funny? Speaking of the cocktail of the diver, I remember I was at Saddle Ranch. Remember Saddle Ranch? And I was drinking a glass of white wine, and a guy that I was like eyeing that I thought was super cute because he was tall, tall glass of water. Um, he comes up to me and he said, I've been warned about women like you, women that drink a drink wine in an establishment like this. I'm like, Oh my god, what's wrong with wine at Saddle Ranch, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:58

I mean, the only thing that's wrong with it is if when they go to get the bottle, if it's already been opened and it still has dust on it, you know the wine's probably gonna be vinegary. Like you want to just make sure that it's a fresh bottle and it hasn't been sitting there opened for three weeks.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

But but like he was judging me for ordering wine. Yeah, like at a saddle ranch. But a saddle ranch isn't really a dive. There's one in LA. It was kind of like a fancy, like it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

It was divey.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

I kind of thought that was douchey of him to say.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Like you can think that, but to that's your first words to an extreme judgment to make off of a first impression.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

If you would have been at TT's Roadhouse, it would have been one thing. But I feel like Saddle Ranch, come on.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah, and like why would he go out of his way to come up? Is that was that his way of hitting on it? You know, there are some people that like to degrade someone, but it makes them feel good, putting other people down, and that's their way of I don't know, remember.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

They like flirt through bullying.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Yeah, like in elementary school when they said, like, oh, if a boy's mean to you, it's because he likes you. Yeah, maybe it was that.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Yeah. What is your longest relationship?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

My longest relationship was uh two and a half years, just about, yeah. And that one was was chaotic. Um, so my ex, um, that one ended because I found out that she was a prostitute.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

What? What?

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Yeah, so my ex was a prostitute.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Um like a 19,000 Van Buren prostitute or like uh or like a high-end escort. It's so fly me out, daddy prostitute.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

I I I think I don't know. There's there's an I guess like prostitution has become digitized because you can like go on a website and basically order somebody. And I had found out that that's what she was doing. And so that's what I was like figuring out why she wouldn't answer for like three, four hours at a time. And I had this like inkling in the back of my mind of something's not right anymore, something's going on. You know, you feel when somebody pulls back, and especially after getting to know somebody for, you know, a significant amount of time, you know their their body language and their their behavior. And so I noticed it and I was like, something's going on, something's not right. And it came down to where I was like, you know, I appreciate honesty. And if I don't get it back, some I'm gonna know. Your intuition is always right, always. And so I had asked her, I was like, is there anything going on that I need to know that I should be aware about that you're keeping from me? And she told me no. And you know, I'm the type where I'm like, if I ask for reassurance or you ask for reassurance, there should be no problem of that given, you know, within within reason. And I had just felt like there's there's not that it's not right. Something's not right. Um and so I ended up peeking at her phone and found everything out, found all the receipts, the messages, the and there was there was an instance I knew too because I was uh driving with her and I I remember she went on her phone and uh before she started writing out a message to someone, she lowered the brightness all the way down. And I was like, and it it was a random number, it wasn't saved, and so I was like, I caught that like out of the peripheral and I knew something was up. And so that was like the first sign, and then everything else started cascading down after that.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

So did she start while you were together or was she doing that previously?

SPEAKER_00 18:08

She had I found out that she had done it previously. Wow, and it was apparently something I I don't really know, I didn't care to find out, but she had been doing it for years before, and then carried that into the relationship.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

And she was actually meeting these men in person, it wasn't just online, like selling photos, selling videos, hotels, it was yeah, hotels, cars, parking lots.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Crazy.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

I have issues with that because that's putting you at risk for sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

That's what I said for sure. For real.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

I was like, that's my health at risk now.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Yeah, like you're basically sleeping with whoever she's sleeping with, you know, and who knows if she's protecting herself.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Who knows? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

So did she try to beg you back?

SPEAKER_00 18:51

She did. Um, and she told me, uh, at least I made him wear a condom. And I was like, yeah, because that makes it better. Like, no. Um, so yeah, she did. She she she tried to like, and I think it's the guilt, right? You you get caught doing something, you want to repair it immediately. So, like, psychologically I understand what her response was, but I was like, no, that's not okay. You know, that's that's definitely.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

Well, and it's like clearly there are much deeper issues because why when you're in a relationship that's a quote unquote healthy relationship, or what for what you thought was a healthy relationship, like you thought you guys had a good relationship. Yeah, why then do you feel like you need to sell your body on the side? Exactly. What's going on in the mental health space? Yeah, did she offer to quit for you?

SPEAKER_00 19:37

She uh well, yeah, she said, you know, I I'm done, I'll I'll be done with this. And I was like, you should have done that before, like way before it should have never happened, you know. And if there's somebody out there where they had to that point, obviously, like you said, there's something else going on. But it should have been done for way before and definitely before the relationship.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Yeah. That's crazy. So I went on a date with this guy once. This was years ago, and we met um just for coffee. And there was something, there was something, I don't know, there was something off about him that I wasn't really I couldn't quite put my finger on it. And I didn't do my dil due diligence before the date, but then after the date, I put his phone number in like just like a Google search. And his phone number came up in some male escort sites. Like he was out online as a male escort. What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Wow, that's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

And what's funny is, what's funny is, so I remember showing my friend his picture on Instagram, right? And um, she was like, oh my God, he looks so yummy. Like he like his body, he had a really hot body. And I was like, I was like, yummy. I was like, he looks like I'm gonna need a shot of penicillin after whatever. And so we, you know, girls give guys nicknames. So his nickname when we would talk about him was Penny. So she'd be like, have you gone out on your first date with Penny yet? And I'm like, no, I haven't been on a date with him yet. And so I'm like, when you talk about intuition, I'm like, something in my brain already knew the kind of person that he was before I even knew what kind of person that he was. Yeah. Because when we ended up meeting for coffee in real life, I was like, no, there's something off about him. Like I could tell it from his pictures on Instagram. I could tell it when I met him in person. And then sure enough, when I went and Googled his phone number, there it was. It was like three different like male escort sites that his number was.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Did you approach him about it? No, I just because maybe he did that in his early years and he gave it up. No. No.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Even if that was the case, though, I think that it would be like a drink.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

It was a one and done. We never went out again. We never no. Had he not been in a male escort, would you have been interested? I don't think so. Oh, really? There was just some there was something off.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Your intuition just knows. It really does.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Yeah. Have you ever been catfished?

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Um no, I don't think I wouldn't say that I've ever been catfished. Cause like I said, most of the most of the dates that I do go on are organic now. Um there was one where it was in call like college years where I went out and she was a lot taller than she had looked. And so she was probably had like six inches on on me. Like she was like very tall. And so but I wouldn't consider that as catfish. Um because we were both on the same page about how that was gonna go. It was just like we're meeting up, we're we're we have a reason for this, and then that was it.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Have you walked out mid-date?

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Yes. Um, yes, I am nice, but I also there's a line. There's a line. And if you cross that line, like I respect myself more than to spend the rest of the night. And this was after the crash out in the car. So um, so I went out with this girl, and uh, this was also right after college, like just exploring around uh on the apps. And I think I met this girl on Hinge, and so I took her out just like she went, we wanted to go see like a sunset happy hour kind of kind of cool moment. And um she it was like early on in the day, we had like just ordered our drinks, like not even 10 minutes of sitting down. So we're talking about traveling, and she's like wanting to pull up somewhere she wanted to show me. And when she pulls up her phone, her wallpaper lights up, and it's her and a guy. And I caught that and she like kind of did the quick jerk to the side, and I was like, No, no, no, I saw that. Who was who is that? Like, what was that? Like, it was a wallpaper, the wallpaper, and it doesn't lie. So, um, and she tried to give me some excuse, like, oh, that's my cousin. Like, don't, and I was like, just be honest with me. Is there somebody that's waiting for you at home or thinks that you're out somewhere that you're actually not? And she was like, Yeah. And I called the bartender over and I was like, hey, like, cancel, cancel the drinks. Like, this is we're we're actually gonna uh dip out here. And so I got up and I was like, you should probably go figure that out and handle that yourself, but I'm gonna go and head home. Good for you. And then I just walked out.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

I feel like the phone shadiness is the number one indicator. Like, if they hide their phone, if they suddenly start putting their phone face down, if there's any sort of change in phone behavior, it's like guaranteed that something shady is going on.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

That's always the first sign.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

I think so. Always the first sign. I think it is. Yeah, I think it is.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

And it's like the jerking, the lowering the brightness, the phone on the face down. I'm also the type where I don't bring my phone out on a first date. You know, I want to get to know somebody and I'm gonna set some time apart to do so. Place and time. If we're talking about traveling and there's something I want to show you, of course, like I'll pull it out and I'll show you. But um, biggest pet peeve is when somebody's on their phone or pulls it out to like respond to something or check something that could wait.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Yes, I'm the same way. Yeah, for sure. Are you ready for it? I'm ready for it. The keep more minute, brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your relationship. So we have a listener question. How do I tell my partner that I feel like she's not taking care of her body? We are both 32 years old, have been together for a while, and I love her deeply. This is not coming from a place of judgment or superficiality, just something that I have never encountered before. Lately, I've noticed that she's been neglecting her physical health, not eating well, not getting enough sleep, and barely moving her body. And this is not the norm for her. She says she's just tired and stressed out. And while I understand that life can get overwhelming, I'm genuinely worried about her well-being. There haven't been any major life changes or events that I'm aware of. I have tried to encourage healthier habits subtly, like cooking better meals, suggesting walks, or changes to the skincare routine, but I don't think it's landing. I don't want to sound controlling, harmful, or like I'm trying to fix her. I just want her to feel better, have more energy, and take care of herself the way she deserves and always has done. I'm of the opinion that it is a responsibility to look good for your partner. Any advice on how to bring this up without sounding like an ass? Have any of you been on the receiving end of a similar conversation that was done well?

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Initially, I would say, but it sounds like he's already tried that to be like, let's go to the gym together, let's go for a hike, let's go for a walk, let's cook a healthy meal together, kind of bring it in together so you're doing it together. But it sounds like he's tried that, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

I think that because this isn't the norm for her, that there could be something else going on. It could be stress, so it could be temporary. But if you really break it down from sleep, fitness, nutrition, maybe focusing on one for the week, like, hey, this week, baby, I would love that we cooked a meal at home every day and see if you can withhold that habit. And then the next week, hey, I think we should start going to the gym together and like kind of breaking it down, not trying to attack everything all at once. Um but it is tough because you don't want to come across as controlling or saying, hey, I don't think you're what you used to be. And um, I think that that's a tough situation to be in for sure.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

That was really good advice. Yeah, it was, but also to is it something deeper and are is like cooking at home and going to the gym together, if it's something that is like mental health or hormonal. It could be perimenopause. It could well, they're only 32. Well, you know, I guess it still could be. But it's like if there's something health-wise going on where it's like depression, maybe that she's not wanting to talk about, yeah, or something else. It's like, how do you broach that without further sending her into a spiral?

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Make it sound like you're concerned, you're worried. I'm really worried about worried about you. Maybe you should get your blood checked. Yeah. You could get your blood checked for hormones to see if it's, you know, the process of elimination help. Yeah, exactly. Try to figure out what it is together, figure it out together.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

Yeah. Hey, I've noticed that you've been off a little bit lately. I just want to check in and come to grounds with you. Like, how can I support you through this? And I know that you've been sleeping off a little bit. So, is there anything that I can do to help support that? Do we need to like get on blood work tests? Do we need to get on neutr, you know, nutritional supplements? What can we do to kind of get you back to where you were? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah, I think as I as long as it's coming from a supported, uh supportive place and he's willing to work do it together, I think it should be fine.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

How long do you stay with someone who's not willing to help themselves, though?

SPEAKER_00 28:41

That's a good question. I feel like it depends because you can uh try to go down this road with them as far as you can, but if they're not willing to meet you anywhere on that, then you've done everything you can. So, you know, relationships do take effort from both sides.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

It's true.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

So if you're putting yourself out there and you're giving your 70%, but they're not willing to meet you 10, 15, 20, 30, then that's a sign to pay attention to. I always think of it as collecting information, and that's a piece of information to collect to determine what you should be doing down the road.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Because like you don't want to burn yourself out trying to help your partner.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

I know someone and beautiful, she works out, stays in shape, and her husband has let himself go. And she's lost that love and feeling, and she's tried to have that conversation with him. Hey, you've let yourself go. Like, what you're not the man that I married. And she's tried to help him change, and he just won't. He's just lazy and he doesn't do anything about it. But they have kids together, so it's tough.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

But he also might need to have his testosterone. Maybe that could be hormonal too.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

But it's like you said, how long doesn't women when you're nice and you're supportive and you're offering help, how long do you stay in the relationship for?

SPEAKER_00 29:50

I think one important thing that the listeners said too was that he's a believer in looking good and you have a responsibility to being healthy for your partner. I believe in that too, because you know, if you're gonna have kids, if you're gonna do life together, that all affects it. So it's like, hey, if we agree to that in the beginning, then I noticed that we're kind of off of that. Can we figure out a way to get back to it?

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Yeah. So now we're gonna discuss this article. Uh and I want to get your opinion to see if you agree with this. So the five biggest icks in women that 100 masculine men were asked. Do you agree with these? Number five, when a woman has masculine energy, energy of competition, comparison, and power struggle. Is that an ick for you?

SPEAKER_00 30:33

I think it could be if it's to an extreme.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

And if it's directed at the man that you're trying. There's, you know what I mean? Like you can have a competitive nature as a woman, but still be feminine and not compete with your male partner. Exactly. You know what I mean? I think it depends on how you're using those characteristics. Because if you're competitive in the workplace or in the gym, it's one thing. But if you're at home competing with your male partner over, you know it's annoying. Whatever it is. That's that's a clash.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Competitiveness can be attractive for somebody who's striving to do better and be better. But if you're at home, then it's it's yeah, I think it that one kind of depends on the context.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

Number four, a negative attitude, gossiping, negative energy. I think that's an ick for everyone, both ways, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Even if they're just joking all the time, it's like you're putting it out into the universe. I don't care if you're just joking.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

That's I hate negativity. Yeah. Number three is flirting with other men.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Ick.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

I feel like that'll be an ick for anyone, right? And I know some women do it because they want to make the man jealous, but it's like, no.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Yeah, I had an ex that thought that that was okay and made me rethink if that was something that I should have been okay with. Um, that flirting out is is healthy. And and I was like, it just sounds like you want an open relationship, then, if that's the case. But yeah, it was it's an ick. It's an ick.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Uh, number two, lack of loyalty. And then the number one thing that was an ick for men was disrespect. Bringing a disrespectful energy to a date means you'll be a challenging person to enter a relationship with. Men aren't cool with disrespect. Absolutely. I can I can imagine that's true. And then it's funny, another article was saying the all-time biggest ick for men is not how you do your makeup, not how you smell. It's when women don't appreciate the little things men do. Successful relationships have low entitlement and high appreciation. Lots of entitlement and low appreciation is toxic. Nitpicking, controlling, gossiping about each other means no respect present. Men are fueled by appreciation and men will go where they are appreciated. Appreciation is a magnet, an oasis, a tree giving shade to a man. It affirms he's needed and valued. If a man doesn't feel this, he feels there's not much to live for. Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 32:45

I would agree with that. It's the little things I feel like as guys, we do pick up if a girl doesn't say thank you for a small thing, you know, and whether it's a date or picking them up for from the airport or whatever it is, but if it's a such a small thing, but we pay attention to that.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

I have some friends that the husband does everything for her, cooks, makes cocktails, but she's always putting him down. Like, why didn't you put enough ice in this drink? Why didn't you blend this drink more? Why didn't you leave the lasagna in the oven longer? Like he goes out of his way to care for her, but she never appreciates it, never says thank you. She's just always being negative about it.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Are they still together?

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Uh yes, they're still together.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

And I think that's sad because when they eventually do split up, and this is what I think is sad because I am big on this too, saying thank you. And like, because I come from a family of men who are very much caretakers to the women. It's opening the car doors and always getting out to pump the gas, and it's, you know, the little things. And so thank you in my mind, it's it's really big to always make sure that I'm saying thank you. But I feel like men like that learn then not to do the little things because they've been so underappreciated. And so it's like, unfortunately for him, is he not gonna treat the next woman the way that he treated her because he learned, he basically learned I can do all these things and not be appreciated for it. And I feel like I've met so many men that are that way that come across like, I'm not gonna do the these things for you until I know that you appreciate them because of the way that they've been underappreciated in the past.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

That pisses me off though, because I was a victim of that. I remember an ex-boyfriend never bought me flowers, was never romantic, and you know what his excuse was? Well, my ex didn't appreciate what appreciated it when I did all these things for her, so I'm not gonna do it for you. And it's like, that's not fair that I'm getting punished because she didn't appreciate it, because I'm a very appreciative person. Yeah, and that would mean a lot to me. Yeah, I'm not her. Exactly. So I don't like it when people use their past to you know fuel their future.

SPEAKER_00 34:54

That's definitely on him for not dealing with whatever pain that he still feels from the past.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Yeah. So now it's time for the celebrity cup where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities. So now we're gonna marinate in Bonnie Blue's juices. Do you know Bonnie Blue?

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Oh my have you seen her baby shower?

SPEAKER_00 35:10

No, I didn't know she was having a baby.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

So she's pregnant and she's having a baby shower. She's pregnant. And fans will be involved in her baby shower to celebrate a wholesome pregnancy. My baby shower will be so special, it'll turn into a golden shower. My fans can cover me in their urine and have sex with me. Traditional baby shower games will be played throughout the day. Pinatas and my holes will be getting smashed. What the beep? Like, this is coming from her. My pregnancy has been a community effort and it'll continue throughout my pregnancy. I don't want to tear, so I plan on being stretched regularly. She's also auctioning off her baby's name to the highest bidder. No. Yeah. And listen to this. She claims to be pregnant after having unprotected sex with over 500 men as part of her breeding mission.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

So does she know who the father is?

SPEAKER_01 36:02

I don't think she does, no.

unknown 36:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

This woman, is there something like oh yeah. There's gotta be.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

There has to be.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Because like you're having you're pregnant and you're allowing God knows how many men to penetrate you and what this poor kid. I was just gonna say that. This poor child, it's gonna come out.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

This child's gonna grow up and then realize that their parental figures are the way that they are, or you know, lack of.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

It's really sad to me. And is she gonna continue doing this when she's a mother?

SPEAKER_00 36:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

You know, and that's just uh that's sad to me. Uh now it's time to get to know you, Zoya, sponsored by Zoya, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions. Okay. They still follow their ex on Instagram. Is that a red flag?

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Red flag.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

They're a bad tipper.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Red flag.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

They have no social media at all.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

No green flag.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

Is watching porn considered cheating?

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've slept with?

SPEAKER_00 37:06

I don't think that's necessary.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date?

SPEAKER_00 37:11

It could be.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Um Do you have a secret talent that not many people know about, or something, a unique fact?

SPEAKER_00 37:17

About myself. Um I mean, we kind of covered it. I I run marathons, I do calisthenics, I do handstands, all of that fun stuff.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Handstands?

SPEAKER_00 37:26

That's my yeah, that's my little like party trick.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

In one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_00 37:30

I'm respectful, loyal, and I just want to make sure that they feel safe, comfortable, and happy.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Nice. And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why? Oh, gotta end with a bang.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

Gotta end with a bang. Um, as long as I have mirrors and props, then I just want to make sure that they get folded like a pretzel and can appreciate what they're looking at from multiple angles.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Good answer. Thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market. And thank you so much, Martine. If you want to snag a date with Martine, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your wealth in your pocket where it belongs, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market. Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.