She's Dated Both — Here's What Men Do Better Than Women (And Vice Versa)

Catfish And Married Men Chaos

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.

Meet Emily And The Dating Scene

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Welcome to the meat market. The single scene is the slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it. We are your hosts. I'm Lindsay. I'm Jess. And today's sizzling single is Emily. Welcome. Hi. How are you? So you're from California. Yes. And now you're in Scotstyle. How is dating different? How are California men different?

SPEAKER_04 0:30

How are California men different? Well, um Are they different? I don't think so. It's just except they people the difference between Arizona and California is that they just surf and they have like surfer hair, but like, I don't know. I don't I wouldn't I wouldn't say they're any different. I would just say that I don't know. Sorry. What about the women? Are the women different? Oh yes, they are. They're very there's not a lot of

Bisexual Dating And Fear Of Commitment

SPEAKER_04 0:58

women out here. Oh, I did tell you that I'm bi. So just like I did not know that. Okay. Oh, oh no, I didn't. Oh, was it on the sheet? Yes. Yes. I thought you were talking about that. And I was like, oh, well, women are crazy too.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

So you're bisexual. So the women are different. The men are, but the women are. How so?

SPEAKER_04 1:13

Yeah, so the women, women are interested in dating. Like, and for me, like I'm kind of the opposite. Like, I have a hard time getting into relationships. I'm very like kind of not ready to be in one. So I can kind of like, I don't know how to like explain it.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

But um you like to date, but you're not looking for a commitment.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Yeah. Like I'm I think I'm looking for commitment. And then I like start talking to someone. I'm like, oh, like I'm just not, I'm just scared. I'm just not ready. I think my keep my heart really close to myself. With just women or with men and women? Well, men are scarier. Really? Men are scary. Um, let's just like let's just say for Scottsdale, for instance, um, guys are interested in, I feel like a more traditional kind of girl. Like, I feel like they just want someone who just sits next to them, looks pretty, and like doesn't really do or say much. And I'm like, I'm out there. I like to play golf, I like to play tennis, I like to like challenge you, I like to be um, I don't know, just more out there. And I don't really care much about status. And I feel like Scottsville can be very much about status and like money, and like LA can be like the same

TikTok Romance And A Four-Year Run

SPEAKER_04 2:27

way. So what is your longest relationship? Four years.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

And that was with a man, a girl, a girl, okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Yes. So um I went to U of A. I played college tennis. So um when I was at U of A, um, I had really been on TikTok and I was meeting girls, I was traveling to meet girls, and they were traveling to meet me. And um one day I had met this girl on TikTok, and um, I used to go like live, so she would just all event end up being like the only person on my live. So we we got together and she was from Scottsdale, and I was living in Tucson at the time. Um, she would just drive up every weekend to see me, and she was just basically living with me, and she never left. And um, yeah, no, she she was great. Girl, the difference between girls and guys, let me just say, is that girls are soft and they can open up very much emotionally, and it's not that much about sex. And very when you like meet a guy, it's just like okay, like when are we going home? When are we going to like hook up? And so, like, there can be like a really difference, like big difference emotionally, if you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

But uh what do you prefer to date? Do you prefer to date?

SPEAKER_04 3:37

I prefer to date the mind of a woman, um, but I'm attracted to both. Okay. Have you had a long-term relationship with a guy? I have. I have the longest relationship I had with a guy was when I was um like 18 to 21, and then we broke up. Um I was in college, he was two years younger than me, so he was going to college. Um and I loved him very much, and I didn't realize that I was like interested in girls until like later in life.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

So why did you break up with your male?

SPEAKER_04 4:10

He broke up with me, actually. So I don't really know. I think at one point he just said, like, hey, I don't really see myself with you anymore, and we're so young. And I was like, honestly, that's fair. Like, you know, I was hurt at then, but like looking at it now, I'm like, thank God. You know, like you know, we're I haven't seen him in years, but uh you know, he ended up being a really nice guy.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

But so many people end up getting married at that stage, yeah. Like we don't know what to do next, so let's just get married. Yeah, and then that never works.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

Yeah, I just wasn't interested in getting married, and like we were both athletes. We were he was going to UCLA for tennis, and I was going to school in San Francisco for tennis. Um, and we were just like, look, like, you know, we obviously had a great time, you're young, you know. And um, yeah, no, it just ended up, you know, I had got to have more experiences, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

But and now why did you break up with the girl, the four-year relationship?

SPEAKER_04 5:04

Oh um, gosh, she was we were just so toxic, really. Yes, we were just like so in love and so toxic. Like we loved each other and we had so much fun together deeply, but we also just had like the worst like fights. We couldn't get along, we couldn't communicate. Um and I'm very much like a like de uh what is it called? Like I bring down the situation, like I don't like fuel the fire. De escalate, thank you. So I'm a de-escalator and she's very much like a fueler, like she fuels the fire, and like we just constantly just couldn't.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Would she ever get upset or jealous because she met you on TikTok, right? Yes, so was she also insecure that you would meet someone else on TikTok in the same way?

SPEAKER_04 5:56

She would, but what was funny is that once I met her, I just stopped really doing it completely because I really went on TikTok to like find and meet girls. And 2020 TikTok was so different then. Um, it was so different, and um the way you met girls, it was just easier to get famous on TikTok and it was easier to get noticed and have things blow up. Now you need to have a one-minute video and all this stuff. I don't do TikTok anymore, but um, it was just different five years ago. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I know actually what happened then is that she started posting on TikTok because she wanted to like, you know, maybe make some videos, you know, meet people also, maybe not in that way, but like just get famous in a way. Maybe I think she wanted to be attention. She wanted to be able to do that. She wanted attention. So like she would post on TikTok, and I told her, I was like, hey, look, like you look single in these videos, and you know, you're not really showing me. And she's like, well, that's that's what that like. If I show you that I have a girlfriend, then they're gonna think that they're not gonna want to follow me.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

Kind of she's like, I'm playing a part, is basically what she said.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Exactly. And I was just like, Well, that hurts my feelings, you know. Well, that's not authentic, right? No, and then actually I did end up finding like pictures of other girls, like naked girls, like on her phone. And we didn't break up, but we should have at the time. We should have at the time, but um, yeah, she just certainly um was a lot, and we were really connected like at the hip, and it was just hard to like let that go. So, but are you looking to get married to have kids?

Intentional Dating And App Fatigue

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Yes, yes. I'm 28 now, and you know, I'm like, damn, like in my early 20s and mid-20s, like I wasn't taking dating really that seriously because I did love her, but I was like, Do I really think this is like a relationship that's gonna flourish? Like, and the things that we were doing was I was like, this is not my idea of like what a marriage should be like or a partnership should be like. So now that I'm 28, I was just like, okay, I'm taking dating seriously now. I'm gonna be more intentional with my dating. And so, like, when I do go out, like you know, I just find myself quite disappointed with the male population.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

How are you meeting guys? Are you on the apps or do you try to meet in?

SPEAKER_04 8:19

I am on the apps, but I cannot get myself to meet a guy out because at the end of the day, we're just swiping based off of what they look like. And you really don't know anything about them. And I don't really go on dates too many off too often, but I do like to go out with my friends um and you know, meet guys, and then they open their mouth. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

And I'm like, like you are so cute.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

So when you're on the apps, do you have are you able to have a profile that says you're looking for men and women? Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Yes, yes. Um, so it doesn't say like, oh, on your profile, you're also interested in both men and women, but like I'll be on you know, the female side, then I'll be on the male side for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Um like you ch you toggle it in the settings where you can be looking for men or looking for.

SPEAKER_04 9:13

But the women, there's not a lot of like women here that I'm interested in.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

What is your type for women?

SPEAKER_04 9:18

Yeah, yeah. So I don't like feminine girls. I'm not interested in like, you know, like uh girls that look like me. I like girls that like have tattoos or edgier, kind of like tomboy, skater boy, um, kind of like um edgy, kind of bad. But still pretty. But pretty in the face. Okay. I don't like butch haircuts. I like girls with hair, like pretty hair. God, yeah. Like um, maybe after the show I'll show you what my ex so you can get like an idea.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

No, I was talking to one of my girlfriends about this actually recently because she and I went out for Mother's Day brunch together with her son, and we spend a lot of time together, and people often think that we are his lesbian moms. Really? And so we joke about that. Like we call each other lesbian. No, he's married to a man, like he's married now, but like we just we spend a lot of time together, and and her son has sort of grown up around me, and people think that all the time, like that we are his moms. And so we tell we joke about it, and we're like, we swear we're not lesbians, like we are not together. We are not together. But no, totally. We use it to our advantage, of course. But it's like we're like, oh, we just want to get over here. Like, I remember we went to hit one of his football games once, and we wanted to go down because he's in a wheelchair, but the football team, um, the high school football team would have him like do their stats, and he was like their motivational speaker in the locker room before the games, and so they would push him out of the tunnel before the games or whatever. And so we just wanted to go down there to just take a video of them pushing him out of the tunnel, and that was it. So we go down to the security guard and she's like, you know, we're just gonna grab a quick video of him getting pushed out of the tunnel, and then and then we'll be out of here. She's like, we're not staying for the game or anything. And so security like opens the gate and lets us in, and there's another like member of the security team walking towards us, and he was like, No, no, no, they're fine. Um, his mom's just want to get video of him getting pushed out of the mom.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

Well, I mean it's 2026. You never know who never knows. You never want to assume. It's so true.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

But we were laughing and we were talking because I've there's this girl on social media that I really like. She's a hairdresser, and her name is Ruby, and she's beautiful. She's this beautiful, beautiful woman, but she's gay, and her partner is more butch looking, but still very beautiful. And so it's like, it's like, I think it, I think that would be my little I stick to, and I think that's what you're like, what you're describing.

SPEAKER_04 11:47

I feel like um there's not like I feel like it's more often you see femme for femmes, but you don't really often see mask for mask. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 11:55

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 11:56

Um, like, don't get me wrong, like there are them out there, and I've seen them on TikTok. There's this really funny mask couple that I follow on TikTok. I cannot remember their names, but um, it's just it's not as it's definitely a little bit more unusual to see, but like totally still normal. But yeah, I I do gravitate more towards like the edgier side, girls with tattoos. You know who she would be good with?

SPEAKER_00 12:19

Remember, we had that girl on the stripper that was bisexual and she had the long blonde hair and she was gorgeous. Oh, yeah, she had tattoos, actually, she was skater kind of skater dude. Yeah, she was she had edge, made the beef tell, so she made the beef tellow, so I loved her. I love it. And she was stunning, but she had that vibe that you're looking for the skater type.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

Yeah, like I just like bisexual too. Bisexual, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I mean, you have to show me later.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

She's super cool too.

SPEAKER_04 12:47

Yeah, but um, yeah, I think um so what about men? What's your type for a man? For men, I really love I don't want to like talk about physical stuff, but like I do love blue eyes. I love like darker hair, blonde hair. Um, of course, like tall, you know, if they say they're six foot, they're not. They're 5'11. Um and I like guys that are athletic, um, guys that like to do stuff and go out with me. I do like to do a lot of things. I like to boat, I like to golf, I like to play tennis, pick a wall. So like guys that are like willing to go head for head with me.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

Um now when you see yourself in the future, do you see yourself with a woman or a man? Um, honestly, the way I see it is first come, first serve.

SPEAKER_04 13:34

Really? You know, like I'm happy with either one. Um, of course, like it it sucks that like you can't have biological children on one side. But um, I really just think that like it's first come, first serve. And like whoever treats me right, whoever have the best, you know, most healthiest relationship, then yeah, I'm open to that. And um my family's you know, one side's a little bit more okay with it the other than the other, but um, yeah, we'll we'll see. Right, I've dated girls, but right now, like I'm kind of hanging out and like seeing guys right now, but it's not like a preference.

Pickleball Culture And Competitive Chemistry

SPEAKER_00 14:11

And now you said you played tennis, so yes, you are okay with pickleball because I know a lot of people that love tennis hate pickleball. I hated it at first.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

I was like, it's pickleball is a sport that people play when they can't figure out tennis or play tennis, and um it's the teamu version, yeah. That's exactly the idea because you don't have to run so much because I'm lazy. Yes, yes. So I um a lot of my friends who ended up not playing pro tennis, like ended up playing pro pickleball because it's such a new sport, and you can people would really are taking advantage of that new sport aspect, and a lot of sponsorships are being given out, this, that, and the other. Um, and yeah, no, I was like, oh no, I don't want to play pickleball. And then one of my friends asked me to play, and then I was like, oh, I kind of like this. This is fun. Um, and the reason why is because with tennis, like you kind of need to play with someone of the same caliber as you, and with pickleball, it's more forgiving, it's more universal. Like, if I've like, obviously I played tennis, but like if I went to go play it with someone who's never maybe played a racket sport before, like I could play with them and it's fun.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

I've gotten my ass kicked by like a couple in their 60s on the pickleball report. So it's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:23

And they're probably so serious, too.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

They're so serious, so serious.

SPEAKER_04 15:28

I get it. I don't go why it's so serious. I've played with people and I'm like, I know I can play, but like I can't remember the score, and they just get mad at me. I'm like, it's not that serious. I know just having fun.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

I feel like that's how it was. I feel like this couple kept saying the score every time, and I was just like, I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

I was like, I'll just let you say it then. Yeah, I don't have to pay attention. Yeah, no, I I didn't get it at first. It took me a it took me a bunch of tries to get it.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Um, some people are really nice, and then some people are like, I heard that people are judgy about the rackets, what racket you have. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

I have like one of those Amazon ones, it's like checkered, you know, it's got like the checkers or something, it's like five dollars, and then people come with like their hundred dollar paddles, and I'm just like it's fun.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

I have a friend that's so serious about pickable, and he talks about the he's like, if I see an Amazon paddle, I know that they're gonna suck.

SPEAKER_04 16:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I'll walk up like with an Amazon paddle, but like they don't know like my background, and then they're like they're kind of mean at first, and then like, oh, have you like played before? And I'm like, Yeah, I have. And they're like kind of nicer to me at first, but like at first that's funny that you're kind of like you're like a pickleball shark. Yes, I like to go in like not saying anything about myself. You should start like taking bets, like hustling people, like putting buttons on the sun. I know. Um, I do like to um I do like to play. Um, but yeah, people definitely like come up to me and they'll be like, Did you play tennis? Or like, you know, I can tell by like your volleying or like how you're playing a little bit. Um, but then I'll play people who've like never played tennis in their life and they play pickleball for maybe one year and they beat me. Like they're awesome. Um, so it really it's it's it helps to like play tennis, but it doesn't really have, you know, it's not really hand in hand too much.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

Do you want your partner to be also athletic, competitive?

SPEAKER_04 17:21

They have to, or it's an ick.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:23

Yeah, it's an ick. One of my ex-boyfriends, he like was a water polo player. And um, he was cute and he was fit, but the way that he like jogged or ran was like an ick. And I was like, That's hilarious! I was like, I was like, I feel so horrible about this, but I was like, the way you run right now is giving me an ick. So she breaks out of them. I just I can't deal with the way you run. No, no, I don't, and like he ended up cheating on me, actually. What? But I didn't care. Because I've already had what about his run? Maybe was it feminine or it was just like the way he like moved his hips and um like did water polo players never cross-train? Like, did he never do any other type of no, he never, he wasn't a runner, he wasn't anything else, he was just a water like a water polo player, and he also was really handsy, so he's a dirt bike. Where I'm from, like dirt bikes and off-roading's really popular. So he he was a dirt biker. Um, but yeah, for some reason he was- How did you find out he was cheating on you? Oh, he told me like after we ended up breaking up, which is funny because um I was like a junior in college. It was I was in San Francisco at the time, and he didn't go to college. Um, he like he's one of those guys that like lives in a van now.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 18:39

And like at the time he wasn't making it. I was like, I'm not really about to be living in a van. Like, I'll go on vacation and live in a van, but now he's successful. Like, we still talk today, and he's successful now. But back in 2019 when we were dating, um I wasn't really that into it. Like, we were we were kind of dating. We did, I we were really good friends, but we were just like, Oh, let's let's let's date, you know. And then I went back to school and then I was like, this is not a good idea. Uh, we ended up breaking up, and then um he calls me one day and he's like, Hey, um, yeah, I just want to let you know that like I did end up cheating on you when I was at the beach because he was living in San Diego at the time, and he was like, Yeah, I just met this girl on the beach and I cheated on you. I was like, I feel like I should be more upset about this, but whatever. I wasn't that into you. I kind of left you to start dating girls anyways. So have you ever walked out mid-date?

The Nightcap Detour And Walking Out

SPEAKER_04 19:39

Yes, I have. It wasn't an official, official date, but we were hanging out. We were met at a house party, but I met with uh my roommate at the time, and he had a Ferrari. So I was like, okay, Ferrari guy in Scottsdale, or whatever, like of course. Um, and it was towards the end of the night, and I was like having an okay time, and he was just like, Oh, you want can I take you home? I was like, Oh yeah, please, I would really appreciate that. And we're driving home and I'm looking around and I'm like, This is not I this is not the Arcadia Biltmore area. Why are we in Old Town? And he's like, Oh, we just need to make a quick stop. We just need to make a quick stop. I was like, okay. Um, so we park and we walk into Boondocks, and I'm like, Why are we in Boondocks? He's like, Oh, we're just gonna meet some people. Mind you, it's like 1:30 in the morning. And I'm like, I really don't want to be out at this time, like, I'm really over it. So we were going home. Yeah, I was like, please take me home. Um, he turns and starts ordering drinks, and as he turns and starts ordering drinks, I turn around and bolt out the door. Never saw him again. That's good for you. Like, that's so disrespectful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

Did you ever hear from him? Did he try to get it?

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Never saw heard from him again, never went back to like one of my roommate's parties, never really hung out with my roommate's friends again. I was just like, that was weird. I don't like that he said he was gonna take me home, and then he's like, Oh, we're just gonna go here. Um, if you're just not gonna take me home, I'm fine with buying an Uber. And like, why didn't he communicate with you and ask you, is it okay if we make a stop? No, no, no, not at all. We like park, and he's like, Oh, we're just I was like, where are we? He's like, Oh, we're just gonna make a stop. And I was like, that's weird. That's creepy. I don't like that.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

Where was your date? Where was dinner? Was it at in Old Town somewhere? Was it close to the next one?

SPEAKER_04 21:19

It was in Old Town. Um, and it was um, I can't remember the place. But when he said he was taking me home, I was like, we're not driving back towards Arcadia. Like, we're still in Old Town driving around. And I didn't want to be like just that one girl who's just like, shut up and don't ask questions. I'm like, I'm over here, like, where are we? Where are we going? Like, um, and he was just like, Yeah, we're gonna stop somewhere. And I was just like, I don't care, I'm gonna go. And like, I didn't feel like talking about it. I didn't feel like you know, I barely knew the guy, so I just honestly turned around and was like, bye.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

And for him not to even ask you, like, can we stop for a nightcap first? Like, I'd like to have one more drink with. You and then I'll take you home. So it's like for him not to communicate with you his intentions, I feel like he didn't deserve you to communicate yours. Not at all.

SPEAKER_04 22:10

It was kind of weird. I wanted to call my mom. Mom.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

She's keeping. So what are your deal breakers besides running funky? Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:20

Um, deal breakers. Um if you're like a doctor, that sounds weird. If you're like a medical doctor? A medical like if you're in the medical industry, then you're like gone for too much. Or like um some deal breakers. If again, you're not athletic. Um you live with your mom, but that's not cool. I'm I'm 28 and I have my own place. So I would prefer if you have somewhat similar.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

What about roommates?

SPEAKER_04 22:49

Roommates are that's fine. I I can handle roommates, but like I'm getting at the age where I'm just like, I want to be in an adult relationship now. And if you have one roommate, that's fine. But why do you have four roommates? Are we in college? What do you do for a living? So I work in commercial real estate. Okay. So I'm a graphic designer, so I work for brokers. Um, and essentially I'm the ones that create the proposals or the offering memorandums for like um commercial properties like this one. Or um, but specifically I work in multifamily, so like big apartment complexes we help sell.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

You know what I love about you is you're very natural. Like in Scottsdale, it's hard to meet women that are single that don't, you know, have a bunch of work done. Do you ever feel the pressure to like?

Botox Anxiety And Staying Natural

SPEAKER_04 23:36

I'm so glad that you said that. I'm like, oh thank God. Um so I feel like I look 22.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

You do look so young, but you can tell you haven't had much.

SPEAKER_04 23:45

No, um, I'm I'm lived in LA and I've lived in Scottsdale, and for some reason, like you do see a lot of people with a lot of work, um, a lot of Botox, a lot of filler, lots of boob jobs, and obviously I'm no fill, like nothing here and then nothing there. Um, but I think I just prefer the natural look. Um, but not to say that I have friends that do have them and they look great, don't get me wrong. It's just like not my vibe. But no, I mean, the other day I did was talking to my friends, was like, should I get Botox? I was talking to my coworker about this, and she has Botox. And I was like, should I get Botox? And she's like, you could use a little. And I was like, okay, but like, I don't think she meant it in a bad way. It's just like, yes, get it, like, you know, just to help prevent it.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

I saw this post, and so fillers gives me anxiety. I I'm not knocking anyone that does it, but you've seen those MRIs with people that have had fillers, and they say it dissolves, but it doesn't mean it just migrates. Yeah, and so I saw this post in one of these Facebook pages of this woman that's like, I spent all my 40s getting filler, and now I'm spending all of my 50s trying to get them dissolved and get them out of my face. Like, can anyone help me? I can't find any doctor that can completely get rid of them. It gives me anxiety that you're pumping your Facebook the stuff that you could, dude. Who knows where it's going and what it's doing.

SPEAKER_04 25:09

And I think another thing is I just don't trust anyone. Yeah. I don't trust anyone to do it. Um, but my my friend is going to school to become a dermatologist, a PA. And I was like, I'll let you do it. That's who I am too.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

I don't trust anybody except my sister. My sister's a nurse practitioner, and she does, yeah, yeah, and she does aesthetics and all of that. And it's like I travel to I travel out of state to see her, like because I don't trust anybody.

SPEAKER_04 25:36

I don't yeah, I don't trust anyone. I was like, I'm I don't, I was like, oh, I'll get tattoos, but I don't trust anyone to do it. Like it's just a weird thing like that. But um, yeah, no, I was talking to my mom the other day. I was like, oh, I think like I could like do a little, like it's fine. But I I really just I mean, not trying to be like condescending, but I'm fine the way that I look.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

I think like well, and there are either there are people who are like, oh, Botox, it's a toxin, blah, blah, blah. But also your body metabolizes it versus the filler. Like it doesn't, you know what I mean? Like that your body doesn't, it doesn't ever well, and they use Botox for a lot of other medical things.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Like if you have a painful bladder, they Botox that so you can't feel the pain down.

SPEAKER_04 26:15

If you like sweat profusely in your armpits, I've heard that you can get it.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

You can botox in your armpits. You can Botox for spasticity, like people that have disabilities, like if you have cerebral palsy and you have spasticity, you can do Botox injection. Botox in your skin.

SPEAKER_04 26:31

So I've heard like, oh yeah, Botox is a great resource for that too. But um, yeah, no, nothing for now. But like it does it, I do struggle with like seeing myself compared to like other people because everyone looks so good. And I feel like you in the back of your mind, you're kind of like, oh, like I probably should, I should, and then I'm you're like, and at the same time, I'm like, no, I don't really want to go through that.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

But a lot of when young, I feel like when young women do too much work too soon, it does make them look.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

It's kind of it kind of changes. Like you have a 22-year-old with all this work, and I'm like, damn, you look 30. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Have you ever met someone and you're like, I can't tell if they're 60 or if they're 20 years old? Totally. It's sad to me that these young women get so much work that they look like they're way older, trying to look young.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

I can't, I can't tell how old anyone is anymore.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

It's true. I when I was young, like when I was in high school, I wanted to dye my hair so bad. And my mom like wouldn't let me. She was like, do not start dyeing your hair. Do not I I like back then it was it was popular to do like, okay, this is when like frosted tips were a thing. When it was like boy bands, like in like the late 90s. Like in the 90s, yes, yeah. And we would spray sun in and like spray like lemon juice in our hair to make it like light in the sun. I did that. But I think I wanted like to I wanted the highlights, I think. Like the remember when the chunky highlights were popular in like the late 90s? That's what I wanted. Thin eyebrows, like yes, the thin eyebrows and the chunky highlights. That's I wanted it so bad. And my mom wouldn't let me. She was like, someday you're gonna thank me. And to this day, like I've never dyed my hair, I've never colored my hair. No. And so I feel like to your point, when you're young, it's like by the time you're older, you don't realize it when you're young. But when you're older, you're like, thank God I never, you know, thank God I didn't start pumping my face full of fillers in my 20s.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

Yeah, because I've certainly had people be like, oh, just get it, just do it. Like, obviously, I have wrinkles. Um, but I have a I have a pretty like um like baby face. And you know, so I feel like it'd be fine.

Listener Question On Brothers And Poly

SPEAKER_04 28:33

Are you ready for it?

SPEAKER_03 28:33

I'm ready for it. The Keep More Minute, brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet. We help you keep more in your relationship. Okay, we have a listener question this week. So this week we got an email from a couple a couple weeks ago. We got an email from this couple. They're from the Netherlands, and they have a story. And I'm the translation, I think it like auto-translated. So I hope I have the details right because I had to sort of like read through and translate this. Um, so we're a couple from the Netherlands and wanted to share our situation and get some advice. We are a married couple and we have one son, but it has always been an interest of ours to have a non-traditional or open relationship. One day while I was at work, my brother stopped by our home and my wife invited him in for tea. She called me while he was there, saying that she wanted to act out our fantasy of an open marriage with my brother, and I agreed. He mentioned that he had always wanted to sleep with her as well. And as a man who does not mind sharing, I was okay with it. This has now been going on for about six months. My brother has been staying with us, and often we go out on really nice dates, the three of us together. Well, fast forward, my wife is now pregnant again, and we are not sure yet who the dad is. My wife and I have talked, and we want to talk to my brother about living with us permanently and him marrying my wife as well. I think my brother will agree as we all love each other. But do you have any advice about how we can explain all of this to our parents?

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Oh my goodness, the parents. I was gonna say, it's such a society now where anything goes, everything is accepted now, you know, different horses, different courses. But the brother thing, like if it was, you know, the there are so many polyamorous relationships nowadays. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:34

But two brothers and a woman. That's a little, I feel like we're going on like on the incest, like stepping on the line a little bit. Not like on the line or you know, like that's a little strange. Anyone else?

SPEAKER_00 30:46

I and the parents, how are the parents gonna react? Oh my god, that wouldn't be good.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Um like both of their sons want to be married to the same woman, and then you have two grandchildren.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

And then you're also like having sex with your brother, with the same woman.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

I don't know that they're having three sums with each other. I think the wife is having sex with each of them separately. Okay. From what it sounds like, anyways, from the emails that they sent to us, it sounds like they're living together. But like, even though they didn't mention that, I know, but it might if it's happening, that's that's a little stupid.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Actually, they kind of are sleeping together because they're sleeping with the same woman, so it's the same, you know.

SPEAKER_04 31:29

So the question is how do you talk to your parents about this? Yeah. I would just say lead with your heart and just say that, you know. Honesty is thy best policy. Just be honest.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Yeah, just be like, this is what it is. This is what makes you happy, this is what you want. Everyone's okay with it. Yeah. And as a parent, you just want your kids to be happy.

SPEAKER_04 31:47

You have to give your parents also that time to accept and figure out how they feel too, you know? So like they get to decide whether they want to be part of your life or not. You know, so like if it makes them happy, if it makes them happy, like, hey, you're not killing anyone. So, like, that's that's kind of how I feel, you know. Like, it's a bit strange.

SPEAKER_03 32:08

In the Netherlands, I feel like it's that of pretty progressive. I feel like it is. It's an open there, yeah. You know, like Amsterdam and like all that stuff. Yeah, I it's not like it's you know, like super traditional, like India, or some of the you know what I mean, like some of the more traditional countries. Yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

That's strange. Yeah, no, how how how would you how would you good luck?

SPEAKER_03 32:34

I don't know. How did you come out to your parents?

Coming Out To Religious Parents

SPEAKER_03 32:37

Parents, yeah. Although like way different, just being bi.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

Well, um, I'll tell you the story about how I had my first experience. So I was in San Francisco. I was moving in with a bunch of like soccer girls. So I was like a tennis girl moving in with like a bunch of soccer girls, and one of them was a lesbian. And um I moved in like four days before my 21st birthday, and I was gonna go to a hippie sabotage concert. You know, I love hippies sometimes, yeah. Yeah, me too. Um, and all my roommates were like, Yeah, we're gonna go too. And so, like, I'm there with the girl, and hippie sabotage is playing, and I'm just over here, like, why do I feel this way? Like, this is so weird. Like, I'm like getting the ick. I'm like, but I want to, but I this is not how I was raised, like, you know, so you know, like I my sister was there that night, so we actually ended up going back to our apartment, and you know, things happened, and I was just like, What happened? What is going on? Um, and so um that happened, and then the guy that was living in the van at the time, we kind of started dating, and in the back of my mind, I was like, Oh, I was still having these experiences with my my roommate, you know, and so I left my ex and then um the dude, and then he was I was just like, Oh, I gotta tell my parents. So um eventually I started dating my other ex from uh that I the girl that I met at U of A. And about a year into the relationship, I was just like, I can't hide this anymore. Like, I'm hiding my relationship, I'm hiding my life, and I'm very much someone who likes to involve my family. I like I'm close with my family. I didn't want to hide from my family anymore. Um, and they're really religious, they're Catholic, you know, so like being gay was like not on the on the list. And I used to like hint at things and be like, oh mom, like if one of if someone in our family was gay, would you come to their wedding? Like even for our family, she's like, oh no, I couldn't. I couldn't. And I was just like, oh no, darn, like, darn, like that's not, you know, that's not really what I was hop hoping for. And they'd always be like, oh, we have no problems with gay people, but like we don't want them around, kind of thing. And I was like, Do you have a problem, gay people? You know, like that's not, you know, a thing. So I can't remember what it was, but we were at like a tennis tournament or something, and I was pissed at my parents and they were pissed at each other. Um, I think they were getting, they were in the process of getting a divorce, and I was in the backseat and I was just like, Oh, I'm gay, you know, and I'm like just angry. And I was like, you know what? I don't care because I'm gay. And they were just like, What? You know? And um, then after I told them, it just kind of became a little like hush, hush, like don't don't ask, don't tell. So like we knew it was there, but it was just like okay, we're not gonna.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

So you don't really talk about it much anymore?

SPEAKER_04 35:31

Oh, it's still there. Yeah, like to this day, my dad will call me and he's like, I pray for you. Oh goodness. And I'm like, okay, keep praying.

How To Tell A Date Went Well

SPEAKER_00 35:42

So one of the top Googled questions when it comes to dating is how to tell if a first date went well. Did my first date go well? Yeah. How do you feel that a first date went well for you? How can you tell it went well?

unknown 35:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

For me, it's like if conversation's easy, if you're laughing, if time flies, yeah, if there's positive body language, I think it's a good thing. It's easier to touch. I think it's easier to touch, right? And follow up, like if they text you and say, I had a great time, when can I see you again?

SPEAKER_04 36:11

Yeah, totally. I mean, I've I've gone on a great date where you know, we we hang out and I'm like, damn, it's two in the morning. Like we have to go home. And then I'm like, oh, why don't you just like we can hang out more? Like those are great dates. And then the kind of dates where you're just like constantly looking at your trying to find an excuse to leave, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:29

And you don't have to figure that out. Like it's just uh it's unfortunate, it's just a feeling you just feel as soon as you know. I think it's natural.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

I think it's like a natural feeling.

SPEAKER_04 36:38

Yeah, like when you meet someone on Hinge or wherever, and you meet them in person, and then like you know instantly if you're attracted to them, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

So I saw this TikTok. It was a guy, very good-looking guy, that was ranting about this first date that he went on. So he went on this first date, they show up, they had to wait for their table. So they go to the bar. He does not drink. She starts ordering the most expensive tequila on the menu, orders three of them. Their table's ready, they go sit down at the table. You've heard this one? Yeah. So she continues to order the most expensive tequila. She orders one of everything on the menu. By the time the food gets there, she's kind of full from the tequila. So just kind of picks, they get the check, she boxes up the food and takes it to go. And he's like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, like I paid for this. Like, I want to take the food. Oh my gosh. She's like, Well, I ordered the food and I was really looking forward to going home and finishing this tonight. He's like, But I paid for this food. They got into a fight. He ended up letting her leave with the food, and he just rants on TikTok. And everyone is slamming this girl, calling her the B-word and every name under the sun. Everyone's on his side. It sounds like wait, did she? Makeup, did you see she commented and tells her side? She's like, from the moment I showed up, he could not stop talking about how much money he had, how successful he had, what car he drove. He did not ask me one single question. He was so narcissistic. So yeah, I'm gonna order the most expensive tequila. I'm gonna order whatever I want and I'm gonna take the food. So that was her side. And then people are like, oh shit, okay, maybe. Yeah. She wasn't so bad.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

So didn't he make a reservation? Because like one, like step one, bro, is like to make the reservation. If you get to a restaurant, you don't have a reservation and you stand at the bar to wait for a table, you're asking for her to order three drinks. Right. Because it's like if you leave that much time, if you would have just made a reservation, got there, got to the table, like the date probably would have gone very differently. And she wouldn't have been three tequilas deep.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

Guys also just don't want to pay anymore. They want them to be like koy and like, you know, perhaps a salad kind of thing, you know. Um, and you know, she just, I guess, sounds like just took advantage of the situation, you know.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

So I think it is my pet peeve though, when you're on a date and they do not ask a single question and they just talk about themselves the whole time.

SPEAKER_04 39:03

Yeah, I've totally, you know, meeting guys at the bar is just like not great. But like that's all they talk about is like, oh, I've got three houses and I've got this business and you know, and all this stuff. And I'm like, I don't why do they do that? Like, I don't care. Why do they do that? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

I think they're impressing them.

SPEAKER_04 39:20

Yeah, they think that's what girls want to hear. And like for me personally, like, although that's great, like, I do want to date a guy that's successful, but like if that's immediately like what you're going to and talking about and not asking a single question and like about myself, then I really don't want to talk about I don't really want to talk to you.

Celebrity Tea And Consent Allegations

SPEAKER_00 39:36

Now it's time for the celebrity cut or we marinate in the juices of the celebrities. Did you guys hear about Ruby Rose, how she's accusing Katy Perry of SA? Yes. Something about so they it's 2010, and they were in Australia, and they were at a nightclub, and Ruby Rose was wasted, was sitting on her friend's lap, and apparently, allegedly, Katie Perry comes up and like shoves her vagina in Ruby Rose's face, like bare vagina, to the point where Ruby Rose projectile vomits. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 40:06

Ruby Rose was literally my gay awakening. Oranges and new black when she's on there. But do you think Katie, who does that in a public place? That's so strange. First of all, and who does that, period? And I think I read something on that where they're like, oh, maybe Katy Perry did it because she was a lesbian and she thought she'd like immediately she would just want Katy Perry on her like that.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

But then some people are saying, well, why didn't you say anything at the time? And Ruby Rose has come out saying, Well, at the time, Katy Perry was helping me with my visa application to the US, so I couldn't really fuck that up. Yeah, but that's just that story was crazy to me.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

Yeah, that's insane. I didn't hear that. Has Katy Perry come out with a statement?

SPEAKER_00 40:44

Like no, but I know that the police are now involved and the police are looking at footage and it's like escalated to that level. I guess if it was at a club, it was at a club. So it they will have camera footage, won't they? And I know the the general manager came out and said, you know, I just I don't know much. I just know it was very chaotic in there because Katie Perry was there, Ruby Rose is there, it was just the cluster. And you know, when people are drinking, I just can imagine it was a shit show. Totally projectile vomiting everything. Oh my god, did she actually? Yeah, that's insane. Oh my

Rapid Fire Red Flags And Wrap

SPEAKER_00 41:13

god. So now it's time to get to know you with Zoyo, sponsored by Zoyo, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire questions for you. Red flag or no? Makes you spit the bill on a first date. Yes. Still follows their ex on Instagram. Yes. Bad tipper. Yes. Has no social media. No. Where should someone not take you on a first date? Coffee.

SPEAKER_04 41:36

Really? You don't like coffee? I don't drink coffee. And I like to do stuff. Like I like to do experiences. Like, take me minigolfing, take me rock climbing, take me.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Rock climbing, dang.

SPEAKER_04 41:45

Yeah, I know I like to rock climb. I mean, I I'd rather have like a cocktail than coffee. Like, I don't know, I just get bored drinking coffee.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

Is watching porn considered cheating? This is probably controversial, but no. Before your intimate, is it appropriate to ask a date how many people they've been with?

SPEAKER_04 42:01

No. I mean, like, I don't think that's relevant. Like, you know, you met them before, like, what are they whether they say 50 or 20? Like, you still had relations with people before, and like, you know, like we're we're old. Like, I'm 28, like I'm dating guys and girls in their 30s, like, if people have passed now, you know, just don't have rather than not like have kids.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

Good answer. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date?

SPEAKER_04 42:24

Sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

Do you have a secret talent or something not many people know about you? A secret talent or a unique fact that you don't really tell too many people that you're willing to disclose. Other than being by in one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_04 42:44

Um because I'm fun and I'm not boring. Yeah. Like, um, you know, I feel like it even like Scottsdale girls that are that I've dated, like, I don't want to like get my hair wet, or like, they're just like, they're not like fully like all they want is someone to like spend money on them and um you know just get in with the crew and party and club. And I got I love people that are really down to earth, and I think that's like the thing that I've struggled with moving to Scottsdale. There's not a lot of people that are like everyone's up in the clouds and so focused on like status and all that stuff. I don't really care about that. Like it's just like exhausting. Yeah, it's exhausting, keeping up with the Joneses. And I like really just love someone who can just like not say a word about that and just be more laid back.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why? Oh my god. Gotta end with a bang.

SPEAKER_04 43:35

Oh man, mom, don't listen to this. Um I was just being like bent over. Yeah, we get that a lot. That's like the tough answer, I feel. Not in missionary. Yeah, felting in the eyes. You can't do that, no? No, no, not really. Like, it's just like just bend me over and that's it. Bend me over.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

Take care of business.

SPEAKER_04 43:58

Yeah, take care of business.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Other questions? Thank you so much for joining us this week at the Meat Market. And thank you so much, Emily. If you want to snag a date with Emily, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep your own money in your own wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market. Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.