This Waitress Spills What Men Keep Screwing Up on First Dates 🤦‍♀️

Catfish Cold Open

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Welcome to the meat market. The single scene is the slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it. We are your hosts. I'm Lindsay. I'm Jess. And today's sizzling single is Jocelyn. Welcome. So I see on your TikTok you say that you're funny, kind, you sing, and you're humble. You're the perfect package.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

So what is your go-to karaoke song? Oh, go to karaoke is sold the County Grande auction song. So you really love to sing? Yeah, I used to sing at church. And yeah, so I mean, here and there. Karaoke's more fun.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Yeah. Are you from Scottsdale? Yeah, born and raised. Really? Yes. How do you find dating in Scottsdale? Awful. Really? How? How so? Why?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

I I don't know. I'm very like kind of newer in it just because like I did become a single mom. So it was just like um a couple years, and it's just it's hard. I think harder for me as a single mom, but like I've also worked in Old Town Scottsdale as a server for the past two years, so it's like I I see it every day. Where do you work? What do you used to work at the Bon Talk? I didn't know. I love the Bon Tok. Yes, yeah. I just stopped serving there about a month ago. So seeing the dating life and being in it is yeah, it's it's not fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Um, if you don't mind me asking, why did it end with your ex?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Um well, um, we just co-parent. I'm not allowed to talk about him, unfortunately. Legally. That's you married to him? No, but you weren't married, no, no, you just put a social media clause in our contract. Um, but yeah, I mean, just beforehand, it was just not working. I don't know. But then I found out I was pregnant after we broke up. So after you broke up? Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Oh my god. How long after you broke up? Four days. No way.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

What did you tell him and try to work it out or see if you could work it out for the kid?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Or was it um uh we I mean we tried for a couple months and that was it. Yeah. How long did you guys date for? Two years before that.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Okay. So a pretty long-term relationship.

Being A Single Mom While Dating

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yeah, yeah. But we co-parents, so that's it. And are you in commercial real estate? Yeah, yeah. I do that. I'm an intern there. Uh I do it in I'm an intern at a commercial real estate here in Phoenix.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

And you also do TikTok? I see you post quite a bit of yeah, I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Yeah, I kind of want to do like the mom stuff and sing uh single dating life in Arizona's.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Do you find that being a single mother makes it harder today, having a kid?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

110% really makes it so much more difficult. Yes. Because I feel like the vibe in Scottsdale is like very fun, free, not really.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Almost like a vacation vibe. Like we're living, we're living life on vacation, sort of.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Like, let's go out today. Let's go out this weekend, let's go out. And like I do split time with his dad, so it's just like I do have like that 50% of the time to try and like go out and go on dates and stuff, but it's not fun. Cause like I think the second somebody hears, and I'm not shy about it, I'll say it right away. They come up to me and like, I'm a single mom, I got shy. And like they'll either like back up, they're like, Oh, okay, cool. And like back up, or it's like they like the idea of it, but not the responsibility of it, I guess, in a sense. Because when I say, Oh, I can't do this today, I have my kid, and then they are like, Well, you always do, or something, and I'm like, How old are you? I'm 25.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Okay, so you're young.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

I am a young mom. Yeah, I got pregnant at 21, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Cause I was gonna say, we have quite a few men that have kids on the show that they want a mother, a single mother, because they don't want someone that's out there partying, they want someone that's got that those motherly instincts and qualities.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah, I think that like even like dating as a single mom. I think I don't, I mean, I've only technically talked to one single dad, and it was a lot more easy. I found it easier to trust them and to like for them to understand it.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

Well, and even like scheduling dates, they just get it. They get it if it's like, oh my gosh, yeah, we were I know we were supposed to go out, but XYZ happened, and it's just like there's a little more understanding of the unexpected stuff that comes along with it.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Exactly. I think I agree. Yeah, it's I think it was a lot easier just trying that route, but I don't know. I haven't really like it's hard to date. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

You know what I've seen a lot of lately? I don't know why, if maybe this is just like, I don't know why my algorithm's sending me things like this, but the posts um from like the Are We Dating the Same Guy groups, a lot of them recently, a lot of like the T has been guys like, oh, he's a deadbeat dad. Like he has actually has three kids. Like he said he has zero kids, you know, to on the date. But in in actuality, when they post the picture, women are like, oh no, he has three kids that he doesn't take care of. Like it does that, I feel like in Arizona, is that an Arizona thing?

SPEAKER_00 4:54

I don't know. I I genuinely hate it. Like, I think I would never I I've I've heard of people like I mean I would never judge anybody, but I've heard of people being like not telling the guy until like the third day like I have a kid. Like, I would never do that. I'm like, I tell them before they even start texting me. I'm like, I'm a mom, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Yeah, people like wait, and I'm like well, it's one thing to wait to introduce your kid, but it's another thing to not be upfront in the beginning about the kids, kid or kids that you do have.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Why would you lie? Because then it's gonna suck if you really start liking them and then you have to tell them, oops, guess what? Surprise, surprise, I have three kids, I lied. Like, how embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Yeah, I find I I don't agree with it at all. I know I know people do it and they're like, Oh, I didn't want to tell them right away. And I'm like, why? Like, I why it almost feels like you're like hiding it. And I'm like, I would never hide it. Like, I'm proud moms, right? It's yeah, it's fun, it makes life so funny to just have a little best friend with you all the time.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

And you want someone to embrace you for you and everything that you are, including your kids.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Yes, yes, and that's the biggest thing. I would never hide it, and like I don't I don't get why they hide it, and like I and also I think dating a single parent is also hard in the sense like what did you do or what did they do? Like it's hard like because it's like okay, who did what in the relationship, you know?

Situationships And Meeting Your Child

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Have you had a single relationship since you split with your ex? Sorry, yeah, serious relationship.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Nothing official. Um I the longest one I had was just I just got out of like a situationship. I get my first ever situationship, I think. Like, yeah, I lasted a little over three months. Rough. Getting over that. I don't know. It feels like I'm like getting like I don't know. Yeah. So that was like, but nothing like official. So yeah, I've been basically single for four years, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

How long do you think you would wait to introduce your son to a guy?

SPEAKER_00 6:44

Um, I'm definitely not gonna wait. Like, I'm not the type of person to wait like six months because I don't bel like I don't want to waste six months of my time and like you spend a day with us and you realize, ah, this is not for me. Um, I it I feel like it depends on how much you like see them, how many dates you go on.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

It's true.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

I would say like the three-month mark, I would be like fine being like, hey, like join us at the park for or like do something with us, like, hey, this is mommy's friends. It wouldn't it would never be like anything, I wouldn't do anything like romantic or anything. Just like hang out with us for a day or like for a little bit and just kind of dip your toes. And then I wouldn't like fully go in until like they knew that that's like they were comfortable with it, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

I guess it's situational.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Yeah, it's so and I feel like when the kids are really young, it's a little bit easier to just have someone, like you said, like pop by the park or meet you at the mall or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Where yeah, just like stage a run-in and just be like, Oh, this is mommy's friend, I know him from whatever, you know. Yeah, yeah, because mine's three, so he's kind of like he just like he doesn't care.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

I feel like it's once they get a little bit older, you have to be more when they're asked that when it's the more the questions of is that your boyfriend? And you know, once they start realizing like the sort of relationship dynamics between adults, I think that's when it gets a little tricky.

Scottsdale Beauty Culture And Apps

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't he's still too young. So it's like it's kind of like, yeah, I like I'm ready to start dating somebody because he's younger, and I'm like, oh, okay, you know, but it's just hard.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

So one of your TikTok videos said that you're self-proclaimed high maintenance. Oh, not high maintenance. Not high maintenance.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

No, I was like, not high maintenance, but I'll do a coffee run every day. Oh, have fun, eh? No, I am, yeah, I know I'm not high maintenance at all. I I think like I think also dipping into the Scottsdale dating pool. I I feel like a Scottsdale, like, you know, they they're like a Scottsdale 10 is like a Scots, like, or a people from out of town, they're like, oh, I'm a Nashville five, but in Scottsdale, or like a 10, but in Scottsdale I'm a five. So that was like a harsh reality because like I going into the Scottsdale dating pool, it's like it's a lot of like extensions, you know, you have fake boobs, fake lips, fake boobs, like, and I don't have any of that except for like fake eyelashes. So I like walked in and I was like, ah, not like that. And then like I just feel like that's kind of I I think these girls are drop-dead gorgeous, but I'm just like, it was like like it's culture shock.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

And it's expensive to complain of that. It's super expensive, yeah. It's kind of exhausting mentally.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Like, you know, I'm like the the most I get done are my nails and eyelashes, and I call it a day.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

But you know, we've had a lot of guys here, including you know, Clayton Eckhart from The Bachelor.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Oh yeah, I've served him a couple times at Montauk.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Yeah, so he was in here and he doesn't like all that. He doesn't like, you know, the fake mess, the fake lips, the fillers, the even the eyelashes. He just likes a natural woman.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

So, you know, I think some guys like it where Yeah, we've like, I mean, even working at Montauk, it's just like I see it every single day, and like it's for some reason it was like the number one, like I think like hinge dating spot. I get I'm not even kidding yes. So I've been on hinge like a couple times here and there. I just I get the ick from the dating apps really quick. But yeah, every single person I'd see on there, I'd see come into Montauk and bring a girl, and then the next week bring a girl, and then the next week bring a different girl. And I'm like, the same guy? Yes, I've seen it many times. Like, and I'm just sitting there like, I saw you last week. And then no, it was one time funny. One time I actually like saw this guy on hinge that came in like two days before, and I I'd like TikTok or like hinge messaged. I was like, So did your date not work out? He had no idea what I was talking about, and then so yeah, and I just see like we would serve so many first dates, or like so many are like people they're like, Oh, I have another girl coming in like 30 minutes. Can you clear the table? And like, yeah, okay, sure. Wow, yeah. So it's it was I think working there was the biggest culture shock for me. And like bachelor parties, don't send your bachelor to Scottsdale. We've seen a lot of shenanigans, oh yeah, oh yeah, like cheap bachelors, oh yeah. I've I've I've had more bachelors ask me to come out with them than not, yeah. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

What? Yeah, poor wives.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

I know, and it it I mean you get the good ones occasionally, but yeah, they are just like, oh, so where do we go? Like, where are the hot girls? Like, what clubs are the best? And then like they like they'll leave you their numbers, they're like, come like make my last trip special or something. Stupid.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Have you ever accepted? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I'm like absolutely I'm like loyal to a fault, and I think it's I just I am not about that at all.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

We had another girl that works at Cold Bears and Cheeseburgers in Scottsdale, and she says that she gets hit on by married men and bachelors all the time.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

All the time that's crazy to me. Yeah, all the time. It's it's yeah, I think working in old town, it's just you see a ring and you're just like, okay, like you play it because you're a server and you want the tip, but you know.

Old Town Nightlife And Bachelor Parties

SPEAKER_02 11:40

So is it a red flag if your fiance, if you're getting married and your fiance wants to go to like a party city for their bachelor? So if they want to come to like Scottsdale or Nashville or Vegas, like you know what I mean? Is that a red flag? I don't. I mean, if you're in your 20s, late 20s, I don't think so. No, even though they're all out here.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

I would say it's only if you've ever if you're getting married and if you've ever just had the slightest doubt in your spouse or like your fiance or whatever, then I would say it's a ratted flag because they want to go party. There, they know. And like I but if you've never, like if you have like a good relationship and you trust, then I think it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Because you can cheat anywhere. Yeah, you could go to North Carolina for your bachelorette party or bachelor party and still cheat, you know? I don't think it's the location, I think it's the person.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a lot more opportunity in Scot Sales. That's true. And like to me, it's normal because like I work I've worked here, I've been in this, like, but like if you go anywhere else, this is like not really it, except for like obviously the party cities, but like yeah, it's like weird.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

I guess Scot Sales always ranked as the place for having the most beautiful women and all the influencers live here now.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

And yeah, yeah. It's yeah, we serve a lot. We I used to serve a lot of them. It's yeah, definitely interesting. I kind of forgot about the Montauk. I haven't been there in a while. It's good for brunch.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Yeah, I used to like to go there on Sundays for brunch.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah, it's definitely like definitely the happy hour appetizer before you go out, usually is what I get the most.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Yeah, it's been there for a while, huh?

SPEAKER_00 13:04

Yeah, they think they're going on like eight seventeen. I don't know. No, not at 17. I'm gonna say 11.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

I feel like a lot of places in Old Town have a very high turnover. Uh-huh. They're closing and reopening, but that's been there.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Yeah. Must be doing good. Yeah. They yeah, they're super big. Just because like tourists, it's you see it on the sidewalk because it's very the location. The location's amazing. So it's like you see it everywhere, it's outdoors. Like right now, they're busy is season right now for sure.

Faith And Finding A Genuine Partner

SPEAKER_01 13:31

But so I see you're religious. Is that important to you and a partner to be religious?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Yeah, I go to church every Sunday. Like, I'm very Christian and like traditional in that sense. And um, that's another thing that's hard to find here. I feel like in Scottsdale, you get a lot of the fake Christians. Like, I go to church, but like not I go to church to take pictures to put on Instagram. Oh god. I think that's what Scottsdale's full of. And I I go to Impact Church uh normally, and like that's where I've been. Um, that's where I used to sing too. Pastor Travis is super big on that. He'll always call him out. He'll be like, who where are the fake Christians at today? And everyone will laugh.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

I feel like that's a big one. Impact church and CCV, I think, are both like the big they're like the churches that people go to to show that they go to church.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Yeah, yeah. You don't meet anyone at church? I don't, I don't know. I don't, I don't really talk to people. I think I'm I'm not like shy, but I'm also not like I'm always just there by myself usually. And I go every Sunday and like I see the same people, but most most men are like taken at church.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

I feel like my friend Jay goes to impact church in CASA. He's probably too old for you though, actually. What is your age range?

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Oh, I'm not picky. I I mean uh I not younger because I try I I've no. Um I'd say like 21-year-olds, 27 to like 35, I feel like is a good range. I mean, I feel like they're mature, but then sometimes it's like, why are you 30 and single? I don't know. There's always a give and take.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

So describe your ideal partner.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Um, like my type or like like your your ideal type, yeah. Um like tall, cowboy. Cowboy? Yeah, mullet mustache, boots, jeans, six fours plus. Um just like family values, church, and like just like a very traditional sense. Like I I don't know, I don't I don't like I don't know. I feel like everyone nowadays is just very like I don't I don't want to like self-centered and just very like superficial and it's like it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

It's hard to find genuine people exactly, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

And I'm very like old school, I think, in that sense, which I don't find a lot of here. I think that's what makes it hard and adding in the single mom with that. It's like there's not a lot of like people that believe in like the traditional sense of like relationships, so that's because that's what I've always believed in.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

So and I feel like a lot of singles here have like underlying intentions or underlying motives, you know? Yeah, like an agenda, yes, yeah, right? Don't you think? Especially the women, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. But that also that brings in men with uh hidden agendas, also and so it's like chicken, it's like a chicken and the egg thing. I feel like men here don't have great intentions either.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

I feel like it's it's no, I think it's both it's like it's like hard because it's like I think with men, it's social media sucks. So you just see them liking all these girls' pictures, following girl after girl, and you're like, okay, I don't look like that. I think that's what makes it hard, and it's just like I don't know, I just want somebody who wants me. I don't want to have to compete like at all. Like, I think that's the worst, like the worst thing I feel like here in Scottsdale. I feel like you're always competing with the next because they like see someone or snow to someone and they're like, okay, I wonder, I wonder if that one would work. And like they just they don't want the exclusivity, they don't want to commit to something. So I get like that. That's that's what I get gather from being in the dating pool here.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Would you say you're a country girl at heart?

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Would you date long distance?

SPEAKER_00 17:04

No. Um, I'm like if my love language is physical touch, like I'm not a long distance girl, but also like I'm gonna be in Scottsdale because like I have a kid and like she's co-parent. So like we're both like I would never like try and put my kids. You can't move, like there's no possibility of you. Yeah, and people like take that into consideration when they like start talking to you. Like, I've I've talked talked like talked to a little one guy for a little bit, and he was like, he was like, Oh, but like I don't know if I want to live here, and that's kind of what ended that. And I was like, that's okay. And then there's people that like I don't like the step parent aspect or stuff like that. So I'm like, okay, then you're not it. So are you currently on the apps? No, no, no. Um, I hadn't been since well, yeah, no. I uh met my last like the person I used to was just talking to on an app and then got off. Um yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Do you you must get hit on a lot at work, no?

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Uh I yeah, I did. Uh um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

No one that you're you would be interested in.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

I don't know. I it it's I yeah, no, I didn't like I feel like I'm so picky being a single mom and like also just knowing what I don't want and like seeing how they act to a server, seeing how like I I kind of loved working in the service industry because I would see how men treat their servers or how they act in public and like I just I get the ick, you know. I've only I only think I only texted like two people in like two years working there back.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

So, what is your craziest first date? Do you have any disaster date stories?

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Honestly, no, I don't think so. I've honestly like kind of been lucky in that department, I feel like I just there's a lot of unmemorable ones, but I've never had like a disaster.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

No catfish experiences. Actually, no.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, I haven't. I I'm very like I I do a full stock if I'm gonna go on a date with somebody.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

So you've never walked out mid date?

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Nope. No, no, I I also am like I would feel bad. I would stick it out. I would stick it out. I don't I I I can't like I'm like I can't say no. I can't like I'm very bad at that. And so like I'm always gonna give somebody the benefit of the doubt, and I will always stick it out, even if I don't if I hate being there. So I'm like, oh okay, when's the check coming?

SPEAKER_01 19:26

So what are your hobbies? What do you do when you're not working?

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Um I uh well, gym. I'm I go to the gym like five days a week, and I used to play, I grew up playing basketball. So me and my kid will play basketball. Um and I just do a lot of like at home. I work from home or go in the office. Honestly, it's very like I'm I'm kind of just trying to find a new hobby right now. Like I besides like being active, going on walks, working out. Um, I'm like a homebody, so I like to just sit and watch Netflix when I'm not doing anything because it's like I'm either being a mom or working, and it's like sometimes just rotting. Rotting, sorry, rotting. Okay, I messed that up.

Friend Dated Your Partner Advice

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Are you ready for it? I'm ready for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet. We help you keep more in your relationship. Okay, so we have a listener question, scenario situation. Okay. So it says not necessarily dating advice, but kind of related. I, and then in parentheses, female, 37 years old, recently met a woman I genuinely genuinely liked and we became fast friends. We're both in happy, committed relationshipslash marriages, but after a couple of times of hanging out, she shared that she dated my partner in the past five plus years ago. Backstory. We met in person at a play place with our kids, and she did bring it up first after I added her on social media and she realized who my partner is. Now I'm having mixed emotions. On one hand, I believe friendships can exist separately from relationships, and I know we all have a past, but I'm also realistic that these types of friendships can get complicated. She mentioned that there wasn't any wrongdoing or red flags with their relationship and they only dated casually, but I still can't help but to feel a way about it. I'd love to have more friends, but I'm unsure how to navigate this. Would you move forward with the friendship or step back altogether?

SPEAKER_01 21:24

I think I'd talk to my husband first and see if he feels comfortable with his side. His side.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

If I hear his sides of the story, did he see it as a casual dating relationship also? And that there was no wrongdoing.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

I think because ultimately she's her number one is her husband, right? That's her priority. So talk to him about it. And if he's fine with it and says, Yeah, she's right, it was casual, there's it didn't end badly, go for it. Then maybe she 'cause it's hard to find good friends, right? It is. It is.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

So it was uh her current husband's previous relationship, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Oh, I I wouldn't be friends with someone that your partner had dated.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

I would have that's where the intentions are. Like sometimes females have such hidden agendas, and it's sometimes really hard to like trust someone fully. I mean, obviously, yeah, talking to the husband, but I'd be like so skeptical of like bringing her around.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

If I was single, I maybe would, but she's in a happy relationship right now.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

So she says, So she says that's I'd be a little suspicious about it too.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

I think you can have a friendship, but I'd always I'm yeah, I think I'd be suspicious in the sense, like, when is she trying to hang out? Is she asking what I'm doing? Like, kind of yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

I think it depends. You have to kind of feel out the energy. Oh, yeah. Now that you both know the whole story, it's like if the energy changes or something.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

And why can't she just have her own friendship with this woman and not have to bring her around her husband? Because that might be a little weird. You wouldn't have to. That's the thing, is they wouldn't. So why would it ever be an issue, you know? Unless she starts asking about the husband.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yeah, that's when I would see a problem. Right?

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Or bringing him up continuously. Yeah. I'm like, how's he doing?

SPEAKER_00 22:59

What are you guys doing this weekend?

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Yeah. If it was like if it started being like a you guys thing, and then she starts showing up where whenever you guys are going. Yes.

The Surprise Double Date Debate

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Yeah. Yeah. That's why I think move forward with the friendship. I think, but just like with caution. With caution. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Yeah, I agree. So we're gonna discuss this article that I read on people.com where a woman walked out mid date after being blindsided by a double date. So this girl, Isabella, thought she was going on a date with one person. She's 24, they are in Dallas, they matched, got on great, chatted, planned to go on a date. So they get there, the waitress says, Oh, just the two of you. And the date says, No, there's gonna be four of us. And she laughed it off, thinking he was just joking. But then the waitress comes with four waters, and then he admits and revealed that he invited a friend who's also going on her first date and didn't tell her. So she was excited to get to know him and not the other two random people. So she got up and left. She just left, was pissed and left. She felt trapped. She said she didn't sign up for this. He didn't tell her. She felt uncomfortable. She was caught off guard. She said that he was very nice about it and apologetic, but that she's busy and doesn't have time to waste. How I feel that's extreme. I'd be like, sure, the more the merrier. Yeah. Right? It kind of takes pressure off.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Pressure off of a first date. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

I don't see the big deal. Like, if I were dating with intention, if I were dating to find my partner, my like the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, and he brings another couple along to our first date, I'm I'm doing the exact same thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

I think I would do it just because I I had the free time and I'm here and just stick it out. See, it could be fun, but like, yeah, I would definitely proceed with caution going on another date.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

I think if I'm dating just a date, like if I'm dating just a ha ha hee hee, like let's go on a cutesy first date, I'm gonna stay and it's gonna be fun and we're gonna have a great time and it's gonna be cool. But if I'm if that's the person that I think I'm gonna be with, like if if that's if my intention is to date for marriage, I that wouldn't be that wouldn't be okay with me. It is kind of disrespectful that he didn't give her the heads up.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Yeah. But now let me ask you this. So you leave and he's very apologetic and says, I'd like a redo. Can I take you on a date just you and I? Would you accept that?

SPEAKER_02 25:15

Yeah, depending on the how yeah, I would. F. It just it depends on how the apology is delivered. You know what I mean? Like if he says the right things, it's not yeah, it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but it would just be like, it would be like something that he'd need to be trained on. Like it's like again. You have to try, I mean, you have to train most men, and so it's like that's an easy, that's an easy thing. That's an easy fix. That's that's true, you know.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Like maybe he was just really nervous. Yeah, his friend was nervous, yeah. To kill two birds with one stone.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

See, I went on a date, and I've told this story multiple times, where the date bought a friend, just randomly bought a friend and didn't tell me, which I think is weird. That's weird. The friend didn't have a date that was also strange, it was three of us. Yeah, so I thought you had that happen too?

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Uh-huh. What is up with guys doing that? He asked me. He did ask, he was like, is it okay if I bring my friend? And I was like, you know what? Okay, whatever. And we ended up being bonded, and I'm actually still friends with both of them. Like, I'm friends with both of them now. Did he tell you why he wanted to bring a friend? Um, no. He was like, Do you mind if I did he was, I think he was just nervous. He was just like, Can I just bring him?

SPEAKER_01 26:20

I was like, That is so funny to me.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

And so then, so then because he did that, my friend was bartending at a bar in Scottsdale. I was like, okay, so then we're gonna go here because my friends were okay. So I made it so that I feel like it's fair. Yeah, I was like, okay, so then I'm gonna pick the place. And then I got there.

Celebrity Cut Prenup Chaos

SPEAKER_01 26:38

I was like, oh, by the way, this is where you're so now it's time for the celebrity cut where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities. So this is non-A-list celebrity gossip that really intrigued me and that has me thinking billionaires can buy anything, but it still can't buy them common sense. So you may have heard this story. It's been in the news. Billionaire David Geffen, 83 years old, gets married. He's worth almost$1 billion. No prenup. Surprise, surprise! He goes through a nasty divorce after only two years. So Geffen founded Asylum Records. He had signed Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, the Eagles. Then he starts Geffen Records, where he released Elton John Cher, Aerosmith, Blink 182, Guns N Roses, Nirvana. The list goes on. Then he co-founded DreamWorks. So he was huge, had a lot of money, built empires. He married toy boy David Armstrong, 32 years old, 50 years his junior, a former go-go dancer and personal trainer. No prenup. Less than two years together, Geffen filed divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Armstrong sued Geffen for failing to provide lifelong support after their split. He also alleges Geffen used a toxic mix of seduction, control, promises of love, and lavish displays of wealth to entrap him in a cycle of dependency, submission, and humiliation. He feels that Geffen exploited him and took advantage as he was a vulnerable young foster graduate when they met. He claims that he was cut off and left homeless with no money after the divorce. He also claims that Geffen forced him to laser off all of the hair on his body and threw a fit when he found one ingrown hair.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Reminds me of the housemaid. Right? You the housemaid, yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

So Brian Friedman, you know Brian Friedman, he represents Justin Baldoni in the Blake Lively suit. He represented Armstrong, and the divorce battle was only over spousal support, which has been resolved since for an undisclosed amount. But Armstrong said the$50,000 a month that he offered was way too little and he could not survive on that. That's$600,000 a year. He said that wasn't enough. And then his excuse was, well, Geffen spends$3 million in one day, so I should be entitled to more. And they also accused Geffen of hiding his finances. But my question, two questions. One, why no prenup?

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Why? Like he's clearly smart enough to start all these companies and make billions. He's not smart enough to get a basic prenup. Yeah. Like, tell me you're stupid without telling me you're stupid. And also, these celebrity divorces kill me. You see this all the time. Like,$300,000 a month is not enough. I need more. You see that all the time. Like Kevin Costner's ex-wife. Yeah. Like, what is going on?

SPEAKER_02 29:28

What was he expecting? You know what you're getting.

Ideal First Date And Safety

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Like Yeah. Like it's just mind-boggling to me. That's crazy. I thought that was interesting. So, what is your ideal first date?

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Oh, we gotta do something like golf, mini golf, like bowl. Like, I'm not, don't take me to dinner. Really? I'm I'm so polar opposite, do not take me to dinner. Um, I I feel like there's I I I I wanna have like some fun competition. I think it's like good to see somebody when they're competitive on a first date, because then like you see some of their two colors, because they can get like feisty when like you're like a girl's beating them in something. So I I I don't know, like something fun, like go to a bar, do arcade, go to a mini golf, like just something like fun and light, so there's not as much pressure. Like I went on like a first date on like coffee, I've been on a first dinner date. I hated both of them. I felt so awkward, and I just I felt like and then in terms of like doing stuff like that, I feel like I can let loose, I can have fun. You have something to distract you if it's going bad, like yeah, so yeah, and I feel like you can see like a glimpse into then when they get like when men get competitive, it's kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

And you can kind of cut it off too, yeah. Cut it off or extend it, like oh, this is gonna be the last game. Like I this is working. Yeah, or something. But then it's like, but if you're at if you're doing like an arcade thing or whatever, it's like you can extend it. Yeah, if it's going good, keep going. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Yeah. I'm just thinking our last guest said that his last first date, he drove the girl to Sedona to Stargaze. Uh-huh. Isn't that kind of dodgy? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable getting in a car with someone and driving to Sedona, right? Like, what if you drive into the woods and you're never seen again? Exactly. That's a lot of how the true story is.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Why?

SPEAKER_01 31:12

She was a trusting little soul. Yeah, she was.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Unless they like knew each other previously. Yeah, no, absolutely not. I would never do that. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

Right? I never thought about that until now. I don't know how I'd feel about that. At nighttime, they left at nine o'clock at night. Night. Yes. That's even worse.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

I know. Well, for one, that's past my bedtime. Oh my god. I'm never seen again.

Rapid Fire Red Flags And Dealbreakers

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Oh yeah. So now it's time to get to know you with Zoya, sponsored by Zoya, your neighborhood yogurt. Rapid fire style. So are these red flags to you or no? Splits the bill on the first date.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Still follows their ex on Instagram. Yes. Has roommates when they're over 30.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Doesn't like dogs. Yes. Posts Jim Selfie's Daily.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Bad tipper.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Says I don't do labels. Yes. Has no social media at all.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

No.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Talks about crypto on the first date.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Calls their mom every single day.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Orders for you at dinner without asking. Yeah. How do you feel about that? We've never talked about that. If a guy orders for you, I think I'd kind of like it because I eat everything. I like it.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

So I but I want us to have a conversation about what I like first. Like if it's like I I'm I'm thinking about getting this or I'm thinking about getting this or this or this. Like as long as he asks me what either my like tastes are, my preferences, or what I'm interested in eating on the menu, I like it if a guy orders something.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

I mean, yeah, I think that, or if you're dating for a while. But yeah, if it was like a first date, second date, maybe, and he was just kind of like, oh, I'm gonna get you this. I'm like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

If it's like a if it's like a she'll have the salad, no dressing. Like it's like no, like that's not okay. It's not okay with me. Maybe the steak and potato.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

You've seen that in movies though, where they're like, I'll have this and she'll have the blah blah blah, but she'll have the ni sois salad.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

I really didn't want that for dinner, but you know, okay. Here we are.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

Are they being controlling or are they trying to be gentlemanly? Like, why do guys do that?

SPEAKER_02 33:14

I think it depends on I think it uh to be honest, I think it kind of depends on the generation. I think the older generation, it it was more of like a gentlemanly thing.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

Now they just kind of think want to just like show that they're in charge.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

But it's weird because some people do have a lot of people now have allergies or you know, gluten allergies, or they're vegan, or you know, so it's kind of risky business to do that nowadays. It is.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

That's why I think it's if you if you're like having a conversation about it.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

And I can imagine a lot of women nowadays would be up in arms about that.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

I can make my own decisions on my own person. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I I I I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

I like it. I like it. It's just the person has to either know me well enough to know what I want, or we have to have a care enough to find out.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Yeah, exactly. Where should someone not take you on a first date?

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Um, I don't I don't know, coffee.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Is watching porn considered cheating?

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Uh yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?

SPEAKER_00 34:11

No.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date?

SPEAKER_00 34:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

In one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Um I am fun and outgoing, and like honestly, I'm not I'm not the as you should type of girl. I'm just a very echo with the flow, have fun, enjoy life. And honestly, it's like you don't find that too often.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

It's true, you don't find that too often. Okay, last are you are you in or are you out? He's emotionally unavailable but hot.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

Just dealt with that. No, we're good.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

Great communicator, but no ambition. No. Obsessed with you and treats you amazingly, but he's bad in bed. He's loaded but old and ugly.

unknown 35:02

No.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

He has a private jet and buys you whatever you want, but he can't keep it in his pants. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Doesn't want to oh, but he doesn't want to commit. And then last, uh, do you have a special talent that no one knows about? Or something that you don't tell too many people?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Um, it would probably be the singing. I mean, I don't really like, I don't bring it up ever. So I feel like maybe that's it. Like I'm not bad.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

And last but not least, what's your favorite sexual position am I?

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Oh. Um that's like an in the moment type of question.

SPEAKER_01 35:31

Yeah. Um you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

I I I'm like, that's like a good question. I mean, I don't want to say like missionary, but like I feel like if there's like intimacy, missionary. But like if not, I feel like I don't like let I don't even know what it's called, laying flat in there behind. It's not doggy, but it's something similar to that. What am I thinking of?

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Yeah, I don't know what the word for it is, but I know what you're talking about. I would also just like to comment on your people pleasingness, Lindsay. You ask a question and then you're like, oh, but you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. If it's offensive to you, you don't have to answer it.

Filters Catfishing Height Lies And Close

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Do you have any other questions? No. I do want to make one comment. So a lot of times we have guests on the show that um they're so pretty in their Instagram and their TikTok, but they use filters and they come in and you know, you're the you are so beautiful in person. Like you are so I I mean you're beautiful in your TikTok and your Instagram, but you are like so much more beautiful in real person, which is like surprising to see nowadays with all the filters, you know. But you are just stunning. Oh my gosh. Thank you. I don't know. I know, I it's usually the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

I don't know how to use that stuff. So I I use like a quick visco and say, I don't think you know. I I don't like I have friends that do that, and then like they'll go on a date and they're like, he like said I wasn't anybody that I looked like, and I I never want to like be in that position to be like a catfish, you know. And like, I mean, it's like nowadays you see that and it's hard because you want to compare yourself to the skinny girls and like twigs, and like and the I I'm not built that way. I'm athletic built. I played basketball my whole life, and like I don't ever want to like hide that. I don't and I'm I'm tall too, so that's like another thing. Guys lying about their height, like you know, why I'm never gonna like, yeah. I just don't I feel like guilty if I even like try to do an airbrush.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

I don't even know how, but I don't want to disappoint people, you know.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

I feel like that would be the worst.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

It would be the worst. Like you'd be a catfish, yeah. Ugh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

Yeah. How tall are you? Five'eight. Oh, okay. Yeah, you are tall. Yeah, I'm like taller for a girl. So it's like and then all the guys in Scots are like to lie about their height. Like all the time. If they say they're 6'1, they're 5'10. There's no question. There's no question.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

Ain't it the truth? Thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market, and thank you so much, Jocelyn. If you want to snag a date with Jocelyn, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to save money this tax season and keep more of it in your own wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market. Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.