SHE SAID NO TO A PRIVATE JET. DO WOMEN ACTUALLY WANT A RICH MAN?

Bartending Life And Workplace Drama

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So Leah, you used to go to ASU, right?

SPEAKER_02 0:02

I did.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Was it crazy? Do you have any crazy stories?

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Not really, because I was a non-traditional student. So I was working full-time, not full-time, but I was a bartender and uh worked my way through school.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Where'd you bartend at?

SPEAKER_02 0:14

So everywhere. Really? Where didn't I?

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Was it near the campus?

SPEAKER_02 0:18

No, I actually worked in North Scottsdale.

unknown 0:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

But you have some crazy stories from those days. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

What was that place?

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Clan Clancy's? I've heard of Clancy's. Did you ever you never bartended there?

SPEAKER_02 0:29

No, I worked at like Kona Grill, Local Bistro is in North Scottsdale.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Um did you ever get a lot of rich men hitting on you? Yes. All the time, I bet. Yes, a lot of golfers.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Really? Yeah. So did you ever date any of them? You don't like golfers? Why don't you like golfers? Drunk? Because they just think they're really cool and they're not, in my experience.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

And I bet they feel like they can get any woman because they have money and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Did you get like sugar baby propositions?

SPEAKER_02 0:58

I did not because I had a boyfriend while I was doing that. Now I'm single. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

I probably I feel like if I were a single bartender, I would say I had a boyfriend, even if I didn't. That's what you're supposed to do. Because I feel like that's the best excuse.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

It is.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

But then what if you actually meet someone? You get a reputation for having a boyfriend. But what if someone actually does pique your interest? Oh, I heard you had a boyfriend, and you're like, fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Yeah. Well then you break up with your boyfriend in a boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

A lot of bartenders date each other. So that's what I always did.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

I dated people I worked with. So don't they say that's a bad idea?

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Yes, they do. Did you ever have any drama at work? Yes. Yes. Yes. All the time. I'm so glad I'm not in that industry anymore.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Does it is it true that everyone sleeps with everyone? Absolutely. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's gonna be kind of awkward, no?

SPEAKER_02 1:52

It would be, I think. Oh yeah. One time, me and my ex, we were together for five years, and we both bartended together behind the bar, same shifts and everything, and we broke up and we still had to work together.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Oh yeah. Like forever, or like for as long as you guys still worked there. Yeah. Because it was the best, you probably were on the best shifts. Yeah. And so you don't want to give up the best shifts.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

That's gotta have been tough. Yeah. And then was it tough to like see him date other people?

SPEAKER_03 2:20

Oh yeah, for sure. Were you cool? Were you petty?

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Yeah. Yeah. This was in my 20s to be fair, but yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

I feel like if I would if I were a bartender in my 20s in that situation, I would have been petty. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

What do you mean, petty? Like jealous of his interactions with the customers? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Jealousy. Well, a lot of the interactions with like him and the female servers and stuff like that. So yeah, I'll be honest. I was petty.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

So petty, just like petty, just like making little comments. Yeah. Just being just attitude. Just like getting an attitude. I think I would have had an attitude.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

So what was your degree in? It's healthcare, entrepreneurship, and innovation. So it's in the same college as uh the nursing school at ASU. I actually went downtown to the downtown campus. I didn't go to Maine.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

And uh have you graduated? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Oh, nice. In 2018.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

And what do you do now?

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yeah. I work for CVS now. Oh. Corporate. Yeah, I work in finance. Nice. Yeah. So I come a long way.

Dating Apps And Hookup Culture Fatigue

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Are you on the dating apps? I am on dating apps. How is that going? Not good. Oh no. I mean, okay, so I don't want to say it's not going good because I don't want to breathe life into that. You know how you're supposed to like have a positive. Yeah, you're supposed to manifest it. Some is good, some is bad, but I feel like today is just a lot of hookup culture. And that's all people kind of want it's like instant gratification. Like, okay, next, next, next. Okay, I get the ick. Okay, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Ghosting. It's exhausting.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

A lot of the few good guys that I know, the one good guy that I know, but a lot of the good guys, they don't do the apps anymore. They're they're like, I like to meet meet people in the wild. It's more natural. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

I would love that. And I did, I have done both. And I go off the apps too. Like a couple of weeks ago, I just went off for two weeks, I think, or was that last month? And it was really nice. It was a nice break.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

But I guess it's hard though. If you work from home. Yeah, exactly. And you don't like to party. Like, where do you meet people? I guess the gym, the grocery store. It's hard.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Well, I like to party, but with my girlfriends.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Yeah. Where do you guys go out?

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Scott's cell? Downtown. Oh, downtown? I was just here last night. Where what places? Um, there's this new place that opened up called the Roosevelt, and it was made by a DJ. So there's like a sound system throughout the whole building. It was so cool. It was really cool. Yeah. So

Meeting People Offline Through Hobbies

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I like downtown a lot.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

That's awesome. I think you have to have like you have to have hobbies. If you're not a going out person, like you have to just develop hobbies. Like running club? Something that you're interested in. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

But what if your hobbies are like stuff like working on the car or hobbies that aren't involved in other people?

SPEAKER_03 5:07

So there's car clubs and there's meetup groups. And there's like there's all kinds of.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Okay, but devil's advocate car clubs, meetup groups for car clubs, there's probably not that many women there, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Um, have you seen, have you ever been to like a show or a carnada? Yeah, there are lots of there are lots of pretty women, yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

I I was thinking more like fixing cars, working on cars, you know. Yes, I'd been to the car shows. I love the car shows, but I was talking more of if you like to fix cars on the engines. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

So most people in car clubs enjoy working on cars because they're into classic cars and they're building classic cars. So that that would be something that you'd meet like-minded people.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

And there's events, like there's like cars and coffee on high street in North Phoenix, like there's especially there's like a Porsche meetup group in Old Town Scottsdale, I think, on like Saturday mornings or something like that. Like you can find your people like on the most re random things that you like. But like there is a group for you, like there are people out there.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Yes, there are. And I've tried other things, like I've tried country dancing, like two-stepping, I've tried getting into pickleball, just to like get myself out there. Cause I work from home and I'm a mom too. So half the time, like on my free time when I don't have my daughter, I need to be doing this stuff so I can meet people.

Dating As A Mom And Safety Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Does that make it difficult to date having kids?

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Uh, yes and no. Um, it's different because I'm separated. Well, we're never married, but I have free time. So like this weekend I had free, so I was able to do stuff. And a lot of moms don't have that.

SPEAKER_03 6:43

So you have a good co-parenting relationship. Oh good. Yes. Absolutely. Did you have a healthy relationship with him at one point? Or did you go from like toxic? You went straight from toxic to one baby to baby to like reckless apps. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Basically. Yeah. Okay. And I'm the type of girl that's always had a boyfriend, like high school, 20s. This is the longest I've ever been single.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Are you enjoying it? Are you having fun?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I'm having fun. Yeah. It's honestly in women in their 30s are just I like my space, I like my life, I like going to the gym, I like going to yoga. And if a guy comes, that's great. Um but yeah, I have met guys organically like at the gym, but the standard has been set very high after having a kid.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Oh, I can imagine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

How old are you kids? Uh, she's two. Oh, yeah. You just have the one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yeah. So, and I don't think, in my experience, the last two years, I don't think men find that intimidating, especially like older guys. A lot of people my age have kids anyways. It's true. So, one is manageable, you know? Totally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Yeah. How do you feel about introducing her to people?

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Uh, not unless it's like very serious. I actually had a guy that I met on a dating app. I went out with him twice, and he was asking way too many questions about my daughter, and it made me feel really uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

We've had another guest say that same thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Yeah, I was like, You have to be super careful.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

That is men who ask a lot of questions about the kids.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Yeah. And it's like, you're supposed to be getting to know me, not saying weird, like, oh, me, you, and your daughter should go up north. And I'm like, absolutely not. You're not meeting her. That's so crazy. I know the audacity. That's serious.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Yeah. And that's crazy that they'd ask so many questions so early on. Like so early. What the hell? I know.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

And he was like, How's your relationship with her dad? And I was like, I don't want to talk about that with you. That's weird.

First Date Horror Stories And App Weirdness

SPEAKER_02 8:40

So do you have any crazy first date stories? I do.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Spilly.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

I went on this date with this guy who drank an outrageous amount. Like, I'm fine having drinks on a first date. It kind of loosens, you know, makes us more comfortable. But he like FaceTimed me that night eight to ten times, and I had to block his number. Like it was just like weird. You never know who you're going out with, you know?

SPEAKER_01 9:09

So that's kind of creepy. He called you once, twice, three, four times, four. That's psychotic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

It was weird. So, and just like, I don't know, things guys say like, yeah, like women are such trash on apps. And I'm like, why are you saying that to me? Like, we met on an app, right? So I'm wary of the apps, to be honest. But my best friend met her long-term boyfriend on an app. My friend in my book club met her husband on an app. And then my best friend who does my hair met her husband on an app.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

It can happen. I met my husband on Tinder. Tinder?

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Out of all of them, that's so I'm that's not the first time I've heard that. I feel like it's a needle in a haystack. That gives me hope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Don't lose hope. I wonder though, if can you tell the type of person when you're scrolling the apps if they're gonna be genuine or not? I want you know, not until you talk to them in person, I feel like. I think so too.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

I don't know. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

And I do think I met my husband like 11 years ago, 12 years ago. I think they've changed since, haven't they? A lot? Totally. I heard they're not as good anymore. They're not like there's a lot of scammers on there. There's a lot of like OnlyFan models trying to get customers.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

There's a lot of people in relationships looking for a third. What?

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Yes.

unknown 10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

That's crazy. I had that because specific websites for that. Oh, specific apps. There are apps for that?

SPEAKER_03 10:32

There's like fetish apps that are supposed to be. Yeah, I'm not on those. They're not supposed to be on just the normal. They're not supposed to be. But I think I think the complaint sometimes with the fetish apps is it's a lot of really weird people. And there's a lot more scammers, I think. Oh, yeah, for sure. There's less restrictions. And so I think there's a lot more scams to sort of filter through on those apps. And so then they think, well, what I'm looking for isn't that weird. It's just a third. Yeah. Let me just go on.

unknown 11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

And it's like a lot of movies in that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

It's pictures of them and a couple, and like it says in their bio or in their whatever on their page, like looking for someone else to join us. And I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 11:19

So weird. I remember when I was on the apps, I went on a couple dates with guys that I because I was pretty well connected when I was in my 20s that I found out were married. Like multiple guys I'd gone a day, and people are like, You do know he's married, right? Like, and the wives didn't know. Yeah. Like that's scandalous to me. Like, how stupid can you be to put your picture out there publicly when you're freaking married? I know.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

That's pretty cool. I know. Idiot. I had a friend that was a bartender, and she had got would get propositioned by couples as a bartender in Scottsdale.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Did that happen to you a lot?

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Yeah. That's happened to me. Yeah. I know. I also used to serve uh the whole Arizona Coyotes team. They would come in. One of them drove like a matte black Lambo. Like he thought he was hot shit. I mean, he was hot, but yeah, I've I've seen some crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

I don't think let's just say me and my husband were into that. I don't think I'd have the balls to go up to some random person and proposition them because what if they're not into that? It feels cringe. It's awkward. It's awkward.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

But on the other side, how if you were into that, how would you get someone? That's true. That's true. Without asking, you have to. Like you have to go up and proposition.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Otherwise, unless you want to join one of those apps where apparently there's yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

It's difficult. So I know. Or you could go to one of those swing parties. Don't you can't you go to those parties where everyone at this party you know is open to Yeah, but how do you get the invite to that if you're not putting yourself out there into that?

SPEAKER_02 12:47

There's like signs, like I guess, in the swinger community. So I've heard I'm not a swinger. But if you have like an upside-down pineapple, like on your car, like some color of lights. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Like a purple light on your on your front porch or whatever. An anthem, I think.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yes. I've heard that.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

And I'm sure there've got to be Facebook groups for that kind of stuff for you. Yeah, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Do you know of any? What's the name? I know.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

There's a Facebook group for everything. There is, yeah. Lovely couples looking for a third.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

It's so crazy how common that is now.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

I had a guy on, it's crazy how like sexual the comments are too. Like he goes, I want to watch you and other men. And I was like, that's the first thing you're saying to me. That's so weird. And I like reported him and everything.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

That was like the his pickup line.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Wow. Remember.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

And I'm like, this is this is awful. Like, I gotta get out of here. Have you ever walked out mid-date? I have. Tell us the story. Um, well, I couldn't walk out because he drove me. It was a second date. Um, but it was that guy that was like asking way too many questions about my daughter, and I will never be picked up for a date again after that. That was my first mistake.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

You learned a couple lessons on that one, didn't you?

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Yeah, I did. And he was like, Do you want to go somewhere else after this? And I was like, No, I think I'm ready to go home. Like, you can drop me off now. So it was like we weren't even done eating, and I was like, Yeah, my stomach really hurts. Like, I just want to go home. Oh, it was

Cheating, Deal Breakers, And Dating Standards

SPEAKER_02 14:20

really awkward.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Have you ever been cheated on?

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

How did you find out?

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Uh, it was actually when I was a bartender. Uh, the guy that I was dating ended up right like having an emotional affair with one of the servers while we were still together, and now they're married. Oh my god. Yeah. Are they still in the industry?

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Um, I don't think so. No, I don't know. It's been a long time. I was gonna say, it's that's so Vanderpump rules. Oh, totally, totally.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

That is hurtful. Yeah. Ultimate betrayal. Oh my god. So you how long were you dating for? Five years. Oh, and then you had to see him like flirting with this girl, and then you broke up and you still had to work with him while he was dating.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

I didn't work there anymore, so they were sneaky about it, but we still live together and they were dating. Wow. Yeah, because him and I lived together. We were together for five years.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

That has got to be so hurtful.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

Yeah. Now they're married. Ay, ay, aye. I know. It's like kind of nice not being in a relationship because I don't have to worry about any of the drama.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

Uh, but yeah, that was because you know she worries about him. Totally. Because you get him, you lose him how you get him. Well, right? I don't think she's worried about him, but who knows? Yeah, who knows? He could do the same thing to her. It's that's what I'm saying. Yeah, for sure. Um, so what are you looking for then?

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Um, I I'm 35, so I've been around the block. I've done, I've paid my dues. It's not my first rodeo. I want I'm dating with intention. I really want to be married, I want more kids. So you do want more kids. I do. Yeah, I love being a mom. So, but it's just crazy because I feel like a lot of men my age and younger are not ready to settle down. So that's just what it seems like.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Especially here, I feel.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Maybe in Nebraska, but I feel like here it's like you see 60 year olds that are like still not ready to settle down. I know.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

It's like when I know. Sometimes on the are you date or are we dating the same guy page because sometimes I see guys in there and I'm like, that is someone's grandfather. Like, what like are we still like these men are still out here just being dogs? Yes, like still, yeah, like this person is in their 60s. Yeah, when are we doing men grow up?

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Well, it's funny how we knew people in the scene, and I'm not gonna name names, but that went like 20 years ago when we were out partying that these guys were and they were older than they were in their 40s then. Still out in the scene doing the same. Bachelor's for life. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

I feel like this is a mecca for the for those kind of.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

I mean, there's there's good guys out there too. And like I go to church, and you know, there's most of the people there are married, but yeah, I just feel like it's hard to come by. I went out with this guy that asked me out at the gym, which is like I love that. Like, that's preferred for me. But he he was 40 and was a man child. I couldn't believe how immature he was.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

So we just were having a conversation about this. How did he approach you in the gym?

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Okay, so he was kind of like hovering. I wasn't on a machine or doing squats or anything, I was stretching and he was kind of just like I could tell I like took my AirPod out and he was like, Hey, and I was like, How how's it going? Like, and he was kind of awkward about it, but I don't mind when guys come up to me at the gym as long as they're not weird. Um this is so funny. We literally just had this exact same conversation with someone else. Yeah. This is so funny. I mean, I prefer it. Like, I'd love to date someone who goes to the gym, you know.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

But then what if you date and it goes bad? It didn't go back and you break up. And so now, but now so now do you see him? I have not seen him. He probably switched gyms. I hope.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

He's a loser. So how did it go back? So wait, first go back. Well, so what was his line? So you said, hey, how's it going? And what what did you say? I don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

He was like, um, I don't know, like, what are you working out today, or would you like to go out sometime? I don't know, something super casual.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

So then you went out, and why did it go bad?

SPEAKER_02 18:23

So we actually went out four times, and it was the closest thing to a relationship I've had in the last two years. He basically got upset with me because I didn't pay for uh one of our meals that we went to. And he was like extremely selfish and like did not okay. So for Valentine's Day, he got me, he didn't even text me or call me on Valentine's Day. I had my daughter that weekend. The next morning he dropped off half off falling apart roses to save money on roses. Yeah. And he's 39. Wow. Ex-military. So I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Did he did he pay for three of the four updates? And it was like, was it supposed to be like buy three, get one three on you or something?

SPEAKER_02 19:19

When I told him off, he was like, I can't believe you didn't even pay for our $10 burgers the other day. And I'm like, I'm a single mom and I'm the woman. Like I get like helping out every now and again, but you're supposed to be wooing me. Yeah. And I'm a single fucking mom. Like, I'm not out here, like, yeah, I'll pay eat tonight for dinner. Like, no. He also set the he also kind of set the bar. Like he set the bar by paying, paying. He did. And the first date was really nice, like a steak dinner. So I was like, oh, okay, this is great. Like he's got this.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Like he's got it. If he's bitching about a $10 burger, like he's complaining about you not paying for $10. He can't afford $10.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

I know. Like, it's just the principle. And then when I told him off, he was like, Oh, you're a little entitled shit, aren't you? Oh, wow. Yeah. And I was like, You're fucking 40 acting like this. Like, no wonder you're still single. Yeah. Wow. I know. Telling a single mom who works hard that she's entitled is that's preposterous.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

He for sure switched his gym time.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

Yeah. I hope. I hope to never see him again.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

He didn't even have a job.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

He was in between jobs. He just got his real estate license. He just bought a huge house, bought a brand new 2026 truck, and you're telling me that I need to pay for dinner. Maybe you shouldn't have bought those things then.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

And it's not like you demanded to go to the global ambassador and get $30 drinks.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

He was the one who, yeah, had the idea. Yeah. Yeah. The audacity. I know. I'm like, I hope my daughter never experiences that.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

What are your deal breakers?

SPEAKER_02 20:56

If someone's rude to the server, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Good one.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

1000% no. Um, if they want to split the bill on the first date, that's also unacceptable. Like, I want to be felt like they're trying to win me over. You know what I mean? Um if they talk and chew, I know that's kind of petty, but I can't stand it. Um, just like mannerisms, you have to be nice.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

What are your physical, what type do you go for physically?

SPEAKER_02 21:28

I don't really have a type physically. I really love dad bods. I love guys that work out. I love short kings. It's all around. You like short kings? I do. If they're nice. How tall are you? Um, I look taller because of these shoes, but I'm 5'4. Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

So a couple of short kings. They're so nice. I feel like short kings are so nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Short kings are underrated.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

They are underrated.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

They are. Single dads also are underrated.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

Agreed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

The good ones.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Real single dad. Real good single dad.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Real good single dad. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

Not shitty. Yeah. Dead beats. Wanna wannabe. Single daddy closers. That's funny. But yeah, I don't I don't have a type all over the place.

Listener Marriage Fight And Alcohol Rage

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Are you ready for it?

SPEAKER_03 22:12

I'm ready for it. The keep more minute. Brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet. We help you keep more in your relationship. Okay, so we have a listener question. It's long. It's a story. Okay. Who says we're working through the worst fight of our marriage slash relationship and need advice? My husband and I went to our friend's wedding last night, and while we were both drinking, he got belligerently drunk. When we were leaving, a bunch of people were talking about going to another spot after, which he had agreed to earlier in the night. Out of nowhere, he got upset for seemingly no reason. It seemed like a switch flipped, ordered an Uber, and said he was going home. My friends tried to talk to him, but he wasn't having it. I had my friend drop me off at home while I waited for him to get back in the Uber. When he walked up, he came storming, hit the hood of his car. And then when he came in and I tried talking to him, asking him why he act why he's acting like that, he told me that I'm being a bitch and then told me he wants a divorce and that he's sick of me because I don't do anything. What? Um he got pissed and told me that he that he hates that he can't even open the closet, then literally threw all my stuff out of the closet. I told him that he needs to stop drinking and that he's being an asshole. She said we ended up going to bed separately. And this morning he took a shower and I asked if he wanted to talk about last night. He said no and left to go meet up with his sister, who I get along with well, which was planned beforehand. I have no idea what caused this outside of the alcohol, but he's never resorted to name calling and has never acted like this before. He has admitted that in the past, when he's mad, he said mean things to get a reaction because that's what he had to do when his alcoholic mother was bothering him. Has anyone else been able to work through a really bad fight like this? I don't even know what to do after hearing a lot of what was said.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

Two things come to my mind. First, alcohol, I feel like when you're when certain people are drunk, you can get mean and say things you regret, and it's just it can be bad. Two, do you think this is something building up? Do you think he's cheating on her or he's just over it? And then when you drink, it just all comes out. You know, you know, sometimes you're kind of over it, you're checked out, and then you drink and you just freaking explode.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

Yeah, but I I don't think that because he's checked out and over it means that he's cheating on her.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

No, maybe not, but I know a lot of people when they're checked out, if they've met someone, then that triggers them to kind of do things like this to end it. You know? Yeah, maybe like piss her off so that it's a way to end it so they can kind of move on. Something underlying is going on. Something underlying is going on.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

I think it sounds like he probably has a little issue with the with the alcohol. It does.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

And the throwing the clothes out and the name calling, that's unacceptable.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Alcohol can be the devil. It really can be. Totally. You're telling me.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

Yeah. And I feel like it does sort of bring out the truth. Like it, it makes you, it lowers your inhibitions. And so you say what you truly feel. Agreed. And so when people say I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it. I was just drunk, I didn't mean it. But it's like, but the thought was in there somewhere. You know, the thought was already in your brain.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

That's what makes when he was spouting out things like, you're a bitch, you don't do this, you don't do this. It's coming from somewhere. He feels that way. He just has the confidence to say it. Yeah, because of the alcohol. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

I'd be out to if it were me, I'd be done.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

I'd be done.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

Well, a deal breaker. The other thing too is he said divorce. Yeah. Like, as soon as you say that word, like it's over for me.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

I agree. And I know people that have thrown the word divorce around and they end up getting divorced. Yeah. Like my husband and I have never, even in our biggest fights, we have never said the D-word. Yeah. You know, ever. I don't think you can say that.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Like planting the seed, like just dropping it casually.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yeah. I would hate that. I do think if they drink a lot, like I ended a long-term relationship because every time he got drunk, he got physical. Not on me, but punching things, breaking things, pushing holes in the chair. Yeah. And I feel like it was only a matter of time before, you know. And I just I got scared. I couldn't do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

So yeah, that's a I think she should move on. I think so too.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

It's hard to say because it's like someone else's, you know, marriage and relationship, and everyone, like we don't know what's actually going on, but the aggression is really bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The 777 Rule And Scheduled Intimacy

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Have you guys heard of all these dating rules? I feel the 777 rule now. No. So the 777 rule is a viral relationship framework designed to help couples maintain emotional and physical intimacy by scheduling regular, interrupted quality time. It outlines three distinct milestones: a date every seven days, an overnight stay away every seven weeks, and a vacation every seven months. So every seven days you go on an intentional date night or distraction-free outing, phones away, focusing purely on each other. Every seven weeks you plan a mini getaway or a single night away together at a local hotel retreat. And every seven months you take a longer, dedicated, romantic vacation together. The pros it prevents couples from sliding into a routine of being more roommates or household co-managers, ensuring the relationship remains an active priority. The cons, relationship experts note that a rigid checklist can create financial strain, guilt, or logistical stress, especially for those for parents or those with tight budgets.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

I was gonna say that would be hard to do with kids.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

It would be hard to do with kids. How do you guys feel about that?

SPEAKER_03 28:00

I like it. Yeah, you like it? I need a vacation a little more often than every seven months. Yeah. But I like it.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Well, it's funny because then they're like a lot of people were complaining, like, well, what if you don't have the money all the time? So then they they now have the 222 rule. So it's basically the same thing, but um every two weeks you go out on a date night. Because when you do have kids, it's kind of hard to go out every seven days. Especially if you don't have help. Exactly. And then every two months you go away for a weekend together, and every two years you take a vacation together.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Oh my god, that's even worse. That's though the other direction. No, I need it more frequently.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

People that don't have the money, you know, so it's lower pressure, but it's still I like it. I do think when you're married and you have kids, you do have to intentionally kind of schedule stuff like that because you can become roommates and co-managers of the house.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

Yeah, the effort. It's like it's just effort, you know. And if you are two people that aren't good at just naturally being effortful and purposeful in your relationship, something like this, I feel like is a good exercise to be more that way. Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

And quality time is not like sitting next to your person scrolling. Yeah. Like I want to be like playing a game or having conversation, engaging with each other. Yeah. Yeah. Doing something that's interactive.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Yeah, I like it. I would do it. And I feel like it's kind of easy to like our daughter has guitar. We drop off a guitar and it's only 45 minutes, so it's not worth us driving home. So my husband and I, every week when we drop off a guitar, we go have a glass of wine somewhere. Oh, that's true. Just for that 45 minutes, and that's enough time to just spend one-on-one time. Yes. You kind of got to sneak it in while you can. Right. Like I remember reading Rebecca Gayhard and her husband. Who was her husband? Oh, wasn't it Dane? He just recently got it. Oh, Eric Dane? Eric Dane. Yeah. They used to go to the grocery store together. That was their like date because they were so busy with their kids. Like, even just going to the grocery store, him and I together was like a cost code in. Yeah, I love that.

Celebrity Crime Shows And Cop Corruption

SPEAKER_01 29:56

So now it's time for the celebrity cut where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities. Did you guys ever see Mean Girl Murders, the show?

SPEAKER_02 30:02

I heard of it, but I can't watch murder shows because I live alone and I get scared. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

So it's this just every episode is a different case. Remember Mackenzie Sherilla? Did you see The Crash, the documentary?

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Uh I heard about that too.

SPEAKER_01 30:15

So she's one of the episodes. But every episode, it's these girls that kill someone, and it's mostly they kill another woman over a guy. And it's like, what guy is worth it?

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Yeah. Also the guy's fault, not you know what I mean? And it's like most of the time. Most of the time.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Usually it is.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

But it's to me, it's like, don't you think of the consequences? Like, you're so quick to kill this woman, so you can have the guy, but don't you think you're gonna end up in jail? They don't.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

They don't think that, right? They just want revenge.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

But like anyone that does this kind of crime, like I would be, I would never do it because I would never do it, you know. But also, I'd be scared to get caught and spend your whole life in jail.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Yeah. Some people just don't think it's like a passionate, you know, in the moment yeah, decision.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

But also, uh, I feel were a lot of them premeditated or were they crimes of passion.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

No, I think a lot of them were premeditated. Premeditated, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

So they're they're plans. Yes, they're plans. So it's like the regard for life. It's like this person took my man, so I'm just going to like unalive them. Yes. It's much where have we gone as a society that that's true. That that is the the thing that you have to worry about. Yeah. Like, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Like in these stories, like one of them was in a little town where they all worked at a cookie factory, and that you know, there was this guy that came into the cookie factory, and everyone thought he was the beesneys, and oh, she stole my man, that was my man, and she ends up killing the girl over it. It's like, what the hell? You never know.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

That makes me just scared to be on apps because you never know here. Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

And then there's another this in Vegas, they're all show girls or dancers, and there's this one male soaked de soleil dancer, which I guess if you're a dancer in Vegas, to be a soaked de soleil dancer is like really you know, high up there. And then she he started, you know, having eyes for someone, another dancer, and so she ends up killing that girl.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

That's terrifying. Yeah, I mean, it's been happening. It's been, I mean, it's always that's always been a thing, right? Like women jealous over other women and whatever, but like to go to that extreme is wild.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Like, yeah, and it's just I mean, even not killing, but like a lot of women sabotage other women to get the man. That's like, right? Do you really want to be with a man that doesn't want to be with you? And also, why aren't you blaming the man? Like she didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Yeah, why are you going after the other guy is willing to, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Yeah. So did you ever see a toxic relationship? You have to watch that. That's a documentary. I I'm kind of gonna spoil it here. Is that okay? So it's this couple they're together, and the ex-girlfriend is threatening this girl, sending her death threats. BD comes, beats her up, all this shit happens to her, and so she goes to jail. They find out that it wasn't her, it was the girlfriend that was framing all this, framing this girl, right? So then she goes to jail. It turns out it's not even her, it's the man behind everything. That's crazy. It is the man. And what's the first girl that went to jail? She comes out and she's like, no one was looking at him. Exactly. They looked at me, they looked at the girl, no one looked at the man involved.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

And terrifying being men can be more crazy. Yeah, that's manipulation. Just as crazy.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

And he was an ex-cop, or he was a cop. So he like got the cops to arrest the first girl, then the cops arrest. So he was like behind everything.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

I feel like, I feel like officers are uh at least a beige flag. That's a at least uh like I would personally never date a cop. Really? Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Are they supposed to be? I don't know much about it. Yeah. Why?

SPEAKER_03 33:55

They have, I think that's because statistically there's a higher rate of domestic violence with law enforcement officers.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Oh, I did not know that.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

And they're also like out arresting people for stuff they do, you know, so they're like a little hypocritical.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

And aren't they supposed to like protect their own? Like, wasn't there a case recently where a woman killed her husband cop because he was like abusive towards her, but she was actually in jail for killing him when it was self-defense, but all his cop friends were rallying around saying that it was her fault, trying to get her in jail to protect because he was a cop. Did you hear that story? And then she was finally found innocent, and all the women were like, Thank God justice was served.

SPEAKER_03 34:33

Yeah, I mean, I believe it. I don't, I haven't heard it. Yeah, I have no doubt.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

And then, did you hear the news? I read it yesterday. There were two cops that were arrested recently in town for uh a very violent traffic stop. Did you hear that? No, it happened here in Phoenix. Oh my gosh. Yeah, there were two cops that arrested someone and aggravated assault or did some shady physical stuff, and they just got fired and reprimanded.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Why would they do that if they have the body cam? I know. I know. It seems silly.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

I do love the body cams though, because there's a lot of documentaries now just with the body cam, like the Idaho Motors. Did you see that? A lot of the footage is of the body cams. Yeah. You can make a whole documentary just in the footage.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

That is so, yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 35:15

That is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Do they alter body cam footage though? Or no? They can. Yeah. You think production? I'm sure. You can't. Like after though. Like you could cover it, obviously, but can you edit it out? Oh, I'm sure you can edit it.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Cut what you say out. Yeah. And I'm sure, don't you think that happens a lot to protect the police?

SPEAKER_03 35:35

Yes. Yeah. Unfortunately, I do think that happens. If you say, like, oh, it's, you know, I love the documentaries because it's body cam and it's real, but it's like, but how real is it? You know what I mean? You have to be a little careful because they can, I think.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

You know, another amazing show is Furious. Have you seen Furious? Must watch. Have you seen it?

SPEAKER_03 35:53

Shows all scare me. I know. Both of us are like, no, no. Scared at night. I have to walk my dog after dark.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Like, I can't be watching these things. It's not to be, it's not to make you scared. Because have you, did you watch Dexter? So he's a serial killer, but he kills bad people. So this show, she's a female serial killer, but all the men she killed, she was human trafficked. So she was a victim since she was 14 years old by these high-powered men, and she went through some horrific stuff, and she's killing all the people that were involved and that did stuff to her. Um the reason I bring it up is right, yeah. You understand, you feel for her and you understand why she's doing this because she's so fucked up because of the shit that she went through and what she saw. Anyways, um, I bring this up because in this show, it and I'm sure this happens in real life, how cops can be so corrupt and they can be paid to sweep things under the rug and let guilty people go free. And it makes my blood boil how there's so much corruption in this world. Totally.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

And cops are out here like arresting people for weed. It's like what's the actual problem here? Not weed.

SPEAKER_03 36:56

A plant. A plant is the problem. It's the biggest problem that we have.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Yeah, so stupid.

Red Flags, First Dates, And Private Jets

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Now it's time to get to know you with Zoe, sponsored by Zoeya, your neighborhood yogurt. So are these red flags or no? They still follow their ex on Instagram. Yes. What if they're still friends with their ex? Yes. Bad Tipper?

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

Has no social media.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Green flag.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Where should someone not take you on a first date?

SPEAKER_02 37:19

They should not take me where they've taken another first date. It should be original.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Have has anyone ever taken you guys on a date and you're like, oh no, why did you bring me here? Has that ever happened to you?

SPEAKER_03 37:31

You're like disappointed, or you're like, this is not no, I've had a guy uh tell me somewhere, and it was just like a really like there was there were many really good restaurants around the area. I and I was in Dallas, which is where my sister lives, so I spend a lot of time there, but I don't live there full time. And so there are a lot of places I haven't been in town. And this guy suggested that we meet at Yard House, which is just like a chain restaurant, which is fine. It's fine, like it's a great place, but there's so many other the place, the area where this restaurant was, there's my sister's like, there are so many really great and it's not hard to find a cool place to go to. Yeah, she's my and even my brother-in-law was like, Wait, what? Yeah, he was like, when there's all these other places around where he could take you like taking you to Texas Roadhouse. It kind of. And so I I mean, but it was fine. Yeah, I I went and it was fine, and and we're like we're still friends. It wasn't it that's good, it didn't work out romantically, but he was uh someone who was really connected in the city, and so it's just like that makes it worse though. If he's connected, don't you know? You would think well, and so that's why it's like I can't date you, but I we had a lot in common, and he there was like a couple of things or whatever, and so it was like, no, we stay in contact, but it's like this isn't someone that I'm gonna date because the yard house. The yard house.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

How if you met a guy and on a first date, he had a lot of money, he wanted to take you on his private jet to Napa.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Uh, not for a first date. How would you feel? What if he's a serious serious one?

SPEAKER_03 39:12

I know I'd need to do, I think I'd need a government background check.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Yeah. If he flew me out and wasn't on the plane, maybe. And there was like other people involved.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Yeah, but would you get on a private plane without him? But how do you know that he's not gonna fly you somewhere else, you know? It's that's true. That's a good point. How do you know you're really going to NAFA? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

I don't think I'd it'd be a hard that'd be a hard sell for me for a first date. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Is watching porn considered cheating?

SPEAKER_03 39:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with? No. Is it acceptable to have sex on a first date? No. Do you have a secret talent that not many people know of? Or something that you don't tell many people? Secret?

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Um, I I feel like in another life I would have been a yoga teacher because I love it so much and I'm so passionate about it. But yeah, not really a talent. It's just a really fun hobby.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

In one sentence, why should someone date you?

SPEAKER_02 40:09

Someone should date me because I'm just serious. I'm ready to meet my person. I'm a good mom. I'm a hard worker. I've been independent for a long time, and I'm looking for my better half.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why?

SPEAKER_02 40:27

I mean, to be honest, my favorite sexual position is cowgirl because I orgasm easily. Easy question.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

Do you have another question? So I do want to make a comment. We're talking about private jets. I remember we met this one guy that has a private jet, and he was saying how um, or his friend had the private jet, I think it was, and he was telling us how his friend's older but dates all these young Scottsdale girls. And he's like, and every time they come on this private jet, they're fucking spilling their vodka cranberry and spilling their wine and like destroying this private jet. Well, that's what you get for inviting bimbos. Like I guess he used to like go to Old Town and just pick up these freaking groups of women. They'd just go. They would just go on this private jet and go wherever he would. Let's go to Vegas for the night. But it's like, I don't know if I would, you know. No, I wouldn't do that. Especially with human trafficking.

SPEAKER_02 41:15

And if you're like any answer, I would not go on the private jet.

unknown 41:20

Yeah.

Wrap Up And How To Reach Leah

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Well, thank you so much for joining us this week at the Meat Market. And thank you so much, Leah. If you want to snag a date with Leah, go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast and send us a DM. And thank you to our sponsor, Tactical Tax Strategies. If you want to preserve your wealth and keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. We'll see you next week at the Meat Market.