WHAT A BIKINI COACH KNOWS ABOUT WOMEN (THAT MOST GUYS MISS) 🤔

Catfish Cold Open And Welcome

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Oh my god, I just totally got catfished. He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.

Coaching Bikini Athletes And Dating Clients

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Welcome to the meat market. The single scene is the slaughterhouse, and we are here to devour it. We are your hosts. I'm Lindsay. I'm Jeff. And today, Sizzling Single is Kim. Welcome.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

So I have a question. So you coach women. Women bodybuilders for bikini contests. And some of them should be. She did a research. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

Have you ever dated one?

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Uh my partner currently is. Oh, really? She was one of my past clients. She was? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

And you fell in love coaching her?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

It just happened like systemically. Like it was just like around each other so much. We vibed. We hung out a lot of times. Even when she was my client, she's a very good client. And uh and no, I don't normally do that. Like she was the one-off. Okay. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Does she get a little insecure of you?

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Coaching women?

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Coaching women, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

I mean, I don't necessarily just coach women, I coach guys too, but you do, okay. In this, ever since I moved out here in Arizona, I feel like that's all I've been having for some reason. Uh I'm from California, by the way. Um, it wasn't a no, because she was part of their group too. Like, you know, they all work out together. I host like, you know, group workouts, or we'll hang out afterwards and you know, get to bond outside of the gym a little bit, but that's about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

So how did you get into this?

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Into which?

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Into coaching and bodybuilding. Are you a bodybuilding assessment?

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Where are we going personal here? Okay, okay, okay. So, long story short, I've been a trainer for about 10 years. Um, when I was a commercial gym trainer back in California, my rest in peace uncle was uh one of the usual bodybuilders there, very out outlandish guy, very outgoing. He was like, mind you, he's a retired Navy veteran, just like I am. But oh, I'm I'm a veteran, but he's a retired. He did this 20 plus years. And it made me nervous uh being around him because he was so accomplished, yet a lot older than me. At that time, I was around 26, 27, and he was already pushing 52. And this guy, if you saw photos of him, you'd be like, Oh, okay. He just looked that good. Like, and he pulled all the ladies just systemically, just they were just gravitating towards him. And I wasn't trying to replicate that. At that time, I was with my ex-wife, um, and she loved him as well. But because of him, he kind of influenced me to like, hey, he's like, You have a knack for this. Hey, you should get into bodybuilding coaching. I was like, You sure, Uncle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should do it, you should do it. Like, he had a high-pitched voice. Um and then I was kind of on the fence about it, but then I did a competition, and about a week later, he passed away. Oh, and we had talks of me taking it up a notch after my competition, like actually like start helping people out getting into it. Because it's a very hard divide getting into bodybuilding. Um and he believed in me, and I had to like do a lot of in-depth like reflection, like where I was going with my career, because uh he caught me where I just got in the military and I just wanted to work AC ASAP and I went right into a commercial gym to just be a trainer. But coaching is next level, it's like interpersonal a lot of times, a lot more communication, a lot more uh care, um, elements outside of the gym, even like personalized finances, relationships, you name it. And so I just basically got into it because I was influenced by him. Um that was I guess sorry, it's a little personal for me. Uh it would have made him happy knowing where I am right now.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

I'm sure he'd be very proud.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

He didn't see my my business blossom as it is now, but I know he's watching, you know. That's kind of where I am right now.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Because it looks like you're very successful at what you do.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I wish, I wish. I want to be it's very competitive. Uh the coaching space is very competitive, I'm sure in all fields.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

And especially here, too. Oh, yeah.

Boundaries And Jealousy With Clients

SPEAKER_00 3:43

The West Coast, definitely. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

So it doesn't it take a lot of like dedication and stamina and what's the word I'm looking for? Like, you have to be very strict about working out and your diet, right? I mean, for the athletes, yes. When you're preparing like for a show for one of the bikini shows.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Yeah, well, that's that's the thing, is like I get told this a lot, and I'm sure you caught this. Because I coach women and I'm a male, there's like these boundaries I have to cross. Like, we're talking about like, oh, you know, I can't coach, I can't, I can't have you as my coach because my boyfriend doesn't want me with a male coach, or I don't like, you know, like I have to deal with those kind of things, either the husband, the uh the partner, whatever case may be. Hell, maybe they're a female partner as well. Like they get a little jealous because oh, I can imagine. Yeah, because think about it. I'm with these people two to three hours, uh, maybe two or three times a week. Okay, you know, um, that's time that they could have spent with them, case maybe, or their kids even, which I do coach a lot of moms in that case. And you know, like for example, I just had a client compete last week. Uh, we had a six-month preparation and she's married. She has five kids. She's my age. I just turned 38. Um and I give her all the props in the world for looking amazing and just making it through. And I got emotional at her show, and you know, it's it's like that because it's almost like a relationship when you uh when you take on a client um in a very professional sense. Okay, like it's a it's a relationship because that now I know their inner workings. What is what is gonna trigger them, what's gonna cause stress, what's gonna impact their maybe their abs don't pop one day, but it'll pop the next day, you know. It's everything outside the gym that makes coaching very difficult in in the in my field.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Do you ever have women catch readings for you? Like or oh yeah, yeah, I can imagine that happens a lot because you're spending so much time with them.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Yes, yes. Um I would say there was an instance where this one gal did kind of like you know push the boundaries to me, like relationship-wise, even though she knew I had a uh that that was my ex-wife at the time. And it kind of like that's where I learned I had to put a barrier between us, like not just her, but every one of my female clients. Because this girl really liked me, and I didn't want to, you know, do anything to harm my marriage. That's that's the worst thing a guy can do, honestly. I'm not trying to say face here, because my my marriage was not the best, but I still didn't want to ruin everything that we built. You know, the finances, the family drama, the the connections, the hit, the memories, obviously. But that you know, that divorce is long gone. Um, and that past client, she moved on as well. But it did throw a kind of a wedge in my marriage at that time because she was very like um, I'm not gonna throw it all on her. I mean, obviously it takes two to tango. I never did anything with her, but it was just the time of what we spent outside the gym. And I learned from that.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

And I can see how some men would get insecure of their women working out with a male coach because you hear all the time that women leave their spouses for their personal trainers. Doesn't that happen all the time?

SPEAKER_01 6:37

I have a friend that I had a friend that slept with her personal trainer. Me too. And that was the reason why her husband divor divorced her. Me too. Yeah. Okay, that's that's happens all the time.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

That's a lot of context, yeah. Yeah. So you said you met your current partner, so you were the coach. And who made the first mood? Isn't that kind of awkward?

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Um, we kind of like started feeling catching feelings for each other going into her competition. This was in November of 2023, so like two years ago. And uh, we flew all the way to Florida for her competition because I was the only location that was set for the date that she had uh wanted to do it. And then after that show, like we kind of like looked at each other in the eye at the dinner table after she literally got off stage. You know, I cried at her show. It's just me and her. There's no other supporters there. And I said, honestly, um I have a lot of feelings for you. I think you obviously this we we we tangle a lot, and how about we just take the next step now that we're no longer a client and coach? That that's basically what I was waiting for. I was waiting to get her through her competition before I made that move, or that pitch at least. And she felt that too.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Oh, good. So does that make her feel more secure now when you're coaching other women? Because it would be still hard because you did still meet her and fall for her at work.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Fair point. Um, no, because she's there with me the whole process. Okay. She was at my competition with my female client this past weekend. Okay. Um, and she loves her. Like she gets along with her as well. Okay. So not every one of my clients she has a relationship with, like a even an interpersonal or even met them, because I have so many clients, not just locally, but also like in other states or cities. But for the most part, um, the last four girls I put on on stage in the last couple months, um, she met them on a personal. So, and no, she's not like, you know, my my girlfriend is really uh understanding of what I do, both in the fitness space, but also the adult space that I work in. So that's a communication thing that we uh established.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

That's good. And I'm sure there are things that you do as a man to make her feel secure in your relationship as well.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Like, do you sort of try to I mean, I I've told her like look, I was like, this is my quote. I was like, look, babe, I have absolutely nothing to hide from you. Right? I'm 38 years old now, or at that time I was 37. I was like, I'm nearing the cusp of being uh in my prime. So I just want to like just be humble, be set, you know, settle down. Like I was trying to with my previous marriage, which didn't work out. Um, and there was a lot of self reflecting and rebuilding. I saw many therapists try to get through that divorce, try to see where I am right now as an adult. Um, but because she also she's all about mental health as well. She sees her therapist and stuff, and she takes everything that they take in account. And I told her everything that I took in account. We we kind of merged right there. We understood that the dating scene is absolutely horrendous, especially in your 30s. Um, I wasn't even looking. And when like when I got fell for her, I wasn't looking. Like, I'm already busy with my other job, and you know, and I don't know. In my head, I was like, who'd want to date me? Because what I do is not normal. Both jobs. It's not like more morally speaking, it's not what a woman would want it. So when you left your ex-wife, it wasn't over another girl or another guy, it was uh it was more like cultural stuff because she's not from this country, and there's just a lot of things she didn't like about how things conducted here versus where she's from.

unknown 9:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

So what exactly is your other job? You said it's in the adult industry.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Uh yes, ma'am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Are you able to?

How He Entered OnlyFans Work

SPEAKER_00 10:04

I mean, the only way only one way to say it is uh I'm huh? You're a male.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

Are you an OnlyFans?

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Think above that.

SPEAKER_03 10:14

We've never had a male OnlyFans. So what content do you do?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Uh it says what you think it is.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

So you with other women, other OnlyFans? Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Other only OnlyFans creators, uh sometimes agency porn stars with like, you know, hey, we need a guy for this, you know, jump in there.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

And how did you get into that?

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Um, so this is okay, going back to like why it was hard to explain to my current partner. Um, I gave up on dating, you know, after my ex-wife, I was like, no, I'm never gonna find another partner again. But little be known, I got pulled into OnlyFans because I was coaching a lot of females already. And one of my clients was a big time OnlyFans creator at that time. I think she kind of retired now because she made her she made her move off and she moved on, okay? She only did her first state, she did it for like three years when it first came out. And um, I was coaching her at the time, and she wasn't the only one. I was coaching a lot of girls either in um the adult space, like porn stars, only fans creators, models, like actual runway models, uh car models. Anyone who any girl who gave a damn about their body, their image. That was who who my clientele were at the time. Um, and she just so happened to ask me, Hey Kim, uh I just found out you're you're single. Um, hope everything's okay. Mine if I asked, How do you how are you in bed? And I said, that's pretty subjective. You know, I said that I was like, I'm pretty, you know, depends. Do I just want to have sensation or just want to do I want to please that girl? Now I have a big uh at that time I had a really inflated ego. I was like, I wanted to prove myself, you know.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

I thought that was going somewhere else. I have a really big approve of all the Asian stereotypes.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Thank you, thank you. So that's that that's man, my girl knows this too. Like, I wanted to like, I mean, I'm sure I'm not sure you guys had an Asian male on your show before, but I'll say this growing up in America is very different for us. Um uh there's a lot of barriers we have to cross, all all the small dick jokes, all the oh, you're good at math jokes, which I was actually really, really bad. Yeah, I would copy the other Asian kid. Um, dude, I was bad. I was algebra until a senior, okay? Let's put it that way. Um, and then like I didn't really fall into the stereotypes of like being into grace cars or anything like that. Like, I was just never that kind of guy. And um, believe it or not, I'm going through this tribulation right now where I don't even know who my father is at this age because my mom basically uh lied to me.

SPEAKER_04 12:37

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

And so my girlfriend on Christmas Day, this past Christmas, she bought me uh um what do you call it? 23andMe or whatever was like the DNS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The kit. She bought me two kids. I'm like, all right. I still haven't opened them, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 12:50

What?

SPEAKER_00 12:51

No, I should have done it before this show, but a part of me is really scared because I never resonated with the Asian crowd growing up. Um, did I resonate with like, say, the Caucasian crowd, the black crowd? No, I just kind of just found whoever, you know, what felt organic. Where were you born and raised? Uh Philippines. Philippines. Well, no, I wasn't raised there. I moved here when I was like four years old.

SPEAKER_03 13:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

And I was basically raised like a Southern Californian wood. And um, yeah, I got stuck there through my 90s, exactly what I was saying. It's like punk rock this, metal this, you know, Tony Hawk proscater this. That that was my childhood. It wasn't the atypical Asian American um hyping up, you know, boba and anime and all that stuff. That came later.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

No, that all came later, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

And I knew because I had I had Asian friends, but I wasn't close to them by any means. It's almost like Asian by association. Like you walk in a room and then the other person walks to him, oh, you got chinky ass, I got chinky ass too. And like you kind of like, it's till this day, I'll go to a bar. It's it's still a thing. I just try not to look, you know.

SPEAKER_04 13:52

That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

And that's just who I am systemically, not because I'm trying to play a role or anything. I just think it's weird trying to uh find network or communion based off a something you didn't have the decision to do when you were born, you know, race. Like you can't choose to be Asian, you can't choose to be black or Mexican. It's just hey, this is who I am, and I wasn't raised that way either. So why would I?

SPEAKER_03 14:14

So going back to the OnlyFans thing, is your partner okay with you doing OnlyFans with other people?

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Do you do it with we wouldn't be together? Does she do it too? No, no, she doesn't. So she okay, so on record, okay, she's completely monogamous.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Yeah, like pure, basic monogamous. And I respect that. I respect anybody's uh relationship or sexual orientations. That's not my um, I don't think I'm in a position to do that. Never I have been. Um, and I am also monogamous, I don't date outside of her, like literally, I don't. So when I have contact with creators who want to work with me, I put that out there. Like, oh, they can kind of see it already. Like my Instagram shows my partner on it completely. And um, I mentioned, like, oh yeah, this, you know, my girlfriend might be there for the shoot or might not be there for the shoot. Uh, are you okay with that? You know, things like that.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Has she ever shown an interest in joining you?

SPEAKER_00 15:05

We talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it. But she's picky. Because obviously I work with mostly girls, and she's nowhere near bisexual in any way, shape, or form or attracted to women. She thinks they're beautiful, and she takes a lot of passion in her own, you know, hygiene and self-care and her image as well. Um, but we're planning to do some actually next month.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Yeah, I have a creator who uh hit me up and she's gonna be in town for a couple days, and my girlfriend showed interest. Maybe we can shoot with her.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Okay. Do you have many subscribers? Are you pretty successful in the OnlyFans market?

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Success is like weird because like I don't know how they base success on OnlyFans when it comes to like you you few, I'm sure you heard of it, the top percents or whatever. Um, I thought that percentage meant like how much money you make, but apparently not. Like, I've seen people brag about their percentage, and then like two months later, they'll post their percentage and then they're gone. Like they just like gave up on OnlyFans. So I guess it wasn't working out. Um, the way I structured mine, because it's not my main job, it pays the bills and I'm happy.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

So you do make decent money off of it.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

I guess that's decent. Yeah, like I just wanted to.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

You can pay your bills, yeah. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

So everything I do outside of that is my own, you know? Like that was my goal for me. I never wanted to fully commit to it because I don't know how it affect me, you know, like on a personal level, on a mental level. I've seen guys, uh, I think what inspired me is I watched this Jubilee social experiment. I'm sure you've seen a couple of those, right? And they brought in male porn stars and they asked them, um, and I recognize someone from the pornos, they asked them serious questions like this, like uh, how's your love life? And man, they a lot of them teared up, honestly. And that caught me. I was like, wait, these guys are living the life, like in turn, like the life, right? They're sleeping with like you know, 20 women a month or whatever case may be. Um why are they tearing up on camera saying that their relationship life absolutely sucks? So what that taught me was very compelling, and especially one gentleman he was crying. Um it's that because just because they're living someone else's fantasy doesn't mean it's what they really want. And I've I'm almost I'm almost like coming to that conclusion right now, and that's why I cherish my partner so much, is because she fills in the voids that none of those creators I work with will ever fill. You know, they're that's all on camera, that's an act most of the time. Sometimes we just have to play a role, sometimes we have to kind of fake the scene. But going back to her, I want to hug her and kiss her and like make sweet love to her at the end of the night. You know, that's she deserves that.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

That's awesome that you found someone that accepts you doing that. Is it different from men? Because we've had quite a few OnlyFans and female OnlyFans and porn stars on, and they have such a hard time finding a man that is okay with it. Yeah, yeah. Like, do you think it's women are more accepting? Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

I will I will tell you from experience from all the girls I worked with, the ones who are with who have a partner honestly was with them before they got into it. That's the the high ratio that I've seen. They knew who they were before, or they talked about it very strong. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Did your partner know about you doing OnlyFans before you?

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Oh, I talk about all my clients. Okay. Like, oh, by the way, I'm you know, I do some stuff on camera. Like, are you okay? Are you okay with me? Are you okay at me, like, you know, representing you as your coach?

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Do you do you also work with men on your OnlyFans?

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Not or just women? I mean no, no, no. I mean super straight. Okay. Okay. Um, I have worked with men with a female or multiple men, yeah. So that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

But like in like an orgy sense situation. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Um but not like I don't do anything with men.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Okay. Do you have do you have men though on socials like that are fans of yours?

SPEAKER_00 18:36

That's probably most of my fans.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

I've heard that from other male adult. I broke it down.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

I broke it down. I mean, and this is the percentages of 70% of my fans are male. Are men. 30% are definitely female.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

Yeah. All of your videos are you and another woman. Do you do stuff by yourself? No.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

No, so it's always. I'm not that kind of creative. I get where you're coming from. Like almost like a model kind of male creator. I feel like a lot of guys started off that way because they think they can make a couple dollars just swinging their penis around, which would probably work for some. But I don't know. I the reason again, I made my account because I was pulled into it by another creator who was my at that time client. So I was on a lot of her videos. She was making a lot of money off me. She's like, Well, you know, you should just make your own page.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah.

Identity And Asian American Stereotypes

SPEAKER_00 19:20

So I did. And then OnlyFans is a very, and not just OnlyFans, all the platforms now from like Fansly, Many Vids, um, all these um, I guess fan site service websites, they require you to be a verified creator, which means you have to like submit ID identification, tax information, all that stuff, and you have to keep it updated. So there's nothing that can um, I guess, cause legal issues in terms of like revenge, revenge porn or whatever the case may be. So it does protect me and everyone else, but I feel like um a lot of guys get redacted, you know, they they feel a little uh like they feel like that that's a big barrier for them to cross to show their face on camera. And so I respect any gentleman who does it and does it right. You know, we get frequently tested, we are very professional who we work with. If we are working with females or males, it doesn't really matter. Um a lot of times, honest to God, uh creating collaborations on on adult work to me is so easy in in comparison to what I do on the business on the fitness side. Like that stresses me out way more.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

It's true.

unknown 20:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

So you were in the Navy?

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Um, how long? Why did you go in the Navy? Tell us about that.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Uh here, the stereotypes, right? So I am Filipino American, obviously, and uh the growing up Filipino, um, your parents only give you two options. Well, and that's how only my mom, right? And my aunties and the whole army. You're either gonna be a nurse or you're gonna join the military. There's no, there's nothing in bit in between. And I I thought about going to the nursing field or medical field. I was like, I'm so tired of hearing like the sounds of like clinics and hospitals. It's not, it's not, it doesn't give me life.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

And plus you were bad at math. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

I would have failed instantly. So I was like, well, I guess I'll just go join the military. And that's what I did. That was my way out.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Did you travel much in the military?

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Uh yeah, definitely. I went to like 16 different countries in the Navy. Um, I lived in Japan for a time.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

What would basically be you in Japan? Yokosuka? Uh Yokosuka. Oh, how funny.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

That's actually where I've met my ex-wife.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

So really, oh is she Japanese?

SPEAKER_00 21:20

She was Japanese, so interesting.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

Did you guys have kids? No.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

No kids, okay. Try it.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

Nice. And it says on your TikTok that you're a performer.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Um, I mean like only Oh, performer only fans. Yeah, like an adult performance.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

I was going through your TikTok and I didn't see anything naughty. And I'm like, performer, does he sing?

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Sorry.

unknown 21:41

That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

So describe your perfect girl.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Like in terms of like a partner? Yeah. I mean, my girlfriend's getting there. She's checking off almost every gauge and box I can think of.

SPEAKER_04 21:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

You know? I just wish she wasn't so hard on herself. Uh you know, I know baby could probably watch this later, but like she's really hard on herself. I think it's what you mentioned earlier. Because she's jealous of my my clientele or the people I work with on camera. But more so like um she feels like she can be better, you know, she can look better. And I I understand that because I hey I I wasn't born this way. I put in the work in the gym, I put out the work in my nutrition. Um this is not something that I just magically turn into. As a matter of fact, it was a polar opposite, you know. I was just like a fat nerd in high school all the way to college.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Well, and it's hard. We were talking about this in our previous episode with women comparing themselves to other women, and it's so hard not to compare yourself, especially if she's seeing your clients and and your, you know, your co-stars, coworkers, who are all very beautiful, I'm sure, and in great shape. And so it's just like it's really hard not to compare yourself to the women that you're surrounded with.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Man, especially the the bodybuilder chicks that I coach, that's something I remind them every single time. Comparison is a thief of joy. That's what I say. Stop comparing yourself to social media because social media is like over glamorized, you know. Like no one's gonna like these models.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

It's not real, anyways.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Yeah, it's like it's not most of it is like 15% of it say it's real. Everything else is fabricated.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

Yeah. So when you were single, did you have any crazy date stories?

SPEAKER_00 23:11

I was barely single though. That's the thing. Because like right after my divorce, um, you know, I just had to like kind of shroud my emotions. You know, I did see a therapist right after my divorce was finalized, and she was out of the country and she left and everything and just left me with all her stuff, you know. And like I shed my tears. Um, I got a therapist, I did a lot of sessions with her, and she helped me a lot. Um but I still didn't want to jump into like the dating scene. I just focused on work. Like that's what I told myself. I was like, well, instead of thinking about my emotions, I just think about my my wallet and my business. So I clouded myself in that so strongly that even when I brought up my OnlyFans um like a little more professionally, uh, the second girl, oh the first girl I dated right after that, I was an OnlyFans creator. And it was kind of rough because not that I was jealous what she was doing, um, obviously, because I do the same thing and we had an understanding. It you would think that we, oh, we both do the same thing, so wouldn't we understand each other more? No, because I I've learned that women are very attached to emotions when it comes to sex. Am I right? Like there's whereas guys can like, oh, we can just cold face, you know, this and that. Um some guys like me, I I started to materialize into what uh how women see it as well. Like it has to be a little emotional, it has to be a little uh you know, um connection rather than just attraction.

Navy Life And Meeting His Ex-Wife

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yeah. Are you ready for it? I'm ready for it. The keep more minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies. They help you keep more in your wallet, we help you keep more in your relationship. So we have listener question. So needing some advice, how long into the talking stage do you think it's time for them to make things official, like boyfriend, girlfriend? I know most people will say, go off how you're feeling, or each experience is different, but I've been talking to someone for about seven weeks. We've been on numerous dates, we always have a good time together. He texts me, good morning, good night. In a nutshell, it's going well. So I'm over here thinking, why hasn't he made it official? I've stayed in a situationship in the past for about six months with no titles, and I'm not trying to end up in a position like that again. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 25:18

I feel like I've heard the story multiple times. And it can go two ways. One, I think in this gentleman probably is a great guy, but just doesn't know how to like, you know, guys are just very we have a wall, right? We want this, we don't want to be too in tune with our emotions sometimes to even someone we're talking to. So I'm hoping this gentleman um and for her for her for her sake, is kind of how I was. Like I just didn't want to let my emotions down because I just had it scarred pretty badly. So I can relate to that guy, but not prolong it for what, eight, eight or seven weeks? I think that by that time you should already be like you know, holding hands at the park and consciously and going on you know more dates. On the other side of the spectrum though, oh good.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Is there a good way as a man to hear the what are we question?

SPEAKER_00 26:04

If the female says it first?

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Yeah. If the female, because they say that it's like that's like the doomed question, right? Is the what are we? It's like as the woman, as soon as you say what are we, you scare the man away.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Maybe I'm just like so like head on. Like I'm a very direct direct person, like in it. So when I told her, are we are we a thing? Yeah, okay. We are okay. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

You asked it as the man. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. It's if the woman, I feel like that's the thing that women are women are scared to ask it, because usually when a woman asks it, it's the end.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

The end if the gentleman is not on board with it, right? Yeah. Oh, I see, I see.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

That sucks. And that's kind of what I was fearing in the dating scene, especially in the 30s, my 30s, right? Um, I would I never heard that personally. Like I'm not, I I was always the one that was head charging.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

Yeah. Can you always gauge in your gut whether a guy wants to only talk to you totally? You can feel it, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:02

You know, I feel like you know, but I there's a lot of girls, though, I think that aren't that intuitive.

What Makes A Great Partner

SPEAKER_03 27:08

I mean, just the way a guy texts you, treats you, talks to you, looks at you, you can tell if he wants to be serious or not. So I don't even have that conversation if I can tell.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah, you know, I typically don't either. And the thing is, is if a guy isn't being the one that's initiating those conversations, it's a no for him. Yeah. Like if it's not a yes for him, if it's not a he's the one making it's true. Like if he's not the one initiating that conversation of, hey, I want to take this to the next level, he doesn't want to. He doesn't want it.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

It's so true. I mean, Lindsay said it, like, um, if it was me, that would have been me. I would have been like engaged. I that's exactly what I did with my partner. I text her every morning, every night. Hey, how you doing? Um, do you have anything? Do you have lunch yet? Can I come by during a break? Drop on some lunch, you know. That was me. Because I wanted romance. Like I wanted to feel emotional romance connection, right? Sex is one thing, but that's you know, that that means a lot more to me at this point in my life.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Yeah, I think after three dates, Aaron like jokingly said, Oh, you're not texting someone else, are you? Because I'm not texting anyone else. I don't need to be, you know, he kind of made a joke about it. Yeah. Like after three dates. And just because he texted me all the time and called me, I kind of knew that. Yeah. So yeah, communication is key, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 28:18

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

So we're gonna discuss more Reddit. So I posted on Reddit, red flags you ignored because they were so hot. So our viewers, listeners had given us examples. Have you ever ignored any red flags because they were so hot?

unknown 28:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Like I mentioned, I dated two uh OnlyFans creators after my divorce, and obviously they're they're pretty up there, right? Um, the biggest red flag was uh one of them. Would is this while we're dating already? Like, or just yeah, either.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Either.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Okay, so we were already dating at this time, like fresh, like maybe three months in. And this person I was dating, she was also OnlyFans creator, like I mentioned. I think she took the context of our work a little too far, where like she started randomly to text me, hey Kim, can you drop me off the airport? Uh I'm gonna go see this guy for a scene. I'm like, wait, I didn't even know about this. You know, like it was super last minute, and then she'll like disappear for like, you know, a week or whatever, come back. I was like, Well, honey, I hope you made pretty good content and you know, we can make money off that or whatever case may be. But it wasn't, you know, and that's something just she wasn't going to work. She was going it was like, oh man, it sucks. Cause like I it taught me a lot of lessons where I feel like she just did it for fun. Whereas I took it a lot seriously. I'm a very passionate person. I'm very passionate about bodybuilding and coaching. So I applied the same principles to adult work where I want to make the scene as amazing as possible, as professional as possible, and we could be on our merry way. Right. And hopefully we can work together in the future if we make good lucrative income, right? So that's the way I saw uh you know adult work. It's a business to me, it's a paycheck. However, in her case, it really wasn't. Because now she's just going out parties with them, or like, oh, they're I I kind of just like let it happen, and that's my fault. I didn't know how to gauge this because um I just wanted to be in a relationship, you know. Does that make sense? Like, just wanted to say, I'm taken.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah, she was going on side quests.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Basically, yeah, that wasn't much work related, it was a fraction.

Listener Question On Defining The Relationship

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Yeah. So here are some from our listeners. He kept saying, I'll end up like my mom. I hate it when guys do that. Saying I love you for the first like to end up like my mom. Thank you very much. I hate it when guys say you should always look at the mother, and if the mother's fat and ugly, she's gonna end up. The mother of the woman. Yeah, have you heard that before? Do you guys judge a woman based on the mother? Yeah. And we're like, actually, I know guys that have stopped dating a girl because of the way the mother looks. Like, how's it? Really?

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Shallow. So shallow.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

Like, I hate that. Saying I love you for the first time we had sex after only knowing each other for three days. That's a red balance already. This one's crazy, and this is a legit story. He was so lazy about trimming his fingernails. They weren't long, long, but they grew a quarter of an inch past his finger, and I always found it icky in men. I grew to ignore it, and he took this as a green light, and they kept getting longer. And one time he fingered me, cut me up, and I bled so much, I lost my shit. I was absolutely disgusted by him because it hurt so much, or because he was too lazy to cut his fingernails. Okay, that's a hygiene issue. I was gonna say bacteria under the case.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

I can see why that's a red flag for anybody.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Like, and why did she let him fingernail her with those long nails?

SPEAKER_00 31:26

I love you, honey. That's probably what it is.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

Her phone was constantly buzzing 24-7. I shrugged it off as normal. Turned out she was maintaining flirtatious conversations with multiple guys, keeping that door open with subtle charm and playful texts. The real kicker, she never even stopped talking to her ex. His name was saved as my heartbeat on her phone.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

I feel like that happened.

SPEAKER_03 31:46

I feel like that happens a lot. It does happen a lot. I feel like that happens a lot.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

I feel bad.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

Smoking math. Uh no shit, sure a lot. Carrying ex trauma, their insatiable need for attention and validation from others, especially women. He turned out to be a serial cheater because he loved to be desired and one person wasn't enough. I know a lot of guys like that that just need that constant, you know, validation and constant attention.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Okay, so my girlfriend actually asked me a long time ago if that's that was me, like why I do what I do, right? I said, honestly, it was like that in the beginning, but now that I'm with you, it's more like, can this girl help me in my business? Because sometimes I have to shoot with creators who I'm not attracted to at all.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

God, that would be hard.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

It is as a guy, yeah. Because there's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

How do you like because you physically have to be be there, be present, be performing?

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Oh, yeah, with cameras and lights and maybe their husband recording on the side.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

And if you're not attracted to them, how do you do that?

SPEAKER_00 32:39

Just mentally, like, well, that's the thing is like man. I'm not I've done everything from smoke weed to uh get you know, take a couple shots prior to you, just have to kind of find a mental uh I guess stimulant to get you through it. Because as a guy, our dopamine really affects our erection ability to stay hard. But I'll tell you this from being a male creator, a lot of times we don't finish scenes ejaculating.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Uh we fake it. But how do you do you have like white liquid that you use, like, or do you just hide it, do the shot so you can't see anything coming out?

SPEAKER_00 33:11

If it if it entails showing the fluids, we would grab like say coconut lotion or something like that. Really?

SPEAKER_01 33:18

Yeah, some kind of lotion that kind of replicates and just wasn't that one of the facts when we had that porn star on. Wasn't there something about the industry like they inject liquid in there?

SPEAKER_03 33:29

And yeah, it's a lot of it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

If it's a cream pie scene. If it's a lot, if it's a lot, if it's a cream pie scene, meaning like, because honestly, that's how I organically finish a lot of my scenes. So like I'll pull out, the camera zooms in, whether I'm the cameraman or that we have one, and she just shows off the sludge flowing out.

SPEAKER_02 33:48

So that's a cream pie. I was gonna ask. What's a cream pie guy? Okay, now I remember.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

But what you mentioned about the, you know, putting the liquid in, that's if they can't do it. Like the guy cannot organically ejaculate on camera. Which I've been in like gangbang scenes and threesome scenes, and I there are maybe one or two guys, usually that that happens to.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

I don't know. Gangbang gangbang scenes can't even say it. Aren't they exhausting?

SPEAKER_00 34:10

It seems like they're actually pretty chill, as from for the woman.

SPEAKER_03 34:17

Is it multiple men and one woman? Yeah, so it's yeah, the poor woman, man. Do some women enjoy that? Like maybe some women do.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

I don't think they're doing it just for the just for the money. I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

No, I think at least I hope so. I think some women do enjoy it. No, I think it's a I think it is a fantasy. It's like a kink, I think, for women. I think there's someone.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Wasn't there that one police officer that she was gangbanged by all the cops in the precinct?

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Remember it was in the news? I don't remember. No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

It came up because someone filmed it or something and it got out. But she wanted it. She became a meme. She wanted it.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

She became a mic.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

I'm sure she didn't.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

She became a porn star?

SPEAKER_00 34:55

No, she became a meme, like a meme. It was in her face, and then like everybody knows what we're talking about.

Red Flags People Ignore When Hot

SPEAKER_03 34:59

How embarrassing. He didn't masturbate. That's one of these. Is that a red flag? If a guy doesn't masturbate.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

That's a red flag for the female to catch.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Huh?

SPEAKER_01 35:10

You're saying Is it a red flag for if a man does you're like dating someone and he tells you he doesn't masturbate? Is that a red flag? I've never met a man that doesn't masturbate. I feel like that process.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Well, it's true.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

Either he's practicing some sort of celibacy.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

Maybe he's super religious and he, I don't know, that's considered cheating on his. I don't know. And then the last one, my wedding photographer called and said someone was asking a lot of questions about the couples in the photos on his website. Are they models? How long ago was this? Are they still together? I asked for the person's contact, called her and found out she's been dating my husband of nine months for six months. Kick her, I was already pregnant. Oh, snap. Dang, that's bad.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

That's a nightmare scenario.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

Right? So now it's time for the celebrity cup. We'll be marinate in the juices of the celebrities. So gotta talk Megan Markle. Do you like Megan Markle? Do you know much about Megan Markle? And I feel bad for her at this point because I feel like everything she touches just fails. So she's doing this retreat. Have you heard about the retreat Meghan Markle's talking at in Australia? So they're charging$3,000, okay, for two nights at this hotel. Comes out that it's non-refundable. They said it was sold out initially. You had to go on a wait list, but all the people on the wait list automatically got rooms. Now they're saying, ooh, 500 rooms have automatically are now have been released. So it wasn't sold out. But it's$3,000 for this retreat, and you have to share a room with a stranger.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

So they're also paying$3,000?

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Huh?

SPEAKER_00 36:33

They're also paying three.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

People that go to this retreat to hear her speak pay$3,000 for two nights. And they have to spend a twin room with a stranger or pay double occupancy.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Oh, that's weird.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_01 36:47

If you so for as a couple, you have to you pay you have to pay the double.

SPEAKER_03 36:53

$3,000 each. Yeah. It's per person.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

What do they get out of this?

SPEAKER_03 36:57

They it's like a wellness retreat where they do it yoga once a day, and all meals aren't even included. But then you get to hear Meghan Markle speak at one of the events. I see. Yeah. But now I guess it's been a lot of scrutiny because, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

It sounds a lot like that that festival, that fire festival.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

They're gonna get there and it's gonna be just nothing. Well, and like she has a lot of haters. So people are like, we're gonna go and just crash it and film it. We have metaglasses, we're gonna film it all. Because they've had this strict, like non-filming disclosure in the event. And now they're saying, oh, we might have to cancel it because of security threats. But people are saying they're gonna cancel it because they have no ticket sales, but they're blaming it on security. There's actually no security threats. Because what person that doesn't like Megan Markle is really gonna pay$3,000 to crash this event in Australia? Like, I'm gonna fly to Australia 24 hours away, pay$3,000 just to secretly film meta glasses. I don't know. That's fine. Anywho, when you when you were single and you were to take a girl out, what was your ideal place to take her? Were you dinner type of thing?

SPEAKER_00 38:00

I definitely went for the Italian route. Italian, really? Italian dinner, you can't go wrong. You know, there's water. The music, the just the language itself, you know, it's a beautiful language. Even hearing, even if you don't understand anything, just hearing the genuine Italian waiter pronounce things. You know, like it's not something you're you're accustomed to. Um and it's just romantic, I think.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

I agree. Italian restaurants are my happy place, I feel. Now it's time to get to know you with Zoya, sponsored by Zoe, your neighborhood yogurt. Okay, rapid fire star questions. Are these red flags or no? Um, they still follow their ex on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Not a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 38:31

Not a red flag. They have roommates if they're over 30.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Roommates over there? Not a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 38:36

Don't like dogs.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Oh, red flag. Really? I'm a dog dad.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

Post gym selfies daily.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Not a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Bad tipper.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Oh, not a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Has no social media at all.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Ooh. That's that leaves a lot uh red flag.

SPEAKER_03 38:51

Talks about crypto on the first date. Calls their mom every single day.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Calls the individual?

SPEAKER_03 38:58

Calls their mom. Oh, calls her mom.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

No, it's not a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

No. Orders dinner for you without asking what you want.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Not a red flag.

SPEAKER_03 39:06

Not a red flag. Um is watching porn considered cheating?

SPEAKER_00 39:10

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

Before you're intimate, is it appropriate to ask your date how many people they've been with?

SPEAKER_00 39:15

No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

Is it acceptable to have sex on the first date?

unknown 39:18

No.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

And last but not least, what is your favorite sexual position and why?

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Oh man. I'm very, very vanilla, believe it or not. I like a nice missionary position. I want to see their facial reactions.

SPEAKER_03 39:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

With me doing the work. That gives me motivation and drawing.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

So when you first met your partner and she or you started dating her and she knows that you had done OnlyFans, was she was she expecting you to be wild and crazy in the bedroom?

SPEAKER_00 39:42

She gives me so much shit about this. Um, she expected that. Like, and I told her, honey, like we're having sex off camera. Meaning, this is real normal like sex, right? Why do we have to do the acts that I do on camera? Because like, again, that's a job to me, you know? Like, believe it or not, like if any any guy ever wants to get in porn, you're gonna have to be in positions that you know, really just don't get a satisfaction out of it, but you have to maintain your stiffness, you have to just go with the flow, make sure the girl looks good, don't cover her up, you know, whatever case may be. Um, and I've encountered that throughout the years where I'm just more focused solely on making the scene look good. And that's where I stand. You know, it's not a pleasurable uh experience for 50% of the time. Eventually, uh, I do have to get in that mindset because I have to finish a certain way. At least if the scene calls for it.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

And do you have someone choreograph your content or like plan it or see scene at it?

SPEAKER_00 40:34

I would say 50% of the time, um, it's just me and the individual. Sometimes they're partners there, sometimes they're camera crews there, their makeup artists, whatever case may be. But nobody's really there unless we we have a specific uh themes to go about it. Like, say this theme is you know, me pulling you out of a dog kennel and you have a leash around you and you have dog ears, and then on a you know, kind of and I don't normally do this step on her face because I'm trying to assert my dominance before we get the so I'm just using an actual thing that I did, you know. If there's like a little running porn story behind it to add some flavor or pizzazz, because at this day and age, um, especially for the independent creators, we have to keep up with social media. Social media, like you could um, I'll say this if an OnlyFans creator or any adult creator doesn't have a good social media presence, they're gonna have a hard time. So they have to create content, even if it's cringy, even if it's weird. Who cares?

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Have have you ever been like really grossed out or put off of a partner in a scene and when you're like it was a str you were on the struggle bus?

SPEAKER_00 41:33

Yes, this was actually very recently.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

Really? Can you tell us?

Celebrity Scoop On Meghan Markle Retreat

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Uh, because this individual, um, she requested that for the first five minutes of the video, and look, I don't I I I don't I I don't I don't ever hit women. So this was a new one for me. She asked me, like, literally, uh hey, I need you, you know, I need you to smack my ass really hard, like like hard, use your muscles. Like, I'm like, really? Yeah, it's just the camera's recording. So I'm like literally bam! Like leaving actual purple bruises all over her. And then I started asking, like, I I paused the camera, I said, Wait, is this even legal to put on OnlyFans? And she said, Absolutely not. That's why he's gonna go on dark fans. So that's when I learned a whole new subgenre. Again, I'm very vanilla, okay? Oh my god. I what they I'm what they call a stunt cock in in adult. Before it was just my half my body, my legs, and you know, my ass, and my penis, but now it's just me a whole because I'm my own creator. Um, but now so I get pulled into these storylines. Oh, he's this Asian guy who's doing porn, let's let's use him, right? Um, and this creator that I worked with, like, it was very unusual. She wanted to be beat her up, and then like I felt very like I was definitely not hard for this, okay? My wiener was like a shrimp, okay? It did not exist. I and uh she there was one scene we're dead where she sat, like I'm kind of open leg like this, and she had sat right there facing the camera where you would be, and she wanted me to smack her boobs really hard, like over and over again for like five minutes straight. And she kept going, keep going, keep going. I'm like, Are you sure? Like, like, and then by the end of the scene, it was like bloody. Oh my god, like not like I swear, like it was really, really cruel, and that kind of like she never mentioned this prior to this. Is why I thought we were just shooting a normal scene, but she made this request prior to us actually filming our boy girl scene, that's what it's called.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

Dang, so there's a sh website called Dark Fans, and it's like they're really big. Really?

SPEAKER_00 43:24

I just came from the pork porn convent convention uh in Las Vegas in January. Uh and yeah, that same girl was there on their booth, like they had their own booth there, and I was like, oh of course this way. I don't even want to make contact with her because she knew how awkward I felt. Yeah, I was like, it was very different for me. I've never physically abused any female ever. And this girl is literally asking me to slap her titty, slap her ass to the point where my hands actually hurt. Like my I had calluses from that, you know, and I I work out every day, so this was even more unusual. She wanted the actual abuse and pain.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

That's why that's crazy. People are into people are crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:01

Thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market. And thank you so much, Kim. And thank you to our sponsors, Tactical Tax Strategy. This tax season, if you want to keep more of your own money in your wallet, you need to go to Tactical Tax Strategies. And we'll see you next week at the Meat Market. Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

He looks absolutely nothing like his picture. So I found out the guy that I've been dating is married with kids. His wife just reached out to me.